Passion Novel - Volume 5 - Chapter 116

Jeong Taeui felt like he was going to faint. No, he wanted to faint.

Just do it. Just get it over with. It would be better to just put it in cleanly, finish quickly, and get it done with.

Jeong Taeui made up his mind, weeping tears of blood inwardly. Rather than endure such embarrassing and mortifying treatment, he vowed to simply lie there silently and let himself be impaled from now on.

Jeong Taeui blinked blankly.

He vaguely tried to think about where it didn’t hurt. He subtly rolled his body half a turn to the right and left, then concluded: Nowhere didn’t hurt.

“Uuugh… I’m surely going to die like this…” Jeong Taeui groaned, a sigh escaping his lips.

Water sounds came from the bathroom. That bastard, showering with the door wide open, was even humming a happy tune. The more he heard the song, the deeper the furrow in Jeong Taeui’s brow became.

His body creaked, but he turned over onto his side. A warm, throbbing sensation spread throughout his body. “Ow, ow, ow,” a low groan escaped him again. He would have preferred to lie still and not move an inch, but his hair, still damp, felt uncomfortable, so he carefully turned his body to change the position of his head.

He sighed, lying on his side, and caught a faint whiff of shampoo. It was the scent from his own hair. Jeong Taeui sighed, “Phew.”

Until the day he died, there were a few things he could never bring himself to speak about, no matter where he went. Still, time passed equally for Jeong Taeui, who just wanted to sink into the ground and be covered with dirt. After Ilay, who had been sprawled on top of him, finished cumming inside Jeong Taeui for what felt like the countless time, he finally moved off him.

A small moan, “Ugh,” escaped Jeong Taeui’s lips. The mass of flesh that had burrowed endlessly deep inside him, as if to split his body in two, and had remained there for a long time, didn’t come out smoothly. Inch by painful inch, as Ilay pumped his hips like a pile driver to withdraw, Jeong Taeui inwardly groaned, “Ugh, ugh, ugh.”

‘If it’s so hard, maybe I should just keep a regularly sized dildo in there. Then it would naturally be open and more comfortable.’

He felt a touch, as if a thumb was tracing each fold, checking if the opening had torn. Jeong Taeui lay still, feigning death, listening to Ilay’s words, and thinking, He makes such brutal jokes.

Then he lifted his eyelids, heavy as lead. Ilay was staring intently at Jeong Taeui’s groin. When their eyes met, he casually muttered, “Should we start with a medium size?” Only then did Jeong Taeui realize it wasn’t a joke.

Even though he was so tired he didn’t want to open his mouth, his fists clenched instinctively. Seeing his clenched fists, Ilay chuckled.

And he didn’t bring up the subject again.

“Alright, then.”

Ilay, who had jumped off the bed without a hint of exhaustion despite everything, picked up Jeong Taeui, who was sprawled like a corpse. He then strode into the bathroom.

Without much difficulty, he washed Jeong Taeui, who couldn’t move a single finger as if he’d been beaten to death, and thoroughly cleaned him inside. Then, he carefully dried him with a bath towel and laid him back on the bed. Only after that did he return to the bathroom to wash himself.

Jeong Taeui heard the sound of the shower and let out a deep sigh, for what felt like the umpteenth time.

He was a monster who pretended to have good manners in strange ways.

Jeong Taeui raised one arm into the air. It was completely dry and soft. His lower body, of course, ached so much that he barely had any sensation, but no unpleasant feelings remained.

“His only claim to humanity is his manners…” Jeong Taeui mumbled to himself. Even as he mumbled, his voice was almost gone, completely hoarse.

“…”

No, actually, if he thought about it objectively, putting aside his resentment and grudges, Ilay wasn’t that bad in bed. Given how he had forcibly attacked him before, his lack of morality was certain, but his bedroom manners weren’t messy. At least he never just satisfied himself and then ran off. He didn’t just push in haphazardly either. …Though he was terribly disobedient.

Perhaps if that bastard’s lower body hadn’t been so monstrously shaped, Jeong Taeui might have quite willingly slept with him sometimes. Yes, since things had come to this, maybe he should try hard to get used to it. After all, his technique and stamina were excellent…

…

No, that wouldn’t work. It was too hard to handle a monster. Jeong Taeui agonized over how to escape.

“Maybe it would have been better if I had just meekly let myself be caught by the man Shinru sent…”

He mumbled to himself without realizing it, then startled and shut his mouth. He glanced towards the bathroom, but fortunately, the sound of the water seemed to have drowned out Jeong Taeui’s fading murmur, so it hadn’t reached Ilay.

If he had heard it, it wouldn’t have ended well. This was the guy who tried to castrate him just for saying he wanted to meet Shinru.

