Passion Novel - Volume 6 - Chapter 149

He squeezed out the last bit of strength left in his body and yelled. But Ilay, whom he had expected to get angry—Jeong Taeui was practically resigned, thinking do whatever you want, get angry or not, kill me or save me—did not get angry. Instead, he chuckled, seeming pleased. A low chuckle disappeared into Jeong Taeui’s mouth.

“Are you going to run away again?”

Jeong Taeui, who had barely understood the words whispered with their lips pressed together, slowly lifted his heavy eyelids to look at Ilay. His face, still looking down with eyes mixed with madness and heat, was right before him.

I told you I wasn’t running away. I was on my way back to you just now.

Now that there was nothing blocking his mouth, he could speak, but Jeong Taeui was too exhausted to even open his mouth. He shook his head weakly. It was a very slight, almost imperceptible movement, but Ilay seemed to understand. He sucked Jeong Taeui’s tongue into his mouth and bit it gently.

“Jeong Taeui.”

Suddenly, he heard his name being called. Hearing that strangely clear pronunciation—there were times when his pronunciation was surprisingly distinct. This guy must have secretly practiced his pronunciation—Jeong Taeui closed his eyes. Exhausted, his whole body felt like waterlogged cotton.

Slowly, he turned Jeong Taeui’s body to lay him flat. When he laid him on the bed, Jeong Taeui, limp and strengthless, sprawled out like a corpse.

But he couldn’t rest for long. Jeong Taeui, who had been lying there thinking vaguely that he couldn’t get up even if he was beaten to death, opened his eyes at the heavy weight on him. Ilay got on top of Jeong Taeui, almost lying on him. Jeong Taeui was instantly terrified.

No. I’ll really die. If this happens even one more time, I’ll surely die. Ilay seemed to have read the light in Jeong Taeui’s wide eyes. Ilay, who was practically sprawled on Jeong Taeui’s body, let out a dry laugh.

The moment he saw that laugh, he thought, Ah. This guy’s sanity is somewhat back. Before, he was like a madman who’d left his mind somewhere, but now he’s a madman with some sanity returned.

“It’s okay. I won’t be rough now. …If you keep your word nicely, I won’t be rough. Come on, don’t cry, don’t be scared, just stay still…”

He felt a subtle surge of emotion. That tone, as if comforting a child, was somehow very annoying. What do you mean I’m crying? he was about to say, when he suddenly came to his senses and realized he was indeed crying uncontrollably without knowing it. The moment he realized he was crying, Jeong Taeui suddenly felt sorrowful. It was because he understood the reason for his tears.

How do I deal with a madman like this? It seems I’ve picked the wrong side, what should I do? While Jeong Taeui sighed helplessly to himself, Ilay spread his legs and pushed his hips between them. Jeong Taeui’s barely audible cries grew a little louder.

“It’s okay. Good boy. Just stay still. …I’ll just keep it inside. I’ll just keep it inside without moving, really. It’s just because it feels good, so just stay still. It’ll be over once it’s in.”

Ilay whispered, patting Jeong Taeui’s cheek with his lips. Meanwhile, he kept spreading Jeong Taeui’s legs, pushing his hips between them, regardless of Jeong Taeui’s head shakes. His stomach churned from the slowly sliding, penetrating pressure.

Finally, when the penis was more than halfway in, pressing hard against his body, Jeong Taeui finally bit back another sob that was about to escape. Ilay, who had been looking down at Jeong Taeui with a slight frown, sighed silently.

“Alright, then that’s enough for today. …Stay still, you need to adjust your body to my thing for your comfort in the future.”

With those words, he lay on top of Jeong Taeui’s body. For a moment, dozens of arguments against that statement flashed through Jeong Taeui’s mind. But he didn’t have the energy to lay them out, and it was obvious they wouldn’t make a difference anyway.

If I adjust my body to your thing, I’ll be suffering before I even grow old… He thought to himself, growing gloomy. Jeong Taeui let out a long sigh.

Their chests, rising and falling with each breath, overlapped in a subtle misalignment. Their bellies touched. Jeong Taeui slowly, very slowly, released the tension from his body at the warmth conveyed by their touching skin.

