Passion Novel - Volume 1 - Chapter 17

“It was the winter about two years after I graduated high school—ah, I skipped a grade, so I wasn’t an adult yet then—but I went to a place where only those kinds of people, um, men, gathered with a friend. And that’s when, I tried it for the first time, um…”

Xinlu’s face was completely red by the time he trailed off.

Jeong Taeui could only stare blankly at Xinlu, not even blinking. He seemed to be in a daze. His mind went completely blank, as if a part of his memory had vanished.

After a long silence, Xinlu, who had been hesitantly raising his gaze little by little, looked surprised and shouted, pointing, “Hyung! Your cigarette! Your cigarette!” Only then did Jeong Taeui, who had lowered his head, notice the cigarette butt that had fallen at his feet, where the embers had caught onto the dry grass, sending up a thin wisp of smoke. He panicked and stomped on the grass wildly.

After putting out the fire, Jeong Taeui nervously picked up the butt and put it in his pocket. He took out the remaining cigarette and tried to light it, but the lighter wouldn’t work properly. His fingers kept fumbling.

Wait, what did I just hear? I think I heard something strange, but it’s like a part of my memory is blank, and I can’t recall it. So, a little while ago, Xinlu called out to me, Taei-hyung. And after hesitating a lot, what he said was… Ugh, why won’t this damn lighter light?

Seeing Jeong Taeui struggling to light his cigarette even after clicking the lighter several times, Xinlu, still red-faced and looking guilty, approached hesitantly. He gently took the lighter from Jeong Taeui’s hand and lit it for him. “Ah, thank you,” Jeong Taeui said, lighting his cigarette, and wordlessly took the lighter back from Xinlu, putting it back in his pocket.

“……”

“……”

A delicate silence flowed between them. Xinlu stood in front of Jeong Taeui, close enough to touch if he reached out.

Jeong Taeui, exhaling smoke as he stared blankly at Xinlu, flinched in surprise when Xinlu coughed softly a couple of times. “Sorry,” he mumbled, quickly turning his head to puff out the smoke. Then he even put out the cigarette he had barely smoked. If Tou had seen him, he probably would have glared and ranted, but Jeong Taeui couldn’t care less about such things.

“…… Um, was it… good?”

As soon as he finally spoke after a long deliberation, Jeong Taeui wanted to chop off his own head.

What on earth did he just ask? “Good”? In this context, what the hell was he even talking about?

Indeed, Xinlu looked at Jeong Taeui with wide, startled eyes. Jeong Taeui waved his hand, stammering, “No, that’s not… I mean, I just… I meant, didn’t it make you feel bad?”

Xinlu quietly looked at Jeong Taeui’s face, which was full of embarrassment and confusion as he desperately tried to explain himself. Then, he slowly shook his head.

“It didn’t make me feel bad… it’s just that I’ve been too busy afterwards to go to such places even once… and since then, I haven’t been attracted to women…”

Xinlu’s nape flushed faintly as he lowered his head shyly. Watching him, Jeong Taeui’s already flushed face grew even hotter.

How funny would it be if someone saw them like this? Two grown men standing face to face with red faces, just looking down at their feet. But even if someone was laughing hysterically beside them, Jeong Taeui probably wouldn’t care. A hopeful thought, a “maybe, maybe,” warmed his chest and made his heart flutter.

Jeong Taeui aimlessly nudged the long cigarette butt lying at his feet back and forth with his toe. Then, Xinlu, who had been silent for a while, whispered softly.

“Taei-hyung. When we were drinking tea a few days ago…”

Jeong Taeui flinched, his toe stepping on the cigarette. His foot, dragging the cigarette, moved hesitantly.

“Because you touched me like that, and you smelled like soap, and you were so close to me, so… that’s why…”

“Uh-huh, I see…”

Jeong Taeui nodded and mumbled. That was all. Xinlu still had his head bowed, his face red up to his ears, and Jeong Taeui was no different.

