Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 41

Some time passed, and Cheon Sejoo had Kim Donggil send a text message to Han Jiwon. Han Jiwon seemed puzzled by Kim Donggil’s sudden message, saying Kim Hyunkyung could be moved to another location, but her concern for Kim Hyunkyung outweighed her curiosity, so she didn’t press for details.

Two hours later, Ha Yeoreum called Cheon Sejoo again. Upon receiving her call, Cheon Sejoo immediately arranged for a private ambulance to transfer Kim Hyunkyung to Hankook University Hospital.

Another hour later, Kim Hyunkyung, who had yet to regain consciousness, was loaded into the ambulance with an IV drip, and Sejin took a seat beside her. As time passed, Sejin couldn’t hide his pale complexion and was extremely anxious.

“Aren’t you coming with us?” Sejin asked, grabbing Cheon Sejoo’s lapel just before the ambulance door closed. Cheon Sejoo looked down at the white, trembling fingertips, then raised his arm and placed his hand over Sejin’s. He held Sejin’s gaze with a firm grip.

“I’ll follow in my car. You go ahead. You’ll be escorted directly to the hospital room when you arrive.”

“…Okay.”

Reassured by his voice, Sejin nodded weakly and released his grip. Cheon Sejoo reached out and stroked his head, then closed the back door of the ambulance. Soon, with the siren wailing, the ambulance carrying Kim Hyunkyung and Sejin departed for Hankook University Hospital.

Cheon Sejoo also returned to the parking lot and got into his car. With a hardened, expressionless face, he pressed the accelerator, driving towards a hospital whose appearance he could barely recall anymore.

By the time he parked his car, a message had arrived from Sejin. Feeling relieved to hear they had immediately been assigned a private room and were completing admission procedures, he went up to the 17th floor where the room was located.

The hospital corridor was quiet but bustling. Patients and guardians chatted softly as they walked, and nurses pushed carts, moving to and from rooms. Cheon Sejoo followed the room number Sejin had given him. Finally, when he arrived at the door of room 1701, he heard voices inside. It seemed medical staff were present. Taking a deep breath, just in case he ran into a familiar face, he opened the door.

“We need to get an ultrasound for this.”

Inside, an examination was well underway. Fortunately, the professor seemed to be a recent appointee whom Cheon Sejoo didn’t recognize, and he immediately grasped the seriousness of the patient’s condition.

The professor, who had been palpating the abdomen of the sleeping Kim Hyunkyung, tilted his head. He felt the area around her organs a few more times, then turned to Cheon Sejoo, who had just entered, and said, “Are you the guardian? The student of Professor Kim Cheonggeun from thoracic surgery…”

It seemed Professor Kim Cheonggeun, the head of thoracic surgery, had been contacted. “Yes,” Cheon Sejoo nodded, and the professor pointed at Kim Hyunkyung.

“We probably need to get a scan to know for sure. How about we do an ultrasound first?”

“I’d like to proceed directly with an MRI.”

“Ah, okay. Then I’ll have them check the schedule for that first. The head of the department told me to take very good care of her. You’ll hear back soon.”

“…Thank you.”

It had been a long time since he’d heard the name Kim Cheonggeun. What would the professor, who had been out of contact, think hearing his name from someone else’s mouth? Cheon Sejoo brushed away the unsettling thoughts.

After the doctor left, silence descended upon the room. Sejin stood silently by the bed. His eyes were red, as if he had cried during their brief separation. Cheon Sejoo watched Sejin, then stroked his head and left the room.

Stepping into the hallway, he sat on a chair directly in front of the hospital room. Resting his elbows on his knees, he clasped his hands as if in prayer and closed his eyes.

Having grown up in a Catholic orphanage, Cheon Sejoo was a devout Catholic until he joined the organization. Despite being gay, Sister Maria, who had noticed his uniqueness early on, told him that the Lord loved all His children and even cherished their flaws, allowing him to maintain his faith and serve the Lord.

However, after joining the organization, he could no longer bring himself to pray. The last time Cheon Sejoo prayed was the day Hye-in’s body burned. As she turned to ashes and vanished, Cheon Sejoo earnestly wished and hoped that Hye-in would no longer suffer, no longer feel lonely.