This kind of hardship was something he would decline a second time. It seemed he needed to rethink his allegiance. Taking care of him felt too overwhelming.

“Jeong Taeui. …You, you like me, don’t you?”

Ilay, who had called his name again with clear pronunciation—sometimes his pronunciation was surprisingly clear. This guy must have secretly practiced his pronunciation—paused for a moment before continuing. Jeong Taeui’s eyes shot open. Though he said “shot open,” he barely managed to lift his eyelids due to lack of strength.

Did I just hear something strange? Jeong Taeui frowned and opened his mouth, but then, perhaps imagining it, the body pressed against him below seemed to sway, his hips lifting slightly, and he closed his mouth again. Meanwhile, with a dazed mind, he recalled what Ilay had said.

—Jeong Taeui. You like me, don’t you?

Is that so…? He unconsciously thought for a moment. Then he suddenly came to his senses, recalling a research result he’d seen somewhere that said suggestions work better on people who are physically and mentally exhausted.

But his suddenly clear mind slowly lost its strength again. And he thought again. Do I really like this guy?

The moment that question arose, the past suddenly flashed before his eyes like a kaleidoscope. That past was primarily images of Ilay Riegrow, and with each image, Jeong Taeui grew more and more gloomy.

No, he’s not someone I could like.

What evil deeds has this guy not committed? Has he not committed murder, rape, robbery…? He couldn’t remember anything about robbery, but this guy would have calmly committed robbery if he hadn’t been born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

…No, come to think of it, he did commit robbery. Though the items were different, he once snatched Xinlu from him, didn’t he? And now, somehow, it was the other way around.

To like such a person, one would have to be a saint, or an idiot. …Or perhaps, schizophrenic.

Jeong Taeui suddenly felt a chill run down his spine and shook his head. Just then, Ilay’s lips, touching his neck, moved. A languid voice traveled up his neck to his ear.

“Back then, when you called.” His voice suddenly lowered. “You said it then. That you liked me.”

At that resolute ending, Jeong Taeui, with a dazed mind, forced himself to recall his memories. But he could say with certainty that he had no memory of saying such a thing. But had this man heard it that way? That he liked him.

“So I thought. I clearly thought then. This is mine.”

“…” Jeong Taeui didn’t reply. He was too exhausted to open his mouth, but the body heat transmitted from their clasped bodies felt good, and listening to the low, murmuring voice wasn’t bad either.

“And just before you hung up, when you asked me if I liked you.”

When Ilay brought that up, Jeong Taeui subtly flinched. That’s right. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t heard the answer yet. He had a clear feeling in his heart that he would, but the call had been cut off before he could hear Ilay’s answer.

An answer, huh. In truth, he didn’t specifically want any particular answer. If he said he hated him, it wouldn’t be a very pleasant feeling, but he had heard far more unpleasant things. If he said he liked him… that would be a bit troublesome too. He had a premonition that if that happened, things would get out of hand.

No, you don’t have to answer that… he was about to say, when Ilay’s voice suddenly cut off. The broken-off voice didn’t continue for a long time. How much time had passed? He thought he wouldn’t answer. What was that, saying something and then falling asleep? But Jeong Taeui, who was panting under the heavy weight on his body, slowly drifted off to sleep.

Uncle… anyway, I didn’t die. Though I really thought I would. Jeong Taeui suddenly mumbled to himself, recalling his uncle’s worried voice.

Flicker, flicker, as he floated between the boundary of sleep and reality, slowly letting his consciousness drift beyond reality, he suddenly heard a low voice from afar.

“Even so… you’re still mine.”

With that low, quiet remark, he felt something touch his cheek from his ear. It was a familiar sensation, one he could recognize even with his eyes closed.

What’s that logic…? Jeong Taeui thought, his mind hazily blurring. At the very edge of his fading consciousness, he suddenly felt a strong, firm arm tightly embracing his waist.

“You’re mine, Taei.”

When Jeong Taeui opened his eyes, the first thing he thought, with a dazed mind, was, ‘I’m alive…’ He was sure he would die, but he was alive.

Jeong Taeui raised his hand. His shoulder hurt as if it would fall off. Not just his shoulder, his entire arm, from his elbow to his fingertips, ached. If he gently wiggled his fingers, it didn’t actually hurt. But his skin throbbed, making it feel truly painful. The reason his skin throbbed like this was because someone had thoroughly massaged it.

