Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 42

Her refusal of treatment followed the same logic. Assuming her death, she didn’t want to burden Sejin with debt, just as Kwon Yongbeom had burdened her, which was why she was refusing the biopsy from the start. But Cheon Sejoo couldn’t stand by and watch Kim Hyunkyung die without doing anything.

“This. Hospital bills, treatment costs, they mean nothing to me. So, get the tests. Anyway, we’ll only know for sure once the biopsy results are in, and there’s a possibility it’s not cancer. You can’t just remain unaware, can you?”

Simply telling her not to worry about hospital bills was useless. All of Cheon Sejoo’s help felt like just another debt to Kim Hyunkyung. If treatment didn’t work and she died, it would be like a shackle of debt passed down to Sejin.

He had to change that mindset. Judging that he needed to make his intentions clear, Cheon Sejoo looked at her and said,

“I don’t expect any compensation for the help I’m offering. I have no intention of telling Sejin to repay it on your behalf, nor do I expect it from you, Ms. Kim Hyunkyung. So, just…”

“Director Cheon.”

A voice, like a great wall that would listen to nothing he said, cut him off. He felt a stubbornness strikingly similar to Sejin’s. As if to prove that she had instilled suspicion and distrust of the world in Sejin, Kim Hyunkyung wasn’t easily accepting unrequited goodwill.

“Why are you so desperate to help us?”

Unlike usual, Cheon Sejoo fell silent at her sharp, thorny question. Kim Hyunkyung was indeed more seasoned than Sejin. Unlike Sejin, who could be easily handled with a carrot and a stick, Kim Hyunkyung, an adult even more so than Cheon Sejoo, was not someone who could be persuaded by mere goodwill and a few words. Knowing that the world wasn’t an easy place, Kim Hyunkyung was someone who wouldn’t allow any help until she understood Cheon Sejoo’s intentions.

That was Kim Hyunkyung’s last shred of pride. Just as Sejin was prepared to be homeless rather than ask Cheon Sejoo for help, Kim Hyunkyung, even facing death, wouldn’t easily accept help from others.

“Why do you keep doing this? You know this has already gone beyond the scope of a ‘light favor,’ Director. Honestly, if you said it was because of me, I’d probably just accept it. But that’s not it for you, is it? So I really don’t understand. Why are you trying so hard?”

Cheon Sejoo felt that her words implied a willingness to accept help if she could only understand his intentions. If so, what should he say to persuade her?

She wouldn’t be convinced by a simple declaration of his affection for Kwon Sejin. He needed to explain to Kim Hyunkyung why he couldn’t help but care for Sejin, and that was a feeling rooted in the past. Cheon Sejoo finally realized that he had to reveal a story hidden deep in his heart. He had to utter Hyein’s name.

“……”

His throat was dry. He swallowed hard, clenched and unclenched his fists, and moistened his lips. But his hesitation didn’t last long. As soon as the memory of yesterday, when Kwon Sejin had wept in his arms with damp cheeks, came to mind, Cheon Sejoo was ready. For Sejin’s sake, he could do this much. Explaining past events was something he could gladly do.

It had been almost five years since he last spoke Hyein’s name. No one, apart from Seok Yoonhyung, had heard him mention Hyein since. So, even though he wanted to reveal the truth, it wasn’t easy to begin.

“I had a younger sister… named Cheon Hyein.”

But once he managed to utter her name, the words flowed naturally, as if he had been waiting for someone to confide in. Cheon Sejoo felt the lock on his heart loosen and began his story.

“She was my only family, the family I thought I’d spend my whole life with.”

From Hyein’s head to her toes, Cheon Sejoo loved everything about her. His only sibling, his sole family, beyond that relationship, Hyein was the direction his life pointed, and the driving force of his existence.

“Hyein… died five years ago. She committed suicide after being bullied by her classmates. She was left alone at home while I was at work, and she couldn’t endure the persistent verbal abuse from her tormentors. She jumped off the rooftop, believing she was a burden to me.”

“……”

A look of sorrow crossed Kim Hyunkyung’s face as she listened. She clasped her hands tightly, her eyes fixed on Cheon Sejoo with a pained gaze. To her, Cheon Sejoo calmly explained what had happened last winter.

“You might not have known, but there were kids at Sejin’s school who were bullying him. It’s all resolved now, so you don’t need to worry about it, and Sejin is resilient like you, so he’s fine now, don’t worry.”

