Projection Novel (Completed) - Chapter 19

It had been two months since he started living with the man, and Sejin had only been able to see his mother three times so far. It was because he couldn’t meet the conditions the man had set.

In truth, going to Hwahak was entirely inconvenient for the man, so Sejin could understand him even if he only allowed him to see his mother once every two weeks or once a month. But humans were fickle creatures. At first, he said he could go every week, but then he used studying as an excuse not to take him, which was incredibly annoying.

What good was memorizing the 19-times table anyway? Sejin, who had no interest in academics, didn’t believe that studying would significantly change his life. So, thinking that he was missing the chance to meet his mother because of things that were utterly useless to his life, he felt inexplicably annoyed. To be precise, he was irritated by the man, and angry at himself for being so stupid as to not even be able to memorize the 19-times table.

“Oh, look who it is, the little whore.”

Entering the noisy classroom, Sejin quietly narrowed his eyes at the voice that flew his way. The bastard calling Sejin a whore was Haegyun, a thug who practically came to school just to torment him, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say.

On the day Cheon Sejoo drove his car onto the sidewalk and took Sejin away, Haegyun, who witnessed the scene, wondered how Kwon Sejin, who lived in a semi-basement room and was even evicted from there, could possibly know such a rich and handsome man. He then came to the obvious conclusion that a thug his age would reach: Kwon Sejin was selling his body to that man. Thus, Haegyun began calling Sejin a whore from that day on. Kim Byungjoon, his minion, did the same.

Fortunately, Sejin wasn’t the type to be provoked by their shallow taunts, but Haegyun’s “whore” chanting only grew worse day by day due to Sejin’s indifferent attitude towards the insults.

“……”

Sejin’s gaze fell on the donut cushion placed on his chair. As he stared, wondering what it was, Haegyun approached him, snickering, and said,

“Sejin-ah. You must be tired from spreading your ass for that hyung, so I swiped my grandpa’s hemorrhoid cushion for you. Good job, right?”

Kwon Sejin learned that men inserted “it” there during sex from Haegyun. At first, he thought it was some kind of filthy act, but after hearing it for two months, it no longer elicited any strong emotion. Sejin lifted his foot, knocked the donut cushion off his chair, and sat down. He ignored whatever Haegyun, who was perched on the desk next to him, was blabbering, and pulled out his notebook from his bag.

The notebook contained 30 essential SAT words, meticulously written by the man himself. The English words, written in neat and tidy handwriting, were mostly difficult for Sejin to learn, but Cheon Sejoo, who taught in a Spartan style, told him to just memorize them first. Even if he didn’t know the verbs and couldn’t translate, he needed to understand the context, he said.

You little whore, you should listen when someone’s talking, do you like spreading your ass? Damn it, do you whine and cry like girls too? Will you let me have a go too? Oh, can’t you do it without riding a Porsche?

All the while, Haegyun spewed nonsense into Sejin’s ear, like someone desperate to anger him. But when Sejin showed no reaction at all, Haegyun soon swore in exasperation, kicked Sejin’s desk once, and left.

As the nauseating smell of stale cigarettes faded and the surroundings grew quiet, Sejin finally relaxed his expression and pulled out his mechanical pencil. He concentrated on memorizing English words, tracing the alphabet the man had written.

It was in the afternoon, just after lunch, that Sejin felt a belated fever and muscle aches. He had finished eating and was slumped over his desk when his entire body ached as if he’d been trampled. However, the symptoms weren’t severe, so Sejin didn’t even consider going to the infirmary and simply spent the afternoon with his cheek pressed against the cool desk. All the while, his gaze never left the notebook beside him.

Memorizing 30 English words seemed difficult yet not difficult. All he had to do was memorize without having to rack his brain, but Sejin, who had never really memorized anything, was just stupidly stuffing alphabets into his head, so it was unlikely to be easy to remember.

Anyway, Sejin only memorized English words until school ended. The man had told him to listen carefully in class, but he couldn’t concentrate on the lessons while memorizing words. Sejin chose to memorize words to go see his mother rather than listen to the soulless teacher’s lecture, which showed no hint of sincerity. And so, it became four in the afternoon.

