Passion Novel - Volume 5 - Chapter 125

Jeong Taeui scratched the back of his neck and sighed. Ilay raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t unaware of Jeong Taeui’s excellent sense of direction, but after a brief silence, he nodded calmly.

“Alright, then, shall we just go back now?”

Ilay said softly. He glanced at Xinlu, then turned and began to walk ahead slowly, just as he had come. Gable, who had been watching them a few steps away, followed behind him.

Jeong Taeui stood still for a moment, looking up at the sky, then sighed and began to walk. It was then.

“Taei Hyung.”

Xinlu’s voice came from behind him. Jeong Taeui slowed his pace and only turned his head. He asked with his gaze, “Why are you calling me?” Xinlu was still sitting on the sand.

“Hyung. …I like you.”

He said softly. It was a phrase he had heard many times before. And it was also a phrase Jeong Taeui had said to him.

A subtle weight settled in his chest.

Jeong Taeui nodded, almost imperceptibly. Then, he casually wiped his face, which must have an awkward expression, with the back of his hand, turned back, and walked away with a rustling sound.

Perhaps he had vaguely known it.

Even before leaving UNHRDO, perhaps Jeong Taeui had unconsciously realized it.

Thinking about it calmly, even when he heard Xinlu speak incredibly harsh words with that beautiful face, Jeong Taeui was bewildered but not greatly shocked or repulsed. Such facts did not alter Jeong Taeui’s feelings for Xinlu. Without becoming more or less likable, Xinlu remained Xinlu.

What surprised him, however, was the realization that that was Xinlu’s true self.

It wasn’t the familiar face Jeong Taeui had known. That slightly gaunt and emaciated face, though it arbitrarily brought to mind his former lovely and bright smile, contained a dangerous, precarious instability. What lay beneath that beautiful face was the distinct countenance of a male.

I made a mistake, Jeong Taeui thought.

Putting all that aside, what he had unconsciously failed to calculate was Xinlu’s obsession, which was even greater than expected. He had thought about Xinlu searching for him or following him, but he hadn’t anticipated that level of reaction.

“…”

Beset on all sides. Between a rock and a hard place. Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Escaping the fox, only to meet the tiger. A cliff ahead, a tiger behind.

Only such phrases had been swirling in Jeong Taeui’s head for a while.

Tiger, fox. Cliff. Why are they all in such a mess?

Neither option was worth choosing.

“…Ugh, what the hell, why is this happening?”

Jeong Taeui stood still under the shower, letting the cold water hit him, then suddenly groaned, “Ugh,” and frantically scratched his head. Seeing a handful of hair washing down with the water, it seemed stress-induced hair loss was not far off.

Jeong Taeui grabbed the entire bar of soap, which was supposedly fresher than the one in Ilay’s room, and rubbed it over his body, then glared at the bathroom wall. Come to think of it, UNHRDO was to blame for everything. All sorts of connections started there. But later, he realized that none of those connections seemed to be proper ones.

“To make me a corpse and take me away, huh.”

He knew there was an unexpected side to him, but now he saw that this guy wasn’t normal either. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed it wasn’t a joke. No, looking at the circumstances, it definitely wasn’t a joke.

“Maybe my uncle’s personality became like that because of UNHRDO too. There’s not a single sane person among those from there. Let anyone sane come forward.”

Well, the instructor himself is that guy, so I’ve already seen all the trouble, Jeong Taeui grumbled, rinsing the soap suds from his body. He had turned the water to its coldest setting, but perhaps because of the internal heat rising, he didn’t feel very cold. Even after all the soap suds were rinsed off his body, Jeong Taeui remained under the shower for a while. He sighed, letting his body succumb to the freezing cold water.

—Go if you want. Then you’ll be a corpse in my hands. I’ll swallow every piece of flesh and every drop of blood, but I won’t give you to anyone. I won’t even bury you in the ground.

Suddenly, he recalled what Ilay had said when he returned to the house and entered the wooden door.

