Passion Novel - Volume 5 - Chapter 126

“You said you had to meet him, so it must be good that you met him. Did seeing him after a long time ease your longing?”

Jeong Taeui thought for a few seconds after hearing the sentence with the missing subject, then finally realized what he was saying. He had been a little dazed, preoccupied with his own early symptoms of schizophrenia.

“Ah… right… right, I met him.”

Jeong Taeui nodded, recalling Xinlu. He was both the same as he remembered and completely different. Jeong Taeui pondered for a moment, then let out a bitter smile and a sigh.

“I never thought he’d have a marksman ready to kill me, though.”

“Haha, so you pushed me in the direction of the marksman?”

His voice was tinged with a pleasant laugh, almost a sneer. Jeong Taeui closed his mouth. Then, he glanced at Ilay.

Come to think of it, he had. When he went to see Xinlu’s wrist, he had pulled Ilay and placed him between the marksman and himself. In essence, it was no different from saying, “Shoot this guy instead of me.” The moment that thought occurred to him, Jeong Taeui felt a brief sense of relief. His mind, which had been worried about possibly having schizophrenia, seemed to calm down a bit.

“I couldn’t help it.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled a sighing excuse and shrugged. He hadn’t accurately predicted that Xinlu might try to take his life. It was perhaps closer to instinct. Trying to avoid potential danger somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness.

“Why? Did you think I wouldn’t die even if I got shot?” Ilay asked, still smirking. Jeong Taeui mused, “Hmm,” then said, “That too, but I suddenly remembered something. But when I thought about it, you…”

Jeong Taeui stopped speaking mid-sentence. He remembered only after he had started speaking. Come to think of it, this wasn’t a very good memory. Perhaps it was a memory that didn’t matter much in this situation anymore.

“You slept with Xinlu. So I thought you wouldn’t kill him.”

At that moment, the lips that had climbed up his inner arm, near his armpit, stopped. The smile vanished from his face. Jeong Taeui sullenly twisted his mouth, pondering, and mumbled, “Hmm.”

Come to think of it, that was true. If he had to compare, Ilay could be said to have a deeper relationship with Xinlu than Jeong Taeui did. For whatever reason, they had slept together, and hadn’t they also rubbed shoulders with each other in their true forms? To put it slightly differently, he had accidentally gotten caught in the love triangle between these two.

Jeong Taeui, who had been seriously considering, Can’t I just quietly step away and let the two of them continue their entanglement? suddenly cried out, “Ouch!”

Just below his armpit, on the tender flesh of his inner arm, hard teeth had mercilessly dug in.

Tears welled up. He instinctively flinched his arm. When he rubbed the bitten spot with his thumb and checked it, a clear tooth mark was imprinted. A hint of blood even showed.

“It was only once.”

A low, rough voice crawled from his shoulder to his neck. Jeong Taeui, who had been rubbing his arm, realized that the large body, which had completely warmed his own cold body, was pressing down on him even more heavily.

And below that, the substantial mass uncomfortably resting between his crotch.

“It was only once.”

“I know, I know. I saw it then.”

“I haven’t touched him since you saw that. …No, nor anyone else.”

That rough voice was already at his ear. A thick, hot tongue licked his jaw, his cheek. His unrestrained fingertips, as if angry, gripped Jeong Taeui’s waist, his thigh.

The moment that strong hand gripped and lifted his thigh—though it seemed useless—he briefly considered whether it would be better for his health to quickly push this guy away. However, in the brief hesitation, reluctant to let go of the warm body gripping his still-cold leg, that thought proved futile.

There was a firm weight pressing against his lower back, a mass of flesh approaching. The moment he felt that large mass pressing into his crotch, Jeong Taeui’s hand, gripping Ilay’s arm, instinctively tightened.

“…Ilay.”

“You must be rested. Enough.”

As if he wouldn’t listen to anything Jeong Taeui said, the moment Jeong Taeui called his name, he cut him off briefly. Jeong Taeui closed his mouth.

As he meant it, he had indeed rested enough. He was no longer exhausted from a long journey, nor was any part of his body seriously uncomfortable. He wasn’t hungry either.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t been in such close contact with him for a while. When was it? He traced back his memory and recalled the first day he arrived on this island. It seemed to have been since then. Yes, since the time he said he was sorry, Ilay hadn’t touched Jeong Taeui.

Suddenly, a fact he had completely forgotten until now surfaced in Jeong Taeui’s mind.

It wasn’t something he could easily imagine, but it was the possibility of a human side that might exist even within the inhuman Ilay Riegrow.

