Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 58

Cheon Sejoo couldn’t possibly be afraid of him. He wasn’t afraid of Sejin, but of his confession. Why on earth? What makes you so scared? Sejin looked up at him with a face that utterly couldn’t understand. He wanted to know more in detail. He wanted to dig into the reason why he was trying to reject him.

Sejin pulled Cheon Sejoo strongly and turned his body. Stunned by the sudden confession, he didn’t resist Sejin’s strength, unlike usual. Thud, Cheon Sejoo’s back hit the mat, and his short hair was dishevelled. His face, resting on the blue mat, was as pale as someone who had fallen into the sea. Looking down at Cheon Sejoo, whose expression was utterly stiff, Sejin asked a question.

“I like you a lot, Cheon Sejoo.”

A sentence full of sincerity was thrown like bait.

Why do you reject me? What’s the reason?

Sejin’s patience was wearing thin. But Cheon Sejoo wasn’t easy. He stared blankly at Sejin, then his expression hardened, and he lifted his leg and kicked him.

“Ack!”

Sejin shrieked and flew backward, hitting his head against the wall. The wall was also padded with mattresses, so it didn’t hurt, but the fact that Cheon Sejoo had kicked him was a huge shock to Sejin. Panting, Sejin got up and looked down at Cheon Sejoo with eyes that quickly turned red. Biting his trembling lips, he shouted,

“Why did you kick me?!”

“Where did you learn such ridiculous tactics and try to use them? Do you want to be punished?”

Cheon Sejoo, who had risen from his seat, swept back his hair with a cold expression. Sejin clenched his fists at the words he shot out. “Nonsensical trick?” He hated Cheon Sejoo for treating his sincere confession in such a way. But after being struck, his rising stubbornness subsided, and he came to his senses.

Realizing he had just crossed a line, Sejin keenly observed his reaction. Cheon Sejoo’s expression was truly stiff. It was the face of someone who would get angry if he didn’t say it was a joke now. In the end, Sejin couldn’t call his confession a confession, gritted his teeth, and replied, “Anyway, it worked, didn’t it? Your back touched the mat, so I won. Now, teach me how to hit someone.”

“This guy, really…”

At Sejin’s brazen words, Cheon Sejoo’s face softened. Seeing a hint of relief flash across his face, Sejin gnashed his teeth inwardly.

He couldn’t tell what Cheon Sejoo was thinking, so all sorts of conjectures flooded his mind. “Does he perhaps find it awful that I like him? Is that why he dislikes it so much? Like avoiding shit because it’s dirty, did he run away then because he hated me?” But that thought quickly faded.

Objectively speaking, Sejin possessed a face and physique that would be welcomed by anyone. Cheon Sejoo himself had once praised Sejin’s beautiful legs, and the way he constantly looked at him as if he wanted to devour him meant his face must also be perfectly to his liking. These were all subjective conjectures without any real basis, but Sejin thought so anyway. Since there was no reason for Cheon Sejoo to dislike him, he believed there was another reason for his rejection of his confession. It was truly an extraordinary level of self-confidence.

Anyway, unlike Sejin, who couldn’t control himself and kept inadvertently letting his feelings for him show, Cheon Sejoo was someone who knew how to perfectly control himself. Sejin simply couldn’t figure out what he was thinking or what feelings he held.

“Cheon Sejoo.”

“What.”

Cheon Sejoo, as if drained by Sejin’s playful yet not-so-playful actions, was tidying up the mat to finish their workout. Sejin snatched the mop from his hand as he wiped the floor, then knelt down himself, wiping the mat as he asked, “I have a question.”

“What. If you’re going to talk nonsense, be quiet.”

Cheon Sejoo’s voice was cold. Nevertheless, Sejin didn’t flinch, glancing up at him. Opening the window, Cheon Sejoo was lighting a cigarette with sunken eyes.

There was no one else to hear about Cheon Sejoo from but him. However, Sejin wasn’t particularly skilled at having smooth conversations. He couldn’t even think of beating around the bush, so Sejin simply asked Cheon Sejoo, “What’s your ideal type?”