“…” 

There wasn’t a single part of his arms, legs, or head that hadn’t been grasped by that rough hand. It wouldn’t be strange if his entire body felt like it had muscle aches. He slowly sent sensation through each part of his body. Though his whole body ached, it seemed nothing was actually injured. Seeing that he had no sensation below his waist, he knew he would suffer for a few more days.

Jeong Taeui stared at the ceiling with a slightly tense face, then slowly lowered his hand. The moment he stirred slightly, his lower back immediately throbbed with pain.

“…! …! …!!” 

His waist felt like it would break. But what hurt even more was between his legs, deep inside. Jeong Taeui swallowed a silent groan and trembled.

A sudden worry struck him. What if it’s really torn badly? It had torn once before, and he had suffered every time he went to the bathroom for days. Jeong Taeui swallowed a sigh, recalling the unspeakable and incredibly troublesome suffering he’d endured then.

What to do…? Jeong Taeui deliberated for a moment. He soon made a firm decision and, enduring the throbbing pain, cautiously felt between his buttocks with his hand.

“Ack…! …!!!” 

The moment his fingertip brushed the entrance inside his buttocks, Jeong Taeui trembled. He couldn’t see it, but he could feel it instinctively: the injured entrance was pitifully swollen, and it seemed it wouldn’t heal for at least a hundred years. Perhaps it was even torn.

“If I ever do this with that bastard again, I’ll change my surname…!” 

Jeong Taeui gritted his teeth and groaned, but then his characteristic timidity returned, and he flinched, closing his mouth.

He slowly turned his head a few centimeters, moving minimally, and only shifted his eyes to the side. He had expected him to be lying there, but the spot was empty. Bathroom? Or had he stepped out for a moment? He lay still, listening for any sign. He felt nothing. He didn’t feel like getting up and looking around, but from the lack of sound, Jeong Taeui seemed to be alone. He let out a quiet sigh. Life wasn’t worth living if he couldn’t even move his mouth freely.

“…Damn it. I’m going to end up in the grave first dealing with this madman… I picked the wrong side.” 

Jeong Taeui mumbled weakly. Slowly, his memories from before he fell asleep returned.

In the end, his grievances were not resolved. Instead, a new layer of injustice was added, wondering if his sins were truly so great as to deserve such harsh treatment.

“…” 

Jeong Taeui suddenly closed his mouth.

A dog chasing chickens. His uncle’s words came to mind. As much as he didn’t want to hear it, those words were, in a way, true. What must Ilay have felt then? When Jeong Taeui retreated right before his eyes.

Suddenly, his chest throbbed with a dull ache. His breathing became a little shallow. Perhaps it wasn’t something to feel so wronged about, he thought, trying to console himself.

“…” 

On the other hand, he thought that perhaps he wasn’t in a situation to be thinking such thoughts.

It seemed he might have picked the wrong path after all. Of course, he knew that the man named Ilay Riegrow was not human. It wasn’t just that he wasn’t humane; now, he seriously suspected that he might not even be biologically human. His stamina was extraordinary, beyond normal. And when he thought about it carefully, his mind was also extraordinary.

Even to save someone, one wouldn’t usually use such violent and destructive—or, depending on one’s perspective, self-destructive—methods. Was it truly a good thing that he had returned to that man, or to be precise, had been caught trying to return?

Serious doubts arose. Thinking about his aching body made him even more gloomy. Should he really take care of such a person? The more he thought about before falling asleep, the less confidence he had in handling such a violent man, a man for whom the word ‘care’ felt too overwhelming.

Logically, the best course of action was to run away. Of course, if he was caught again, a horrific situation he couldn’t even imagine would unfold. He might be torn apart and eaten alive. But even taking such a risk, fleeing a thousand miles away was the best option for living a proper life.

“How on earth do I take care of that…?” 

Jeong Taeui mumbled, then paused for a moment and changed a part of his words. Who on earth would take care of that?

He could clearly state that there was no human being who could take care of that man. He could guarantee it. At best, if one were to survive carefully and shrewdly, then,

“…It’s me…” 

Jeong Taeui mumbled softly, burying his face deep in the blanket.

