Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 26

“I couldn’t tell you because I was afraid I’d get scolded…”

It was awkward to confess that he couldn’t tell the truth for fear of straining his relationship with Cheon Sejoo. After the brief explanation, Sejin closed his mouth. In the dark city, he focused all his attention on Cheon Sejoo’s reaction, looking down at the road where streetlights and car lights flowed like a galaxy.

“…”

Cheon Sejoo, who had unknowingly smiled at the fact that he wasn’t the only one who felt close to Sejin, and that Sejin had finally confided in him, fell into deep thought after hearing Sejin’s story.

A dream. He had once asked Sejin about his dream. Sejin hadn’t answered then, but what he had just said could be considered an explanation of Sejin’s dream. A dream wasn’t something grand. It was what he wanted to have, what he wanted to be, the daily life he wanted to enjoy. Those things combined to form a dream.

It was the same for Cheon Sejoo. He encountered things he hadn’t known while living in the orphanage when he went to college, which allowed him to dream more specifically. The desire to give Hyein good food, good clothes, and a good home all stemmed from Cheon Sejoo’s experiences.

The fact that what he was giving Sejin was stirring his ambitions pleased Cheon Sejoo.

Because those are the things that make life worth living. They say you remember unfulfilled things before you die. The more things Sejin wanted to have and do, the more he would desire life in the face of a crisis that might one day come.

Thinking that way, the empty corner of his heart felt tightly filled. The disappointment he had felt towards Sejin had vanished without a trace.

“Then let’s do this.”

A warm house with sunlight. Sejin’s dream was still small and modest, but in truth, such ordinary things were the hardest to achieve. To find such a house in Seoul, as Sejin said, he really had to save money diligently. Just a part-time job wasn’t enough.

However, he couldn’t tell him to work at the restaurant again. While it was tough, the part about someone touching his butt deeply bothered him. The lives of beautiful people with nothing were easily jeopardized by those in power. Cheon Sejoo didn’t want to throw Sejin into a place where such powerful people came and went without ceasing.

“If you need money, I’ll give it to you.” 

“…Are you joking?”

So, at the words Cheon Sejoo uttered after much thought, Sejin’s voice rose.

He had just poured out his heart, and all Cheon Sejoo said was that he would give him money. Was he treating him like a beggar? This wasn’t what he had confessed for; he didn’t want charity. Anger flared up in Sejin, and he glared fiercely at Cheon Sejoo.

Cheon Sejoo shook his head as if to say, “Listen,” and explained,

“If I say this, you’ll probably shout at me for treating you like a beggar, but your initial calculation was wrong. To put it simply, you’re a live-in housekeeper, so it’s only right that I pay you. You’re not doing chores in exchange for staying at our house; you’re supposed to be receiving a salary as a live-in housekeeper.” 

“What…?”

Sejin’s face crumpled in disbelief. But to Cheon Sejoo, it wasn’t preposterous at all. In fact, he felt foolish for not having thought of it sooner.

A live-in housekeeper’s monthly salary exceeded 3 million won. While Sejin didn’t sweep, mop, and polish the house every day as much as they did, the entire house had become cleaner since Sejin arrived. Sejin deserved to be paid.

“You only work about 4 hours a day at your part-time job. Even if the hourly wage is 10,000 won…” 

“It’s 12,000 won.” 

“…Right, 12,000 won.”

Cheon Sejoo looked askance at Sejin, who was only precise about calculations in situations like these, and continued,

“It’s only 48,000 won a day. Roughly 250,000 won a week, and a little over 1 million won a month. But if you work as a housekeeper in someone else’s house, even commuting, you’d earn over 2 million. Of course, you’re not doing housework all day at our house, so I can’t pay you the same, but instead, I’ll give you double what you earn from your part-time job. On the condition that you listen to me well and study hard during the vacation.” 

“…”

Sejin looked at Cheon Sejoo with a peculiar expression. His eyes were narrowed, and one cheek was puffed out, his lips mumbling as if he had a lot to say. Seeing his face, Cheon Sejoo sighed. Sejin simply wouldn’t readily accept good things that came his way. When others would nod and accept, he would always suspect and question.

Cheon Sejoo truly disliked that. He resented Sejin’s upbringing that had no choice but to make a 19-year-old child like that.