Many years had passed since that day, and today, Cheon Sejoo clasped his hands again after a long time. Silently, he prayed that Sejin would not be broken by what was to come.

“Cheon Sejoo.”

About an hour later, Sejin emerged from the hospital room. Still with reddish eyes, Sejin approached Cheon Sejoo and sat down right beside him. Their legs touched, and Sejin, leaning his back against the wall, looked at Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo met his gaze silently. To quell the anxiety that had settled within Sejin, he silently took Sejin’s hand, telling himself it would be alright.

Slowly, with a weary gaze, Sejin scanned Cheon Sejoo, then finally opened his mouth after a long pause. His voice sounded somewhat subdued.

“You… went to medical school?”

He hadn’t missed the mention of Professor Kim Cheonggeun’s student. Surprised by Sejin’s unexpectedly quick perception, Cheon Sejoo leaned his back against the wall, just like Sejin, and nodded.

“Yes.”

“…Really? Are you a doctor? Do you have a license?”

Sejin’s eyes widened. There was a time when he had wanted Sejin to be surprised by the fact that he went to medical school. But perhaps because of the current situation, his surprise wasn’t very pleasant. Cheon Sejoo answered in a gentle voice.

“Hyung graduated at the top of his class from Hankook University Medical School.”

“…”

Sejin’s red lips parted in shock, and his pretty eyes tilted upwards in disbelief. Sejin straightened up and looked Cheon Sejoo up and down, then muttered as if it were absurd.

“It doesn’t suit you…”

“Why? Do you think I should be an actor, not a doctor?”

“…”

At his composed question, Sejin frowned and closed his mouth. He stretched his lips into a dissatisfied expression, looking at him, then finally let out a weak sigh and nodded.

“Yeah. You look like an actor playing a doctor.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Cheon Sejoo chuckled in exasperation. Sejin also seemed to find his own words amusing, letting his lips curl up soundlessly before his face turned expressionless and he lowered his head. The brief conversation ended, and the two were left in silence. Those who foresaw approaching misfortune dared not speak lightly.

At least Sejin’s situation was better than Cheon Sejoo’s. Unlike Cheon Sejoo, who knew when Kim Hyunkyung had started experiencing abdominal pain, Sejin only knew that Kim Hyunkyung had collapsed due to excessive dieting and that she had become excessively thin recently.

Therefore, Sejin’s worries were limited to hospital bills. Not knowing that Cheon Sejoo had paid off his mother’s debt, he worried about her bleak future, returning to Hwa-gak burdened with more hospital debt.

“I don’t know why we’re in a private room. The hospital bill will be so high…”

“Don’t worry about that.”

Cheon Sejoo soothed him gently. His rough hand, now smaller than Kwon Sejin’s, settled on his head. Just like one night, when he had eased a sudden growth spurt, he stroked Sejin with warm affection.

“You don’t have to worry about such things.”

Cheon Sejoo’s soft voice carried a power to calm people. With Cheon Sejoo, it felt like everything would be okay. He shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have been so foolishly carefree at a time like this, but Sejin closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the man sitting beside him.

Fortunately, there was an open slot, so Kim Hyunkyung was able to get an MRI that evening. A contrast agent was administered to her, and the MRI scan was completed before she was even fully aware of what was happening, hazy from the medication.

“Mom, Mom!”

While the results were being checked inside, Kim Hyunkyung, who had been moved to a gurney, was wheeled out of the scanning room. Sejin, who had been waiting in a chair, quickly stood up and followed her. Watching Sejin disappear down the hallway, trailing Kim Hyunkyung’s bed as she struggled to fully regain consciousness, Cheon Sejoo got up and paced the corridor in front of the Radiology Department.

“Sejoo.”

A moment later, someone opened the door to the interpretation room and called his name. He turned his head to see Kim Joowon, his senior who worked as a radiologist at Hankook University Hospital, standing there with a faint smile.

“Want to come in and take a look?”

“Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, you’re the guardian. It’s fine.”

Kim Joowon, who had been part of the Catholic club at Hankook University Medical School with Cheon Sejoo and Ha Yeoreum, wasn’t exactly thrilled to see Cheon Sejoo, but he wasn’t uncomfortable either. With a look that suggested he understood him to some extent, Kim Joowon’s eyes showed pity. He had heard from Yeoreum that the patient was close to Cheon Sejoo. So, after interpreting the images, he decided to call Cheon Sejoo to inform him first.

