Passion Novel - Volume 3 - Chapter 77

Sometimes it was like this.

He would sometimes rummage through Jeong Taeui’s bookshelf, babble trivial things about old books, then leave, or rummage through the refrigerator and leave. And sometimes, as if it suddenly occurred to him, he would touch Jeong Taeui suggestively, then engage in petting that was close to masturbation before leaving. After that damned night, such incidents subtly increased. He felt that this crazy bastard had probably marked him as an easy “hopscotch” partner.

It was a mistake to just let it slide back then. That a guy who raped someone showed no signs of apology, yet still came to check on him, poking his head in and brazenly asking if he was okay while he was almost dying and unable to leave the bed for a day or two afterward—Jeong Taeui had thought it was remarkably commendable for his personality, and so he hadn’t ended him there. (To be more accurate, he wanted to end him, but it was realistically impossible.)

Even before, and after that, this man would casually use Jeong Taeui’s body with the same sensation as doing exercise. Each time, Jeong Taeui would recall the horrible memories and feel angry, but ultimately, he would gasp and cross the threshold of climax from Ilay’s hands or mouth.

It was only natural for Jeong Taeui to feel a growing sense of self-loathing, wondering if there was ever such a bewildered victim of rape. He also realized for the first time how weak he was to his own desires, and though he had thought he had a personality that could clearly draw lines, he unexpectedly realized he was soft in human relationships. But back then, when he was joking around with the guy he had genuinely wanted to kill, “soft” wasn’t even enough to describe it…

He felt like his brain was melting.

Jeong Taeui felt like he had lived a hundred years and his mood drooped.

“Ah, I suddenly wanted to read Hilsen’s Crusade, so I came to borrow it,” Ilay said, after Jeong Taeui had paused in response to his question, as if it just occurred to him. Jeong Taeui frowned and tilted his head.

“I don’t have that book.”

“Instructor Jeong has it. I got it for him this spring.”

Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay with a troubled expression. The key to his uncle’s room was right there in the bedside table drawer, but that was a different matter.

“I do go into empty rooms and just crash sometimes… but taking things out of an empty room and lending them to others is a bit… Did you ask Uncle?”

“No. …Hmm. That’s right. Alright, I’ll take a look after Instructor Jeong arrives.”

Ilay nodded easily, giving up. Jeong Taeui stared at Ilay for a moment, then finally closed his mouth without saying anything.

“But now that I think about it, if you say thank you, I should be able to receive that greeting, shouldn’t I?” Ilay suddenly said, veering off topic a bit. Jeong Taeui, who was checking how many minutes were left in the video, asked, “Huh?”, then realized it was what Jeong Taeui had said to Ilay a moment ago.

It would be a lie to say he didn’t feel indignant. Judging by his past record, Jeong Taeui should have received “thank you” many times from this man. He should have received “I’m sorry” a hundred times over. But how many times had this man properly apologized? He hesitated to say it, but felt he would only make himself seem petty if he did, so Jeong Taeui decided to keep quiet. And he asked, displeased, smacking his lips,

“What do you want for a greeting?”

“Well… Now that you mention it, I don’t seem to have much to gain from you.”

Ilay seemed quite serious in thought, but that was his conclusion. Jeong Taeui glared at Ilay with a deadpan expression.

Indeed, that man could be seen as having no deficiencies that he would need to gain from others. He wasn’t lacking money, had little material desires, rarely needed help from others, and if he could give it, Jeong Taeui would have liked to share some humanity, but that wasn’t possible either. (Even if it were possible to give, that man probably wouldn’t accept it.)

“The easiest would be your body. But that’s something I can experience anytime without it being a formal greeting, so it’s not new.”

