Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 79

On the weekend following their visit to Cheon Hyein’s charnel house, Kim Hyun-kyung’s 49th-day memorial service was held. Having spent several days sharing unspoken stories and engaging in deep conversations, the two decided to go to the supermarket on Friday evening to prepare the ancestral rites for Saturday.

They said global warming was serious, and indeed, the weather was erratic. Just a few days ago, it wasn’t cold enough to need more than a shirt, but today was one of the coldest days on record. Before leaving the house, Cheon Sejoo frowned as he wrapped a scarf around Sejin’s neck.

“Why?”

“No…”

When Sejin immediately asked, noticing his wrinkled brow, he shook his head slightly and lowered his gaze. Then, he subtly raised his eyes again to look at Sejin. He caressed Sejin’s cheek and said, “Stop growing now.”

“…”

At his words, Sejin, who had been staring down at him, turned his gaze to the mirror attached to the shoe cabinet. It hadn’t been long since his eye level was not much different from Cheon Sejoo’s, but now it was. Sejin’s eyes were now three to four centimeters higher than Cheon Sejoo’s. Sejin, who had been quietly staring at his own towering head, pouted his lips and bent his waist. He leaned his cheek against Cheon Sejoo’s shoulder, who was wearing a jumper, and lightly kissed the nape of his neck, asking, “Is it gross…?”

No way. As he grew taller, his legs and arms also lengthened, but Sejin’s body was still beautiful. As his bones grew, his torso also gradually thickened, yet perhaps because his waist was slender, the line from his shoulders to his waist was so incredibly beautiful. Just looking at him, it was impossible not to lay a hand on him. Seeing Sejin lying down with a body as long as a model’s, far from being disgusting, it was only extremely arousing.

However, knowing that no matter how much he explained, Sejin would only react to the compliment about being pretty with a sulky expression, Cheon Sejoo shrugged his shoulders, pushed him away, and playfully retorted, “A little?”

“…You’re the small one, I’m not big.”

“What?”

And at the blunt retort, Cheon Sejoo raised his eyebrows as if he had heard all sorts of nonsense. To call a man who was 181cm tall “small,” not even “short,” was nothing short of slander. But while the person who should have been offended remained silent, Sejin scoffed and walked out the front door, making Cheon Sejoo miss his chance to argue.

Here we go again. Shaking his head, he followed Sejin out the door and saw a round head standing in front of the elevator. Cheon Sejoo confirmed that the elevator was coming up from the basement, approached Sejin, and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“You’re sulking.”

At his words, Sejin glared at Cheon Sejoo as if asking what he was talking about, raising his eyes. He retorted with cat-like sharp eyes, “No, I’m not?”

But the defiance in his voice could not be hidden. He was completely sulking but pretending not to be… Cheon Sejoo silently watched him, then spotted Sejin secretly pouting his lips, and with an amused laugh, he turned in front of him.

Then, before Sejin could turn his head, he lightly kissed his cheek. Their lips softly met and separated, and Cheon Sejoo soothed Sejin in a gentle voice. “Sejin. It’s not gross at all. I was just teasing.”

“…I know…”

Even with that light kiss, Sejin’s voice trailed off. Sejin’s cheeks, shyly lowered, were already flushed red. Cheon Sejoo licked his own lips, his eyes sparkling, then reached out and pulled the nape of his neck.

He parted Sejin’s lips, which were tightly shut in embarrassment, and slipped his hand into his unzipped jumper, caressing his waist. The curve from his ribs to his hip bone was incredibly beautiful. Each time he gently stroked, Sejin groaned, making sounds that drove a person insane. It was at this moment, with his heart stirred, that Cheon Sejoo was about to slip his hand into Sejin’s pants.

“Quite passionate, aren’t we?”

A sarcastic voice came from behind, and Cheon Sejoo sharply turned his head. Chae Beomjun was standing in the wide-open elevator, arms crossed. Dressed in a suit and coat, he held two phones in his hands, and his neat face was filled with annoyance.

“I don’t even have time to date, so why is everyone around me making such a fuss?”

Cheon Sejoo, surprised, bit his lip and caressed Sejin’s cheek, who stood still, then shot back at Chae Beomjun, “What are you doing there like a pervert?”

“What am I doing? I was so busy working that I didn’t even realize I arrived at the parking lot, sending messages, and then I was dragged back up by the 41st-floor call. What are you doing in a public place? You should have some conscience, playing with a child at your age.”

“Tsk, tsk,” Chae Beomjun clicked his tongue and shook his head exaggeratedly, then looked at Sejin, who stood with a blunt expression, smiled broadly, and pointing his finger at the ceiling, said, “You know, right? 42nd floor. If you break up with Chief Cheon, just come up one floor. I’ll treat you well.”