Then, at some point, Xinlu very slowly raised his head. His dark eyes glanced up at Jeong Taeui. His moist, sparkling eyes made Jeong Taeui’s heart throb.

Just as Jeong Taeui was about to look away, Xinlu smiled slightly. He smiled shyly, only slightly lifting the corners of his mouth as if embarrassed. Jeong Taeui couldn’t take his eyes off his smiling lips.

“…… Hyung. Let’s go back together. I’ll wait here… no, I want to see the sea one more time too.”

With those words, Xinlu walked past Jeong Taeui and started walking back towards the sea. Jeong Taeui stood rooted to the spot, blankly watching Xinlu’s back. When Xinlu, who was some distance away, turned back and tilted his head questioningly, Jeong Taeui finally hurried after him.

His heart pounded wildly. His heart raced as if he had grasped an unbelievable stroke of luck.

He closed his eyes, unable to believe it, and opened them again, but Xinlu was still smiling there.

Ah, so misfortune doesn’t always have to come.

He felt like he could endure even if hundreds of guys like Rick from the European branch came tonight.

***

They arrived after dinner, exactly when the clock struck eight.

Jeong Taeui reflected on whether he had ever felt such a menacing atmosphere so viscerally in his life. Never. Even when he and Lieutenant Kim had fought so fiercely that the fight escalated into a platoon-wide brawl, and they had to go on a full-gear march side-by-side the very next day, it wasn’t this intense.

When they came down to the sixth basement level after a short orientation in the large lecture hall on the second basement level, the atmosphere in the hallway was truly chilling. A dozen or so men, especially those with grudges against the European branch, had gone out into the hallway and stood their ground, glaring silently at them with fierce expressions. Those who had come down the stairs in a rush also glared back with grim faces.

Jeong Taeui, who had no desire whatsoever to get involved in that confrontation, had already predicted such a situation and decided to stay quietly in his room when they arrived. But unfortunately, he ran right into them as he was coming out of the bathroom after finishing his shower.

Seeing a group of unfamiliar men rushing towards the stairs, Jeong Taeui thought, “Ah, they’ve finally arrived.” Seeing his colleagues standing their ground in front of them, he quickly slipped through the crowd and headed for his room. He instinctively started walking towards his own room but then turned and headed towards Tou’s room, where he would be staying for a while.

Only Moro, who shared a room with Tou, was in the room. They were from a different team, but he had seen his face and talked to him several times, so it wasn’t awkward.

“Looks like they’re here?”

Moro, engrossed in a puzzle magazine and chewing on his pencil, mumbled. Jeong Taeui replied, “Yeah, they’re here,” and went to sit on the bed, shaking his still damp hair with his hand.

Thankfully, this guy Moro didn’t seem to harbor much resentment towards the European branch. Tou had said it was because he had only been there for a few months and hadn’t had the chance to experience the European branch’s bullying. But Jeong Taeui, who hadn’t even been there for a few days, found it easier to empathize with Moro, who only showed a normal level of competitiveness, rather than Tou, who vehemently hated the European branch.

“Where’s Tou?”

“Bathroom. He took a manga magazine, so he won’t be back soon.”

Jeong Taeui nodded, listening to Moro’s reply as he mumbled without taking his eyes off the puzzle.

The guy who had been so vehemently waiting for “those bastards” to arrive was in the bathroom when they actually did. But even in the bathroom, he might rush out as soon as he sensed their presence.

Even inside the room, Jeong Taeui could feel the menacing atmosphere outside. Even if there wasn’t any actual fighting, he could occasionally hear curses and shouts that seemed meant to provoke jeers.

“Seriously, it wouldn’t be surprising if a full-blown brawl broke out like this. What a great atmosphere.”

“A brawl… I don’t like that.”

“Yeah. I’d rather pass too… If Tou heard us say this, he’d probably jump up and down and give us a long lecture.”

Jeong Taeui glanced at Moro and grinned. Moro smiled back.

“That Tou, he’s a good guy, but he’s a bit hot-headed.”

