Passion Raga Novel (Completed) - Chapter 39

Yuri silently kept his mouth shut and only looked at Ling Xinlu. Ling Xinlu, having taken his gaze off Fei, stared back at Yuri as if challenging him, glaring intensely for a few seconds.

Yuri, who had been calmly facing Ling Xinlu without smiling or getting angry, quietly let out a long breath. At that moment, Ling Xinlu’s expression hardened fiercely. He opened his mouth as if to blurt something out, then stopped midway. He glared menacingly at Yuri, then finally closed his mouth and let out a bitter sigh. He squeezed his fingers as he rubbed his closed eyes.

“Let’s go. I’m really tired.”

When Ling Xinlu spoke in a voice laced with fatigue and displeasure, Yuri meekly nodded. He placed the glass he was holding on the stone ledge beside him and turned to Fei, who was standing next to him.

“I should get going now. Have a good time. Say hello to Xiao Qun for me too.”

“Oh… okay. It’s late, so be careful on your way.”

Fei glanced at Ling Xinlu and Yuri alternately but said nothing else, just smiled regretfully and offered his goodbyes. Fei waved, saying, “See you later, youngest uncle,” but Ling Xinlu didn’t reply and walked ahead towards the parking lot. Yuri, who followed him, nodded lightly as a substitute for a greeting and also started walking.

Ling Xinlu, who exchanged brief eye contact with passersby and quickly exited the corridor, walked briskly forward without ever looking back. Yuri followed him, maintaining a two-step distance behind his angry-looking fast pace, and also remained silent.

They didn’t exchange a single word or make eye contact until they reached the parking lot, Yuri sat in the driver’s seat, and Ling Xinlu sat in the passenger seat beside him. No, Yuri had looked at him while walking behind him, but Ling Xinlu hadn’t looked back. Yuri turned to Ling Xinlu, who was sitting motionless in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead until Yuri started the engine and gripped the steering wheel, and quietly said:

“Buckle up.”

However, Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu, who continued to stare straight ahead as if he hadn’t heard, for a moment, then leaned over and buckled his seatbelt for him. And without a word, he started the car.

After that, silence filled the car for the entire ride back.

When they arrived at the mansion and Yuri parked the car, Ling Xinlu remained motionless, only looking out the window. Yuri also drove silently, only occasionally checking the rearview mirror, without looking at or speaking to Ling Xinlu.

He thought Ling Xinlu must be thoroughly upset. But at the same time, he wondered if it was better than before, when he couldn’t control himself and his face would turn pale with anger whenever his insides churned. …However, it wasn’t as if he felt more comfortable now than when he used to vent his anger by shouting fiercely. Yuri wasn’t the type to be fidgety in this kind of silence, but his heart felt heavy, just like anyone else’s.

It was the first time he had seen him so upset like this, so he had no idea how long it would last.

“I hope it doesn’t last long,” Yuri thought as he parked the car in the mansion’s parking lot and turned off the engine. He looked at Ling Xinlu in the rearview mirror. He wasn’t asleep, but he was still motionless, looking out the window, as if lost in thought.

“…We’re here.”

Yuri quietly spoke, thinking that perhaps he was so lost in thought that he hadn’t realized they had arrived.

Ling Xinlu tilted his head slightly, indicating he had heard Yuri’s words, but still remained motionless. Yuri watched him for a moment, then reached out and unbuckled his seatbelt, and then quietly waited. He could wait as long as needed. Yuri quietly leaned his head back against the seat. And he waited for Ling Xinlu’s mood to lighten—or for his thoughts to clear.

But the wait wasn’t long.

Ling Xinlu, who had been staring out at the dark, still window, glanced at Yuri. Yuri felt it.

“Are you angry?”

The abrupt question was something Yuri hadn’t expected. If it had been a declarative statement, “You’re angry,” he might have understood it just by hearing that cold, sulky voice, but he was asking Yuri, in that unpleasant voice, if he was angry.

Yuri, who had been leaning against the seat, sat up straight and turned to him. Ling Xinlu was staring directly at Yuri, as if glaring.

“……..”

Yuri didn’t answer.

It was a question he hadn’t expected to hear at that moment, but if he were asked if he wasn’t angry, that wouldn’t be true.

No, to be precise, it wasn’t a matter of whether he was angry or not, but whether he agreed or disagreed with Ling Xinlu’s actions in the corridor a moment ago. And Yuri still thought it was wrong. That thought would probably never change.