“What’s the problem now?”

If he were in Kwon Sejin’s shoes, he would have answered “Okay” long ago and asked how many hours he needed to study. And at his retort, Sejin narrowed his eyes and asked,

“Are you a psychopath?” 

“What?” 

“Think about it.” 

“…”

Cheon Sejoo, who never expected to be told to “think about it” by an idiot who ranked 21st out of 21 students, closed his mouth in disbelief and turned to Sejin. Looking at him, Sejin sighed and said,

“Think about it from your perspective. Some gangster-like person suddenly appears and says they’ll help me, they’ll let me stay at their house, feed me, drive me to school if the timing is right, and even help me with my studies, and then they say they’ll even give me money if I study hard! How can I not suspect this? Doesn’t it look suspicious to anyone? It’s not weird that I’m wondering what your hidden agenda is; if there’s some idiot who just accepts this without question, wouldn’t that person be the fool?”

Cheon Sejoo listened to Sejin and only then thought about it objectively. Indeed, viewed in isolation, it was truly suspicious. As Sejin said, one should suspect multi-level marketing, fraud, or human trafficking.

However, Cheon Sejoo knew the background behind his excessive generosity towards Sejin. Because of that, he only wondered, Why, isn’t it perfectly acceptable? He explained defensively,

“That person is your guardian. The primary example of a guardian is a parent. Think about your mother. She fed you, housed you, educated you, and even gave you pocket money. How is this any different? Don’t you think this is something I should naturally do?”

Seju’s reply sounded plausible again. But it was just plausible; no matter how much Sejin thought about it, he couldn’t easily accept it.

“Even so, you’re not my parent. Even my mom doesn’t do that. I’ve hardly ever gotten pocket money. No matter what, you and I don’t share a single drop of blood, so giving me money, does that even make sense?”

“Why wouldn’t it make sense? You’re not just taking the money and eating it; you clean the house, cook, and do laundry. Why wouldn’t it make sense?”

“How much housework do I even do?”

As Sejin wouldn’t easily accept, Seju’s frustration gradually mounted. He sighed briefly, raking a hand through his hair as he looked at Sejin. Then, with a stubborn face, he retorted,

“Are you disparaging the abilities of the 300,000 live-in household helpers in South Korea right now? Are you saying that just doing housework isn’t worth that much money?”

“What? When did I say that!”

As Sejoo started being unreasonable, Sejin yelled in annoyance. Only then, thinking about it calmly, did he realize Sejoo was right. For Sejin, cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning at home were natural things. He had always done those tasks when he lived with his mom.

But as he had just said himself, Sejoo wasn’t his family. If he provided his labor power to him for free, it would be entirely his loss, and it would be no different from devaluing the worth of people who worked in restaurants, laundries, or cleaning services. The more people who provided labor for free like him, the more the original workers would suffer!

Having grasped that astonishing truth, Sejin quietly nodded his head. Every single thing Sejoo said was right. He had to receive fair compensation for his work at home. Then, a moment later, feeling a sense of injustice, he spoke to Seju.

“Fine. I get it. But studying isn’t something I want to do; you’re making me do it, so that should also count as work. So during vacation, I’ll be working ten hours a day, which means you have to pay me more.”

“……”

To be exact, this was the correct calculation. Not a single bit of Sejin’s will was involved in studying. So, one could say this was also part of work and an extension of labor. Sejoo seemed to have subtly tried to pass off studying as not being labor, but there was no way. Sejin chuckled, marveling at his own judgment. Then he threatened Seju.

“If you don’t pay me, I’ll report you to the police for violating labor laws. Calculate it properly.”

Not the Ministry of Labor, but the police station… Sejoolooked at the shameless fellow who was saying such absurd things, then let out a low laugh as if he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Why are you laughing?”

Sejin, who had told him to be suspicious just a moment ago, changed his words less than five minutes later, making him not just cute but also laughable. Seju, gripping the steering wheel, turned his gaze out the window. Next to him, as he laughed for a long time, Sejin, perhaps thinking he himself was a bit shameless, only shouted for him to stop laughing, his cheeks red.

A strange man.

Kwon Sejin’s one-line review of Cheon Sejoo was exactly that.