“Ah…”

At his additional words, spoken perhaps to assuage her worry, she sighed and her shoulders drooped. Cheon Sejoo recalled the past and continued.

“While living with Sejin, I acted as his guardian. Ever since the call from Sejin’s homeroom teacher in the middle of winter when he was eighteen.”

He gazed intently at Kim Hyunkyung. The vibrant person he had first met was gone, replaced by a gaunt, bone-thin woman. In her, Cheon Sejoo saw a reflection of his past self.

After Hyein left, Cheon Sejoo too had gone without proper meals for a while. He vaguely remembered losing nearly 10kg and being told he looked like a corpse.

At the same time, Cheon Sejoo looked at Kim Hyunkyung and also thought of Sejin. He saw the image of the child who desperately asked for his help after being unable to contact his mother for a week, and the image of Kim Hyunkyung bowing her head to him to entrust Sejin to his care, overlaid one upon the other.

“I first met Sejin when he was eighteen. He looked exhausted, and he looked like he was struggling.”

Sejin, crouching in the hallway, had seemed significantly smaller than his actual size. Exhausted, struggling… Cheon Sejoo had seen Sejin, curled up with all his might, as a child of only about fourteen.

“Hyein also died when she was eighteen. She waited for me for hours, huddled in a dark apartment hallway, before she passed away. And on the day I first saw Sejin… Sejin was also huddled in exactly that same posture.”

“……”

Cheon Sejoo watched Kim Hyunkyung, who sat speechless, slowly closed and opened his eyes. He had once thought that the day he would tell someone Hyein’s story would surely be a very difficult day. It was because Hyein had left a deep wound and regret in Cheon Sejoo’s heart. But it wasn’t as hard on his mind as he had expected. Rather, after speaking Hyein’s story aloud, his mind calmed down. Cheon Sejoo spoke to Kim Hyunkyung in a quiet voice.

“Now you understand why I keep trying to help you and Sejin, don’t you? Every time I look at Sejin… I think of her. That’s why I can’t bear to see Sejin struggling. No matter how much you dislike it, I will proceed with the treatment. So, please focus on the treatment, thinking only of Sejin. I hope you will.”

Cheon Sejoo knew very well how precious Kwon Sejin was to Kim Hyunkyung. And Sejin, in turn, was precious to him.

“At first, I just wanted to help out of simple goodwill. But now… it’s different.”

“Director…”

Kim Hyunkyung had to live. Only then could Sejin be happy and free of pain when he eventually left his side. That was the only thing Cheon Sejoo wished for.

“Get treatment. You will recover. Absolutely.”

Just as he had resolved when he took Sejin into his home, such an outcome was absolutely necessary to end this long and arduous life.

***** **

Ultimately, persuaded by Cheon Sejoo, Kim Hyunkyung underwent a biopsy. The results, as expected, showed cancer, and it was diagnosed as Stage 3 pancreatic cancer that had not yet metastasized to surrounding organs. Cheon Sejoo had anticipated this since seeing the MRI, but Kwon Sejin appeared greatly shocked. There was a world of difference between being told by the doctor that there was a large tumor that might be cancer, and having it confirmed that it truly was cancer. It was terrible for something he had desperately tried to deny to become reality.

In the end, it was Cheon Sejoo who took care of the dazed Sejin and moved Kim Hyunkyung to the cancer treatment center. While Sejin was unable to accept the reality, Cheon Sejoo handled all the arrangements.

The Cancer Oncology Center at Korea University Hospital was home to some of the country’s leading specialists. Research into targeted therapies for pancreatic cancer was active there, and it boasted the highest five-year survival rate for pancreatic cancer patients in the country. It was there that Kim Hyunkyung began her chemotherapy.

However, contrary to the positive outlook that treatment would make her better, chemotherapy was a grueling ordeal not only for the patient but also for their families. Watching someone endure extreme pain and side effects from various medications was… something that couldn’t be done with a clear mind.

“You, go home!”

Cheon Sejoo, who had arrived at the hospital after several days of handling business, hesitated outside the door, hearing a voice from inside the room. Kim Hyunkyung was yelling at Sejin. To go home, not to stay by her side.

“……”

“Go, Kwon Sejin! Can’t you hear your mother!”

No reply was heard, so Sejin seemed to be pretending not to hear her shouting. It was very characteristic of Kwon Sejin. Cheon Sejoo placed his hand on the doorknob and sighed inwardly.