Jeong Taeui stopped at the threshold, his face contorted. One said he would drag him away even if he had to make him a corpse, and the other said he would make him a corpse and devour him if he dared to leave.

Am I destined to be a corpse no matter which way I go…? Isn’t this too much? Even Xinlu wants to kill me and take me away.

Jeong Taeui sighed and mumbled. He had thought he was unlucky, but now, no matter how he looked at it, he was destined to be a corpse.

Jeong Taeui, who was about to pass by Ilay, who stood blocking the door, and enter the house, had to stop because a hand gripped his arm. He clicked his tongue and turned around to see Ilay looking down at him coldly.

‘Jung Taei. If I wanted to make you a corpse, I would have done it already. If I intended to kill you, I would have killed you long ago. I kept you alive, and someone else dares to lay a hand on you? Don’t make me laugh. Kill you? You?’

A snort and a low growl escaped from his lips, which were pressed close to Jeong Taeui’s ear. Each time his lips moved, his breath tickled Jeong Taeui’s earlobe.

It was then that Jeong Taeui realized.

This man was angry. He didn’t know since when. Perhaps since he first appeared on that beach, or perhaps at some point during their conversation.

Since when?

Jeong Taeui quietly looked at him. When did that bluish smile deepen on his face, and his eyes freeze over?

He didn’t need to search his memory for long. He soon remembered.

It was from the moment Xinlu sprained his wrist and Jeong Taeui approached him. From the moment the marksman hidden somewhere near the forest aimed at Jeong Taeui.

‘I won’t die. Not by him. …Nor by you.’

Jeong Taeui said quietly.

Suddenly, his breath, which had been close to Jeong Taeui’s ear, seemed to subside for a moment. His gaze fell on Jeong Taeui’s face.

‘Jung—’

‘There’s only an hour left to send the reply to headquarters.’

The person who interrupted Ilay, who was about to say something to Jeong Taeui with a strange expression, was Gable, who was standing a little distance away.

‘Since the work you left unfinished has been resolved, you should resume the work you left behind.’

Gable said gruffly, taking his eyes off his wristwatch. Ilay clicked his tongue.

Come to think of it, Ilay had said he had a lot of work today. He had said that company work almost doubled at the end of the month. That’s why he had barely seen him since morning. He must have come out in the middle of all that.

Ilay took a step back. His hand, which had lingered on Jeong Taeui’s cheek, slowly, slowly, fell away until he was a step further back.

The sensation of his fingertips brushing Jeong Taeui’s lips as they fell away still remained vivid.

Jeong Taeui unconsciously wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Then, he suddenly raised his head.

How long had he been lost in thought? He suddenly felt a stinging sensation on his skin. And with that sensation, he came to his senses. “Oh,” he mumbled, and when he came to, his skin was bluish. His skin, exposed to the cold water of the shower for a long time, was so frozen it was almost purple.

Jeong Taeui felt the cold only after seeing that color and quickly stepped out from under the shower. His legs were stiff and barely moved. Crunch, the plastic wrapped tightly around his cast-clad leg slipped on the tiled floor, and he almost fell.

“Whoa,” Jeong Taeui muttered, leaning against the wall to steady himself, and led his stiff, creaking body out of the shower stall.

“I need to get a grip and live, not abuse my body. They say you can survive even in a tiger’s den if you just stay alert.”

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue and mumbled.

Even after stepping out of the shower stall, drying himself with a towel, and getting dressed, the chilling cold did not leave his body. It felt as if his bones were soaked in icy water.

“Ugh, it’s cold. …Am I really crazy? Who stays under ice water until they look like this? You’re completely out of your mind, Jeong Taeui.”

Jeong Taeui rubbed his body and came out of the bathroom. He was about to step onto the wet mat when he paused.

On the bed, there was something that hadn’t been there when he went into the bathroom. Jeong Taeui stared intently at the intruder, who was lying sideways, taking up the entire bed, wrapped in the blanket.

Ilay Riegrow.

He was lying there with his eyes closed.