Few students remained at Sejin’s school until regular classes ended. Most scattered like a pack of hyenas after a hunt once lunch was over, and those who remained in the afternoon were mostly attempting to study, however feebly. Even then, they were spiritless children who easily fell asleep, unable to overcome post-lunch drowsiness. Sejin spent his time staring only at the notebook with Cheon Sejoo’s handwriting, amidst a few boys who were sleeping as if unconscious. And as soon as the final bell rang, he grabbed his bag and left school.

From the school entrance to the gate, the path stretched in a straight line. Thanks to this, as soon as he exited the building, he could spot the black SUV parked far away. He came early today, Sejin quickened his pace, recalling the man who usually arrived around 4 PM.

Early December, the dry, cold wind was quite biting. The padded jacket the man had awkwardly given him as a gift was warm, but it couldn’t prevent his face from getting cold, so Sejin pulled up his hood to hide his faintly feverish cheeks.

The winter wind made his joints ache painfully, and his muscles felt weak. Surely it wasn’t another cold, he suddenly thought it might be growing pains. He had a persistent low fever and muscle aches when he grew to 168 cm in middle school. Is there any pain reliever at home? Sejin walked briskly, planning to stop by a pharmacy in case of body aches.

“Going to sell your body again?”

It was when Sejin stepped out of the school gate. Haegyun, who had been standing by the wall, suddenly appeared and grinned. Sejin’s hardened gaze soon turned to the car behind Haegyun.

Due to the dark tinting, he couldn’t tell if the man inside the car was looking this way or not. In any case, Sejin didn’t want to show this side of himself to the man, so he turned his body and tried to avoid Haegyun.

“…Ah!”

But at that moment, Haegyun tripped him, and Sejin, whose reactions were slow due to his aches, couldn’t avoid it. Thump, Sejin fell forward, bracing himself with his bare hands on the ground, biting his lip as he felt pain in his knees and ankles.

“Fuck.”

His mood, which had merely been listless and not bad, felt like it was smashed into the ground. Heat surged from his palms, which had braced against the cold sidewalk. When he stood up and looked, blood was oozing from the skin scraped by the rough brick surface. Sejin irritably clenched his fist and glared at Haegyun.

He couldn’t understand why Haegyun was so interested in him. Since Sejin consistently showed little reaction, he would have given up this act out of boredom, but Haegyun was constantly picking fights, as if he was desperate to torment him.

This time was no different. Sejin, who had fallen, just swore once and kept quiet, but Haegyun, looking rather excited, started running his mouth.

“Is that hyung good at sex? Damn, I’m pretty good too.”

It had been two months since he started being called a whore, and over a month since Haegyun started talking about sex to Sejin. Sejin looked at the guy who was snickering like a lunatic and thrusting his hips in front of him with disdain. He was like a balloon inflatable doll swaying in front of a mobile phone store. He looked too stupid to even bother with.

Sejin ignored Haegyun and stepped forward again. A chill was gradually spreading through his body. He wanted to get to the car quickly. But Haegyun was persistent. The more Sejin ignored him, the more Haegyun escalated his torment.

“Where are you going? I said, Just once, give it to me too?”

At the disgusting words, Sejin scowled and pulled his padded jacket tighter. His ears felt like they were rotting. And when he took one more step towards Cheon Sejoo’s car, Haegyun muttered something barely audible.

“A whore… a son of a….”

The biting wind blurred his concentration. But the undeniable nuance made Sejin stop and turn around. His face, coldly hardened, carried the chill of the bitter season.

“What did you just say?”

Sejin’s sharp voice reached Haegyun. Haegyun, who had drawn a proper reaction from Sejin for the first time in almost a year, looked genuinely surprised. But as if not to miss the opportunity, he soon grinned and approached him. The smell of cigarettes mixed chaotically with perfume made his stomach churn. Sejin, frowning, looked up at Haegyun and asked again.

“I asked what you just said.”

“What did I say? I said the little whore was playing hard to get, didn’t I? Want me to say it again? The gay prostitute raised by poor parents is playing hard to get, not knowing his place!”

As he sneered, Haegyun raised his hand and struck Sejin’s hood. The hood of the padded jacket slipped off, revealing his small face, flushed red under the winter sky. Haegyun swallowed dryly, looked down at Sejin, then bent down close to him and whispered.