Summer vacation had long ended. More than a week had passed since school resumed, yet Sejin still hadn’t gone. Of course, Sejin’s position wasn’t entirely incomprehensible. He wouldn’t want to leave Kim Hyunkyung alone in such a situation, and Cheon Sejoo believed that if he were in Sejin’s shoes, he too wouldn’t have gone to school. But he could also completely understand Kim Hyunkyung’s position.

Kim Hyunkyung must have felt immense self-reproach that her son, who had been enjoying his studies, was quitting school to care for her because of her illness. She would have heard precisely from the doctor, who always assumed the worst, what the survival rate for pancreatic cancer was. Therefore, Kim Hyunkyung, who couldn’t help but think of death, couldn’t possibly stand by and watch Sejin, who had a bright future ahead of him, throw his life away because of her, the patient. Perhaps she might even be regretting entering the treatment center now.

In this situation, he was inclined to side with Kim Hyunkyung. While it was partly out of concern for Sejin’s future, like her, Cheon Sejoo was more worried about Sejin pouring all his time, affection, and life into Kim Hyunkyung. He worried that if Kim Hyunkyung were to pass away, Sejin would find it difficult to cope with the emptiness left by the sudden void.

Besides caring for Kim Hyunkyung, Sejin needed a routine. A normal routine that he could maintain, unchanged, no matter what happened to her…

“Director.”

As Cheon Sejoo opened the door and entered, Kim Hyunkyung, with a pale face, called out to him. She had a pain pump attached to her spine and looked utterly exhausted from the chemotherapy that had continued until yesterday. Even though her whole body was swollen, her haggard face made Cheon Sejoo feel even more heartbroken. I’m like this, so how must Kwon Sejin feel? Cheon Sejoo greeted Kim Hyunkyung with a faint smile and then looked at Sejin, who was standing by the window.

Kwon Sejin was wiping the windowsill with a cloth in his hand. He must clean it every day, leaving no speck of dust, yet he was aimlessly passing the time, creating an excuse to stay by Kim Hyunkyung’s side. Though his back was turned, Cheon Sejoo somehow knew what expression Sejin was wearing. Despite his large build, Sejin looked small, like a child. Will there ever be a day when Kwon Sejin looks bigger than me? Cheon Sejoo thought, calling out to him.

“Sejin.”

“…Huh.”

Sejin answered quietly, maintaining the same posture as he gazed out the window. Cheon Sejoo approached him, fumbled in his pocket for his wallet, and pulled out a card. He placed it in Sejin’s hand and said,

“Go get some coffee. I’m dead tired.”

“You could’ve bought it on your way in…”

Sejin pouted and stared at Cheon Sejoo. Seeing the reddish tint around his eyes, Cheon Sejoo chuckled nonchalantly and stroked his head. Kwon Sejin meekly accepted the touch.

“Things someone else buys always taste better.”

“Don’t act like an old man.”

“Hurry up.”

As he ruffled Sejin’s hair, urging him, Sejin looked at him with a sullen expression and then turned. Sejin was about to ask his mother if she wanted anything to drink, but realizing she was fasting, he left the room without a word. As soon as the room door closed, Kim Hyunkyung sighed.

“Who does he take after, to be so stubborn? Who else? Me, of course…”

Having instantly answered her own question, she ran a hand through her disheveled hair and leaned back against the bed. She shifted a few times, perhaps bothered by the pain pump attached to her spine, then lay on her side, looking at Cheon Sejoo by the window, and spoke.

“Director. Please make Sejin go to school. I can still move around on my own, so he doesn’t necessarily need to be here.”

“I was planning to do that anyway. Even if Sejin helps, things like bathing will be difficult for you.”

“Exactly. Ha, he’s so annoying, even though he’s no help. I think I feel even sicker because of him.”

At Kim Hyunkyung’s playful words, Cheon Sejoo subtly curled the corners of his lips. He sat down in the chair by the window. Kim Hyunkyung blinked tiredly and spoke in an exhausted voice.

“Sejin really likes you, Director. He usually dislikes most men.”

“Me?”

Cheon Sejoo frowned and chuckled, as if disbelieving. Then, Kim Hyunkyung adjusted her position, asking, “You didn’t know?” and proceeded to explain what Sejin had been doing during the two days Cheon Sejoo hadn’t been able to visit.