Just to confirm, for now… He asked, considering the very low possibility that Cheon Sejoo genuinely found him awful. Of course, Cheon Sejoo didn’t react kindly. With sharp eyes, he looked down at Sejin, who was squatting on the floor, mopping. Then he asked in a chilling voice, “Why are you curious about something like that?”

Just because he didn’t acknowledge it didn’t mean these feelings would disappear. In fact, every time Cheon Sejoo ignored the feelings Sejin had accidentally let slip and turned away, Sejin felt like pouring out all his heart to him. But because Cheon Sejoo was ignoring his feelings, it was also possible to ask such a question so casually.

“We live in the same house, can’t I even ask that much? For your information, my ideal type is similar to yours.”

“…”

It was a tactic of feigning ignorance, but Sejin knew that Cheon Sejoo would keep his mouth shut forever unless he himself openly revealed his true feelings first. It was only natural for such a stubborn person who hadn’t even mentioned paying back his debt or covering his hospital and treatment costs.

And that fact proved that he was quite precious to Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo was ignoring him so as not to run away from him. It was a huge contradiction, but because he couldn’t deny that affection lay at the base of this contradiction, Sejin could endure this ridiculous behavior.

“So, what’s your ideal type?”

Even if he made it so obvious, Cheon Sejoo would pretend not to notice. He would just be annoyed, perhaps feeling as if Sejin was teasing him, about to cross the line but not quite. The moment Cheon Sejoo finally couldn’t bear it and opened his mouth was Sejin’s chance. A chance to hear the hidden truth from him.

At Sejin’s direct and brazen question, Cheon Sejoo scoffed in disbelief. Then he stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray on the windowsill and said, “Pretty, small, and a younger person without a self.”

“…”

Sejin’s eyebrows twitched. It was an ideal type excessively far from himself. “Are you saying that on purpose?” The question rose to his throat, but Cheon Sejoo’s face was serious. His eyes conveyed that he wasn’t telling a single lie.

Finally, Sejin composed himself and thought. “Pretty…” Actually, he had a handsome face, but “pretty” didn’t really suit him. One condition was met, at least.

Next, “small…” What needed to be small? Sejin thought hard for a moment, then nodded. Now that he thought about it, Kang Doyoon, that guy, was short and had a small face. Since Sejin had a small face, that condition could also be considered somewhat met. It felt a little forced, but Sejin decided to just move on. And finally… Sejin pondered the last condition, then asked, as if he didn’t understand, “What does ‘without a self’ mean?”

Cheon Sejoo stared at Sejin blankly, then answered in a flat voice, “Someone who quietly says ‘yes’ when I say something. Someone who doesn’t talk back unnecessarily, doesn’t defy, and is obedient. Someone who isn’t a pain in the ass.”

The last words were undoubtedly aimed at him. It felt like he was deliberately saying the opposite of him. Sejin, whose mood turned sour listening to his explanation, glared at him with a sulky face.

“What kind of taste is that? It’s perverted. Do you like doing weird things? What do you do that they only have to say ‘yes’?”

At his accusatory words, Cheon Sejoo’s blood pressure steadily rose. His head throbbed, and Sejin’s actions of the past few days flashed before his eyes.

Cheon Sejoo could overlook Sejin making mistakes, barely, almost crossing the line. Because he felt Sejin’s confusion even when he was tying his gown, because he saw him curl his fingertips when he tried to touch his face, because he knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose.

But he absolutely couldn’t tolerate this brazen behavior of dipping his toe in and then pulling it out so shamelessly. “What’s wrong with my taste?” It seemed like he was being sulky because it was far from his own preferences, but rather, the strange one was Kwon Sejin.

Cheon Sejoo glared at Sejin and retorted fiercely, “Do you think your taste is normal?”

“What?”

He thought and thought for days, but he still couldn’t understand. What did Sejin know about him anyway? In his eyes, he was nothing more than a loan shark, a gangster, a thug, an ill-tempered person who looked down on Sejin and scolded him for having done well in school. Yet, the fact that Sejin had fallen for him due to the few kindnesses he had shown him made Cheon Sejoo furious.

“You really have no eye for people.”