“That woman earlier, I really just talked to her. If she hadn’t followed me so easily, I wouldn’t have persistently clung to her.”

Ling Xinlu turned his body completely towards Yuri. His words, hurled out as if he was being unfairly accused, sounded like anger.

Ling Xinlu, who had been facing Yuri, who remained silent without any reply, closed his mouth as if choked up. Soon, his lips twisted and contorted.

“—That’s right. Her smiling face felt a bit similar to Tae-yi hyung’s, that’s why.”

A low, resentful confession, as if rising from the depths of his chest.

“So, whether she had a lover or not, whether I knew that she was ultimately different from Tae-yi hyung or not, I talked to her. I intentionally whispered words that would make her fall for me and gave her that kind of smile. —But she, from the beginning, even before I did anything, was already glancing at me. She was looking at me with eyes that desperately wanted me to talk to her. Every time our eyes met, she smiled eagerly, and when I talked to her, she just happily followed along without even knowing me well.”

The words he spewed out in anger were vile self-justification, self-defense. And he himself knew that fact. That’s why his face contorted more and more as he spoke.

That which gnawed at his misguided pride was the most certain and effective punishment for himself. Even if no other person punished him—which they couldn’t—he gritted his teeth in pain as he spoke of his own actions.

“You’re like that too.”

Ling Xinlu, who had been gritting his teeth for a while, suddenly muttered.

“You also liked me without even knowing me well. What was it about me that you liked so much?”

“You don’t know either,” Ling Xinlu was directing his lost anger at Yuri. And Yuri silently watched Ling Xinlu, who seemed on the verge of collapsing but was forcibly clinging to his pain. Then he slowly opened his mouth.

“What part of you do you want me to like?”

Yuri quietly asked back.

For a moment, Ling Xinlu seemed speechless, only looking at Yuri.

Yuri, who had been quietly facing Ling Xinlu for a while, continued speaking.

“I like Mr. Ling Xinlu, including those parts. …But what we need to talk about now is separate from that. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings for a trivial whim that isn’t even serious. Nor do I think it’s okay to do so.”

Ling Xinlu said nothing while Yuri calmly recited his words. He only stared at Yuri without even blinking.

“Just because I like you doesn’t mean I’ll say wrong is not wrong.”

Yuri concluded his words and closed his mouth.

He wouldn’t condemn his mistakes, nor would he defend him and break.

For a long time, Ling Xinlu was silent. He stared intently at Yuri, then at some point, his lips twisted as if something had surged up from within him. But he looked at Yuri as if he was about to get angry, yet he ended up saying nothing and closed his mouth again.

Finally.

“Don’t be angry.”

A voice, small as if it would disappear, whispered.

“Don’t be angry. I was wrong.”

As if they had never shone so brightly, his dark pupils were dimly extinguished. A voice as dark and sunken as those pupils spoke. Don’t be angry because I was wrong.

Yuri gazed at him. He briefly lowered his gaze, then only lifted his eyes to look at Yuri, and muttered again. Don’t be angry.

“I was wrong. I really just… wanted to talk for a moment. I knew that it would cause those two to fall out, but I didn’t talk to them intentionally to make that happen.”

“Really,” he mumbled, his voice fading weakly.

Yuri silently watched him. With a slight sense of bewilderment. He was at a loss as to what to do with him, whose expression had instantly faded as if the light had gone out.

“I’m not angry. My anger has subsided. It’s okay.”

Such words lingered on the tip of his tongue for a moment and then disappeared. Nothing seemed right to say.

So Yuri quietly reached out his hand to him, who was now silent, not even speaking. He gently placed his hand on his head, which was bowed and motionless.

His neck seemed to flinch. But Ling Xinlu remained still, obediently letting Yuri slowly stroke him. As Yuri awkwardly stroked him a few times, his hunched shoulders gradually straightened. His face, which had lost its light, slowly calmed down.

Finally, Ling Xinlu, who had been looking down at his hand, lifted his gaze and glanced at Yuri, and their eyes met. Yuri hesitated for a moment, then nodded almost imperceptibly. That was his answer.

Only then did Ling Xinlu’s dark expression relax. He quietly exhaled, carefully examining every detail of Yuri’s expression.

“Ah… really…”

He mumbled like a sigh.