Jeong Taeui rubbed his head with a towel and approached him. Even when he came right up to the side of the bed, Ilay didn’t open his eyes.

He was, after all, a man with terrifyingly light sleep. If he called his name even once, he would open his eyes immediately, but Jeong Taeui didn’t bother calling him. He didn’t seem to have come for any particular reason. If there had been a need, he would have opened his eyes the moment Jeong Taeui opened the bathroom door.

A cliff ahead, a tiger behind.

He disliked both. It didn’t seem like a cliff he could fall from and miraculously survive, nor did it seem like a tiger he could fight and win against, or cleverly escape from. Either way, his life was going to be ruined.

But if he had to choose.

“…”

Jeong Taeui sat on the bed. And silently rubbed his head, lost in thought.

Which way would be better for him? Or, which way would be better for the other person?

He couldn’t quickly come to a conclusion about the former. A face had briefly appeared without any basis, but since there was truly no reason or basis for it, he erased it from his mind. And as for the latter conclusion.

Again, there was no clear reason or basis. But even so, the conclusion came easily.

One person who was very human but whose inhumanity became emphasized after Jeong Taeui met him. And one person who was inhuman from the start and still is, but whose human side seems to flicker in and out of view.

It would be better for this world if the opposite were true, rather than a person whose humanity diminishes by being with him.

Jeong Taeui, with a towel on his head, quietly turned his head. And looked down at the man lying beside him with his eyes closed. Only a low, regular breathing sound echoed in the quiet room.

“…Ilay.”

Jeong Taeui whispered, as quietly as that breathing sound.

It was still quiet. He didn’t open his eyes. A space filled with stillness, where even the slightest movement had ceased.

Jeong Taeui turned his body, which had been sitting on the bed. He half-climbed onto the bed, placing one hand beside Ilay’s head. The sheet was deeply indented beside his head, which rested without a pillow.

Jeong Taeui looked down at his face, which was directly below his gaze. He scrutinized every corner of his face, which was still and unmoving with closed eyes, as if searching for even a minor flaw.

At some point. It was a moment Jeong Taeui hadn’t even consciously realized.

“…”

Jeong Taeui suddenly mumbled.

Something touched his lips. A warm, dry, slightly rough, familiar sensation touched him in an unusually unfamiliar way. Ilay’s face was extremely close. So close that it filled his vision and he couldn’t see properly.

Jeong Taeui sat up. “Oh…?” he mumbled once more. And he stared blankly at the face a few inches below him.

That face had already opened its eyes. He looked up at Jeong Taeui with slightly wide eyes, without blinking once. Meeting his gaze, Jeong Taeui mumbled “Oh…” for the third time.

Ilay, who had been staring intently at Jeong Taeui’s face for a moment, finally opened his mouth. He was about to say something, then closed it again. But then, he opened it again.

“What do you mean ‘oh,’ when someone’s sleeping and you just arbitrarily kiss them?”

His indifferent and calm voice, however, was subtly lower than usual. After saying that, he stared intently at Jeong Taeui again. Jeong Taeui tilted his head slightly.

“Right…?”

“What?”

“I just kissed you, right? Huh?”

Jeong Taeui asked, half-dazed. Ilay slightly frowned. He didn’t answer, just stared back at Jeong Taeui.

Jeong Taeui sat up. Then, he sat back on the bed and stared at Ilay in confusion.

“Why did I do that?”

“What…?”

Another wrinkle appeared on Ilay’s forehead. At his bewildered single word of question, Jeong Taeui became even more confused.

Jeong Taeui’s memory had a very brief blank spot from when he looked down at Ilay’s sleeping face. Perhaps just before that, his gaze had fallen to his lips. When he came to his senses, his lips were pressed against Ilay’s.

“…I must have finally gone crazy.”

Jeong Taeui was quite serious. Ilay, with one eyebrow raised, watched him muttering, his face stiff with bewilderment. Perhaps it was his imagination, but Ilay’s gaze also seemed to be thinking, This guy must be crazy.