“…For crying out loud… I just can’t figure it out, I really can’t.”

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue in displeasure. Suddenly feeling stuffy, he reached for the beer Ilay had left within reach when he laid him on the bed. Even as he lifted his upper body while lying prone, Jeong Taeui mumbled, “Ugh, I’m dying.” After tearing open the can and taking four or five gulps of the cold beer, he finally felt a little better.

He tried to think. He struggled to guess what was going on in that man’s unfathomable mind.

—If you had followed what reason told you, Taeui, you would have died several times already.

Suddenly, his low voice came to mind.

—Don’t think about it. Forget it. There’s no reason or need to meet again. So don’t think about him.

—I’ve thought about it too, but it just leads to the conclusion that you’re mine, and I can guess the reason, but it’s not certain. There’s no past evidence to judge whether it’s right or not.

—That kid. Ling Shinru. Tell him you won’t meet him and have no intention of meeting him.

—Is that kid really that good? What’s so good about him?

—Jeong Taeui. You’re mine. Understand? You’re mine.

A string of words came to mind. The hands that had caressed his back several times. The low chuckle and the light kiss on his earlobe when Jeong Taeui hugged his neck, and the lips that brushed against him. Even the gaze that had examined Jeong Taeui’s body after their act.

“…”

Jeong Taeui frowned. Gulp, the beer he swallowed had warmed in his mouth while he was lost in thought.

“Seriously, they’re all just convenient excuses to reach the same conclusion…”

Slowly sipping his beer, Jeong Taeui tightened the space between his eyebrows even further.

If he grabbed any passerby and told them those words, they would surely come to the same conclusion. There was no need to add that this man, Ilay Rigrow, was usually not like that at all, or that he completely disregarded others.

“…Surely, that bastard doesn’t actually… like me…”

Jeong Taeui mumbled inadvertently, staring intently at the floral pattern on the wallpaper by the head of the bed. But he closed his mouth before finishing the sentence. That thought, which had surfaced once before and been erased, was too absurd for him to even think. Jeong Taeui mumbled, “No,” and shook his head.

“No. That’s not it. That’s definitely not it. There’s absolutely no way he has such human emotions. …Then what the hell is it?”

Jeong Taeui sighed deeply and shook his head.

“Even if I say so myself, I have a good eye for people. If it were even that damn Lieutenant Kim, I would seriously doubt if he really… liked me. But not him. I’d bet my life that he’s absolutely devoid of such human qualities.”

“Don’t bet a life that isn’t yours wherever you please.”

From behind him, a voice suddenly flew in, making Jeong Taeui almost jump up in surprise. The beer in the can he was holding sloshed.

He turned around to see Ilay, who seemed to have just come out of the bathroom, walking towards him, rubbing his head with a dry towel.

“You seemed to be muttering something interesting. Where are you betting your life?”

“Huh? Oh… um… on my intuition and instincts, you know, just…” Jeong Taeui mumbled vaguely, fumbling for words. Ilay took a beer from the refrigerator and approached.

Jeong Taeui lay sprawled, gazing blankly at Ilay’s profile as he sat on the bed and drank his beer.

His appearance truly betrayed his inner self. His naked body, still damp, was so neat and robust that it was impossible to imagine it housing such a sinister psyche. Jeong Taeui swallowed his beer, tasting a bitter aftertaste.

It had been quite a while since Jeong Taeui had realized his own preferences. Jeong Taeui liked men more than women. However, if he put his mind to it, women would probably be fine too. After all, Jeong Taeui liked delicate and lovely-looking boys.

Yes. No matter how much he liked men, the man in front of him was, to put it bluntly, not Jeong Taeui’s type. His appearance, which couldn’t be called anything but neat and handsome, and, of course, his personality, didn’t suit Jeong Taeui’s taste, and Jeong Taeui didn’t even enjoy being on the bottom.

Nevertheless, the world was truly unpredictable. How did it come to this? To say it just happened for a moment was an understatement, as the other party was overwhelmingly powerful in various ways. After considering everything, the most plausible conclusion, though unbelievable, was that this bastard… liked him.

“…No… No… I’d think so too, but consider his psyche… Is that even a plausible thing to say?”

Jeong Taeui rubbed his forehead and mumbled. He mumbled in a voice so low it was almost inaudible, but Ilay seemed to have overheard him somehow. Ilay, who had been sitting at the edge of the bed, turned his head.

“Psyche? Whose?”

“Oh… I was just thinking I don’t understand the mindset of people who give sick leave to men with full stamina and robust bodies.” Jeong Taeui mumbled, casting his gaze out the window.