Stepping inside, Cheon Sejoo saw a fellow doctor undergoing the radiology specialist program. He gave her a polite nod as she looked at him curiously, then went to stand next to Kim Joowon.

“Look, if you start from here… The heart and lungs are clear.”

The MRI images of Kim Hyunkyung’s body filled the screen. Although not a radiology specialist, Cheon Sejoo could roughly make sense of it. As Kim Joowon said, her brain, heart, and lungs were clear of any lesions. But the organ Kim Joowon pointed to with his mouse was different.

“See? It’s the pancreas.”

There were several round lesions visible on the pancreas. From their shape, they appeared to be tumors. Cheon Sejoo bit his lip, staring at the screen. Kim Joowon’s voice, explaining Kim Hyunkyung’s condition, faded into a distant blur.

The pancreas was located among other abdominal organs, making problems difficult to detect. This was due to its hard-to-reach position for ultrasound, and also because it’s an organ that often shows no significant symptoms as tumors grow and the disease progresses. Thus, the belatedly discovered tumor was considerably large. If it was a malignant tumor, cancer, it was at least stage 3. It had to be considered a difficult condition to treat.

“We’ll know for sure after a biopsy, but if something like that is attached to the pancreas, it’s usually… You know, Sejoo?”

“…Yes. Thank you, Senior.”

“No, don’t mention thanks. I’m going to the patient now, are you coming?”

“No, I’ll just…”

The words that usually came easily did not follow. Cheon Sejoo’s face hardened coldly, and he closed his mouth, running a hand over his face. As if understanding his feelings, Kim Joowon smiled bitterly, patted his shoulder, and left the interpretation room. The fellow doctor, glancing at him sitting in the chair, also followed Kim Joowon out, and Cheon Sejoo was soon left alone in the large room. Tick-tock, he heard the clock turning, but time didn’t seem to flow.

He stared blankly at the monitor, then his eyes contorted, and he buried his face in his hands.

It was somewhat expected, but seeing it confirmed was a huge shock. It wasn’t just the problem of someone he knew being sick. It felt as if all of it was his fault. Cheon Sejoo became buried in faint memories of the past.

Hye-in’s death was due to Cheon Sejoo’s greed. If he hadn’t taken Hye-in out of the orphanage for his own selfish desires and left her alone in that house, she wouldn’t have been pushed to such a brink. If she had stayed at the orphanage, she would have received care from Maria and the nuns there, and she could have lived happily until now without suffering emotional abuse from her abusers at a young age.

In contrast, strictly speaking, Kim Hyunkyung’s misfortune was not Cheon Sejoo’s fault. However, Cheon Sejoo, who cherished Sejin, felt a sense of responsibility for the misfortune Sejin would face.

This was because if he had paid more attention to Kim Hyunkyung, he might not have missed the signs of her illness. Cheon Sejoo couldn’t help but regret it.

“Why…”

Why Sejin of all people? Why Kim Hyunkyung of all people? They were trying to live diligently. They were trying to live diligently, regardless of their misfortunes. Why did something like this happen to these people of all people?

The inside of his tightly closed eyelids was hot. If he let down his guard, tears would burst forth. He couldn’t face Sejin. He couldn’t confidently tell Sejin, upon hearing this news, to be strong as if nothing was wrong.

Could there be another imbecile like this in the world? Cheon Sejoo sneered at himself and rose from his seat. With staggering steps, he left the interpretation room and headed for the hospital’s rooftop.

From the rooftop of Hankook University Hospital, located in the city center, the dark city stretched out before him. The city, full of red crosses, was like a giant tomb itself. From it, a hot tropical night breeze, as if risen from hell, blew. In that heat, Cheon Sejoo blamed himself.

When he first heard that Kim Hyunkyung had collapsed, what if he hadn’t hidden the fact from Sejin, as she had asked? What if he hadn’t just accepted her saying she was on a diet and had found it strange, or if he had dragged her to the hospital even once? What if he hadn’t thought Kim Hyunkyung, who was continuously losing weight, was just overdoing it, and had recognized that something was wrong with her health? What if he had noticed the intention behind Kim Hyunkyung wearing makeup even on her days off whenever he went to Hwa-gak…?