However, to express Cheon Sejooin that one line was an understatement; he was a person with many aspects that needed separate explanation. Sejin, returning with both hands full of milk, watched Cheon Sejoostanding by the refrigerator far away, choosing ham.

First, Cheon Sejoo was ridiculously handsome. A baseball cap pulled low, a thick hoodie, jogger pants, and sneakers. Dressed casually, unlike his usual self, he looked like a celebrity appearing on a show that boasted about being a single person living in a big house. His profile, with its sharp nose, was no less impressive than that popular actor, Lee-something-or-other, who had only a head attached to a handmade ham. And he was so tall that the top of the refrigerator was right in front of his cap brim.

“Um, hello.”

Just as he was seriously choosing ham, a woman dressed casually, as if out for a stroll, spoke to Cheon Seju. She held out her phone to him with a resolute expression, regretting that she was wearing training clothes, not expecting to encounter such a handsome man in such a place, but determined not to miss the opportunity.

This happened frequently whenever he went to the supermarket or department store with him. Sejin had seen Sejoo ask for his number exaggeratedly at least 50 times already, so he knew exactly how he would act. Sejoofirst lifted and lowered his cap once, then smiled gently. With a face devoid of his usual coldness, he turned to Sejin and said to the woman,

“I’m sorry. I came with my son…”

“Oh my, oh my! You’re married! You look so young. Wow, I’m truly sorry. But you’re really handsome. Your son is also really handsome…! Have a nice day. I’m truly sorry!”

“What’s with ‘came with my son’? Does that mean he would’ve given her his number if he hadn’t had a son?” Sejin shook his head with a displeased expression, watching him.

Anyway, second, Cheon Sejoo had a brazen side. Sejin initially recoiled and got annoyed at his act of treating him like his son without a change in expression, but now he said nothing. It was because there were many people who persistently tried to talk to him if he didn’t lie about having a son. Then shopping time would become excessively long, and only Sejin would suffer.

In any case, the woman, flustered by his lie, praised an innocent Sejin in embarrassment and disappeared. Sejin approached him, putting away the milk in his hands and scanning the inside of the cart. Just as he realized nothing much had been added, Cheon Sejoofinally picked up the pink sausage from the bottom shelf of the refrigerator as if he had made a decision.

Third, Cheon Sejooliked cheap food. Every day, he would agonize over expensive hams, but what he always picked up were things like that: cheap string sausages with less than 50% pork content, pink sausages with more flour than meat, and bland fake milk mixed with water.

Sejin looked at the sausage he placed in the cart, then also picked up the handmade ham with 99% pork content from the top of the display. It was hard to understand why he always included one of those when he ate the grilled handmade ham better. And he had so much money too.

“Make me gochujang jjigae.”

Seju, who was slowly pushing the cart forward, suddenly said that to Sejin. Sejin considered the refrigerator’s contents, wondering if there were any potatoes left, and nodded.

Fourth, Cheon Sejoo had strange food preferences. He liked everything to be chopped big. He ate dishes better when the ingredients were roughly prepared, like tofu roughly cut, potatoes roughly cut, squash roughly cut. He didn’t find this out by wanting to. He had been cleaning and solving workbooks when he forgot to prepare dinner and hurriedly made doenjang jjigae. He noticed he ate more of the stew with roughly chopped ingredients than usual, even though the seasoning was the same. Sejin had served him two more times, so he couldn’t not know.

Curry also chopped large, string sausages not slit, rice a little dry – anyone who saw him might think he lived off mass-produced school meals, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration. Cheon Sejoo preferred roughly made food. Looking at his appearance and actions, one would think he grew up in abundance, but seeing this, it seemed otherwise.

“Hello.”

Seju, who was placing items on the checkout counter, greeted the cashier when the person in front of him left. No one ignored the greeting of a handsome man. The cashier, who knew Sejoo and Sejin as brothers, greeted them with a bright smile again today.

“Hello. You haven’t been here in a while.”

“I got busy with work. Could you give me two packs of cigarettes with this?”

“Oh my, you should quit smoking!”

“I know. But it’s not easy.”

At his smooth, smiling reply, the cashier genuinely smiled brightly and scanned the cigarettes. Sejin watched him intently, putting each item that was scanned into the shopping cart.

Fifth, Cheon Sejoo was unexpectedly polite.

