Passion Raga Novel (Completed) - Chapter 24

Ling Xinlu would usually grumble irritably, but if Yuri silently held his ground, he wouldn’t say anything more and would turn his head away. Then, very occasionally, when he felt like it, he would throw out a word or two. Most of them were monologues that didn’t require an answer.

And even now.

After Ling Xinlu had gone into the bedroom early, Yuri, who had been reading a book, turned off the light and lay down. He hadn’t even closed his eyes for long before he got up again. It was because of the silent presence emanating from outside.

He could vaguely sense a presence, almost non-existent like a feline beast, settling onto the sofa. The presence stopped there. Yuri put on his gown and went out. Sure enough, just as he thought, Ling Xinlu was sitting in the dark living room.

“………”

Yuri stood a few steps away, as he always did.

Even in the darkness, the outline of his face was vaguely visible. However, his expression was indiscernible. Yuri silently gazed at his cheek, which was illuminated white by the dim light from outside.

“Today, my headache is quite severe, so I’m not in a good mood at all.”

A low murmur suddenly reached him. It was a voice deeper and more exhausted than usual. No, not exhausted. It was a voice suppressing the anger that surged up, burning within his chest. Barely managing to compose himself.

“On a day like today, why don’t you just not look at me?”

Still, it was much better than the curt “Get lost” he had initially spat out. Yuri didn’t answer or move, letting that serve as his refusal. However, it seemed to have caught in his heart, which had been forcibly swallowing its emotions. Ling Xinlu, who had been silently still for a moment, turned around.

“Just when a person tries to control their feelings and be nice, you just have to pour oil on the fire… Didn’t I tell you your gaze makes me uncomfortable? I don’t know what you’re hoping for.”

“I hope for nothing.”

At Yuri’s short reply, Ling Xinlu’s lips twisted. His expression changed, as if the resentment he had known to be mere venting, confined to the depths of his chest, had found a forced crack to escape through. “So,” he ground out, his voice dropping even lower.

“That’s the problem. I just don’t get it. It would be fine if you had some easily discernible desire, like other people. I know that kind of gaze very well, so I’m used to it and can ignore it. But you say it’s not even a desire, so what is it?”

“…I don’t know.”

Yuri hesitated for a moment but answered honestly.

He was rather more flustered by Ling Xinlu’s question. He had never stared at anyone so blankly before, but no one he had dated and given his heart to for a while had ever pressed him like this. Why are you looking?

Why he liked him, Yuri himself didn’t know. Appearance, personality, way of speaking, actions none of these alone could make one absolutely like the person himself. It was the single human being that emerged from the blend and harmony of all those things that he liked.

Desire. That, too, was not a way Yuri understood. The way Yuri knew was simply to generously embrace and hold everything about that person. Distinct and separate beings, yet sometimes becoming an indistinguishable whole. Yes, like forgetting oneself and swimming in water.

Ling Xinlu watched Yuri, who merely stared at him, not knowing how to express such things, with his dark eyes. Suddenly, his gaze seemed to twist with displeasure. But his lips smiled.

“Well, you have to know the taste of desire to feel it, don’t you? Just like those who know the taste of money crave it more.”

The icy anger in Ling Xinlu’s voice faded. With anger laid deep in his heart, like a predator concealing its killing intent before prey, he lightly gestured with his hand. “Come here,” he added. Yuri hesitated for a moment, but Ling Xinlu waved his hand again, urging him to come, so Yuri approached and sat diagonally beside him.

Ling Xinlu, who had been tapping the spot right next to him with his finger, slowly shifted his gaze between Yuri, who was sitting a little distance away, and the still-empty spot next to him where only his finger tapped, then let out a low breath like a snort.

“I’ve always thought, Mr. Gable, that sometimes you’re in a different world. At least your feet seem about 10 centimeters off the ground.”

“…Is that so?”

Yuri looked down at his feet, which were neatly on the floor. Ling Xinlu twisted his lips as he watched Yuri tap the floor with his heel.

“Is it because you don’t know what you want? Why don’t you try putting your feet on this earth? If you don’t know how, should I help you?”

Yuri stared blankly at Ling Xinlu, who was getting up. Just as he thought his eyes, curved as if in a calm smile, looked strangely twisted, Ling Xinlu had already stopped right in front of Yuri.

“Ling Xinlu-ssi…?”

“Is it good just to look? That must be a lie, right? That’s because you haven’t had it. It’s the most common excuse people who aren’t worthy of desire make when they don’t want to lose their pride. Though you don’t even seem to know that. …Shh.”

Shh, a low whispered breath touched his lips.

Ling Xinlu, who had somehow settled onto Yuri’s thigh, who was sitting neatly in a proper posture, licked Yuri’s lips as if tasting them. He seemed to tilt his head slightly, watching Yuri as if gauging his reaction, then gently inserted his tongue between Yuri’s closed lips. The lips, which had seemed firmly sealed, parted without difficulty. The weight resting lightly on his thigh became heavier. And Yuri remained still, sitting quietly in the reality that the man who had climbed onto his thigh, pressing down with a heavy weight, was gently stroking his cheeks and kissing him.

“You’re very calm,” Ling Xinlu chuckled, his voice barely audible between their briefly parted lips.

