Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 70

It was a very complex emotion. Cheon Sejoo wouldn’t feel such fear unless he had feelings for Sejin. To push someone away because you like them – how contradictory an emotion that was. He thought Cheon Sejoo must also feel very frustrated feeling that way.

But he had already faced such emotions many times. Sejin didn’t want to let Cheon Sejoo think alone anymore. Moreover, they had spent the night together, so at this point, Cheon Sejoo had to take responsibility for taking his first time. Sejin, absolutely unable to let him back down, put down the water bottle in his hand, stared intently at Cheon Sejoo with burning eyes, and asked,

“If I know what kind of person you are, then what? Do you think my feelings will suddenly disappear?”

“……”

“You’re acting like a drama protagonist.”

At Sejin’s sudden nonsense, Cheon Sejoo raised an eyebrow as if asking what he was talking about. Sejin explained to him with a sullen face.

“In dramas, the male leads always have some unspeakable circumstances. They act sadly because of it, as if they’re tragic protagonists, but do you know how the drama always ends? The female lead understands everything about the male lead. Things like their circumstances… are nothing in the face of love…”

Perhaps embarrassed to say it out loud, Sejin’s cheeks were slightly flushed by the end. With such a shy face, Sejin confessed to Cheon Sejoo,

“I’m the same. Whatever your circumstances are, I can understand them. But if you don’t want understanding, I’ll just accept it. I won’t try to understand what kind of person you are. I don’t care about that either. I just… want you by my side. That’s all I want.”

This was different from before. At Sejin’s sincere words, Cheon Sejoo stared at him with a hardened face.

Cheon Sejoo was someone who thought love was understanding. Knowing, understanding, and accepting the other person – that’s what he thought love was.

But Sejin was saying that there might be another way to love… that if Cheon Sejoo wished it, he would love him that way.

“How can you be like that, you…”

How could he be so confident? How could he only focus on what he wanted? Was it because of Sejin’s stubborn nature? Suddenly, the fact that he had become something Kwon Sejin stubbornly pursued made Cheon Sejoo’s heart flutter.

Seeing his face flush, Sejin forcibly pulled down the corners of his lips, which threatened to curl up. He cleared his throat and said,

“I’m confident I can love you for life, even if I don’t know what kind of person you are. And even if I’m not understood by you, I’m confident I can make you love me for life.”

Kwon Sejin was truly overflowing with confidence. Even when he realized he liked Cheon Sejoo, Sejin had thought that once he became an adult, he’d be able to have a sweet romance with him. So, there was no way he’d be frustrated now that Sejoo was pushing him away. Why won’t you give me a chance? Even as he resented Cheon Sejoo in that way, Sejin had never once despaired. Because.

“I’m exactly your type, aren’t I? Obedient, young, and thoughtless.”

“……”

And at Sejin’s shy elaboration, Cheon Sejoo frowned, stopping himself from being moved.

“What did you say?”

Cheon Sejoo retorted incredulously, offering his right ear towards Sejin as if he’d misheard. Say it again, he prompted, and Sejin let out a small snort before explaining.

“Obedient, young, and thoughtless. Perfect, right?”

“…What I said was someone docile, about five years younger, and without an ego. What are you talking about?”

The nuances were subtly off. No matter how he looked at it, Kwon Sejin was far from Cheon Sejoo’s ideal type. Of course, an ideal type was just an ideal type, and Sejoo had no intention of forcing Sejin to fit it, nor did he plan to switch to someone else if his ideal type appeared later. Still, Cheon Sejoo found it absurd that Sejin was trying to forcefully insert himself into his ideal type.

However, Sejin didn’t care what reaction he showed. Clearing the empty dishes, Sejin shrugged.

“What’s the difference? ‘Docile’ means ‘obedient,’ doesn’t it? And how obedient am I to you?”

“You’re ‘listen,’ not ‘obey’… What I want is ‘obey.’”

“Are you American? Speak Korean.”

“……”

Thinking of Sejin, who couldn’t even understand such a simple word, Cheon Sejoo suddenly felt a headache coming on. He silently shook his head, pressing his forehead. Sejin, with a sullen look, glared at him in response, then put the stacked dishes into the dishwasher, returned, wiped the table, and said,

“Anyway, I’m right. And you like younger people, don’t you? I’m much younger than you.”

“You don’t even know exactly how many years younger you are than me.”

“Who cares? Anyway, that’s not what’s important, is it?”