It was hard to accept, considering how he had been sarcastic with him, but it was true. Cheon Sejoo acted naturally yet politely with adults, and thanks to that, he tended to be liked by everyone.

Recalling Cheon Seju’s first appearance – his swaggering attitude, his thug-like attire, his very unlikable self – the gap was enough to make one shudder. In the period when he didn’t know him well, such behavior sometimes felt like a ridiculous act. But now, Sejin knew that Cheon Sejoo was just this kind of person. He had many different sides that Sejin didn’t know.

“Should I carry that? This one seems lighter.”

On the way home, carrying shopping bags side by side. After walking a bit out of the supermarket, Sejoo asked Sejin. It was February, and the weather had become warm after a long time, so they had accepted Seju’s suggestion to walk from home to the supermarket. He seemed concerned that they had to walk another 15 minutes to get home.

Sixth, Cheon Sejoo was subtly affectionate. Unless the other person first drew a line or made a mistake, he acted as if kindness was ingrained in him. This was especially true when they were alone. Sejin found it very uncomfortable. For some reason, every time he acted affectionately, Sejin felt a sense of irritation.

“I can carry it too.”

“If you carry heavy things, you won’t grow tall.”

“……”

At his teasing, Sejin looked up at Cheon Sejoo with cold eyes. After last year’s growth spurt, Sejin had grown a lot. He had now passed 168 and exceeded 173. Sejoo seemed to think Sejin was fully grown and often teased him about his height. However, in Sejin’s opinion, it was too early to say. That Kwon guy, whose name he didn’t even want to recall, was well over 180 cm tall. His mother, Kim Hyunkyung, was 167 cm, which was tall for a woman, and he heard his uncle was 178 cm. So Sejin still had room to grow taller. It wasn’t a family trait that would stop at just 173.

Sejin ignored Seju’s words and quickened his pace, walking past him. Heading towards home, he felt Seju’s presence chasing him from behind, laughing softly. It was a voice that tickled his ears. Sejin walked a little faster, disliking the sound of his laughter. It was the beginning of a normal weekend.

After becoming a housekeeper who studied at Cheon Seju’s house, Sejin’s life changed a little. Unlike when he was forced to do it, he now got paid, so he became a little more enthusiastic about studying and put more effort into housework.

And also, he became interested in Cheon Seju.

For a few days after becoming the housekeeper, his questions about him were endless. Although he had accepted Cheon Seju’s logic, it wasn’t easy to take everything for granted, given the nature of their initial relationship.

‘He doesn’t look like it, but is this guy actually a pushover?’ That was the first thought that came to mind. From then on, Sejin began to be curious about Cheon Seju. Sejin wanted to know about this man who was handsome, brazen, polite, lived in a big, nice house, drove an expensive foreign car, yet surprisingly liked roughly made food.

After finishing dinner, Sejin came out to the living room after washing the dishes and was solving a middle school third-grade math workbook. Cheon Sejoo was lying on the sofa next to the table where Sejin was sitting, watching the TV muted. Glancing over, a cartoon for children was playing on the TV. It was hard to even tell what was happening without sound, but Seju’s gaze never left the sparkling screen. Conscious of him, Sejin secretly watched Cheon Seju.

As always, he was wearing a thin T-shirt and soft, loose cotton pants at home. His bare feet, without socks, were neatly placed on the sofa, and just like they had once caught Sejin’s eye, they were exceptionally tidy today, revealing blue veins. His ankles, visible below the pant legs, were finely boned, with a line that continued up to his calves, beautiful enough to be called graceful, and his iliac crest, appearing above the waistband of his pants past his firm thighs, protruded nicely upward.

His lower abdomen, revealed as his T-shirt lifted, was dazzlingly white, with scattered scars here and there that even slim muscles couldn’t hide. Why did he have so many scars on his stomach? Is being a loan shark a dangerous profession? Sejin pondered, staring intently at the inside of his T-shirt. As he did so, Seju, feeling his gaze, suddenly turned his head and looked at Sejin. Only after meeting his seemingly indifferent black eyes did Sejin realize he had been staring at him for too long.

“……”

He felt strangely embarrassed. As his closed lips turned a reddish hue, Sejooscrutinized Sejin with a suspicious expression.