“You f**king bastard.”

At his fierce outburst, Sejin silently rolled his eyes and looked at Cheon Sejoo. The sudden presence of the man was disconcerting and unpleasant, but Sejin was currently adhering to Cheon Sejoo’s words. The advice not to even greet the man on the 42nd floor if he met him again.

As Sejin ignored him, treating him as if he didn’t exist, Chae Beomjun sighed regretfully and shook his head. “Get in quickly. We need to go down.”

“We’ll get in without you telling us.”

Cheon Sejoo irritably retorted to him, then took Sejin’s hand and got into the elevator. Confirming that the basement parking level was pressed, he pressed the 1st floor button, then pulled Sejin and positioned him directly opposite Chae Beomjun. Then, scrutinizing Chae Beomjun’s appearance, he opened his mouth. “Are you going to work at this hour?”

“Haa, yes. The CEO loves cats so much… He’s giving me so much work, not realizing I’m dying.”

Cat? Did Shin Gyoyeon raise a cat? Cheon Sejoo narrowed his eyes in thought, then recalled the deliveryman who had been dragged into that house and nodded. Yoon Hee-su, was that his name? He had felt it since Shin-sa Capital turned upside down because of the illegal loan in his name, but it seemed Shin Gyoyeon cared for him more than he thought. Cheon Sejoo closed his mouth, thinking that all sorts of strange things happened in the world. Meanwhile, Chae Beomjun mumbled weakly to himself. “Some people are working their butts off and don’t even have time to date… My boss and colleagues, they’re living the good life…”

Colleagues, really? They weren’t close enough for such a grand title. The days he worked with Chae Beomjun were perhaps ten days a year, at most. Cheon Sejoo silently scoffed, ignoring his words.

In the meantime, the elevator arrived on the first floor, and as soon as the doors opened, Cheon Sejoo intertwined his fingers with Sejin’s and stepped out. He heard Chae Beomjun click his tongue behind them but didn’t care. He knew it was out of envy.

“It’s not that cold.”

The streets were dark. Perhaps because it was still winter and a cold wave warning had been issued, there were no people walking on the sidewalk illuminated by streetlights. Cheon Sejoo walked towards the supermarket with Sejin’s hand, which he was holding, tucked into his own padded jacket pocket.

White breath billowed from his slightly parted lips. The footsteps of the two walking down the street echoed, and cars occasionally brushed past them, throwing gusts of wind as they disappeared. Yet, it was comfortable. This cold street could not have been more cozy.

It was all peace achieved through Sejin. After losing Hyein, he never thought such tranquility would return, but Kwon Sejin had made it all happen. His existence was more precious to Cheon Sejoo than anything else. Now, it was irreplaceable by anyone…

“Cheon Sejoo.”

“Hmm.”

While walking towards the supermarket, Sejin quietly called his name. Cheon Sejoo looked him in the eye and nodded. Sejin, with flushed cheeks, gazed steadily at Cheon Sejoo, then, seemingly embarrassed, turned his eyes forward and opened his mouth. “That day, you know…”

“That day?”

“When we… you know, that day…”

Cheon Sejoo swallowed a laugh at Sejin’s inability to call sex ‘sex’. “Yes,” he nodded, biting his lip, and tugged on his hand as if to tell him to continue. Sejin hesitated for a moment, then asked, “…Was I bad that day?”

“…”

Caught off guard by the sudden request for evaluation, Cheon Sejoo stopped abruptly. He glanced at Sejin’s serious expression, then sighed inwardly. He seemed to understand why Sejin was asking such a question. It must be because Cheon Sejoo had been subtly avoiding contact with Sejin since visiting the charnel house.

There was only one reason. Cheon Sejoo felt quite responsible for Sejin’s first experience being spent in such a way, while he was drunk. He wouldn’t have cared much if it were someone else, but it was Kwon Sejin. He had sex with a kid who didn’t even know how to kiss, and on that particular day, Cheon Sejoo was drunk and couldn’t properly guide Sejin. That included saying things he wouldn’t have said sober.

Recalling that night, Cheon Sejoo praised Sejin first so he wouldn’t think anything strange. “You were really… good? It was good.”

“…Really?”

At Cheon Sejoo’s quiet whisper, Sejin’s cheeks flushed, visible even in the darkness, and he seemed pleased. Then he squeezed the hand he was holding. He seemed relieved that Cheon Sejoo wasn’t avoiding him because he was bad at sex.