“…”

Suddenly, his face felt hot again. And Jeong Taeui was flustered by that fact.

Why? If he said, “Someone seems to like me,” there was ample room to be called narcissistic, but there was no reason to blush himself. It could happen, right? I’m a decent guy, so what if someone has a strong liking for me?

But…

At that moment, Ilay, who had been stroking Jeong Taeui’s cheek with his lips, pulled back slightly. And looked down at Jeong Taeui directly. Their eyes met.

Even though he wasn’t thinking anything bad, Jeong Taeui felt guilty and pressed his lips together. Since Ilay was so quick-witted, he might be reading his mind completely. No, more than that, even thinking about it again, it was still an unrealistic and detached thought, so he couldn’t feel any certainty about it.

“You must be thinking something interesting. I can hear your eyeballs rolling around.”

Ilay, who had been looking down at Jeong Taeui, whispered. A faint chuckle laced his low voice.

Yes, it was certainly an interesting thought. A thought so terrifying and awkward that he couldn’t bring himself to confirm it.

“Taei, don’t think about anything else.”

Teeth biting his jaw stung his skin. Jeong Taeui flinched and turned his head. But the hand cupping his cheek turned his face back. Lips met lips.

Suddenly, the sensation came back. It was the sensation from just a moment ago.

He had kissed those lips. He had looked down at him, sleeping, and pressed his lips against his. The short memory of that moment had evaporated from his mind, yet the sensation of their lips meeting instantly revived, familiar.

Yes. Perhaps at that moment, looking down at Ilay’s closed eyes, he had thought he wanted to touch those dry lips. Perhaps like an instinctive desire.

Yes. Yes. Yes. He just wanted to. What did the reason matter?

Jeong Taeui felt the familiar tongue pushing into his mouth and stared blankly at him. His face was too close to see properly. But he knew that Ilay’s eyes were open.

Perhaps sensing Jeong Taeui’s unfocused gaze approaching, Ilay, who had sucked Jeong Taeui’s lips once, hard enough to hurt, pulled his face back slightly.

“You seem distracted today. …Did meeting that little kid after a long time make you lose your mind?”

The moment he finished speaking, teeth bit his lower lip sharply. Jeong Taeui instinctively flinched his shoulder. Ilay, who had been silent for a moment, stroking his shoulder, whispered again.

“Indeed, while you were at the organization, you always lost your mind when it came to that guy. You had ‘I like him, I like him’ written all over your face like a fresh young kid.”

“…”

“Did you… sleep with him?”

His voice lowered. At that subtly probing voice, Jeong Taeui frowned. He licked his stinging lips and grumbled sullenly.

“Why are you badgering me when you’re the one who slept with him?”

“He told me he liked you countless times,” Ilay whispered softly, as if to himself. Jeong Taeui frowned and glared at him. What is this guy thinking, asking about something he clearly knows? It’s almost as if… it’s really as if…

Again, a throb in his chest. His heart pounded, conveying a feeling.

He thought he heard a click of the tongue. Then, with a rough overlay of lips and a fierce pain of teeth biting down hard, a short scream involuntarily burst out.

“Argh! Hey, that hurts—!”

“Taei, wrap your arms around me.”

“What?!”

His lips were pressed together and his tongue was bitten, so his pronunciation was unclear. Only after his hips were gripped with fierce force did Jeong Taeui understand what he had said.

He hastily wrapped his arms around Ilay’s neck. If he delayed for even a moment, it felt like Ilay would crush his lips completely.

It was like before. He had felt a strange sensation then too. Although he was embracing him because Ilay told him to, it felt as if he was embracing his neck and kissing him of his own free will.

“Yes. Yes… a little harder.”

Whenever Jeong Taeui’s arms loosened even slightly, he would bite his lips or cheek without fail, and a growling voice would tell him to hug harder. It feels like hugging the neck of a hungry tiger encountered deep in the mountains, Jeong Taeui thought to himself, but he didn’t say it aloud. If he did, he would surely be devoured from head to toe by that hungry tiger.

“To that guy…”

Suddenly, he thought he heard a low sound near his ear. But the voice was too low to hear properly. “Huh?” Jeong Taeui asked again. The answer, which had not come for a while, returned with the pain of a bite on his cheek.

“How did you say you liked him? Did you say it like a gentle man? Or shyly and gruffly? Or did you say it while shaking your hips like a ripe courtesan?”