“Is that hyung good at sex? My dick, damn it, it’s really big….”

“…That hyung doesn’t have a pig’s trotters like yours between his legs, you pig. You should at least compare apples to apples.”

At Sejin’s words, eyes narrowed in an instant, Haegyun was speechless.

“What…?”

He had tried to endure it as much as possible, but the man kept bringing up that man, and Sejin got heated. While delusion was free, he was annoyed that Haegyun kept talking as if he was above him. Plus, he definitely seemed to have said something bad about his mother, and his sudden change in attitude made Sejin want to provoke Haegyun.

“Stop it. I have no intention of getting fucked by a bastard like you.”

Haegyun’s delight at Sejin’s lively reaction was short-lived. Realizing that what Sejin had said was an insult to him, Haegyun’s face reddened, and he scowled fiercely.

“Damn it, you really need a beating.”

Haegyun quickly regained his composure, grabbed Sejin’s collar in a fit of rage. Sejin narrowed his eyes and scoffed at him.

It had been almost a year since this torment began. He had ignored everything, letting their words flow past him, not wanting to play along with these idiots, but regardless of being unaffected by their words, a corner of Sejin’s heart was accumulating irritation towards Haegyun and Kim Byungjoon. It was because they were so loud and smelly and unpleasant.

That unpleasantness had reached its peak recently, and if Haegyun laid a hand on him, Sejin had no intention of holding back anymore.

“Go on. Hit me!”

Sejin’s sharp voice drew the attention of passersby. Haegyun, eyes wild, yelled at him to shut up and raised his hand as if to strike Sejin. And then. Honk! A long horn blared from the black SUV.

At the ear-splitting noise, Haegyun, finally remembering the car’s presence, flinched in confusion. Sejin shot an irritated glare at the man who was interrupting him, then yelled at Haegyun again.

“Hit me, hit me!”

He wasn’t afraid of being hit by Haegyun. Sejin also had every intention of hitting Haegyun back. However, to avoid having to pay money unnecessarily, he had to take one hit first. If he hit first, he’d be the aggressor, but if he got hit and then retaliated, it was self-defense and a counterattack.

“You, damn it….”

But Sejin’s wish wasn’t granted. Haegyun, startled by Sejin actively pushing his face into him, threw his wrist away and began to stumble backward. He looked back and forth between the car, which had been honking for almost a minute, and Sejin’s wide eyes, then soon cursed, “Damn it,” and left.

As Haegyun’s retreating back disappeared, Sejin cursed under his breath. It was a waste. It had been a chance to vent his pent-up frustration, but someone had ruined it all. Sejin stood there, still clenching his fist, watching Haegyun disappear into the distance, then approached Cheon Sejoo’s car, which was still honking. The loud noise only stopped when Sejin climbed into the passenger seat.

“Why did you interfere?”

Sejin abruptly challenged Cheon Sejoo, who had his eyebrows fiercely raised. Cheon Sejoo stared at Sejin with a hardened face, then, thinking he must have misheard, asked, “What?”

“Why did you honk the horn back there?”

“……”

But Sejin was serious. He was upset that he had missed a golden opportunity. A look of bewilderment crossed Cheon Sejoo’s handsome face. Cheon Sejoo stared blankly at Sejin, speechless for a moment, then let out a scoff of disbelief and retorted.

“Are you a masochist?”

“What? What’s that? Don’t change the subject. I asked why you interfered. If it weren’t for you, I could have hit that bastard.”

“……”

As if to say, What nonsense are you spouting? Sejin frowned and continued to speak his mind. In his words, Cheon Sejoo was speechless again. He stared at Sejin, who was saying utterly incomprehensible things, his lips pressed tightly together.

If Sejin fought that “tights” guy earlier, Sejin would obviously be the one getting beaten. Even if, by some perfect timing, Sejin managed to hit the “tights” guy once, he would clearly get beaten like a dog afterwards. To say he could have hit him…

What kind of logic was that? Did he think getting hit ten times was worth it if he could land one blow? Thinking that, Cheon Sejoo realized that Sejin was terrible at math and soon conceded. That idiot definitely thought that way.