Anyway, Cheon Sejoo had a plan to make up for that day. After the 49th-day memorial service on the weekend and visiting the memorial park, he planned to go to a hotel on a weekday. There, Cheon Sejoo intended to have proper, formal sex with Sejin. Not like that drunken night, babbling nonsense, but truly gently, so that Sejin would have good memories.

But he knew what Sejin’s reaction would be if he explained it. He would say he didn’t care about such things. He might even rush him as soon as they got home tonight. Cheon Sejoo didn’t trust his patience when Sejin was in front of him. So, he planned to let the D-day arrive without giving him any hints.

But as they talked about that day, something suddenly came to mind. Cheon Sejoo narrowed his eyes in thought, then asked Sejin, “…You, why did you come into my room that day?”

“Because I didn’t want Kang Doyoon, that person, to come in.”

At the unexpected name, Cheon Sejoo raised an eyebrow in surprise. He tilted his head, looked up at Sejin, and asked, “Why is that name coming up here?”

“…You called him to your house.”

“Me?”

That was absurd. Cheon Sejoo immediately retorted, frowning and shaking his head. “No. I didn’t call Doyoon.”

At the affectionate honorific that slipped out inadvertently, Sejin narrowed his eyes and glared at Cheon Sejoo. Realizing his mistake, Cheon Sejoo frowned and laughed, then lightly bumped his head against Sejin’s shoulder, apologizing, “Sorry.”

“…”

Unaware that his smooth demeanor was actually fueling Sejin’s frustration, Cheon Sejoo tickled Sejin’s intertwined fingers in his pocket. He gently caressed them as if to lighten the mood, and added, “I really didn’t do that. Look at this.”

Cheon Sejoo took out his phone with his other hand. He showed Sejin the message window with Doyoon, which had no new messages since their last conversation a month ago, and then, to confirm his call history with him, he searched for Kang Doyoon in his contacts and pressed the name.

“…”

Coincidentally, there was a record of a call with Doyoon that night. Cheon Sejoo blinked in embarrassment, and Sejin clenched his teeth, puffing out his cheeks. Cheon Sejoo explained, as if it were absurd, “No, hey. Look. I didn’t call this. Doyoon… Kang Doyoon called me.”

Even though they were emotionless sex partners, it was true that Cheon Sejoo liked Doyoon as a person, and so he couldn’t simply cut off his affection for him like cutting a radish. Cheon Sejoo, who had inadvertently called him Doyoon again, hurriedly changed the honorific and made excuses, but it didn’t work on Sejin.

“…You must have called him without realizing it, while drunk.”

His voice was laced with anger. But that couldn’t be true. He had always met Kang Doyoon when he was sober and completely miserable. He had never met him while drunk, so it was impossible for him to have called him inadvertently.

Cheon Sejoo looked sideways with a troubled expression. Sejin seemed eager to stop the conversation, as it was all in the past. But he was not someone who could just gloss over such things. Suspicion and doubt should not exist between lovers.

“Wait.”

Saying that, he pressed the call button and put his phone on speakerphone. It rang a few times, but Doyoon didn’t answer until it went to voicemail. Seeing Sejin’s expression souring, Cheon Sejoo cursed under his breath.

No, he really didn’t remember calling Doyoon that day. All Cheon Sejoo remembered was going into the room, drinking, falling asleep, and then waking up to find Sejin on top of him. That was all. He clearly remembered the lovemaking that followed, but he couldn’t remember talking to Doyoon before that.

“It’s fine. Stop talking about this.”

Sejin, clearly annoyed, mumbled in a sulky voice.

At that moment, Cheon Sejoo recalled his past relationships. This kind of thing often happened when he dated men in his early twenties. Of course, the seeds of doubt blossomed not from Cheon Sejoo, but from his partners. He had no interest in the detailed explanations from his ex-lovers who would frantically try to justify themselves the moment he raised a question, and he even found it annoying. He couldn’t even tolerate being put in a position to suspect, so he would immediately break up with them.

But now that he was in that situation himself, he felt a warning ringing in his head that he had to clarify the facts to Sejin. Overwhelmed by a sense of injustice, Cheon Sejoo, believing himself to be absolutely innocent, picked up his phone and sent a message to Doyoon.

8:19 PM Doyoon, how are you? Did you call me a few days ago? I don’t remember anything because I was drunk that day, but can you tell me what we talked about?

Cheon Sejoo showed the message to Sejin and said, “I’ll show you when he replies.”

“…Okay.”

At his confident demeanor, Sejin narrowed his eyes and nodded. He was sorry, but even though Cheon Sejoo said he didn’t, he was still a little suspicious, but seeing his actions, he now thought it might really not be the case. Then why did that man come to his house at that time? Sejin walked, thinking deeply.