All those signs, looking back now, were blatant enough that he could have easily noticed something was wrong if he had paid just a little more attention to her. Why hadn’t he known this? He felt like he was going crazy.

It was the same when he lost Hye-in. Cheon Sejoo had only looked forward for her sake, not realizing what changes were happening to her, and it was the same this time. Kim Hyunkyung’s existence was essential for Sejin’s happiness, but he felt foolish for being indifferent to Kim Hyunkyung’s changes while only looking at Sejin.

His chest ached and tightened. He felt so suffocated that he had the urge to cut open his stomach with a knife and pull out everything inside. Cheon Sejoo pressed the area around his chest with an expressionless face and took a deep breath.

What woke him from being buried in regret for a long time was the vibration of his phone ringing inside his jacket. Cheon Sejoo realized Sejin was calling him and came to his senses. Looking down at the screen, he saw two missed calls from him.

“…Yeah.”

– Where are you?

Sejin’s voice, asking for his location, was calmer than he expected. Had he not heard the news yet? Cheon Sejoo raised his right hand and checked the time. Enough time had passed for Kim Joowon to have explained the situation to them. Cheon Sejoo turned, thinking that Sejin was holding himself back. Realizing that Sejin was looking for him, not his mother, in that state, he slowly started to walk. Sejin needed him.

“Rooftop. I’ll be there soon.”

– Come quickly…

“…Just wait a little.”

He heard a small “Okay” in response. Cheon Sejoo hung up and went down the stairs. Arriving at the 17th floor and entering the hallway, he saw Sejin sitting outside the hospital room.

Kwon Sejin was dressed the same way he had been when he left home earlier that day: a white short-sleeved T-shirt and black shorts. Sejin sat in a chair, wearing the new sneakers he’d bought recently after his feet grew, his expression as unreadable as ever. As he gazed blankly at the floor, he almost seemed as though he hadn’t yet heard the news from Kim Joowon. Had he perhaps visited another patient’s room first and heard nothing? Cheon Sejoo approached Sejin with this thought, but it was a premature judgment.

As Sejin heard Cheon Sejoo’s footsteps and raised his head, his expression instantly crumbled. His indifferent eyes grew moist, and his eyebrows arched into a troubled frown. His bright red lips were covered with teeth marks. Sejin looked up at Cheon Sejoo and called his name in a voice full of resentment.

“Cheon Sejoo.”

His voice trembled thinly, as if he was about to burst into tears.

“Where have you been? Why are you only coming now?”

Sejin buried his face in the chest of the man standing before him. Large arms wrapped around his waist. Cheon Sejoo, frozen stiff, stood there, unable to push away Sejin, who clung to him like a child.

The lingering heat in Seju’s body, combined with Sejin’s warmth, made him feel as though his insides were burning. Each falling drop, like ash, was guilt leaving an indelible scar on his heart.

“Mom is really sick… She’s really, really sick…”

Sejin’s lips trembled with his monologue.

“I know too. Your mother collapsed a few months ago. But Sejin, I just brushed it off. If I had thought about it a little more, things wouldn’t have come to this. I believed your mother when she said she was fine, and I just brushed everything off…”

But the words that needed to be spoken remained trapped in his mouth, festering.

“What should I do?”

The shirt against which Sejin pressed his cheek grew damp. Kwon Sejin, as if utterly lost, rubbed his face against Seju’s chest, shaking his head.

“You tell me… I don’t know anything…”

His frail voice tore at Cheon Sejoo’s heart.

He couldn’t bring himself to tell him. He couldn’t confess. He couldn’t admit that he had missed his chance.

“She’ll be treated. …It’s not too late, not at all.”

He didn’t want Kwon Sejin to hate him. He wanted to remain a good person to Sejin, to him more than anyone. Cheon Sejoo averted his gaze from the nagging guilt and embraced Sejin’s desperate warmth without resistance. Holding him close, he just whispered “it’ll be okay” over and over.