“Does that bastard keep bothering you?”

Discussing the issue of hitting and getting hit would clearly make his stomach churn, so Cheon Sejoo changed the subject. He was careful not to let his simmering anger show, but his voice was undeniably sharp.

At his question, Sejin sighed as if he was asking something useless, then buckled his seatbelt and replied,

“He’s just being a bit annoying.”

“Is that ‘a bit annoying’ level? That bastard was waiting for you by the school gate the whole time.”

Sejin didn’t know it, but Cheon Sejoo was on the verge of losing it. Despite being different from Hyein in gender, name, appearance, and actions, just the fact that he was being bullied at school at the same age of 18 made Cheon Sejoo nearly rush out several times while Sejin was squabbling with the “tights” guy. If Cheon Sejoo had been a little less patient, he would be sitting in a police car right now, not a Porsche.

However, Sejin, who had no idea what was going on inside Cheon Sejoo, only found his interference annoying. Ha, Sejin sighed briefly and looked at Cheon Sejoo, saying,

“It’s none of your business. If you’re so concerned, why didn’t you get out and chase him away earlier? What does it matter now if he bothers me or not, after you just honked the horn from your car?”

If I had gotten out of the car, that bastard would already be dead. Cheon Sejoo suppressed the urge to retort that and looked at Sejin. Sejin, whose ears and cheeks were still reddish as if he had a fever, wore a cynical expression, as if Haegyun’s torment was nothing.

Cheon Sejoo felt inexplicably angry, he squeezed his eyes shut and calmed himself. He didn’t want to reveal that he cared too much about Sejin, but he couldn’t just let this situation pass without saying anything.

After Hyein died, Cheon Sejoo resented her for a while. Why didn’t she tell him? If she had told him, he would have done anything to resolve the bullying, yet in her suicide note, she hadn’t said a word to him until the very end, and he had felt it was unfair.

Thanks to that, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t be sure that Sejin, who seemed perfectly fine, truly was okay. Sejin hadn’t opened up to him, so no one knew if his insides were festering like Hyein’s had been.

“If you can’t stand that bastard bothering you, tell me. I’ll take care of it.”

At his genuine words, Sejin’s expression hardened.

His transparent, glassy eyes turned towards Cheon Sejoo. Every time he showed a sense of responsibility towards him, Sejin couldn’t help the growing expectations he had for Cheon Sejoo. However, at the man’s earnest words, speaking as if he would truly take responsibility for him, Sejin couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh this time.

Haegyun and the man were not so different. Sejin wasn’t a target of extortion, but he knew that Haegyun extorted money from other kids. Just as the man’s colleagues had passed on debt to his mother and extorted her salary, Haegyun was the same kind of person as them. And yet, for the man to say he would “take care of” Haegyun, it wasn’t even funny.

“Are you a cop? Don’t act like you’re someone important.”

Sejin asked coolly, then let out a hollow laugh in disbelief and continued,

“People like him grow up to be people like you, aren’t they? It’s beneath me to even deal with him. Don’t try to interfere in my private life.”

At these words, which built a wall, Cheon Sejoo’s lips twisted. A cold chill emanated from his sharp eyes, and as he roughly stepped on the accelerator, the car roared loudly down the road. Crack, a sound echoed from his hand gripping the steering wheel tightly.

It wasn’t just any other matter; despite Sejin being bullied, his attitude of telling him not to interfere kept infuriating him. It meant that Kwon Sejin hadn’t opened his heart to him that much, and even knowing that, he couldn’t control the burning anger inside him. Cheon Sejoo gritted his teeth and blurted out whatever came to mind.

“How is this private life? If he pulls that crap in front of me again, I’ll run him over with the car, so just know that.”

At the chilling words, Sejin slowly turned his eyes and looked at Cheon Sejoo.

“Why no answer? Can’t do it?”

The man’s mocking tone was different from usual again. He looked like the thug Sejin remembered. However, that narrowed-eye expression wasn’t frightening.

You and Haegyun are the same. Despite understanding the hidden meaning in the conversation, the man said nothing about it. The reason he was angry was because Sejin was trying to ignore Haegyun’s bullying.