—You’re mine, Taei.

Suddenly, that low, affectionate whisper revived in his ear. Just before falling asleep. The heavy body on top of him had whispered like that, as if sighing.

“…’Mine,’ my ass…” 

Jeong Taeui grumbled sullenly. But as he grumbled, he moved his aching arms and pulled the blanket all the way up. He pulled it tight up to his neck, covering his eyes. His neck instantly flushed, indicating his face below must have been red.

How did I end up like this? Recalling a thought he’d had countless times but never resolved, Jeong Taeui tore at his hair. 

“I really need to run away as soon as possible, if only to cure this guy’s schizophrenia…”

“Jeong Taei. Are you dreaming now, or have you woken up and come to your senses?”

If only his body had been fine, he would have jumped to the ceiling. Jeong Taeui’s heart sank at the sudden voice that popped out from a room he firmly believed was empty. Forgetting the pain in his body, he whirled around to see Ilay sitting on a single couch, hidden in the shade of a large potted plant between the desk and the window. He didn’t seem to be doing anything in particular, just looking at him with his arms crossed, contentedly. Jeong Taeui stared at him blankly with wide eyes, desperately trying to recall his memories. Damn, what did I say just now?

Ilay calmly stared at Jeong Taeui’s frowning face, showing no sign of being offended. Perhaps he was deep in thought.

“Why are you sitting there without making a sound?”

“Hmm—?” 

When Jeong Taeui muttered curtly, Ilay replied slowly, as if he had been distracted or was still distracted now. He still looked at Jeong Taeui with narrow eyes that seemed somewhat languid.

“I was thinking a bit.” 

He finally said, a faint smile on his lips.

Yes, it looked that way. And Jeong Taeui somehow felt uneasy about that thought. It felt like his own fate was being weighed on a scale. Ilay slowly stood up. And walked towards the bed where Jeong Taeui was lying.

Standing right next to the bed, he looked down at Jeong Taeui. Jeong Taeui, barely enduring his aching body, managed to sit up, sweating profusely as he subtly leaned against the headboard of the bed because it was too difficult to sit up alone. And he met Ilay’s gaze, not to be outdone.

“First of all, let me tell you.” 

He began. Jeong Taeui’s heart tensed, and he furtively watched his mouth. 

“It’s not torn. It’s a bit chafed and swollen, but it’ll heal in a few days.”

“…” 

He saw it. Jeong Taeui thought with a bitter taste in his mouth, recalling the moment he had touched his own entrance and writhed in pain just a moment ago.

“And another thing.” 

Ilay spoke again. Jeong Taeui flinched again. At the same time, he thought gloomily, Can’t a person just talk to themselves and complain a little… No, I wasn’t even complaining just now.

“You’ll have to change your surname.”

At Ilay’s indifferent words, Jeong Taeui stared at him blankly for a moment, wondering, “Huh?” He tried to recall what he had said, but nothing came to mind. In fact, he couldn’t remember everything he had said. He seemed to be wondering what those words meant, and as Ilay looked down at him, he seemed to let out a short laugh and mumbled to himself, ‘Taei Riegrow would be fine,’ but he wasn’t sure.

“And another thing.” 

When Ilay uttered those words for the third time, Jeong Taeui flinched for the third time and cursed internally.

What kind of good memory do you have to point out every single detail? This time, he frowned slightly, wondering what would come out, but Ilay was silent for a moment.

Suddenly, he took another step towards the bed. And he leaned over, bending his body over Jeong Taeui. Jeong Taeui frowned, looking suspiciously at his face, which was now right above his forehead. What else is there to say?

“Don’t even think about running away.” 

A quiet voice echoed right in front of him. Jeong Taeui just looked at him silently.

Come to think of it, he had vaguely said something like that. He had clearly thought for a moment earlier that it would be good for his life plan to escape as quickly as possible. Ilay’s voice, telling him not to even think about running away, was calm and quiet. Somewhat unexpectedly, there was no hint of rough anger or threatening intimidation. He said it as calmly as if he were telling him to eat.

“No third time.” 

He continued. Jeong Taeui just listened to his words.