His voice grew rougher. Ilay, who had been speaking, suddenly closed his mouth as if angered, and clicked his tongue lowly. A rough hand reached out and tore off Jeong Taeui’s clothes. The light sound of the clothes falling to the ground could be heard in the distance. At the same time, Jeong Taeui felt a burning hot mass of flesh touch his buttocks.

“Wait, why are you talking to yourself and getting angry by yourself—”

“Taei. Tell me. How did you say it, huh? Tell me.”

Ilay lightly slapped Jeong Taeui’s buttocks. Though he said “lightly,” it was by his standards, and a stinging pain spread with a smack sound. Jeong Taeui, who cried out “Ouch!” and bit Ilay’s shoulder mercilessly in a fit of anger, was ignored.

“Is this bastard crazy? Why is he hitting me and doing this while his dick is hard?!”

“Don’t lose strength in your arms!”

Jeong Taeui shouted in anger, but Ilay shouted back. At his harsh voice, Jeong Taeui quickly put strength into the arm wrapped around Ilay’s neck, thinking himself a bit servile, but he quickly erased that thought from his mind. Holding his neck tightly, Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue and grumbled into Ilay’s ear, which was right next to his mouth.

“What do you mean ‘how did I say it’? Who thinks about that kind of thing when they say it? You just say it. ‘I like you’—”

He remembered saying “I like you” sometime in the past.

Jeong Taeui muttered to himself, a feeling of nostalgia, like a faded photograph, mixed with a hint of regret. I like you.

However, that last phrase did not escape his lips. No, Ilay swallowed it.

Jeong Taeui, who couldn’t even catch his breath from the rough kiss that pressed in as if to devour his entire mouth, realized, however, that a greater crisis was approaching the very next moment.

“Oh, —!”

However, before he could even realize that the crisis was a crisis, it materialized into reality.

He thought he caught a glimpse of a white hand gripping his thigh and pushing forward until his knee touched his shoulder. At that very moment, a thump sound came from between his thighs. Perhaps there was no actual sound. But Jeong Taeui distinctly heard it in his ears.

“—!!”

The scream that burst from his open mouth was swallowed by him again.

His body split in two. The massive flesh, which had suddenly plunged into his body without warning, moved shallowly in and out of his body a few times near the entrance, as if the space inside was too narrow. Even though the tip was already wet, it was stiff and didn’t move easily.

“Hey, ah, ha, oh, …ugh, huh, …!”

Jeong Taeui thrashed his body. He violently shook his head, pushing away the face that was superimposed on his own. He wanted to crawl across the bed and escape this spot, but the flesh, which was stuck like a stake below him and had fixed more than half of his body, wouldn’t budge.

“Taei, Taei… Just relax a little, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, it’s okay, you’re not tearing, you’re doing well, touch it, it’s okay, right?”

Short words formed a sentence in his ear. Ilay wiped Jeong Taeui’s pale, stiff eyes with his lips, then grabbed his hand and guided it. And he made him feel the place where their bodies were joined with his fingertips.

Jeong Taeui, half out of his mind, suddenly came to his senses at the feel of the lower part of his body against his fingertips. Damn it, it was stuck right next to his own thing, which he held several times a day when urinating in the bathroom, but the feeling in his hand was so different. It was an inappropriate thought for the situation, but the idea of how starkly different the two penises would appear side-by-side suddenly crossed his hazy mind.

With the pain of his body tearing, his pride as a man was shattered once again, and Jeong Taeui burst into tears.

“You inhuman bastard, why are you shoving this into me? It hurts so much. It hurts so much.”

“I’ll make it not hurt. So I’ll make it not hurt, tell me one more time.”

“Tell you what, you son of a bitch! What!”

Jeong Taeui shouted wildly, but each time he shouted, his lower body tightened, and his face turned pale. Finally, he lay sprawled on the bed, almost fainting, and mumbled, “Just do something, put it in or take it out, it’s stuck and won’t move, it hurts so much. Even if you just put it in and take it out quickly, just do something.”

Jeong Taeui whimpered, pulling at his waist. But like a bolt forcibly twisted into a narrow nut, the object, half-plunged into his body, wouldn’t budge. Jeong Taeui sobbed, thinking of the sins he must have committed in a past life.

Even in that situation, he wanted to just kill the man who said, “Don’t lose strength in your arms,” but he didn’t have the luxury, so he just squeezed his neck tightly with his arms.

Ilay, still inside Jeong Taeui, reached out and opened the bedside table drawer, rummaging through it. Then, a faint clinking sound was heard, as if he had picked something up.

Soon, something sticky flowed onto his buttocks, specifically where Ilay’s penis was inserted. A cold, slippery liquid flowed down his buttocks, dripping down to his waist. It was oil.