Why is that a reason for you to be angry?

Sejin didn’t understand. The fact that he was being bullied seemed to make Cheon Sejoo angry, didn’t it sound as if he cared for him very much…?

Do you think you’re different from Haegyun? A question suddenly surged, but Sejin didn’t ask Cheon Sejoo. In fact, deep down, Sejin knew it. That this man was different from everyone else. That he wasn’t like his father, his uncle, or Haegyun, not in any way.

However, due to an intense self-preservation instinct, Sejin was reluctant to admit that Cheon Sejoo was different from others. Trying hard to ignore the warmth rising somewhere in his chest, Sejin scoffed and retorted.

“Is that the best you can come up with? Just like a gangster, such a noble solution.”

At the sharp retort, Cheon Sejoo silently smiled and pressed the accelerator. With a loud engine roar, the car sped across the road. The two headed towards Hwagak in silence.

Sejin’s original home was a semi-basement house at the entrance of a residential area. Because there was a clothing factory right next door, the sound of motorcycles was constant throughout the day, so the windows of the cramped, old house, full of mold, were always closed. Sejin spent most of his short life in such a suffocating space. In contrast, the man’s house was unnecessarily large and spacious, a place where no noise could be heard at all. When he closed his eyes to sleep, it was a peaceful space where only the sound of his own breathing echoed quietly.

Sejin liked that silence. He liked this quiet house where he wouldn’t miss a word of conversation with his mother due to a car horn.

When all the debt was paid off, Sejin wanted to find a house like this and live with his mother. A warm, draft-free, clean, and quiet house, free of mold.

To do that, he needed to save money in advance, but circumstances didn’t allow him to work part-time. It was because of that nagging person who tried to interfere with his life plans. Thinking of him, Sejin’s neatly composed face wrinkled. If it weren’t for that man, he would have already saved 500,000 won… At this rate, he would leave this house empty-handed when he became an adult.

To tell him not to work part-time when he wasn’t even going to give him a deposit, the man’s irresponsible nagging was tiresome. Studying wouldn’t put food on the table, and just studying for a year wouldn’t get him into a university with a full scholarship, but the man, true to his uneducated nature, was short-sighted. Of course, lately he’d been thinking the man was smart enough to make him doubt if he truly was uneducated, but…

Anyway, just thinking about that man made him sigh. Sejin got up, thinking that at least he could work part-time during vacation. As the blanket slid off, the air felt cool against his warm body. The low fever that had consumed him for days remained. However, it wasn’t too inconvenient for daily life, so he was enduring without taking any antipyretics.

Sejin went to the bathroom, lightly washed his face, and came out. It was almost 9 AM, but the house was quiet, perhaps because the man was still asleep.

He headed straight to the kitchen and organized the refrigerator. He took out the eggs and ingredients he had bought last weekend and placed them on the counter, gathering the remaining side dishes into a bowl, planning to finish them all for breakfast. He placed the eggs, soaking in cold water, on the induction cooktop to make braised eggs, and Sejin ate breakfast by scooping out the leftover rice.

He finished his meal in 10 minutes, got up, peeled the appropriately boiled hot eggs in cold water, and removed the remaining membrane from the pork tenderloin before boiling it. Then, he trimmed some slightly wilted chives, making half into chive kimchi, enough for one or two servings, and cut the other half into two-finger lengths, intending to make chive pancakes.

While Sejin was diligently doing housework, Cheon Sejoo woke up. He woke up almost at noon, yawned as he came into the living room, wearing cotton pants precariously low on his waist and a thin white T-shirt that revealed the tattoo on his back. With a sleepy face and disheveled hair, he trudged to the refrigerator, took out a beer, emptied the 500ml bottle as if it were water right there, then grabbed a bottle of mineral water separately and headed to the sofa again.

Thump, hearing the man lie down on the sofa and searching for the remote, Sejin couldn’t hide his disdain and glanced at the living room. A cartoon, which had been off, was now playing on the TV. The man was watching the unfunny children’s cartoon as if hypnotized.

That was the man’s entire weekend routine. He would just lie there, then go to the bathroom, smoke, or take a nap. He was a person who lectured Sejin about studying and talked about the future, yet he behaved as if he had no future himself. His extreme inconsistency in words and actions naturally made Sejin feel rebellious towards him.