Jeong Taeui stared at Ilay, wondering if there was anyone who wouldn’t get angry hearing such words. —However, he himself was already used to it, so he wasn’t particularly angry. This man wasn’t stupid. No, he could even be said to be exceptionally intelligent. So, even if he lacked a bit of humanity, he could easily master a way of speaking that didn’t overtly reveal it. But occasionally saying things that completely threw people off like this, it seemed he viewed Jeong Taeui as that amusing.

Once a person’s impression was formed, it was hard to change it. If one viewed someone as amusing, that perspective would be difficult to change even if that person rose to a position of leadership.

While Jeong Taeui lamented inwardly how he had been so easily pegged, Ilay, who had indifferently said it wasn’t new, grabbed Jeong Taeui’s head as if in a frenzy, then licked and sucked his cheek. His other hand rubbed Jeong Taeui’s chest over his shirt.

“…”

Shinru. It might be true that this guy has impure intentions toward me. It seems a bit different from what you meant, but seeing him shamelessly flirting like this, he must have some serious impure intentions.

Resentment flared up again. Even though he was trying to forget it a bit, and still didn’t dislike this man as much, at moments like this, resentment would surge convulsively and then subside. Jeong Taeui, clenching his fist, wanting to punch the back of this guy’s head, genuinely debated for a few seconds, but as always, he eventually sighed and released his fist. Then, Ilay, who seemed to sense his demeanor without even looking, chuckled.

“Hey. That hurts.”

Jeong Taeui frowned and said bluntly to Ilay, who had moved from his cheek to his mouth, biting and sucking his lips. The fingers that had been pinching and rubbing his chest over his shirt had tightened. Recently, Jeong Taeui had been quite bothered by how this guy, after seeing something or other, would quite strongly rub and pull at his chest, specifically his nipples. Biting and sucking were common. Because of that, they had been swollen all day before. When Jeong Taeui tried to remove Ilay’s hand from his chest, Ilay looked down at Jeong Taeui for a moment, then with a subtle smile, obligingly removed his hand. And then he whispered in his ear.

“At first, you didn’t feel much here, did you? Just said it hurt when I sucked.”

“What?”

“Sensitivity naturally develops in a sensitive direction… didn’t you feel it yourself?”

Jeong Taeui frowned at Ilay’s words. He couldn’t quite grasp what he meant. Ilay chuckled, then smoothly swept his palm down Jeong Taeui’s chest, over his shirt. The outline of his body rose beneath the thin fabric.

“Your nipples got hard, Taei. Very distinctly.”

Ilay whispered, gnawing at his earlobe with his tongue and teeth. The moment those words pierced his ear and registered in his brain, Jeong Taeui’s face burned.

“Then… don’t touch me!” Jeong Taeui cried out softly, and Ilay chuckled briefly. Then he lowered his hand and stroked Jeong Taeui’s groin.

“Why are you getting angry? It’s not unpleasant. When your body becomes more sensitive, just touching your nipples will make your lower body throb. That means you’re becoming more sensitive to pleasure, so isn’t it more enjoyable? I’m actually putting in effort for you. …I’ve never gone this far without just ramming it in.”

Jeong Taeui gripped his fist this time, feeling as if Ilay was saying, You’re receiving special treatment. And he swung his fist at Ilay’s temple, who had somehow already sprawled onto the bed and was half-mounted on him. Predictably, his fist was caught midway.

“I don’t care if I don’t get more sensitive, just get off!” Jeong Taeui cried out in frustration. Rather than anger, he actually felt a sudden chill. It was as if Ilay was slowly domesticating his body, and his heart pounded wildly. He knew that living sensitively, in any sense, was several times harder than living insensitively.

Ilay, who had lightly blocked Jeong Taeui’s swinging fist with his palm, slightly grimaced. For an instant, the amusement vanished from his face. Whether it was a deadly attack or a minor punch, regardless of the degree, Ilay had no mercy for anyone who tried to harm him.