The more Cheon Sejoo listened to Kwon Sejin, the less he could believe him. Sejin’s attitude was that his own feelings were paramount and anything auxiliary didn’t matter, but Cheon Sejoo couldn’t help but consider the additional factors. Liking someone without even knowing their age was unimaginable for Cheon Sejoo. He let out a small sigh, resting his chin on his hand again, and looked at Sejin.

“You and I are twelve years apart. We’re zodiac cycle mates.”

Strictly speaking, since Cheon Sejoo’s birth was registered on January 1st, their zodiac signs would actually be different, but it was more convenient to express a 12-year age gap as “zodiac cycle mates.” At this direct statement, Sejin finally showed a proper reaction. He was wringing a dishcloth when he whipped his head around to look at Cheon Sejoo and said,

“Now that you mention it, that really doesn’t suit you. I thought you’d be a Dragon or a Tiger or something.”

“……”

It wasn’t the reaction he expected. He’d told him their age difference, and all he could say was whether their zodiac signs matched or not? He was serious, but Sejin seemed to be just playing around, and Cheon Sejoo increasingly felt a suffocating frustration inside him. He felt like grabbing him by the collar and asking if he was making fun of him.

But even as his face gradually hardened into a cold expression, Sejin didn’t care. Kwon Sejin was pouring all his energy into seizing the opportunity to appeal to him.

“And you said you like younger people. I’m much younger than Kang Doyoon, so it’s an advantage, isn’t it? Later, when you lose your energy, I can carry you around, and I’ll drive you to the nursing home. Everyone will be envious if you say you live with a man twelve years younger, you know?”

“…Hey, it’s not that much of a difference.”

Even with a twelve-year difference, he wasn’t old enough to need Sejin to carry him around. At Cheon Sejoo’s retort, whose mood was instantly annoyed, Sejin glanced at him and shrugged.

“When you’re 60, I’ll only be 48, so it’s similar, you know.”

It might have seemed cute that he was thinking so far into the future, but his primary emotion was annoyance at Sejin’s attitude of treating him like an old man.

It was true that he was older than Sejin. It was also true that he felt guilty sleeping with the young Sejin. But that was because Sejin was excessively young, not because Cheon Sejoo was old.

He wanted to laugh it off, but he was subtly irritated. Cheon Sejoo silently rolled his tongue in his mouth, then soon rasped at Sejin in a displeased voice.

“It’s true I like younger people, but I absolutely can’t stand brats. You’re too young. Plus, you’re cheeky and disobedient. I don’t know where you get the idea that you’re obedient, but you’re a long way from my ideal type.”

“……”

At those words, Sejin, who had hung the dishcloth on the rice cooker and turned around, lifted his eyes in dissatisfaction. They had spent a very sweet and enchanting night, yet he truly couldn’t understand why the conversation was flowing in this direction. Furthermore, he was still embarrassed and awkward because of the memories of their first night, and he felt a surge of defiance towards Cheon Sejoo, who showed no sign of being accustomed to spending nights with someone.

Cheon Sejoo’s sharp reaction just felt like an excuse to push him away. Do you think I’ll give up? Sejin scoffed, completely unfazed, and counterattacked.

“But what can I do? I like old geezers like you.”

“…This kid, really.”

“If you don’t like being treated like an old man, then don’t call me a brat. I know everything now too.”

And who taught you that? Cheon Sejoo let out a short sigh, as if speechless. Seeing him run a hand through his hair, Sejin shrugged and returned to their original conversation.

“Anyway, I’m similar to your ideal type.”

“Not at all.”

He was being stubborn to the very end. At Cheon Sejoo’s firm denial and shake of his head, Sejin obediently nodded. However, contrary to his actions, the words that came out were extremely obstinate.

“You may think it’s not true. But I’m going to think it is.”

“No, is it your ideal type? Isn’t it my ideal type? If the person concerned says no, then it’s no. What do you mean you’re going to think it is?”

As Cheon Sejoo’s blood pressure rose from Sejin’s illogical attitude, Sejin, ignoring him, silently took three apples from the refrigerator and began peeling them with a fruit knife. Chuk-chuk, as the knife moved deftly in his fine fingers, thin apple peels curled off. Sejin peeled an apple without breaking the skin once, then neatly sliced the beautifully revealed apple and stuck a fork in it. He handed it to Cheon Sejoo and said calmly,

“By the way, my ideal type is you. It’s been that way since I started liking you.”