Moro shrugged in agreement instead of replying and turned his attention back to the puzzle.

Jeong Taeui began to unpack his things. There wasn’t much to unpack. He had hardly had any luggage when he first came to this branch, so there was no reason to need a lot of luggage for a temporary room change that would only last a few days. It was enough to carry everything in his two hands without needing a bag.

“Is it okay if I use the empty toothbrush holder?”

“Yeah, go ahead. Just don’t mix them up. Before, Tou bought a new toothbrush that was the same color as Ticknat’s, so they fought every day for a while about whose was whose.”

Listening to Moro, who was still engrossed in the puzzle but diligently answering, Jeong Taeui subtly checked the color of his own toothbrush and placed it in the bathroom. And when he was putting his underwear in the drawer, he heard a similar past story and checked his own underwear once more. He regretted bringing plain white underwear that could easily be confused.

He tried to close the drawer, but it wouldn’t close properly, as if something was caught inside. After opening and closing it several times, Jeong Taeui frowned and pulled the drawer all the way out.

“What’s caught in here that it won’t come out… Huh?”

Jeong Taeui pulled out a metal object that had been sticking out from between the underwear.

It was a Beretta.

Feeling the cool sensation of it fitting snugly in his hand, Jeong Taeui glanced at Moro. Moro, with his back slightly turned towards him, was still absorbed in the puzzle.

Personal weapons were prohibited within the branch. Even if they turned a blind eye, it would only be to knives or non-lethal guns. Occasionally, a gun enthusiast would secretly carry a gun, only to have it confiscated and futilely claim it was a toy gun. But the feeling in Jeong Taeui’s hand was real.

Holding the Beretta, Jeong Taeui lightly tapped the grip twice against his other palm. The magazine was full. He could shoot as soon as he released the safety.

Just then, Moro, twirling his pen, turned his head without any particular intention. And then he saw it. The Beretta in Jeong Taeui’s hand.

His expression instantly changed. With a startled face, he jumped up and rushed over to snatch the Beretta from Jeong Taeui. Jeong Taeui reflexively stepped back.

Moro’s face slowly contorted as if he had bitten into something bitter. Jeong Taeui chuckled inwardly, going “Ah-ha,” and grinned.

“Is this yours? That’s a violation of the weapons possession law, you know.”

“Give it back, damn it! I went through hell to get that model!”

Moro shouted with a sulky face, holding out his hand.

Come to think of it, he had once vaguely heard from Tou that the guy he shared a room with was a gun maniac and kept model guns stashed all over the room.

Someone like Tou wouldn’t mistake a real gun for a model gun, so he probably actually had model guns stashed all over the room as well. This guy, who was always buried in puzzles, must have been the gun enthusiast he had only vaguely heard rumors about. An unexpected hobby.

“You should take out the live rounds, the live rounds.”

Jeong Taeui readily handed him the gun.

That’s how it was here. Subtly dangerous guys were everywhere. Trying to survive in a place like this, he couldn’t help but worry about the future.

Jeong Taeui grumbled and suddenly yanked Moro, who was taking the gun. He reached inside his vest and groped around. Moro made a strange noise and flinched.

“Hey! Where are you touching!”

“What’s the big deal, we’re both guys anyway, just hold still… Ah-ha.”

“Hey, hey! Come to think of it, I heard you have designs on Xinlu! Hey, don’t touch me, I’m a pure soul! I don’t have a hobby of doing that with guys!”

“I have absolutely no desire to do anything with you either… More importantly, what’s this?”

Jeong Taeui grinned and pulled out a small metal object that Moro had hidden in a specially made pocket inside his vest.

“Oh-ho, a Colt .22… It’s kind of cute. What were you planning to use this for, carrying something like this around?”

“Give me back my cutie! Why do you keep messing with my babies!”

Moro snapped and snatched the Colt from Jeong Taeui’s hand. Readily letting him take the gun, Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue.