His body, as if drained of energy, swayed and leaned towards Yuri. He rested his forehead on Yuri’s shoulder and whispered softly.

“I don’t like it when people who don’t get angry get angry…”

“It feels like it’s too much energy drain,” Ling Xinlu muttered to himself, remaining motionless on Yuri’s shoulder for a moment. Yuri, who had been stroking his head and then looking at his hand floating in the air for a moment, gently lowered that hand, and then Ling Xinlu suddenly rubbed his forehead. Yuri stiffened at his gesture of rubbing his forehead slightly against his shoulder.

It was like a kitten showing affection. But for a kitten, he was too big, more like a slender lion.

The hair tickling his neck softly, the warm body temperature touching his shoulder, the faint scent that wafted whenever he moved his head. These things combined, came vividly like a tangible sensation.

“……..”

He was momentarily flustered.

Perhaps it showed on his usually impassive face. But Ling Xinlu, who was rubbing his forehead on his shoulder, wouldn’t have seen it, yet Yuri realized his own fluster and blinked.

However, the momentary hesitation seemed to have been conveyed to Ling Xinlu.

He lifted his head slightly in bewilderment and stared intently at Yuri, who was only blinking.

“…….”

“…….”

In less than one or two seconds, he seemed to have read Yuri’s impassive face.

The next moment.

Unexpectedly.

A look of momentary fluster, of embarrassment, crossed Ling Xinlu’s face.

He had expected him to smile playfully, or chuckle, or ask “Why?” or ignore it, but he hadn’t expected him to make such a face. Ling Xinlu’s flustered and embarrassed face.

It was truly unexpected, so Yuri unconsciously found himself staring at his face.

“…What are you looking at? …Why are you so flustered?”

Ling Xinlu suddenly frowned deeply and pulled his body, which had been leaning towards Yuri, far away. He even turned his head away.

Yuri thought that he probably didn’t like having shown his vulnerable side to someone else, even for a moment, and quietly shook his head, saying, “No.”

Ling Xinlu, who had been looking out the window for a moment, soon turned back to Yuri. His face had returned to its usual expression as if nothing had happened.

“Shall we go up now?”

Saying that, Ling Xinlu gestured upwards with his chin and gave his usual gentle eye-smile. With his usual face, no longer angry or gloomy, Ling Xinlu opened the car door.

And Yuri, seeing Ling Xinlu’s face, realized that the series of emotions caused by the discord that evening had been resolved. No longer entangled or resentful towards each other, back to normal.

Yuri smiled. Though not overtly expressed on his face, he smiled gently with a warmly relaxed heart, and then briefly replied, “Yes,” as he got out of the car.

“By the way.”

As they were just getting into the elevator, Ling Xinlu suddenly spoke as if something had just occurred to him. He hesitated subtly for a moment, then glanced at Yuri, who was quietly waiting for him to continue, and then finished his sentence.

“What was it that Fei said earlier, about doing things that can’t be told to others while staying at Mr. Gable’s house?”

“Huh? …Ah.”

Yuri mumbled indifferently and chuckled. “It’s nothing much,” Yuri said, and to Ling Xinlu, who was giving him a persistent look as if urging him on, he readily revealed his nephew’s—though not blood-related—embarrassing secret.

“Like getting a virus from frequently visiting adult websites on my computer, or wearing my swimsuit as underwear because he hadn’t done laundry for a long time and ran out of clean underwear. It might be a bit embarrassing to tell others, but it’s not something that can’t be told.”

Yuri recalled Fei’s earnest plea, “Don’t tell anyone, Uncle, especially not Xiao Qun, if she finds out, the whole 6 billion people will know.” But considering the chaos of losing two months’ worth of data to a virus and having to restore it, he didn’t feel much guilt.

Besides, it wasn’t Xiao Qun, he muttered to himself. Ling Xinlu looked at Yuri with a somewhat displeased expression.

“Are you still using that swimsuit?”

“…? Yes, it’s perfectly fine.”

Swimsuits nowadays are more durable and sturdy than before, and it wasn’t that long ago. Yuri informed him of the swimsuit’s well-being, but Ling Xinlu seemed displeased and looked at Yuri as if he had something to say.

However, Ling Xinlu, who said nothing to Yuri’s bewildered gaze, merely let out a low click of his tongue as he exited the elevator that had just arrived and opened its doors.

“I suddenly feel a bit tired. …Hurry up and go rub my eyes for me.”