The outside was hazy, though it was clearly still far from dawn. It was a city that never slept, with skyscrapers lit up, but unlike daytime, a unique nocturnal stillness enveloped it.

Jeong Taeui made up an excuse and then suddenly thought. He had indeed received a vacation. Sick leave. Was it five weeks?

It was an absurd amount of time. Of course, if it were genuine sick leave, if there was a serious problem requiring hospitalization or recuperation, it would be different. But there was no way simple sick leave would last five weeks.

“What pretext did he use to get five weeks?” Jeong Taeui mumbled, shifting his body to lie on his side. As he moved, a groan, “Ugh, ugh,” automatically escaped his lips. Ilay quietly looked down at Jeong Taeui, then emptied his beer can first.

“You said you wanted to meet Jung Jaeui, and you’ve already forgotten? Or do you not want to meet him anymore?”

At his casual words, Jeong Taeui paused, losing his voice for a moment. Then he stared blankly at him.

He hadn’t forgotten. He remembered. And Jeong Taeui still wanted to meet Jung Jaeui. But he hadn’t expected this man to bring it up.

“No… I want to meet him. I do. Are you going too?” Jeong Taeui mumbled blankly. Ilay replied curtly.

“Five weeks. If you can’t meet him within that time, give up.”

Jeong Taeui stared at him again, dumbfounded. It seemed he was really going to let him go. No, to be precise, Ilay seemed to be going with him, but Jeong Taeui had gotten a chance to meet Jung Jaeui. Of course, he had thought he would meet him someday, but he hadn’t expected to be able to leave so soon.

Then Jeong Taeui nodded, saying, “Ah.”

Indeed. Their interests aligned.

The UNHRDO’s position of searching for Jung Jaeui, Ilay’s rank within the UNHRDO, the excessively long five-week vacation, Jeong Taeui’s desire to meet Jung Jaeui, and the expectations of a few people who, without much basis, thought Jeong Taeui would be able to meet Jung Jaeui more easily. He soon realized that the result was a combination of these factors.

Jeong Taeui sat up. His body was weak and swayed, but when he tried to move, he could. However, because his weight pressed down and his lower back hurt terribly, he couldn’t sit properly and ended up leaning sideways.

Frowning, Jeong Taeui sat there for a while. When the throbbing pain spreading from his lower back throughout his body subsided a little, he sighed.

“You’re quite a weakling, more than you look.”

Ilay, who had been quietly watching Jeong Taeui, suddenly mumbled. The moment he heard that, Jeong Taeui flared up and glared fiercely at him.

“I’m not a weakling, it’s you—!”

“Me?”

“…The people you’ve been with, I guess they all walked around perfectly fine right after, huh?”

“Well…”

Ilay seemed lost in thought for a moment. But then he shrugged, as if he didn’t know.

“I wouldn’t know, it wasn’t my business.”

This bastard, wasn’t his aftercare at least decent?!

Jeong Taeui stared at him in disbelief, then sighed and waved his hand. The more he thought, the deeper the mystery became. There was a more important issue now.

“So, are we going? To Serengeti?”

Suddenly, he felt excited.

He could go. To that place. To escape from this place where he had been trapped without bars. (Though the fact that he was going with the guy who put up those bars was a minor problem.)

Jeong Taeui unconsciously leaned towards Ilay, his eyes filled with anticipation. Ilay held a beer can in one hand, tapping it with his index finger, and quietly met Jeong Taeui’s gaze.

“You seem to be in a good mood.”

“Well… there’s no reason not to be.” Jeong Taeui tilted his head and shrugged. Ilay silently watched him for a while, lost in thought, but then, at some point, he nodded.

“Departure whenever you want. However, you must return exactly within five weeks from yesterday’s date, regardless of whether you meet Jung Jaeui or not.”

Five weeks. Whether that would be a short time or enough time, he couldn’t tell. If he thought about it, since he already knew the location, the important thing was simply luck. If luck was on his side, he would meet him; otherwise, he wouldn’t. Perhaps, given that he hadn’t heard of anyone else meeting Jung Jaeui, he should assume it would be difficult to meet him. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to meet him even in five years, let alone five weeks.

Jeong Taeui looked down at his hand. An invisible thread was tied to his pinky finger. And that thread, Jung Jaeui had cut it clean. Perhaps luck would no longer be on his side.

But. Even so.

“Then today. As soon as it’s light.”

Jeong Taeui said without a second thought. He would take the fastest flight there and go to meet Jung Jaeui.

Ilay seemed to have known Jeong Taeui would answer that way, but he chuckled and shook his head.

“If you take a 13-hour flight six hours from now in your current state, you’ll be looking for a doctor on the plane. Just sleep today. Your face looks like a ghost’s.”

