Passion Raga Novel (Completed) - Chapter 23

Ling Xinlu, looking at Yuri with narrowed eyes, extended his bandaged ankle. He also lifted his chin. Only then did Yuri, like a fool, awkwardly mutter, ‘Oh, right.’ Ling Xinlu, who had been looking at Yuri as if he were truly an idiot, continued, as if to drive the point home, “Besides,”

“I think I told you. I don’t swim. I almost died in the water, and I don’t feel like getting in the water now.”

Come to think of it, he wondered where that bastard who just watched while a child was dying was, he had thought even as he was losing consciousness back then that if he survived, he would definitely catch and kill that bastard with his own hands, Yuri listened to his muttering in silence.

From what Yuri had heard, there were three people Ling Xinlu wanted to eliminate: Riegrow, Yuri himself, and that bystander from his childhood.

……One less effort to make.

“But if what you say is truly accurate, that’s quite appealing. If heavy thoughts melt away like salt.”

Ling Xinlu, leaning deeply into the bench, closed his eyes as if about to fall asleep and muttered languidly. ‘Then that pool would instantly become like the Dead Sea,’ he muttered to himself.

Yuri silently watched him. He watched him, motionless as if truly asleep, then lifted the corner of the towel that generously covered his shoulders and rubbed his dripping hair.

“It’s been like that since I was little.”

The words that suddenly slipped out were low, like a monologue.

“When I was submerged in water, it felt like my thoughts were melting out of my body. My suffering was diluted, and I forgot about the pain. So there were times when I practically lived in the water.”

Perhaps he himself was originally a person with more intense emotions. Someone who desired more fiercely, cried and threw tantrums, stomped and raged, and cheered loudly and clapped his hands in joy. But such emotions had, without his knowing, melted into the water.

However, even with more gentle and calmly flowing emotions, Yuri valued his feelings and always listened to them. What he truly wanted. Even now.

“I’ve never seen you smile. I wish I could see such a face.”

He wished this beautiful and pitiful young man would smile. Truly, happily.

He wanted to see that face he had never seen before. But it was okay if the person who saw it wasn’t him.

Yuri closed his mouth. He silently swallowed a breath, gazing at Ling Xinlu, who had his eyes closed and whose thoughts were unknown.

“Shall we go up? It’s cold for you to be dressed so lightly.”

Yuri, looking at Ling Xinlu who showed no intention of moving despite surely not being asleep and having heard him, draped the towel he had been wearing, though slightly damp, over Ling Xinlu’s shoulders. Only then did Ling Xinlu open his eyes slightly.

“What would be cold about taking the towel from someone who’s completely naked and wrapping it around yourself? ……Take it. The towel is wet and unpleasant.”

Ling Xinlu pulled the towel from his shoulders and threw it back at Yuri. Then he looked at Yuri with displeased eyes.

“Do you know the expression ‘unthinkable ambition’?”

At the sudden inclusion of Chinese, Yuri looked at Ling Xinlu bewildered for a moment but soon nodded.

“I know.”

“Good. Then I’ll tell you, I don’t dislike you. You’re somewhat interesting, and surprisingly, I don’t feel uncomfortable being with you. Sometimes you’re funny, even enjoyable. If you just consider that, I probably like you quite a bit more than average. ……But, when my eyes hurt, or when I suddenly hate that bastard so much I want to blow his head off, at times like that, even you become unbearable and hateful. I know in my head that you didn’t have ill intentions and even did things for my sake, but my emotions are like that. ‘Why did you butt in?’ ‘Why were you there to make me more miserable?’ Those emotions can’t be controlled by reason.”

Yuri closed his mouth. Ling Xinlu, who had been speaking calmly without agitation, suddenly fell silent as if recalling that memory, then let out a bitter breath and massaged his wrinkled brow for a moment. His gaze seemed to flick towards Yuri’s fingers, which were covered in tattered bandages. Those were the fingers he had bitten just recently. Another short sigh escaped him.

“But I know you’re not a bad person, and I know you try for my sake, so I’ll tell you this.”

“………”

“Wish for what you can wish for. My smiling face isn’t something just anyone can see just because they want to.”

Ling Xinlu, who had been looking directly at Yuri, speaking with a serious expression, words that were hard to tell if they were a joke or truth, suddenly broke into a bright smile. It was that bright, beautiful smile he often generously showed to those around him. And then he pointed to himself.

“You don’t want to see this face, do you?”

This formal, artificial face.

Yuri realized that Ling Xinlu understood him as much as he understood Ling Xinlu. Or perhaps Ling Xinlu knew his own heart even better. ‘Actually, such a face can’t be made at will,’ he added in a light tone, and Yuri stared at him intently. Then he shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“It’s okay if the person who sees it isn’t me. Anywhere is fine.”

As long as he truly smiled happily. It was okay if he wasn’t the one to see that face, beautiful as heaven. ……Perhaps the man who wanted to keep Jeong Taeui by his side by any means necessary wouldn’t understand this kind of talk.

As Yuri expected, Ling Xinlu frowned in disbelief, then opened his eyes slightly. He shifted his gaze to the calmly settled pool, then shrugged and said, “Well,”

“Maybe I would too, if I ever found my ‘water’.”

When Yuri looked puzzled, Ling Xinlu gave his usual beautiful smile again.

“You said that when you’re in the water, heavy thoughts all melt away. If I had something like that, I’d smile like that too. Even though I don’t know what that ‘something’ is.”

Ling Xinlu soon erased his smile indifferently, muttering, “It’s a bit chilly,” and got up from the bench. He rubbed his arms, having only put on a loose shirt, then glanced at Yuri. Yuri, who had been silently watching him ask, “Aren’t you cold?”, suddenly asked.