“……”

Now Sejin didn’t even try to hide his feelings. Of course, after inadvertently having sex, he wondered what good it would do to quibble over such things, but hearing such words directly was a little embarrassing. It was at that moment Cheon Sejoo rested his chin on his palm to hide his faintly burning cheeks. Sejin took a bite of his own apple, swallowed, and then opened his mouth, staring intently at Cheon Sejoo.

“Probably your ideal type is me now too.”

Because you like me too. At this confident remark, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t say anything. His mouth felt dry, something boiling up inside his throat. Cheon Sejoo silently chewed on the apple Sejin had given him, then took advantage of the moment Sejin turned his back to clean up the apple peels, stood up from his seat, and went into his own room.

He had known Sejin was audacious since the day they first met, but it was unbearable when it manifested in this way. Cheon Sejoo also wanted him too much to ignore the affection of a twenty-year-old crashing into him with his whole being. He had to tell him the truth soon. Cheon Sejoo swallowed a sigh and lay down on the now tidied bedding.

How much time should he give him? A day? Two days? Surely not a week? Sejin was lost in thought. Yesterday, when Cheon Sejoo asked him for time, he flared up, thinking he was trying to run away again, and acted urgently. But judging by his actions, it didn’t seem to be the case.

Cheon Sejoo no longer denied the words “I like you” that Sejin uttered. He didn’t push him away, nor did he show fear. That meant he was preparing himself to reveal the true nature of his fears to Sejin.

Even though he knew he had to wait patiently, Sejin was anxious. That night, he had freely touched Cheon Sejoo and kissed him, but after Sejoo asked for time, he somehow couldn’t lay a fingertip on him. He wanted to casually hug Cheon Sejoo and lean on him, but watching his deeply contemplative face, he couldn’t bring himself to disturb that time.

So, for the first time in months, Sejin had returned to his own room at the end of the hallway. But that place was no longer the same. The room, once quiet and bright, now felt only lonely and dark. Thanks to this, while lying in bed asleep, Sejin’s consciousness floated far away, to Cheon Sejoo’s room.

Sejin had a dream revisiting their night together and woke up with his drawers soaked, thinking it was a good thing he wasn’t sleeping with Cheon Sejoo, and headed to the bathroom. He hand-washed his underwear, hung it to dry, and then went to the living room to prepare breakfast.

Cheon Sejoo’s door was open, probably because he had gone to exercise. Sejin had his breakfast while Cheon Sejoo’s shake was already prepared. Around the time he was clearing the dishes, Cheon Sejoo returned home. But, wearing a sweat-soaked T-shirt, he had a much more subdued expression than usual. Sejin cautiously examined Cheon Sejoo’s face and saw that his cheek was red and swollen, making his eyes narrow.

“What is it?”

“…What.”

“Were you hit?”

Sejin approached Cheon Sejoo in one stride and reached out his hand. But before his fingertips could even touch his cheek, Cheon Sejoo stepped back first, shaking his head. Don’t, he whispered softly, then opened the refrigerator to get some water, explaining.

“It’s nothing. A mistake by the other person while exercising.”

“How is it nothing when it’s completely red? Who was it? Shouldn’t we report it to the police? Did you get an apology? They didn’t just end it with a simple ‘sorry’ after hitting someone, did they?”

“What’s the big deal that we need to go to the police over this?”

It was something the person who hit him would find amusing. Cheon Sejoo sighed irritably, recalling Shin Gyoyeon’s face, which had been watching him with interest as he was in pain. The first time was a mistake, but after that, Shin Gyoyeon aimed for the same spot again, seemingly wanting to confirm if he felt pain. He struggled because he didn’t want to satisfy that curiosity, which allowed him to finish the sparring without further pain, but recalling that damn personality truly put him in a bad mood.

“…Hey.”

Cheon Sejoo, who had just drunk the shake Sejin made for him, suddenly turned to Sejin as if something had occurred to him. Kwon Sejin was rummaging through the cupboard, pulling out a first-aid kit. Seeing him take out bruise medicine from it, Cheon Sejoo leaned against the island bar and asked him,

“You… back then, when you left the house.”

“Speak clearly. When I was kicked out, you mean. Turn your face.”

He truly didn’t lose an argument. Cheon Sejoo thought of messing up Sejin’s hair, who had a sullen face, and turned his head as he was told. Sejin squeezed some medicine onto his hand and gently rubbed it on his cheek. Receiving the ticklish touch, Cheon Sejoo opened his mouth again.

“Did you see the man on the 43rd floor too?”