It seemed there was always one of these guys wherever he went. Back in the day, one of his classmates was obsessed with guns and had decorated his entire house with model guns. When Jeong Taeui asked, admiringly, “Doesn’t anyone catch you?”, he glared and threatened, “No one will if you don’t go blabbing,” so Jeong Taeui obediently shut his mouth.

Regardless of whether they actually used them, Jeong Taeui had seen about two guys in the past who were hopelessly in love with the allure of guns themselves. And now he had seen another one here.

“You’re Instructor Jeong’s nephew, right?”

Moro glared at Jeong Taeui with fierce eyes. Jeong Taeui hummed and then laughed.

“If I told someone that the guy in my room is crazy about guns, you’d probably shoot me before my uncle even barged into this room, right?”

“Of course! If you say anything, you’re dead!”

Making a threat that was clearly bluffing, Moro tucked the Colt back into his vest.

“Do you always carry that around… You’ll get caught.”

“Just keep your mouth shut!”

Moro snapped and went back to his desk. The way he glared at Jeong Taeui once more before roughly opening his puzzle magazine again clearly showed his irritation.

Jeong Taeui chuckled and resumed unpacking. But unpacking was an overstatement; it was over in an instant.

Jeong Taeui sat on the bed and looked around the room. Unlike his own room, where he lived alone, this room was filled to its three-person capacity. Moreover, since he had always disliked keeping things, his own room had hardly any belongings, whereas this room was so full of miscellaneous items that it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it was completely packed.

Jeong Taeui suddenly chuckled. It felt more nostalgic than unfamiliar.

In the military academy, and even when he lived in the BOQ—the bachelor officers’ quarters—he had shared a room with his classmates or colleagues. Back then, there was always someone among his roommates who couldn’t throw anything away and lived surrounded by piles of stuff. Eventually, another colleague couldn’t stand it anymore and yelled at him to throw some things away, which led to a minor conflict before it was resolved.

This room had a lot of things, but it was nothing compared to back then. This level could be described as having just the right amount of the flavor of human habitation.

Even as Jeong Taeui was slightly immersed in nostalgia in the unfamiliar room, the noisy and menacing sounds outside continued without ceasing. Occasionally, he could hear the clanging of cans or the sound of something metal being kicked. It wouldn’t be surprising at all if a fight broke out at any moment.

Eventually, the ominous sounds in the hallway seemed to subside for a while, perhaps because the European branch members had gone into their assigned rooms. Although they were supposed to share the men’s rooms on the same floor, the branch’s guards, not wanting to create unnecessary sparks of conflict, had appropriately divided the area, assigning the side closer to the east stairs to their own branch members and the side closer to the west stairs to the European branch members.

So Jeong Taeui had thought that since the bathrooms and toilets were different, there would be fewer chances for them to run into each other, but his thinking seemed naive. It was an atmosphere where they would point fingers and shout even if they met at opposite ends of a long hallway, and then rush at each other in a fit of rage, ready to tear each other apart.

There should be someone to stop them, but their relationship was so bad that there weren’t many people who even looked like they would try to intervene. The guards and officers would at least pretend to stop them formally, but if they really started fighting, it seemed like it would be impossible to control.

“I just need to be careful not to get caught in the middle of a whale fight and have my shrimp back broken…”

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue and muttered to himself. Moro must have heard him, as he glanced back at Jeong Taeui. He nodded emphatically, as if agreeing, and then became engrossed in his puzzle again.

Jeong Taeui chuckled. He had seen enough of the simple-minded nature of men burning with the desire to cooperate and defeat a common enemy, and it wasn’t that he disliked that kind of atmosphere, but in reality, Jeong Taeui had rarely participated in it. At most, it would be light events like sports days. So it was only natural that he didn’t feel like joining this fiery atmosphere where people actually got hurt.

Joint training would start in earnest tomorrow, and with things like this from the very first encounter, he was really looking forward to it.

Jeong Taeui scratched his head roughly, recalling his uncle’s not-quite-a-blessing, “You probably won’t die.”