“How much he likes you! He ordered a guardian’s meal and was eating with me when he suddenly said, ‘Cheon Sejoo likes this too!’ and started explaining what side dishes you like, and I was just like, ‘What am I supposed to do with that?’ And last night, when he hadn’t heard from you, he asked me if it annoyed me to get calls during work, honestly. I was so speechless, when did he ever care about things like that?”

Why would he explain his favorite side dishes to his mother? Cheon Sejoo also chuckled, listening to Kim Hyunkyung’s words in disbelief.

“Anyway, Director, if something happens to me…”

“Please don’t say such things. The doctors treating Kim Hyunkyung are all top medical professionals in the country. Making such assumptions and thinking like that isn’t good for treatment. Don’t think negative thoughts.”

Then, Kim Hyunkyung suddenly lowered her voice, and Cheon Sejoo cut her off. He didn’t want to hear such things from Kim Hyunkyung. He didn’t want to imagine a future where Sejin would be unhappy. At that, Kim Hyunkyung simply smiled and waved her hand.

“Oh, come on, I know. I’m already thinking of being discharged and sending Sejin to the military, you know. I’m just telling you this so you’re aware.”

But Kim Hyunkyung was Kim Hyunkyung. The mother of Kwon Sejin, the incarnation of stubbornness. As if she had to say what she wanted regardless of what he said, Kim Hyunkyung finally confided in him.

“All my other insurance policies were canceled because of that human, Kwon Yongbeom, but I did get a new death insurance policy. I took it out through someone I knew not long after I went to Ihwagak. It’s only 30,000 won a month, so the payout is only 100 million won, but that should be enough for Sejin to get a place to live alone… Please take care of that for me.”

“There’s no need to take care of that money, because there’s no dying involved.”

“The insurance company is Seoil, and Sejin is designated as the beneficiary. But what if that bastard Kwon Yongbeom hears about it somewhere and tries to take it? Please make sure Sejin receives it. If Kwon Yongbeom really shows up, you can even hit him a little, Chief…”

The more he listened, the more absurd it became. Cheon Sejoo chuckled at Kim Hyunkyung, who was subtly revealing her wishes. Soon, he nodded as if he had no choice.

“Understood. If I happen to run into him, I’ll make sure he can’t act like a human being.”

At his words, Kim Hyunkyung burst out laughing as if it were funny. And then, drrrk… The hospital room door burst open, and Sejin appeared. Sejin, whose face was much more sullen than when he left, glared at Cheon Sejoo and his mother, alternating his gaze between them.

“What’s so funny?”

“We’re talking bad about you.”

“……”

At his pouting question, Cheon Sejoo, still with a trace of a smile, replied evasively. Sejin’s face instantly returned to one filled with dissatisfaction, and he puffed out his cheeks. With his lips downturned and one cheek bulging, he glared at Cheon Sejoo, then scoffed and approached him, offering him coffee. Sejin then took out a paper cup from the carrier and placed it on the table beside Kim Hyunkyung’s bed.

“It’s some kind of ‘rooibori’ tea? Something like that. You can drink it after it cools, so drink it tomorrow after your fast is over.”

“It’s ‘rooibos’.”

“Same difference!”

At Cheon Sejoo’s correction, Sejin flushed and shouted. Kim Hyunkyung looked at her child with a face that wondered, How can he be so foolish, and who does he take after?, then sighed, realizing once again that he was exactly like her.

Sejin pouted his lips in dissatisfaction and sat down next to Cheon Sejoo. He snuggled close to him and took out his own drink, a plastic cup twice the size of Cheon Sejoo’s, filled with a shake that looked like a mixture of various toppings and sauces.

It looked incredibly high-calorie at first glance, but Sejin had been craving things like that lately, even after drinking two of them in a row. Cheon Sejoo slowly drank his coffee, wondering if Sejin would grow even taller, and tried to gauge his eye level.

After their short tea time, as night fell, the lights in the ward began to dim. Cheon Sejoo had come from his workshop late, so dinner time had long passed. Patients usually went to bed early and woke up early, so it was time to go home.

“Let’s go.”

“I’m going to sleep here.”

At the suggestion to go home, Sejin replied as if he had been waiting. Seeing him, Kim Hyunkyung exchanged glances with Cheon Sejoo as if to say, Look at him. Until now, she had let Sejin do as he pleased, but now Cheon Sejoo thought he needed to bring him back to his routine, so he decided to agree with Kim Hyunkyung. Knowing that Sejin would inevitably put up a fight if he brought up the topic of a caregiver directly, Cheon Sejoo, thinking he first needed to get Sejin out of the hospital, gazed at him and opened his mouth.