Well, of course, he had to be calm. Reality hadn’t quite sunk in.

“……..”

Only after the surreal feeling of his mind going blank faded did Yuri blink. Only then did the warm body heat, the taste of his tongue, and the sensation of the hand stroking his cheek register. He flinched, his body trembling. Ling Xinlu seemed to have noticed that small tremor. The sensation of his overlapping lips twisting in amusement was conveyed.

Soon, the hand that had been stroking his cheek gently but firmly grasped Yuri’s head. Almost simultaneously, the sensation of lips delving in took on a full-blown heat. The hot warmth that instantly stole his breath occupied his mouth, and then his mind.

“…….!”

He felt a strong scent from somewhere. The scent of a large, flamboyant flower, paralyzing his mind. Yuri thought in his hazy consciousness that it was the man himself.

He hadn’t even realized at first that he, too, had begun to suck on Ling Xinlu’s tongue. He only realized it when Ling Xinlu’s movements briefly slowed, as if surprised. Slowly, gently, little by little, as if flowing with his rough, intensely exploring movements.

” . !!”

Ling Xinlu, who had paused for a moment, seemed to slowly match Yuri’s pace. A feeling of gentleness suddenly arose. The hand that stroked his jaw, then moved down to his neck, collarbone, and chest, and his front, which gently rubbed against Yuri’s thigh, pressing down all were tender and soft movements, as if done to someone truly loved.

Watching Ling Xinlu, who was closing his eyes and gently biting Yuri’s cheek with his lips, from an almost invisible distance, Yuri vaguely thought such things in his hazy mind. Along with the thought that sharing body heat with this lovely person was like a dream he knew it was a dream within reality.

Still, he was lovely. The moment he thought that, his mind grew warm. A sweet scent filled his head. His heart grew as hot as his head. That’s why. Yuri looked at him, who was kissing his cheek and ear, then pressed his lips to Ling Xinlu’s cheek.

At that moment, Ling Xinlu stopped moving. He lowered his face slightly and looked at Yuri. His face looked strange, so Yuri, not knowing what his own face looked like, stared back at him intently. Thinking, he was lovely.

Ling Xinlu, who had been staring intently at Yuri for a moment, suddenly whispered.

“Feeling.”

“Huh?”

“Isn’t it good?”

Isn’t it good? he asked, his hand gently stroking Yuri’s arm, tender yet somewhat languid.

Yuri was silent for a moment, then nodded honestly. His heart was still throbbing warmly. Seeing Yuri like that, Ling Xinlu smiled with his eyes. “I knew it,” he said, and lightly kissed Yuri’s ear.

“And yet, is it still good just to look?”

It was a sweet voice, like candy luring a child.

As if waiting for a child to say it’s not true, that they want that candy.

“……..”

Yuri blinked, feeling the sensation of lips rubbing against his cheek. He asked, still breathing sweetly and tinglingly.

“Ling Xinlu-ssi, do you feel good?”

The lips that had been moving on his cheek stopped. After lingering for a moment, the lips parted. Ling Xinlu, now at a distance where his expression could be discerned, looked down at Yuri. He gazed intently, searching every corner of his face as if trying to find something.

The next moment, the hand that had been cupping Yuri’s cheek also fell away.

“You really know how to deflate someone… How can you say that when your breathing is so exciting?”

Yuri felt a chill as the darkness entered through the open collar of his shirt, regretting the warmth that had left with Ling Xinlu’s annoyed click of his tongue. Ling Xinlu looked down at Yuri, who was silently bowing his head, then clicked his tongue again with a “Tsk,” and sighed.

“Still, it wasn’t as unpleasant as I thought. Yes, well, it was better than I thought. Surprisingly. …If it felt good, why are you looking at me like that?”

Ling Xinlu, who had just licked his fingers that had been stroking Yuri’s lips, frowned slightly as he saw Yuri staring at him with an expressionless face.

“If I still haven’t developed that ‘desire’ you speak of, Ling Xinlu-ssi, then you’ve wasted your efforts.”

The moment Yuri spoke slowly, Ling Xinlu’s expression vanished. He looked at Yuri without expression, then tilted his head and asked.

“You don’t feel desire? …So it’s funny? That I wasted my efforts?”

Yuri thought for a moment, then shook his head.

“I don’t know.”

“………”

Ling Xinlu, who had been staring intently at Yuri, suddenly turned his head slightly. “Ha,” he chuckled.

“You’re truly a strange human… Just when I think you’re interesting, you instantly get on my nerves. It’s not easy to do this, is it, huh?”

Ling Xinlu bent down towards Yuri again. His eyes, looking closely at Yuri, were dangerously curved.

“Shall I try to get on your nerves too? If I set my mind to it, getting on someone’s nerves isn’t difficult. Making someone upset.”

Isn’t that right? he whispered into Yuri’s ear. Warm body heat transferred from his closely pressed body. With a clear intention, the flesh rubbing slowly against his lower body felt distinctly voluminous.

“Don’t you desire it? You can do whatever you want now. I’ll allow it.”

A sweet voice. A sweet scent. He whispered as if pouring honey into Yuri’s ear, then gently bit his earlobe.