Jeong Taeui gritted his teeth. Now this guy will break my arm or leg, revealing his vicious nature. What’s the most efficient way to get hurt the least and escape the fastest? His mind raced with that calculation.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you hit me twice. Did you forget?”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop a few degrees instantly. Weight pressed down on Jeong Taeui’s chest. It wouldn’t have been surprising if Ilay had slammed down and broken his ribs. Jeong Taeui clenched his fist, thinking inwardly, Why would you let me hit you if you blocked it? And in his mind, he measured the distance between the door and the bed, assessing his timing to escape.

However.

Ilay, who had been staring down at Jeong Taeui with knife-like eyes for a moment, suddenly grimaced. He glared at Jeong Taeui with a displeased, uncomfortable expression—it looked like he was debating whether to kill him—then let out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t do that. I told you I’m not in the mood to fight you right now.”

Jeong Taeui momentarily doubted his ears. It was unbelievable, but with a sigh, the intensity in his voice faded. The voice that had been as sharply cold as ice instantly returned to its usual tone, softly whispering in his ear and then kissing Jeong Taeui’s cheek. The way he alternately kissed his cheek and lips was terrifyingly gentle, leaving Jeong Taeui utterly immobile. It felt like someone gently stroking a child’s head after scolding them, feeling a pang of sympathy. Thinking that, Jeong Taeui shook his head inwardly. There was someone else suited for such an act. Even if anyone in this world could be like that, this man was absolutely not.

Jeong Taeui suddenly felt drained, slumped and limp. He found Ilay’s hands undoing his shirt and pulling down his pants a bit awkward, but he didn’t try to stop him. Whether Ilay was right or not, his nipples were hard, and his groin, where Ilay had rubbed, was also hard. And Jeong Taeui was getting weaker to desire.

A sigh escaped him.

“If you’re not in the mood to fight now, are you going to fight later?”

Tell me when that will be, so I can escape a hundred miles away before then, he added inwardly. Then, Ilay, who was pulling down Jeong Taeui’s underwear and rubbing the semi-hard flesh that sprang out, seemed to ponder for a moment. Then he said casually,

“Well. If the situation calls for it, then yes. But I don’t feel like it right now, anyway.”

“Why? Do you… like me, by any chance?”

Jeong Taeui flinched as Ilay’s thumb touched the entrance below his perineum, instinctively blurting out the question. His mouth moved on its own. It was because he had just recalled Shinru’s words. What he said was a mistake, a joke, but after saying it, he felt incredibly absurd.

The knuckle that had been probing the entrance stopped. Ilay, as dumbfounded as Jeong Taeui, stared blankly at him. Without a word, Ilay spat out his penis, then slightly raised himself, looking down at Jeong Taeui with a strange expression.

“Me, you?”

“No… I was… jo—”

He hadn’t expected him to look so dumbfounded, no matter what. He was good at joking; he could have just brushed it off as a joke.

Just as Jeong Taeui was about to click his tongue and wave his hand, Ilay suddenly burst out laughing.

“Ha, ahaha, hahahaha, that’s magnificent. That’s the most splendid thing I’ve ever heard. Yes, if I say I like you, will you obediently spread your legs without making a fuss? If that skips the troublesome procedures, I can say it as much as you want. Taei, I like you. No, ‘like’ is a bit weak.”

“Taei, I love you,” Ilay continued, chuckling. And then he started probing between Jeong Taeui’s legs with his fingers again. Jeong Taeui felt incredibly bitter. No, it was a little different from bitter.

It was like waking up from a dream after being doused with cold water. It was beyond the issue of liking or disliking. He would have preferred dislike. It would have been much more comforting to hear that he was disliked.

The moment he heard Ilay’s words, he realized a truth he had known in his head but hadn’t truly felt. He was nothing more than a convenient masturbation tool. From the beginning, Jeong Taeui too had intertwined his body with Ilay’s purely out of desire. However, Jeong Taeui had never regarded Ilay as a masturbation tool, unlike how Ilay regarded him. It was simply that Ilay was a person close to him, and somehow, that kind of contact had happened.