“Can I look at your other faces?”

“……..”

“I mean, your usual—your normal face, like now.”

‘I don’t know how to fix the unpleasant gaze, though,’ Yuri rambled on, uncharacteristically for him. Ling Xinlu, who had been staring silently at Yuri, suddenly snorted, “Ha,” at some point.

“This old man, just because I look a little better, he suddenly gets greedy.”

“Is it not allowed?”

Ling Xinlu frowned slightly. He openly showed a face that conveyed, ‘What a nuisance this is,’ as he looked at Yuri, but Yuri didn’t avert his gaze and silently met his eyes.

Eventually.

“Look.”

The answer came out abruptly, in a very displeased tone. His tone and expression were like, ‘What are you looking at?’, so Yuri, who had momentarily wilted and lowered his head, looked up again after about a second, saying, “Oh.”

“Don’t look too obviously. And not when I’m in a bad mood.”

‘Well, that much is fine,’ Ling Xinlu said, shrugging his shoulders as if being very generous, and Yuri stared at him intently, then nodded. “Yes, I will,” he said curtly.

It was good. Lovely and cute, even the slightly twisted inside. It was good to take in every vibrant, dazzling detail. So, from the moment those words fell, he kept looking at him. Yes, even knowing that he would subtly frown like this before long.

‘Good grief,’ Ling Xinlu muttered, looking at Yuri with a somewhat troubled or embarrassed expression, then turned his gaze away and blurted out.

“Why don’t you smile like that more often?”

Only then did Yuri realize his own expression had relaxed, and he touched his face, blinking. Ling Xinlu, whether he noticed or not, turned and began walking towards the building.

“It’s cold, let’s go up. ……You’ll need to re-tape those fingers too. They’re all wet.”

Yuri quickly followed behind him, answering, “Yes,” as he walked alone without looking back. His fingers didn’t hurt at all now.

Yuri received the news while he was waiting for Ling Xinlu at the hospital.

After finishing his consultation with Dr. Bayern about the results of the morning’s examination—he was waiting outside because Yuri didn’t want to consult with anyone else, but he would find out the results through James anyway—Yuri, who was breaking cookies for the pigeons gathered in the sunny hospital courtyard, glanced at the hospital entrance when he saw James’s name on his phone screen.

‘Had Dr. Bayern already contacted James even though Ling Xinlu hadn’t come out yet?’ Yuri wondered as he answered the phone, and James’s words, immediately after a formal greeting, were: ‘Jeong Taeui has been confirmed to be at Al Saud’s villa.’

“………”

Even though he had suspected it, he was speechless for a moment. Yuri threw the remaining cookies far away and got up.

“How was it confirmed?”

“『Rick said he called him directly. He’s currently at Al Saud’s villa with Jeong Jaeui.』”

“I see. The current situation is……”

“『He hung up quickly, as if he made a secret call, so I couldn’t confirm that much, but given that there’s no mention of other issues, he probably isn’t in a dangerous state.』”

At that moment, Ling Xinlu was seen coming out of the hospital with light steps, holding a bag of medicine in one hand. Instead of the thick bandage that covered half his face, he wore an eye patch and sunglasses. He lightly raised a hand to Yuri and approached him. Then, seeing Yuri talking on the phone with a strange expression, staring intently at him, he stopped nearby with an odd glint in his eyes.

“……Since contact has been made, it’s better to hurry.”

“『That’s right. It would be troublesome if he moved locations in the meantime. Well, anyway, Yuri, you’ve worked hard. Jeong Jaeui’s location has been confirmed.』”

‘The efforts of several months have finally come to an end,’ James added, and Yuri muttered a perfunctory, “Yes.” With this, the contract was complete. The initial objective, Jeong Jaeui’s whereabouts, had been confirmed, and Yuri’s work was over. The rest was for those who needed Jeong Jaeui to handle.

“『I’ll contact you later about the re-contract. For now, as you said, we need to hurry.』”

“Then,” and the call ended.

Ling Xinlu had been silently watching Yuri put his phone back into his pocket for a while.

“Did they find him?”

Yuri nodded, sensing a subtly alien emotion in his otherwise normal voice.

“Where was he?”

“He’s at Rahman Abid Al Saud’s villa, with Jeong Jaeui.”

“How did they manage to confirm that?”

“Mr. Jeong Taeui contacted Mr. Riegrow directly.”

After a short silence, a brief answer returned: “Hmm, I see.”

After that, there was almost no conversation between them on the way back to the hotel. He asked about his eye, but only a perfunctory answer of “It’s still the same” came back. Ling Xinlu, with an unreadable expression, only looked out the window.

His recovery was fast, with almost no external wounds remaining. When the bandage was removed, he looked no different from an ordinary person. There was no abnormality in his eye movement, so it would be difficult to notice that one of his eyes was impaired unless one already knew. His body had also returned almost to its previous state.

For the past few days, Ling Xinlu seemed to be in a much better mood. At least, his mood had recovered to a similar extent as when he occasionally encountered Yuri in Seringe before he was injured.

When night grew late and his physical condition became sluggish, his mood seemed to sink unpleasantly as well, but as his wounds healed, the pain no longer seemed as severe as before, so he no longer woke up and thrashed around at night.

Instead, he developed mild insomnia, and if he woke up in the middle of the night, he would find it hard to fall back asleep, so he developed a habit of coming out to the living room and sitting in the dark for a while—if a few days of continuous behavior could be called a habit—. And whenever that happened, Yuri, who was a light sleeper and woke easily at the slightest sound, would soon get up and go to the living room, standing silently behind Ling Xinlu at a certain distance.

‘Ah… really… I just want to be alone, do you have to interrupt like that?’