“…”

And in Cheon Sejoo’s words, Sejin realized what it meant to receive more than you gave. A huge shock hit Sejin. “What does that mean?” He barely swallowed the shout rising to his throat and closed his mouth. Cheon Sejoo looked down at him silently, then turned away. Watching him leave the room and step into the hallway, Sejin belatedly followed him.

He couldn’t believe what he had just heard was true. He couldn’t believe that anyone, especially Cheon Sejoo, would say such a thing. Sejin, filled with frustration, trailed after him as he entered the dressing room.

“I do have an eye for people.”

“…”

Sejin uttered the words as if defending him. It was truly disarming for Cheon Sejoo to belittle himself. He was always a man full of confidence. A man who knew better than anyone that he was smart and handsome. But for him to say Sejin had no eye for people, knowing that Sejin liked him, was Cheon Sejoo himself breaking the image of the person Sejin had known all along.

The words he uttered carried a sense of self-loathing. It was shocking and at the same time, heartbreaking. If that was a part of Cheon Sejoo that he didn’t know about, he felt like he simply couldn’t bear it.

Sejin vividly remembered the moment he felt disgusted with himself for feeling hungry after his mother’s death. It was a short time, but Sejin had been incredibly miserable then. The moments when he hated himself and couldn’t bear it were so painful. Thinking that Cheon Sejoo always lived with such feelings in places he couldn’t see truly upset him. Sejin clung to Cheon Sejoo and chatted, “My ideal type is a truly amazing person, why do you ignore that? I have very high standards for people. I don’t just like anyone.”

“Be quiet.”

Despite Cheon Sejoo’s growl, Sejin continued speaking, unconcerned. He couldn’t let him despise himself.

“Really. My ideal type is truly gentle, kind, and has a very good personality.”

“Kwon Sejin!”

Cheon Sejoo burst out, as if he couldn’t listen anymore, in front of the pouring words of Sejin. He gazed at Sejin with a stiff, hardened face. Sejin closed his mouth calmly, observing his expression.

Cheon Sejoo looked angry. He looked frustrated.

“You… know nothing.”

Sejin clenched his fists at his words, which were like a sigh. Then you tell me. Just like I did, why don’t you give me the right to understand you too? But he couldn’t say that in the end because Cheon Sejoo had those fearful eyes again, just like before. The moment he met those eyes, Sejin somehow understood the meaning of his words.

“…You can say that because you know nothing.”

Are you not giving me a chance because you’re afraid of me understanding you? Sejin swallowed the question internally, meeting Cheon Sejoo’s gaze. He waited for him to give a little more hint. But that was it. Cheon Sejoo, as if his patience had run out, irritably swept his hand over his face and warned Sejin, “Stop it. Unless you want to be kicked out.”

“…”

It was a warning to stay within the line. Sejin, a little scared, obediently nodded. Thinking that one more step would lead to Cheon Sejoo running away or kicking him out, he decided to retreat for now. Anyway, there was some gain, and that was enough.

“Haa…”

A sigh full of frustration escaped him. Cheon Sejoo couldn’t help his discomfort, his face stiff, as he moved his fingertips. Tap, tap, the sound of tapping on the sofa armrest echoed in the silence.

A slight frown between his brows and tightly pursed lips. He had been in this state since yesterday. There was only one reason: Kwon Sejin. His attitude was making Cheon Sejoo shrink back.

Sejin hadn’t mentioned his escape that day at all afterwards. Even when Cheon Sejoo drew a line between them with the word “housekeeper,” Sejin claimed the role of a protected person, demanding Cheon Sejoo act as his guardian. Therefore, Cheon Sejoo secretly thought Sejin had agreed to the terms of their cohabitation.

But he wondered if that unspoken agreement had been his misconception. Kwon Sejin didn’t seem to put any weight on those rules. Yesterday was the limit. He couldn’t tolerate being praised as a great person when he knew nothing about him. Even if I killed someone for my safety and yours, could you stand before me with such a calm face? The question that rose to his throat couldn’t be uttered, and all he managed to say was “You know nothing.”

What kind of expression did Sejin have when he heard those words? “Then tell me,” facing Sejin, who gave him such a brazen look, Cheon Sejoo was even more speechless. It was because the absurd thought of actually telling him flashed through his mind the moment their eyes met.