But Ilay’s gaze was fixed.

Ilay’s adjutant. Jeong Changin’s nephew. Jeong Jaeui’s brother. A masturbation tool. Those four.

“…”

This didn’t even make him angry. He wasn’t sad either. He wasn’t distressed or resentful. On the contrary, even the churning in his stomach from earlier subsided. His emotions had sunk beneath the surface.

Oh no. This isn’t good. It would be better to feel angry enough to shout or upset enough to cry openly. Feeling his own emotions cooling like clear water, Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue. He knew that if this feeling intensified even slightly, his heart would detach.

No, no. It’s not like I’ve been disappointed in this guy for a day or two; why be surprised now? It’s just another heavy stone added to the pile of disappointment.

Jeong Taeui sighed and calmed himself. This wasn’t for Ilay. It was for himself. Cutting someone out as if they don’t exist is the ultimate bastion of humanity towards another human.

Yes, I even put up with that damn Lieutenant Kim. …No, now Ilay seems more than capable of surpassing Lieutenant Kim.

Jeong Taeui sat up. Ilay, who had been burying his face between Jeong Taeui’s legs, also sat up. He heard the sound of pants and a zipper being lowered, and through them, his underwear was even pulled back, revealing a semi-hard penis springing out. A pale hand slowly rubbed and stroked the penis. The dark-red, erect flesh swelled even larger.

“Can I put it in?” Ilay asked subtly. Jeong Taeui immediately grimaced. And he said curtly,

“No.”

“Taei, I love you.”

A whispering chuckle. And a syrupy kiss touched his forehead, sweet enough to almost make one believe the whisper was real.

This madman. He wasn’t happy at all. His emotions kept sinking. Jeong Taeui quietly looked at Ilay, then reached out his arm. And he pulled Ilay’s neck down and kissed him. Was this the first time I initiated physical contact with him? he vaguely wondered.

He felt Ilay stiffen ever so slightly in his arms. Perhaps even this feels unpleasant to him, like an attack? But he thought, What does it matter anyway?

The body follows the mind. But the mind also follows the body. Now that he was so disappointed in this guy that even his resentment was cooling, all he could do was hope his body’s desire for Ilay would pull his mind back. His mind was indifferent, but the kiss was sweet.

Ilay, who had been stiff for a moment, suddenly wrapped his tongue around Jeong Taeui’s, as if challenging him to a fight. The sensation was painfully intense and sweet. His own surrender to desire was partly this man’s fault. He had a frightening knack for finding a person’s weak spots, no matter where or when he had learned it. Jeong Taeui tried to pull away, feeling breathless, but Ilay’s lips kept pursuing him.

“Hey, wait, I need to breathe…”

However, Jeong Taeui, who had been speaking brokenly, gasped and lost his words the next moment. In a moment of unguarded distraction, despite his firm refusal just moments ago, Ilay was thrusting his hips between Jeong Taeui’s legs. The penis, rubbing the entrance and lingering nearby, found an opening and plunge, pushed its way in. Just before Ilay, who had inserted the tip, tried to thrust further, Jeong Taeui grabbed Ilay’s neck and frantically pushed him away.

For a moment, he saw stars before his eyes. It was the same stars he had seen once before.

“I said no! Last time I thought I was going to die, and you want to do that again?! Get out! Absolutely not! The joint training isn’t even over yet, and you want me to be bedridden again?!”

“It’s true that it’s tough at first, but you need to do it often to get used to it and widen up.”

“What am I supposed to do with training tomorrow?! I can’t be absent, so I’d have to go even with a fever, crawl out there and get beaten up by others and sent to the infirmary?! Absolutely not today!”