“You were slacking off, weren’t you? Go study, 21st place. If you don’t focus, I’ll cut your hourly wage.”

“What…”

Because he had been sick and couldn’t take the final exam, Sejin’s nickname remained “21st place.” He wanted to retort, ‘Don’t call me 21st place,’ out of injustice, but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come out. Sejin unconsciously bit his lip and looked up at Cheon Seju. Then he asked,

“Why do you have so many scars?”

“What scars?”

“On your stomach…”

Sejoo gestured with his eyes at his lower abdomen, and Cheon Sejoo tilted one eyebrow. Sitting up and adjusting his posture, he soon looked at Sejin with a serious expression.

Having received many advances since he was young, Cheon Sejoohad an uncanny ability to sense someone’s affection towards him. Fortunately, Kwon Sejin had never once triggered Cheon Seju’s alarm until now. But recently, things had been suspicious.

He had been feeling Sejin’s gaze for some time now. At the supermarket, at home, while eating, lying on the sofa, while teaching him to study – whenever he suddenly looked up, Kwon Sejin was staring at him with an inscrutable look. It wasn’t a sticky, sexual gaze. But considering the Kwon Sejin of the past, there was potential for misunderstanding.

‘He usually just glares. Why is he looking like that?’ Sejoo thought calmly, then looked at Sejin and asked,

“Do you like men, by any chance?”

Sejin was startled by the sudden question. His eyes widened, and he was aghast that Cheon Sejoohad misunderstood his question in that way, so he threw his mechanical pencil onto the table. Sejin slammed his hand onto the workbook in succession and stared at Cheon Sejoo with wide eyes.

“Why are you suddenly asking that? Did I ask if you have a significant other? I asked why you have so many scars!”

“If it’s not, it’s not. Why are you getting annoyed? It makes it more suspicious.”

“What’s suspicious! I can ask because I’m curious! Why are you so crude? If a man asks another man a question, is it always that kind of question?”

Sejin covered his flushed cheeks with the back of his hand and shouted. He narrowed his eyes and continued to argue as he watched Cheon Sejoo observing him. He rattled on about how he rejected such misunderstandings, and that he was just curious about the scars because he didn’t have anyone like him around, finally clinching it with,

“Just thinking about doing that with you makes me sick. Watch your mouth!”

“Me? Why me of all people? I don’t like it either.”

Cheon Sejoo frowned as if asking why Sejin was dragging an innocent him into this. Sejin then seemed to realize something was off, cleared his throat, and muttered,

“It’s because you’re saying strange things… Anyway, don’t say useless things! Men with men, it’s disgusting.”

“Right…”

‘Was I mistaken?’ Cheon Sejoorested his chin in his hand, undisturbed by Sejin’s homophobic remark. In that position, he watched the curious teenager, who was engrossed in solving problems again, rolling his tongue inside his mouth as if something was still amiss, until he heard his phone vibrate and turned his head.

The next morning, it rained. The cold, not yet fully gone, made the raindrops awkwardly freeze into sleet instead of snow, and Sejin was certain that Sejoo would go out today. He tidied his bedding, came out to the living room, and prepared breakfast. Since there was no message from Cheon Sejoo saying he would be away from home, he gave him a protein shake. As he was eating, Sejoor returned home after his workout.

Even though it was winter, Sejo was only wearing a thin, sweat-soaked T-shirt. He went straight to the kitchen, ruffled Sejin’s hair as he was eating, and then gulped down the shake Sejin had prepared for him. The sight of him placing the cup in the sink and turning around caught Sejin’s eye. A very large tiger tattoo was visible through the T-shirt clinging to his broad back. It was proof that this man belonged to a gang.

Suddenly, Sejin thought of the thugs from Shinsa Capital. In that old building, there were men as tall as Cheon Seju, and even bulkier men. Did those guys also have tattoos like that on their backs? He vaguely remembered seeing something on their arms or legs, but he honestly couldn’t tell about their backs. But whatever it was, Sejin felt that Cheon Sejo was fundamentally in a different position than them.

The highest-ranking person Sejin had seen there was a bald guy who looked like a nobleman’s pig. Whenever that guy appeared, the thugs would bow deeply, calling him ‘Hyungnim, Hyungnim.’ But when Cheon Sejoo appeared, they didn’t bow; they just greeted him in a voice loud enough to burst eardrums. That was on a different level from the thugs’ mumbled ‘Good morning, hyungnim’ to the bald guy.