***** **

Sejin quickly accepted the misfortune. After shedding tears in Cheon Sejoo’s arms until the hallway lights went out, Sejin began searching for information about pancreatic tumors the very next day. The problem, however, was none other than Kim Hyunkyung. She seemed to have vaguely sensed her own condition and wasn’t showing a positive attitude toward treatment.

“I just want to be discharged.”

Those were Kim Hyunkyung’s first words upon seeing the doctor on rounds. Hearing this, Sejin glared fiercely at her and yelled at her not to say such things, but Kim Hyunkyung was unyielding.

“I can endure it. I don’t want treatment. Please let me be discharged.”

“What on earth is wrong with you!”

The perplexed oncologist looked back at Cheon Sejoo. It was because he recognized him as the guardian, not Sejin, who, despite his height, still looked like a student. Cheon Sejoo looked from Kim Hyunkyung to Sejin, then shook his head at the doctor and said,

“She will undergo a biopsy, and if it’s cancer… she will go to the center for treatment.”

“Director!”

At his resolute voice, this time it was Kim Hyunkyung who shouted. The patient’s will was paramount, but judging that some time was needed, the doctor simply instructed the nurse to arrange blood tests, PET scans, and other examinations before leaving.

After the doctor left the room, Cheon Sejoo turned to find Kim Hyunkyung wearing a rigid expression he had never seen before. He looked at her, her lips tightly shut as if she were angry, then spoke to Sejin.

“Kwon Sejin, step outside for a moment.”

“I…!”

“Sejin.”

Sejin, who had been about to vent his anger at Kim Hyunkyung, frowned and resisted but ultimately couldn’t overcome Cheon Sejoo’s low call. After Sejin went out into the hallway and the sliding door closed completely, Cheon Sejoo finally moved. He pulled a chair from by the window and sat down next to the patient’s bed. Immediately, Kim Hyunkyung fixed her gaze on him. Meeting her gaze, Cheon Sejoo spoke in a firm voice.

“Get the tests, and get the treatment.”

“It’s not something for the Director to worry about. I’m truly grateful for your care of Sejin, but this is my business. It’s not for the Director to dictate.”

Kwon Sejin was exactly like his mother. In appearance and even in personality. So, Kim Hyunkyung was just as stubborn as Sejin. Even with her haggard, thin face, it was clear she wouldn’t easily yield. Cheon Sejoo stared at Kim Hyunkyung intently and asked,

“Is it because of money?”

He wasn’t unaware of her feelings about refusing treatment. As a child, Cheon Sejoo was also familiar with poverty. It wasn’t difficult for him to glimpse the mindset of those mired in poverty.

What frightens the impoverished isn’t impending death. The prospect of accumulating debt while struggling to live was more despairing than death itself for them. Moreover, the doctor had mentioned the size of the tumor and hinted at the possibility of cancer, so Kim Hyunkyung couldn’t help but think about the aftermath of her eventual death if she underwent treatment. She must have concluded that it would be better to simply suffer and die than for Sejin to bear the treatment costs. For her, death was preferable to poverty.

“If that’s your concern, then the treatment costs will be covered as part of staff welfare at Hwahak.”

**Cheon Sejoo uttered a lie with a placid expression. He didn’t want to burden her with debt. Not only would it not help with the treatment, but if she was as stubborn as Sejin, there was a high chance she would staunchly refuse treatment if he offered help. **

“So, don’t worry about that…”

“Director, do you take me for a fool?”

However, Kim Hyunkyung was not a child like Sejin. Kim Hyunkyung knew too much to be deceived by a few words.

She cut off Cheon Sejoo, met his gaze, and spoke.

“This is Korea University Hospital, isn’t it? I know that my being here is already thanks to your consideration. I know that according to protocol, I shouldn’t have been able to leave the vicinity of Hwahak. Unlike other employees, people who joined Hwahak because of debt have many restrictions on their actions. Even if they’re sick, work comes before treatment, and it’s better not to get sick at all—do you know how many times I heard that there? So don’t tell me such ridiculous lies.”

“……”

At Kim Hyunkyung’s bitter voice, Cheon Sejoo lowered his eyes.

She had lived her entire married life repaying her husband’s debts. What made her desperate was Sejin’s existence. Kim Hyunkyung was striving to resolve their debts because she didn’t want to pass them on to Sejin.