Jeong Taeui desperately shook his head, regardless of what Ilay said. He thrashed his legs and hunched his body, and the tip of the flesh that had slightly entered lingered stubbornly for a moment, then at some point, it slipped out. It hurt so much that tears welled up. Ilay clicked his tongue in displeasure. His eyes narrowed. He looked as if he was contemplating whether to tie Jeong Taeui up again and assault him. But seeing Jeong Taeui’s resolute glare, which burned with a pale blue fire, he fortunately seemed to give up, shrugging his shoulders.

“Alright, fine. Then no insertion today. Instead.”

Jeong Taeui, who had breathed a sigh of relief at the mention of no insertion, frowned again at the “instead” that followed. Ilay looked down at Jeong Taeui, lost in thought for a moment, then whispered softly.

“Let me come. …Inside your body.”

The large hand gently gripping his buttocks felt incredibly hot. Jeong Taeui subtly tilted his head, looking at Ilay. Let me come… that’s obvious. He was so erect—Jeong Taeui himself was also erect—that he couldn’t possibly finish without coming. But he couldn’t quite understand the latter part of the sentence for a moment. Jeong Taeui stared at him skeptically.

“I said you absolutely can’t put it in. You said no insertion.”

“Yes. You seemed to have suffered quite a bit before, and as you said, the training isn’t over yet, so I won’t insert today. But I want to cum inside your body.”

“So you’ll only put in the tip then, right?” Ilay added, then leaned over Jeong Taeui again. His tone was firm, as if he would not compromise any further.

Jeong Taeui’s expression completely froze.

Of course, it would be much more comfortable than having that monstrosity fully inserted, but even just the tip was by no means a negligible mass. Jeong Taeui glanced down at the grotesque flesh squirming between his legs and swallowed dryly.

“If you’re not going to insert it anyway, there’s no real difference between just the tip and just holding it and rubbing, is there? So why does it have to be inside my body?” Jeong Taeui muttered in an unstable voice. Ilay threw Jeong Taeui down and leaned over him. As if he would no longer tolerate any objections, he let his lips glide down Jeong Taeui’s neck, then gnawed at his nipple, which was pointedly touching his jaw. He embraced Jeong Taeui’s bucking body and only spoke after a long moment.

“Well, now that I think about it, I don’t know why. There’s no reason why it has to be.”

At his indifferent words, Jeong Taeui breathed a sigh of relief. He felt like he had been saved. Even if only the tip entered, it would guarantee suffering tomorrow.

“But you see… I liked that. When I pulled it out after cumming inside your body before, it was a bit disappointing to see it flowing out. Well, I guess I can’t help it since you said your stomach would hurt all day if I didn’t pull it out, but I liked the feeling of cumming inside your body.”

However, when Ilay’s words continued, Jeong Taeui was speechless. This crazy bastard. It really seemed this guy had changed his profession from a madman to a pervert.

No matter where one ejaculated, a man’s body was designed to feel pleasure from the act itself. The location didn’t matter. Of course, there would be a psychological difference between doing it with someone you liked and someone you didn’t, but on a physical level, what did it matter where one ejaculated?

However, before Jeong Taeui could protest, Ilay was already pressing his hips tightly between Jeong Taeui’s legs.

“If you don’t like it, you can cum outside. But in return, if you do that, I’ll thrust it in all the way to the hilt.”

Jeong Taeui, looking at Ilay who spoke as if granting a favor, saying, “I’ll do whatever you want either way,” was truly speechless this time. He had countless things he wanted to say, but he choked, and no words came out.

Jeong Taeui, who glared at Ilay for a long time with eyes close to horror, finally collapsed onto the bed. Well, he thinks of me as a masturbation tool, so what did I expect? This damned bastard.

“…Do it inside… Damn it… But after I cum first.”

Jeong Taeui grumbled sullenly. Ilay, who had been staring down at Jeong Taeui sprawled out, muttering with the intention of just lying there and receiving service since things had come to this, chuckled. He chuckled softly for a moment at whatever he found amusing, then whispered, “Alright, I’ll do that,” and lowered his head.