Anyway, thinking about it in various ways, Cheon Sejoo didn’t seem to be just a loan shark working for that loan company. The fact that he drove two incredibly expensive cars, unlike the bald guy who drove a domestic car, and lived in such a big, nice house…

‘What exactly does that person do?’ Sejin stopped eating, resting his chin in his hand, and followed Cheon Sejoo with his eyes. He came out of the bathroom attached to the living room after showering and was returning to his room, wearing only a loose gown. He had a bathroom in his own bedroom, but he always showered in the living room. When Sejin asked why he showered there, he said the window in the attached bathroom was too big and inconvenient. ‘Who would see him on the 41st floor?’ It made no sense. Sejin just found the large bathroom, with a full view of the Han River, simply amazing.

He had gone into his room and came out shortly after, changed. Wearing a large hoodie with the hood pulled down and training pants, he looked exactly like a college student. How old was he? Sejin tried to recall the birth year he had seen on Seju’s ID but failed. He didn’t know his age, only remembered that his birthday was January 1st, which he found interesting. Anyway, he looked young for his age. When he wore a suit, he looked like he was in his late twenties, but in casual clothes, he looked nothing but a college student.

“I might not be able to come home for a few days.”

Sejoo informed him and placed Sejin’s study books on the dining table. He opened the workbook with the mechanical pencil stuck in it, then put small Post-it notes every three pages and wrote dates to mark what Sejin needed to solve. Sejin watched him silently, holding his chopsticks. As he did so, Sejoo looked at him strangely and asked,

“Are you sick? Are you going to eat all day?”

He said this because Sejin, who would normally have cleared the table even before he finished showering, was still holding his chopsticks. Sejin then realized that he hadn’t even finished his meal properly because he was observing Cheon Sejoo and began to aggressively scoop up spoonfuls. As he ate the side dishes together, gobbling them down, Sejoochuckled, closed the math workbook, and opened an English vocabulary book. Sejin again stared at him, forgetting to chew what was in his mouth.

Cheon Sejoowas smart. It was a truth he hated to admit but couldn’t deny. Even though it had clearly been a long time since he had learned them, he hadn’t forgotten a single math formula, and he could instantly tell the meaning of English words. He had no hesitation in interpreting classical poems that made no sense to Sejin, and he even explained things better than the workbook’s answer key.

The more he knew him, the more questions arose. He couldn’t understand why such a person would go around being a thug. No, was he really doing thug-like things? Sejin took a sip of water and glanced at Cheon Seju.

He couldn’t imagine him storming into someone’s house and intimidating them for money like the burly guys from Shinsa Capital. Perhaps like in a noir movie, sitting in a large building’s CEO office, swinging a golf club… Could the scars on his stomach be from a secret conflict between gangs? They were too many to be just that. As Sejin was thinking such thoughts, their eyes met.

“…Why?”

“Nothing.”

Sejin vaguely knew another fact about Cheon Seju: he was not in a good mood on rainy days. From late December to early January, the weather forecast often predicted rain disguised as snow. Each time, Cheon Sejoo appeared much more subdued than usual. His words were cut in half, and he smoked a lot.

And on such days, he always…

“I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

After finishing checking the workbooks, Cheon Sejooruffled Sejin’s hair and left his seat. Sejin avoided his hand, pulling his body aside, and watched his retreating back. He disappeared down the hallway, and there was a very faint sound of the inner door closing. Left alone, Sejin looked at the empty, spacious house, then got up and cleared the table.

After finishing the dishes and preparing all the side dishes, he showered and sat down at the living room table. Leaning against the sofa, he placed the marked workbook on the table and began to study. Since he was getting paid for it, he had to study diligently. By the time Sejin had finished all of today’s problems, it was well past dinner time.

After his belated meal, Sejin stood in front of the large living room window before going to bed. It was raining now. Under the dark sky, watching the raindrops beyond the window faintly lit by lights, Sejin thought of the man somewhere in the city. Where could Cheon Sejoobe, so perfectly suited to the damp, cold air, and what was he doing? He thought about it quietly, then turned off the light and returned to his room. Cheon Sejoo didn’t come home until Wednesday.