Walking while kneading the hand he held, they soon saw the supermarket ahead. Since they couldn’t hold hands in a crowded place, they would soon have to say goodbye to the warmth in their pockets.

“Come here.”

Cheon Sejoo looked displeased at the approaching supermarket, then saw a bus stop nearby and led Sejin towards it.

The bus stop, where the bus information screen scattered flickering lights, was empty of people. As it was a city tour bus stop, it was always empty at this late hour.

In the sheltered area with walls blocking the wind from three sides, Cheon Sejoo, with his back to the road, pressed his lips to Sejin’s. He smiled as he lightly kissed Sejin, who widened his eyes and scanned their surroundings. Soon, Sejin’s beautiful eyes softened, and he opened his mouth. Instead of the whooshing sound of cars passing behind them, Cheon Sejoo listened to the moist sounds from Sejin’s lips.

“Here, haa, it’s outside…”

Sejoo smiled, squinting his eyes, at Sejin’s cautious murmur. In the city at night, drivers seemed to click their tongues as they passed by lovers hiding and kissing at the bus stop, as if saying, “Those were the days.” Although he was eager to kiss him, he didn’t want to embarrass Sejin, so Cheon Sejoo quickly pulled back. “I know,” he whispered softly, and his lips lingered on Sejin’s eyes before pulling away. He had to lift his foot slightly because he was so tall, but the brief kiss was still satisfying.

“Let’s go.”

Cheon Sejoo, instead of taking Sejin’s hand again, whose cheeks were flushed, held his shoulder and headed for the supermarket. Unlike before, Sejin’s quickened breaths escaped continuously like clouds from his lips. It was truly a lovely sight.

The supermarket on Friday evening, under a cold wave warning, wasn’t very crowded. The two pushed a cart and picked up what they needed. From time to time, women who noticed Cheon Sejoo, perhaps because he wasn’t wearing a hat, showed interest, but Sejin’s piercing gaze kept them from approaching. Cheon Sejoo simply watched Sejin, who was on guard like a meerkat, with an amused expression.

“Can we put specifically braised short ribs on it too?”

“…I don’t know.”

At Cheon Sejoo’s question, Sejin frowned and shook his head. He knew that food the deceased liked was placed on the ancestral table, but specifically braised short ribs somehow had the image of holiday food, so he wondered if it was appropriate for a 49th-day memorial service.

Sejin, who had been silently pondering, suddenly turned his eyes to Cheon Sejoo. Having taken off his padded jacket and placed it in the cart, wearing only a beige sweatshirt, his hair neatly combed down made him look four or five years younger than usual. Of course, Sejin also had a youthful face, so the two still didn’t look like peers. Looking at him, a feeling of regret welled up.

I wish I had been born a little earlier… It would have been better if there had been only about a five or six year difference. If that had been the case, he wouldn’t have felt defeated by his past partners because of his age. Sejin, a little dejected that Cheon Sejoo treated him too much like a child, asked him, “What did you put on when you held your sister’s memorial service?”

Cheon Hyein, Sejin called her ‘Noona’ (older sister). He didn’t like the term ‘your sibling,’ and since the two were now family, she was like Sejin’s older sister. Of course, it wasn’t that he was Cheon Sejoo’s brother, but that was how it was. At the affectionate term, Cheon Sejoo chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I’ve never held one.”

At his calm voice, Sejin closed his mouth and subtly rolled his eyes. The smiling face, seemingly unbothered, somehow looked lonely. After Cheon Sejoo confessed his past, he would occasionally bring up his sister’s story like this. Each time, Sejin saw regret flitting across his face. It might be laughable to move on from the past with just a few words from him, but he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable each time.

“Then let’s do it together this time.”

Sejin didn’t ask Cheon Sejoo why he hadn’t held the memorial service. It was probably for the same reason that he perfectly remembered the way only to the charnel house parking lot. Instead, Cheon Sejoo simply smiled silently at his words, nodding his head. It was a long time before he got a reply: “Okay.” That was enough.

“Cheon Sejoo, we need to buy food for the house too.”

“Should I get another cart?”

“…Should we?”

While putting ingredients for the memorial service table, he remembered that their house was completely out of food. At Sejin’s words, Cheon Sejoo quickly went to get a cart. Since Sejin ate five packs of ramen at once, they needed two carts to stock up on groceries at home.

When they went grocery shopping, they had to buy two sacks of rice at a time, and vegetables and fruits were usually bought by the box. Sejin had never thought about his appetite before, but now that he could call himself Cheon Sejoo’s lover, he somehow started to wonder if he was eating too much.