“Come with me. I can’t sleep without you.”

“……”

At the sudden words, Sejin’s eyes widened as he looked at Cheon Sejoo. Feeling that Sejin’s sullen face seemed to be tinged with a blush, he continued.

“Just thinking about your mock test scores, I feel like I should tie you up at home and make you study, but since I can’t do that, I can’t sleep. Go home and get your workbooks or something; sleep at home today.”

“……”

At the continued words, Sejin closed his mouth with a frustrated expression. He clenched the cup holding his drink so hard that the shake overflowed onto the straw. Licking it off, Sejin glared at Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo urged him.

“Get up quickly. Kim Hyunkyung doesn’t have a schedule tomorrow anyway, so you can leave for a bit, can’t you?”

“Yeah. Go on, go. You’re bothering me to death.”

Kim Hyunkyung chimed in, agreeing with Cheon Sejoo. Sejin looked at the two of them, who were perfectly in sync, then sighed and got up. Knowing that Kim Hyunkyung didn’t like him just wasting time in the hospital room, he planned to bring his workbooks and pretend to study, just as she said. Sejin went into the bathroom and collected his laundry pile and his belongings. Before leaving the room with Cheon Sejoo, he repeatedly exhorted Kim Hyunkyung.

“Mom, if anything happens, call me right away.”

“Chief, drive safely on your way home.”

“Yes, rest well.”

“Make sure you call!”

“Ah, okay.”

Leaving Kim Hyunkyung, who waved her hand as if annoyed, Sejin closed the hospital room door. His steps felt heavy. However, conscious of Cheon Sejoo standing beside him, Sejin tried to move forward. Until then, Sejin had stayed by Kim Hyunkyung’s side by visiting home during the day to do chores and then returning to the hospital, so walking side by side with Cheon Sejoo like this felt awkward.

Late at night, in the empty elevator, Sejin licked his lips, looking at the back of the man who stood a little ahead of him. Cheon Sejoo, whom he hadn’t seen in a while, was still handsome, even from behind. With his gaze fixed on Cheon Sejoo’s smooth nape, Sejin thought he wanted to touch him.

“Hey.”

Just then, Sejin snapped back to reality at the sudden, casual address. The elevator doors had opened wide, revealing the underground parking lot, having arrived at some unknown moment.

“Aren’t you getting off?”

Sejin frowned at Cheon Sejoo’s question, then replied, “Coming,” and followed him out of the elevator. Chasing after Cheon Sejoo, who was carrying a lot of luggage and walking towards the car, a sudden unpleasant feeling made him puff out his cheeks. Why “hey” when I have a perfectly good name? The thought suddenly struck him. Sejin didn’t hesitate and spoke to Cheon Sejoo.

“Don’t call me ‘hey’.”

Cheon Sejoo, who had been followed closely by Sejin, turned his head and looked at him as if asking what he was talking about. Gazing at his handsome, tired face, Sejin said again.

“Don’t call me ‘hey’. I call you by your name, Cheon Sejoo, so why do you do that?”

“……”

Cheon Sejoo, who was opening the back seat door to load the luggage, turned to him with a bewildered expression. He blinked slowly, then took the laundry bag from Sejin’s arms and asked.

“Don’t you think that’s the problem?”

“What? What’s the problem?”

“Don’t you think it’s wrong for someone who’s barely out of diapers to call his hyung ‘Cheon Sejoo, Cheon Sejoo’? Get in.”

He loaded the laundry bag, closed the door, then opened the passenger door and gently pushed Sejin inside. Crumpling into the seat at his touch, Sejin sat with a sullen face, and as soon as Cheon Sejoo settled into the driver’s seat, he retorted.

“What’s wrong with calling a name that’s meant to be called?”

“Right… Kwon Sejin.”

“Don’t joke around.”

“What joke? I’m calling you that because your mindset is like a Westerner’s.”

“……”

Sejin pouted and puffed out his cheeks. He was a kid even bigger than him now, but doing that made him look cute. Cheon Sejoo erased the absurd thought of wanting to bite those cheeks and reversed the car. While he was paying at the parking lot entrance machine, Sejin, who hadn’t given up, said to him.

“Anyway, don’t call me ‘hey’. It makes me feel bad.”

“Oh, really. You felt bad because I called you ‘hey’?”