Every time he nagged, Sejin was reminded of the neighbor’s 47-year-old son. Of course, he couldn’t be compared to that man, who exuded a movie-scene aura even when lying there with a haggard face… Anyway, that man had been studying for the civil service exam for 20 years, and whenever he saw Sejin and Sejin’s mother, he would spout useless nagging based on shallow common sense and knowledge he had picked up somewhere. It was nonsense disguised as nagging.

Sejin stared intently at the man lying there smoking, his lower abdomen, scarred, fully exposed. He should take care of himself first… Shaking his head at the laziest person in this house, who nagged him every day, Sejin headed to the living room. Whoosh, he opened all the windows to let a cross breeze clear the cigarette smell, and only then did the man acknowledge him. “Hey…” He dragged out the word, put out his cigarette, and looked up at Sejin.

“I’m cold.”

“It’s ventilation time.”

Sejin said coolly and headed back to the kitchen. It was already lunchtime. Although he had eaten breakfast two hours ago, Sejin, who got hungry again almost immediately, started cooking new rice and frying chive pancakes, intending to have lunch with Cheon Sejoo. He put about eight appropriately simmered braised eggs into a bowl, and also transferred radish salad and chive kimchi. Meanwhile, Cheon Sejoo secretly closed the windows and curled up on the sofa like a cocoon until the cold air covering the living room subsided.

Sejin had set the table and called him before scooping rice.

“Time to eat.”

He watched the man tumble off the sofa and walk weakly towards him, then turned back. He scooped rice into the bowls, putting only half for Cheon Sejoo and a heaping portion for himself. It wasn’t intentional, but because the man wasn’t very enthusiastic about eating. Meanwhile, Cheon Sejoo took a bottle of mineral water from the refrigerator and placed it on the table. Sitting across from each other, Sejin didn’t look at the man while they ate. Not knowing what nagging might pour out if their eyes met, he only looked at his own rice bowl and poured out what he had to say.

“I need to go grocery shopping today. We’re out of rice. The vacuum cleaner is broken too. It won’t charge. I need to buy disposable wet wipes too. There’s no bleach, and I want a new cleaning brush.”

“What are you saying…? Are you rapping?”

He had just stated what was needed, but it seemed he hadn’t listened properly. At Cheon Sejoo’s retort, Sejin irritably raised his eyes. But as their eyes met, he chuckled, then picked up his chopsticks, placed an egg on Sejin’s rice bowl, and said,

“Good rhyme.”

“……”

He heard everything but is still playing around… Sejin’s brow furrowed. As if pleased by his reaction, the man rested his chin on the table, snickered, and then spoke.

“I have plans today. I’ll be back late tonight. We’re not completely out of rice, are we?”

Sejin recalled the rice bin and nodded. There was enough left for a day or two.

“Then go tomorrow,” he said.

The large mart was close enough, and these days they even delivered, so it wouldn’t have mattered if he went alone. But Sejin didn’t want to. He also had to buy large appliances like a vacuum cleaner, and he didn’t know how much to choose from. He was afraid if he just bought something cheap, the man would scold him for buying a bargain, and he wouldn’t be able to stand the annoyance. It would be better to just go together and have the man buy it himself.

When Sejin nodded again, Cheon Sejoo lowered his head as if to resume eating. Then, he suddenly put down his chopsticks and unexpectedly reached out a hand. Cold fingers touched Sejin’s warm forehead.

“You still have a fever.”

“Get off.”

Sejin tilted his head to the side, shaking off his hand. Cheon Sejoo, undeterred by his attitude as if dealing with something dirty, readily withdrew his hand and looked Sejin up and down, saying, “Are you hurting anywhere?”

“No.”

“How can a slight fever last for days?”

He had a slight fever that came and went on Wednesday evening after being exposed to the cold wind on the way to Hwagak, but Sejin was still suffering from a low-grade fever slightly above 37 degrees Celsius. However, the dull ache in his joints had become familiar after a few days, and it didn’t bother him anymore. Since there was something suspicious about why he had a fever, Sejin merely shrugged and focused on his meal.