With a calm face, just like his voice, Ilay looked at Jeong Taeui’s face for a moment. He looked everywhere, as if trying to find something within it, then he opened his mouth again.

“This time too, I was really going to kill you. I was more than half serious about killing you and swallowing you whole to make sure you could never run away again.”

“…” 

Jeong Taeui lowered his gaze. Even as he spoke like that, the man named Ilay showed no sign of regret or apology for such thoughts. He truly could do it with a calm face whenever he pleased.

His heart trembled slightly. Will it really be okay? The thought in his heart sighed.

“So, no third time. The third time, I’ll truly kill you. So don’t do that. …Please.”

At the last word, Jeong Taeui raised his head. That last word, which he had never expected to hear from this man’s mouth, felt quite unfamiliar. At that common phrase, which anyone would easily say, Jeong Taeui’s fingertips flinched again.

…Did this man really lose his inhumanity and leave it behind…?

Jeong Taeui suddenly thought seriously. When he had said it to Xinlu, those words were Jeong Taeui’s true feelings, but the words themselves contained a certain degree of jest. Jeong Taeui smiled faintly.

This felt pretty good too. Occasionally, unexpectedly, whenever he discovered something surprising about this man—most of which were regrettably ordinary things for anyone else—he would suddenly chuckle.

“I was about to go back.” 

Jeong Taeui opened his mouth.

Ilay raised an eyebrow. And tilted his head slightly, as if he didn’t understand what he meant.

“When I was waiting for the airport bus. I was going to the airport to go back to you.” 

Jeong Taeui shrugged and said with a sigh. Now that he had said it, a faint feeling of injustice and anger welled up again… but let’s just let it go. Consider it the price for discovering unexpected things one by one.

He looked up, and Ilay was looking at Jeong Taeui. He had a very peculiar expression. He was looking at Jeong Taeui with an indescribable face, as if he had heard something extremely bizarre. As that strange gaze came closer, Jeong Taeui felt unnecessarily awkward and scratched his head. And he, too, raised an eyebrow and met his gaze.

“…It’s not a lie.”

Jeong Taeui added, thinking that was probably the meaning behind the strange gaze. Ilay then, whether he really thought so, or simply found it unexpected, or had another thought, faintly nodded as if he was about to, but gave no reply.

Jeong Taeui scratched his head vigorously. The guy who had been talking so well just a moment ago suddenly fell silent, and the whole world became quiet. This made his mind strangely unable to calm down.

Then suddenly.

“Just as much as I put on the line.” 

Ilay opened his mouth. Jeong Taeui, having misheard, asked, 

“Huh?”

“Just as much as I put on the line, just as much as I put on the line for you. You just need to return that much.” 

The tone was calm.

Jeong Taeui listened to his voice, which spoke as if greeting someone in passing. And after a while of thinking, he asked suspiciously.

“…Is it possible that amount is a bit large…?”

Hearing that, Ilay’s face suddenly broke into a deep smile. It was a thick, big smile that looked as if he was about to burst into laughter.

“Well. Not confident?”

At his ambiguous reply, Jeong Taeui slowly scratched his head and muttered. “No, I should give back as much as I received. As much as you lost.” Jeong Taeui recalled the many things Ilay had lost. It felt like it wouldn’t be easy to return them.

“Because of this incident, you must have lost a lot.” 

He wanted to add, ‘You thoughtless, plan-less bastard who just rushes in’, but he swallowed the words. At Jeong Taeui’s words, Ilay made a strange face for a very brief moment. But before Jeong Taeui could notice and send him a puzzled look, he just gave a dry laugh as if nothing was wrong.

“Yes, just give that much. …It might be a bit overwhelming, but I’ll get it one way or another.”

The last words were faint, almost a soliloquy. Jeong Taeui turned his head, vaguely asking “Huh?”, but Ilay just shrugged with a faint smile.

Jeong Taeui stared fixedly at the bathroom door. It was fine that he had sat on the toilet, and it was fine that he had finished his business after a terrible struggle, but now, looking at it again, the bathroom door seemed too far away.

“Should I call that bastard again…?” 

He thought about it for a moment, then Jeong Taeui shook his head. That wasn’t a very wise choice. He had received Ilay’s help to get here. It was embarrassing, but he truly couldn’t move a single step.