“43rd floor? Oh, that person…”

He tilted his head, then nodded as if he understood. Soon, Sejin frowned and asked Cheon Sejoo,

“Was that person responsible? Is he your boss? The man on the 42nd floor also works with you, they said… Are those two like the boss and sub-boss?”

“……”

Boss? Cheon Sejoo laughed incredulously at the term that sounded like it came from a back-alley gang. Indeed, back when it was the Daegam gang, Chairman Shin Gyeongju might have been called something like that. But it had been corporatized for a long time, and now titles like Chairman, Vice Chairman, CEO, and Director were common. Cheon Sejoo turned his eyes to gaze at Sejin and nodded. Something like that, he said, then warned Sejin.

“You, even if it’s not the 42nd floor, don’t talk to the man on the 43rd floor. If you greet him, just give a polite greeting… Try your best not to get involved with him.”

“Why?”

“Why, you ask.”

“Is he a promiscuous person too?”

Cheon Sejoo suddenly furrowed his brows at Sejin’s question. Stay still, he heard Sejin say as he applied the medicine, and he straightened his twisted lips, but then his lips moved again, thinking he had to explain about Shin Gyoyeon.

“That bastard… He’s crazy. He’s a true lunatic, so never even pretend to know him and avoid him if you see him. Got it?”

“…Yeah.”

Sejin glanced at Cheon Sejoo and nodded. Actually, the man on the 43rd floor seemed very kind and gentle compared to the thuggish man on the 42nd floor. He didn’t understand why he was so wary, but Sejin just nodded obediently and then subtly asked him,

“I’m obedient, aren’t I?”

At that brief appeal, Cheon Sejoo laughed incredulously and then reached out to gently stroke Sejin’s hair. His heart fluttered for no reason at the gentle touch. Sejin lowered his eyes and received his touch. He wished the day would come quickly when he would tell him everything.

As if the fact of their sexual encounter had been completely forgotten, they spent a peaceful weekend. Like some time ago, they sat on the sofa watching a movie together and went grocery shopping at the mart. Monday morning, Cheon Sejoo left for work, and Sejin remained alone at home. Sejin spent the morning making side dishes and cleaning, then after lunch in the afternoon, he sat in front of the TV.

He was lying on Cheon Sejoo’s sofa, staring idly out the window, when suddenly his phone rang. He stretched his neck out, thinking it might be Cheon Sejoo, and saw an unknown number calling. Sejin stared blankly at the number, then thinking it was an advertisement, pressed the decline button.

“……”

But no sooner had the vibration subsided than the phone rang again. He frowned, pressed the call button, and put it on speaker. Then, a strange voice from the other end called Sejin’s name.

– Sejin? Kwon Sejin? Hello?

“…Who is this?”

It was a voice he didn’t recognize. As Sejin asked, holding the phone, the other person shouted happily.

– It is Sejin! It’s me, Teacher Lee Jinkyung.

“Oh…”

His homeroom teacher from third year, someone whose existence he had completely forgotten. As Sejin seemed to recognize her voice, she let out a sigh of relief and spoke.

– So, how’s your mother’s health? Is she receiving treatment well?

“…Yes.”

Since he hadn’t announced her death, Lee Jinkyung didn’t even know that Kim Hyunkyung had passed away. Sejin swallowed the lump that instantly rose in his throat and answered quietly. She muttered “That’s a relief” and continued,

– You know you barely graduated because I processed your absences last year as early dismissals, right? Anyway, the graduation ceremony is next week. If you can come with your mother, please do. If not, just you come and pick up your diploma. There’s an album too, and you also need to clear out your locker.

Locker… Sejin suddenly remembered his locker at school. There were various odds and ends in it. Gym clothes and trash, an umbrella he’d put in there in case it rained. …That umbrella was Kim Hyunkyung’s.

“Can I go today?”

Sejin urgently asked her, feeling a rush of urgency at the thought that he had left an item, practically his mother’s relic, neglected at school. Lee Jinkyung, who probably didn’t expect Sejin to come right away, stammered in response.

– Oh? Uh… well. The vacation ends next week, but if you can’t come then… I’m on duty today, so it’d be good if you came and went today.

“Then I’ll go now.”

– Alright, I got it. See you later.

“Yes.”

Sejin hung up the phone and immediately got up to prepare to leave. The weather wasn’t too cold, so he casually threw on a padded jacket over his training clothes, borrowed Cheon Sejoo’s hat, and went out.