Come to think of it, the highest number of deaths in any past joint training was six. So, calculating six out of ninety people, that’s about 1/15, or 6.7%. Rounding up, it’s 7%.

You never know what might happen, but still, what were the chances of him being one of those unlucky six or seven? Besides, that was the worst case in history, so it would probably be less this time.

Jeong Taeui tapped his heavy upper abdomen. Then he turned his gaze to the bookshelf that filled one corner of the room. Ticknat, who shared this room with Tou—and was now in the South American branch—had a reputation for being a bookworm, and indeed, there were quite a few books. The shelves on Ticknat’s side were packed tightly with books, two or three rows deep. He wouldn’t be bored without anything to read while staying in this room.

“……Ah.”

Just then, Jeong Taeui frowned slightly and suddenly muttered.

Why had he forgotten until now? Of all things to forget, seeing the books reminded him. He had left the book he borrowed from his uncle in his room. That 3500 dollars—his uncle had said he wouldn’t pay 3500 dollars for that book, but in Jeong Taeui’s mind, all the books on his uncle’s shelf were worth 3500 dollars—.

He had been reading it last night and just left it on the desk. Other books were mixed in, so it wasn’t likely that only that book would get damaged, but still, it was the most valuable thing among his belongings in his room, and since it wasn’t his, the weight of responsibility was even heavier.

“Damn it… I need to go get it.”

Jeong Taeui scratched his head and clicked his tongue.

What kind of idle person would harm a book? Still, the thought of something that wasn’t his being left unattended for two weeks made him uneasy. Especially since it was a 3500 dollar book that he wasn’t even confident he could replace even if he had the money.

He didn’t know who was staying in his room, but surely they wouldn’t start a fight just because he briefly went back to his room. No matter how terrible the relationship between the branches was, surely they wouldn’t go that far. Besides, when you thought about it, it was originally his room.

Jeong Taeui felt a bit uneasy, recalling Tou’s words about territorial invasion and the menacing atmosphere that permeated even through the walls, but he stood up, trying to relax. If things went wrong, he would just grab the book and run. Surely they wouldn’t follow him all the way to this room and cause trouble. That would definitely lead to a brawl, and he hoped they weren’t stupid enough to cross such a dangerous bridge.

No way. Often—or rather, almost always forgetting this fact, but anyway—these men who had come to UNHRDO were, first and foremost, kind and highly skilled personnel.

Jeong Taeui patted his chest a couple of times to reassure himself and was about to get up to go back to his room when he heard the sound of the door opening. Tou was coming in. Immediately after, the sound of the door slamming shut loudly echoed.

“…What’s wrong? Did you fall in the bathroom and land in the toilet?”

At Jeong Taeui’s question, Tou just glared at him with fierce eyes, without answering.

The way he stormed in, looking murderous, was like someone who had just been beaten up badly somewhere and had come back seething with unvented anger.

“Why are you glaring at me like that? It’s scary… Did you have a round with the European branch?”

When Jeong Taeui asked cautiously, Tou’s face contorted with more ferocity, looking agitated. He must have hit a nerve.

It hadn’t even been half an hour since the instructor had told the European branch members not to cause trouble after they arrived, but sure enough, it seemed to have been in vain. Or maybe this guy, who had been holed up in the bathroom, would insist he hadn’t heard any such instructions.

“Those bastards deliberately bumped into people as they passed by! So I grabbed one of them to punch him, but of all times, the instructor showed up then… Ugh, should have just punched him first, instructor or not.”

“It’s okay, you handled it well. What good would it do to cause a commotion on the first day? You’ll have plenty of chances to land a punch while avoiding the instructor’s eyes in the future anyway, right?”

Jeong Taeui patted Tou’s shoulder and smiled. Tou still looked displeased, but he seemed to have calmed down a bit.

It was helpful that his relationship with Lieutenant Kim’s platoon was bad in times like this. He should have soothed his subordinates once or twice. Although, in the end, he was the one who caused the trouble and got discharged.