“Hey, Jung Taei. You…”

Ilay clicked his tongue and tapped Jeong Taeui’s arm with the back of his hand. But he stopped mid-tap and raised his eyebrow again.

“Why is your body so cold? …What did you do?”

“Huh? Oh. Shower. Cold water. So, a bit.”

He was so surprised that he forgot about the cold. Only after hearing Ilay’s words did the cold clinging to his body return to his mind, and he rubbed his arms. But even so, he still felt half-dazed.

Suddenly, he heard a click of the tongue. Ilay, who had sat up, ran the back of his hand over Jeong Taeui’s arm, waist, and legs, then snorted and mumbled, “Did you suddenly lose your mind somewhere and not know what you did, or did you leave your mind soaking in ice water? Get a grip, Jung Taei.”

The back of his hand, which had gone down to his thigh, came back up and lightly patted Jeong Taeui’s cheek. Jeong Taeui, his face not just dazed but also gloomy, looked at Ilay.

Yes, he really suddenly felt gloomy. To not know his own actions, this might be the early stage of schizophrenia. What would happen if this schizophrenia progressed? The thought alone made him gloomy.

Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay, feeling the touch of the back of his hand rubbing his cheek. Ilay, too, had not taken his eyes off Jeong Taeui. It was a very strange, peculiar gaze, as if looking at something unusual.

“…Why are you sleeping there?”

Jeong Taeui asked, still with a gloomy expression. Ilay slowly took his hand from Jeong Taeui’s cheek. Then, he took Jeong Taeui’s hand and pulled it to his mouth. He bit Jeong Taeui’s cold fingertips until they stung.

“I was just resting my eyes for a moment.”

“Gable said you had a mountain of work.”

“Hmm… I only looked at what was absolutely necessary and sent the rest back. It wouldn’t do for someone on sick leave to overwork themselves.”

“Sick leave…”

Jeong Taeui mumbled, glaring at Ilay’s broad shoulders and the distinctly visible muscles beneath his thin shirt, as Ilay slid his tongue from Jeong Taeui’s fingertips to his wrist.

“I’ve always wondered, who exactly stamped your sick leave application?”

“The instructor’s leave requires the approval of both the director-general and the deputy director. It was Instructor Jung Changin who very willingly obtained the approval from both.”

See, I told you. There’s no sane person at UNHRDO.

Jeong Taeui shook his head in disbelief. Then, he suddenly lay back as a hand gripped his shoulder and pushed him down. Ilay climbed onto his prone body. The heavy weight of his large frame pressing on his chest made his breathing difficult. He was about to say, It’s suffocating, but Jeong Taeui closed his mouth. Before the suffocation, warmth transferred from Ilay’s body to his own, which had been cold, and he felt warm.

Seeing Jeong Taeui open his mouth as if to complain, then close it again, Ilay, who had been putting his lips on Jeong Taeui’s other hand, chuckled. He vaguely heard him mumble, “I should soak him in ice water sometimes.”

Jeong Taeui lay relaxed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He recalled the bewilderment from a moment ago.

“…”

He lowered his gaze. He saw Ilay, who had his lips on the inside of Jeong Taeui’s wrist. He watched his lips, which were stroking and rubbing his wrist.

They were well-shaped lips. Nothing particularly unusual, but not excessively thin, and depending on one’s perspective, they could even be called sensual. But Jeong Taeui had never thought about those lips in any particular way. Until now.

Suddenly, a terrifying thought flashed through his mind. It was a terrifying thought about what form the progression of schizophrenia might take.

No. No, no. This can’t be happening. I need to fix this mental illness quickly before it ruins my life.

Jeong Taeui, who had been clicking his tongue inwardly and thinking gloomily, missed Ilay’s whisper. He came to his senses, thinking he had vaguely heard a voice saying, “…would be good.”

“Ah. I didn’t hear that. What did you say?”

Ilay, who had moved up to Jeong Taeui’s inner elbow, glanced at Jeong Taeui. His cold eyes briefly scanned Jeong Taeui’s expression, then fell away.