“Huh?”

Jeong Taeui slowly rubbed his face. He himself thought he must look extremely haggard right now. Indeed, it felt like if someone pushed him, he would just collapse and not be able to get up. Just a moment ago, he swayed precariously just by sitting up.

“Hmm… yeah, maybe it is a bit risky.”

Physical exhaustion, lack of sleep, accumulated fatigue.

As Jeong Taeui mumbled worriedly about when to go, Ilay pushed his shoulder sideways. Jeong Taeui collapsed without resistance, groaning like an old man again.

“I’ll book a flight for tomorrow. Just sleep today. Where do you think you’re going in that state?” Ilay mumbled, looking at Jeong Taeui, who was groaning and complaining of pain, with a somewhat pathetic gaze. Even in his weakened state, he put all his strength into his eyelids and glared at Ilay.

“I wouldn’t be in this state if you hadn’t touched me.”

“Does that mean if I touch you, you’ll be in this state the next day?”

“It’s always been like that…!”

Why is this bastard pretending not to know? I’m dying here. But Ilay didn’t flinch at Jeong Taeui’s wide-eyed stare. He quietly stroked his chin, seemed to ponder for a moment, then spoke.

“Then it’ll be the same whether you take a flight tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Should we just go today?”

Jeong Taeui had a fairly good grasp of this man. He hadn’t been a lieutenant by his side for months for nothing. So he soon realized that Ilay’s words were a mix of jest and seriousness. However, the parts Jeong Taeui hoped were jokes and the parts he hoped were serious didn’t seem to align.

“Please… just… save… me…”

He groaned, burying his face in the sheets. Appealing to Ilay Rigrow’s compassion was as foolish as it got, but he still tried his best to look pitiful and helpless, mumbling weakly. Maybe it would work.

Whether Jeong Taeui looked pitiful in Ilay’s eyes or not, Jeong Taeui’s wish seemed to have been granted to some extent. Ilay suddenly chuckled.

“Alright. I’ll try not to put any strain on this until we arrive in Serengeti.”

A white hand reached out and stroked Jeong Taeui’s thigh to his buttocks as he lay sprawled on his stomach. He flinched faintly, but the hand, which seemed to linger around his buttocks and waist for a moment, soon pulled away.

However, before he could feel relieved, a hand traveled up his spine, caressed his neck, and then gripped Jeong Taeui’s chin.

“…?”

His chin was gripped and pulled up slightly, making their eyes meet. As Jeong Taeui gave him a bewildered look, Ilay’s thumb slowly rubbed Jeong Taeui’s lips. He lightly inserted his fingertip between the parted lips. That white fingertip gently pressed down on his tongue.

Jeong Taeui’s eyes widened instantly. The finger, moving in and out of his mouth, touched his tongue and teeth each time. The hand, wet with saliva, rubbed over his lips as if tracing them.

“…!”

Jeong Taeui glared fiercely at him. Damn it, do you think my mouth isn’t a strain?

Ilay seemed to understand what Jeong Taeui’s gaze was saying. But his reaction seemed to be what he had expected, as he chuckled again.

His eyes curved gently. While rubbing his lips with his thumb, he quietly stroked Jeong Taeui’s cheek with his other fingers. Tap, tap, the fingers that had been poking and prodding his cheek then rubbed his cheek smoothly, as if amused. Jeong Taeui looked at his eyes, which strangely held a prolonged smile, with suspicion.

So, setting aside whether he liked or disliked being touched—to be precise, the hands that haphazardly touched his cheeks, mouth, and neck didn’t feel unpleasant—what should he call it? It was like…

…No. That’s not it. How could such human emotions be possible for this bastard? No. No. That’s not it.

Jeong Taeui pondered for a moment. For a while now, a vague, ticklish suspicion had been gnawing at his chest. What was it? But he was also a little afraid to know, and felt like he shouldn’t know.

“…What does it matter.”

Finally, after a brief deliberation, Jeong Taeui mumbled with a sigh, in a voice so small he could barely hear himself. The finger that had been touching his lips seemed to feel the sound through his movement and tapped his tongue a couple of times in surprise, but Jeong Taeui quietly bit that finger once.

The finger, which seemed to be about to withdraw, however, came back in and pinched his tongue.

Fine, do whatever you want, do whatever you want.

Jeong Taeui closed his eyes, lying on his side on the bed. Then, the hand that had been resting on his face for a moment finally pulled away. For a while after that, his gaze seemed to linger on his face, but he couldn’t tell. Jeong Taeui, who had vaguely lost consciousness and fallen asleep, did not open his eyes for a full 12 hours.