Flinch, his crotch moved. The oil slowly seeped between the flesh that was tightly gripping. Squish, squish, the flesh began to move.

Ah. Finally.

He didn’t even ask him to take it out. It was just a relief that the penis, which had been completely blocking his body and not moving, showed any sign of movement. Jeong Taeui stared blankly at Ilay, who was reflected in his wavering vision.

“Say it one more time, Taei.”

The voice whispering in his ear sounded incredibly gentle. His head must have gone strange from crying and shouting so frantically. To hear this voice sound so gentle.

“Say ‘I like you’ one more time. …Say it one more time.”

But the voice that returned was still gentle.

Jeong Taeui suddenly thought, with a hazy mind, Ah.

This man was truly twisted. His mind was so tangled and messed up that his thought process was completely beyond repair.

And so, this was the only way it could come out.

Jeong Taeui tightened his arms around his neck. And mumbled in a choked voice, “You, you like me, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You like me.”

Muttering those ambiguous words as a final statement, Jeong Taeui closed his eyes. Ilay, who had remained silent for a moment, soon began to move his hips slowly. His movements gradually quickened.

Ah, ah, ah, a sound close to a scream burst from Jeong Taeui’s lips with every thrust. It took only a few seconds to regret his own words, where he had said to just do something, even if it was just putting it in and taking it out quickly.

The enormous flesh plunging into his body pushed endlessly, making him feel as if his entire abdomen was full. A sensation close to terror washed over him, as if his insides were truly tearing.

Jeong Taeui seemed to have been crying and screaming again without realizing it. A white hand gently came down over Jeong Taeui’s face, wiping it. Feeling that warm, dry touch, Jeong Taeui struggled to open his eyes. Ilay’s face was reflected in his tear-filled vision.

…I shouldn’t have looked. I shouldn’t have opened my eyes. I shouldn’t have looked at his face.

Perhaps he himself didn’t realize it, but the expression on his face, sweaty and steeped in desire, as he looked down at Jeong Taeui, clearly revealed the human side Jeong Taeui had tried so hard not to think about.

Jeong Taeui closed his eyes. And embraced his neck. He still felt like he would faint from the pain caused by the heavy mass filling his lower body, but strangely, his mind cleared.

What should I do? This is troublesome. When he’s appealing so blatantly with his eyes, expression, touch, and breath, there’s no way I can not know.

However, Jeong Taeui, while thinking, This is troublesome, troublesome, also felt his heart soften somewhere. He was a little flustered upon realizing that, then recalled the memory of himself kissing him earlier. I must be going crazy. Schizophrenia is progressing. Look at this. Look at me hugging this guy like this. And yet, I don’t really hate him. I must be crazy.

Jeong Taeui opened his eyes. Over his shoulder, he saw the ceiling. If this guy likes me, then is this okay? Can I be like this with him? It’s so full below that I can barely breathe, it feels like it’s going to burst out? Just because he says he likes me, can this happen? …Surely I won’t die, and it could happen, I guess.

Jeong Taeui closed his eyes again.

He had thought that he only looked human, but his mind was completely inhuman. But this guy must have been human too. The hand stroking Jeong Taeui’s cheek, the tongue licking his eyelids, the breath touching and leaving his nose, were all saying so.

“Taei.”

And the gentle voice calling his name.

“Taei.”

He called Jeong Taeui again. Jeong Taeui opened his eyes. And met the gaze looking down at him directly.

He suddenly wondered. Did this man know what kind of eyes he had now? Jeong Taeui couldn’t take his eyes off those strange yet somehow touching eyes.

This guy was human too. This guy also had human emotions.

Somehow, his chest ached. Suddenly, he felt like kissing this man again. So Jeong Taeui tried to put strength into the arm he had wrapped around his neck.

It was then.

“Then, I’m putting it in.”

A short sentence fell from Ilay’s lips.

Jeong Taeui, who had been vaguely thinking “Huh…?” in a corner of his dazed mind, suddenly came to his senses as if doused with cold water.

“What…?”

“Putting it in below. Relax. Otherwise, you’ll get hurt.”

“What are you talking about? You put it all in already!”

“…There’s still half left. …Relax.”

Ilay, who had been silent for a moment at Jeong Taeui’s overturned shout, quietly patted Jeong Taeui’s buttocks. His voice was gentle, as if he pitied him a little, but his actions were not gentle.

And Jeong Taeui, bursting into a scream-filled cry again, retracted all the thoughts he had entertained until now.

Human? What a load of crap.