Now that he thought about it, it had always been like that when he was with Sejin. No matter how bad his mood was, no matter how unpleasant the day, simply being next to Sejin made him unable to think of anything else. He just wanted to tease Sejin, and he wanted to see him get annoyed and snap back. His hateful reality transformed into nothing when he was next to Sejin. For the year and a half they were together, Cheon Sejoo just laughed thoughtlessly next to Sejin, like an immature older brother.

That’s why he was now afraid of being next to Sejin. He was afraid that a moment would come when he would unconsciously spill his entire past, just by looking into Sejin’s eyes, which stared at him so casually.

“Team Leader.”

As he sighed deeply, a small voice came from the other side of the office. He turned his head to see Haewoong peeking his eyes over the partition, looking at him.

“Why.”

“Just… I was wondering if something happened…”

His voice was so quiet today that the last sentence sounded like “something happened…” Cheon Sejoo raised an eyebrow and replied, “What?” Haewoong quietly bowed his head again and apologized.

“I’m sorry…”

At Haewoong’s sudden apology, Cheon Sejoo realized he was acting emotionally and sat up. Hah, he ran a hand over his face with a short sigh of rising disillusionment, then took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. Haewoong quickly got up and approached him to light his cigarette, and Cheon Sejoo smoked silently with his foot on the table.

Only Haewoong and Cheon Sejoo were in the office. Yoon Cheol-joo was on a business trip, and Seonhyuk and Jinyoung were absent due to the delivery man who had entered the 43rd floor. Thanks to this, Haewoong, who was alone listening to Cheon Sejoo’s sighs, was on pins and needles. It was because Cheon Sejoo, who usually didn’t show his bad mood to his team members, was doing so, making him feel like he had done something wrong.

“Haewoong-ah.”

Cheon Sejoo, who had stubbed out his almost completely burnt cigarette in the ashtray, suddenly called Haewoong’s name. Goo Haewoong startled, throwing his mouse and flinching, then stood up with a slightly tense expression.

“Yes…?”

Although usually gentle and kind, Cheon Sejoo showed no mercy when angry. Haewoong, who had once talked back to Seonhyuk and been severely reprimanded by Cheon Sejoo, was extremely wary when he was in a bad mood. Cheon Sejoo let out a small laugh seeing him hesitate, then rested his chin languidly, smiling.

“I’m not angry, so don’t be like that. I have a question.”

“Ah… What is it?”

If he said that much, there was no fear of trouble falling on him. Haewoong, relieved, gave a wry smile and approached him. He sat on the opposite side of Cheon Sejoo and took out a bag of snacks from the table drawer, tearing it open. Crunch, crunch, Haewoong poured the snacks into his mouth. Watching him, Cheon Sejoo asked, “Why do you work here?”

“…Huh? What? Are you going to send me somewhere else…?”

Haewoong hurriedly wiped his mouth and asked in a submissive posture. Cheon Sejoo found his cautious gaze cute and funny, so he simply smiled and shook his head.

“No, I was just personally curious. Tell me.”

Only then did Haewoong, who had been a bit intimidated, nod and put his legs on the sofa. Sitting cross-legged, munching on snacks, and pondering, he soon shrugged and said, “I’ve always admired this kind of thing, you know.”

“…You went to the police academy, didn’t you?”

“Weren’t you trying to become a police officer?” Cheon Sejoo asked with a frown, and Haewoong waved his hand.

“Right, anyway, listen. I really love noir movies, you see. What I originally wanted to be was a police officer who beats up bad gangsters. But when I went to the police academy, I realized it didn’t really suit me. I couldn’t use my strength in front of civil petitioners, I couldn’t even hit the guys I really wanted to kill, and the faction fights were severe. So I kept wanting to drop out, and then I just happened to get into a fight with a senior, and… I got expelled.”

Haewoong, a person with anger management issues, was someone who couldn’t control his temper. Once he started getting angry, Haewoong would charge at everyone around him like a mad bull. At the freshman orientation, he got into a fight with a senior who was sexually harassing and making unreasonable demands, and he ended up putting him in a coma. As a result, Haewoong was expelled and disowned by his family.