Passion: Diaphonic Symphonia Novel - Chapter 43

Ilay Riegrow was still an unpredictable man.

There was only one thing that could be predicted.

That he would move unpredictably.

It was common for him to casually throw something he had cherished and treated carefully yesterday into the trash today.

Considering that – though he vaguely felt that emotionally such a thing wouldn’t happen – it wouldn’t be strange if he pointed a gun at him at any time.

Yes, look, he shot him today too. Even if it was an accident, he shot him, even in jest. Pointing the gun at him.

Jeong Taeui suddenly felt a throbbing pain in his side again and grumbled to himself.

“…Me?”

At that moment, a low voice came from beside him.

A voice completely devoid of any trace of emotion, starkly different from a moment ago.

Jeong Taeui looked at him. He was staring at Jeong Taeui with an unexpressive face. A quiet voice escaped his lips, as if to himself.

“Yes… yes. That could be. It could be.”

It was only a few seconds later that Jeong Taeui realized his mumbled words were an answer to what he had just muttered.

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue.

He knew that was his daily life, but to talk so audibly again… It seems I really need to open a school of common sense for guys like him. Starting with a basic course on what to say and what not to say.

Jeong Taeui pursed his lips bitterly and said to him,

“Well, that’s for then. Anyway, right now, I need to take good care of you and live.”

If someday later it all falls apart, then he would feel regret for a few days and move on. It might even be good in its own way. No more crazy bastards beside him, he could go anywhere he wanted, he could return to his familiar home country…

…But when it actually happened, he thought he would miss the small things.

Jeong Taeui stared at him.

Ilay’s black eyes, deep in thought with a hand near his temple, were staring back at Jeong Taeui from a distance of about two spans.

Every time he looked at this man, he thought:

This man’s eyes were sometimes terrifyingly cold.

When he was lost in thought, or occasionally talking about work with someone on the phone, his black pupils would narrow chillingly and freeze like ice.

Jeong Taeui only realized that black could be a cold color after seeing Ilay’s eyes.

But, who cares?

He knew that from the beginning.

Even if people said this man had personality issues or a mental state different from ordinary people, he already knew it well. And knowing all that, Jeong Taeui remained with him. That was simply because he was a human named Ilay Riegrow.

“You look so incredibly tempting when you’re just sitting there like that…”

Jeong Taeui suddenly mumbled. Right in front of him, Ilay was there, gazing at Jeong Taeui – or somewhere beyond him. His closed lips were particularly noticeable today.

“…”

Jeong Taeui suddenly, impulsively, leaned forward. And he pressed his lips against those silent lips.

Lips against lips, both closed, met. He felt the warmth of a body temperature on his lips. It was warm. The obvious fact that the other person also had blood flowing through him felt fresh.

Now that he thought about it, how many times had he kissed this guy? It didn’t seem like many.

But slowly savoring it, it felt quite good. The dry yet soft and warm touch pleased him.

“…This isn’t bad either.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled after holding his lips there for about ten seconds and then pulled his body back to its original position.

Ilay’s face was still in front of him.

But that face was different from a moment ago, it was looking at Jeong Taeui. It wasn’t the face that had been staring blankly at Jeong Taeui or something incomprehensible with cold, black eyes.

He frowned strangely, as if bewildered, and looked down at Jeong Taeui. The hand on his temple didn’t move.

“…Ah… he’s really dumbfounded. I quite liked it, to hurt someone’s feelings like that.”

Jeong Taeui scratched his head awkwardly. Then Ilay, who had been staring at Jeong Taeui with a strange expression, slowly opened his mouth.

“Rather than dumbfounded, ‘unexpected’ would be more accurate.”

“Unexpected… do you mean the kind of ‘unexpected’ that’s often followed by words like ‘misfortune’ or ‘calamity’?”

When Jeong Taeui asked seriously, Ilay’s eyes suddenly curved.

“I don’t think the ‘unexpected’ you know and the ‘unexpected’ I know are different in meaning, but when you say it like that, it sounds very different.”

At the same time as he finished speaking.

Ilay reached out. His white, large hand brushed Jeong Taeui’s earlobe and gently enveloped the back of his head. And he pulled him closer.

Their lips met once again. But it was clearly different from before.

…Ah. This is definitely him.

It was a sensation that made him think that without realizing it.

The tongue that forced its way between his lips felt like it would pierce right through to his body. Those lips, he felt, would soon swallow him whole. Or he would suffocate before that.

Whenever their lips met like this, it was always like this. Even if it started with a light touch, before he knew it, he would be struggling in a sensation as if he were being swallowed whole.

Even now.

Ilay, holding his cheeks and head, pressing his lips against him, tried to devour Jeong Taeui like a massive, unintelligent beast, or something of an entirely different species. It wasn’t a cute word like “kissing.”

Sometimes I’m scared of this guy… I feel like he’s really going to bite me.

Jeong Taeui began to pant, out of breath almost immediately, but a corner of his mind still held that thought. Then, a little later, feeling that he would faint from suffocation if he stayed like this, he pushed him away. However, his body, which seemed to give way slightly, remained rigidly still. It seemed he wouldn’t back down easily.

“Just a mo…”

Jeong Taeui, who had struggled to twist his head within Ilay’s hand and managed to utter a few words, had his breath stolen again by the lips that pursued him.

Wait, this situation is a bit problematic.

Firstly, he felt like he would really suffocate and faint if he stayed like this, and even if he didn’t faint, if things continued this way, it wouldn’t end here, and this wasn’t his room. Moreover, the owner of the room could return at any moment.

“W-Wait…!”

He twisted his head in the opposite direction again and shouted, but this man had no intention of listening. No, he even laughed softly, as if enjoying Jeong Taeui’s distress. Soon, laughter flowed into Jeong Taeui’s mouth.

Jeong Taeui, who was thinking of shouting something or kicking him, closed his mouth at that moment.

Just a little longer, then he could shout and kick him.

Jeong Taeui liked this feeling.

Sometimes, when Ilay kissed Jeong Taeui, if they were having some interesting conversation or if something suddenly occurred to him, he would laugh aloud.

When he laughed like that, with their lips and tongues entwined, his mouth felt ticklish. The low, soft laughter seemed to flow through his mouth directly into his ears.

Jeong Taeui liked the feeling of “eating” the other person’s laughter.

So, for now, he decided to stay quiet for a moment. Even if those hands began to move ominously around his waist and below, even if he started to feel increasingly in danger.

Just for a moment. Just a little longer.

That was why he was so lost in thought. That was why Jeong Taeui missed something important.

Even though the room was well soundproofed, if he listened carefully while quietly reading a book inside, he could hear footsteps from the corridor. Yet, Jeong Taeui missed those footsteps.

Therefore, when the door opened, even if the person hadn’t deliberately muffled their footsteps and crept closer, it was a sudden situation that occurred without any warning.

“I applied this before, and the bruise faded quickly. A contusion would heal naturally if left alone, but still, if possible…”

The door clicked open with a cheerful voice.

At that moment, Jeong Taeui suddenly snapped back to reality, as if returning from the otherworld.

He sharply opened his half-closed eyes.

Beyond Ilay, who filled more than half of his vision, he saw Christoph, standing by the doorknob, stopped in front of it.

He was just entering, holding what looked like a medicine bottle in one hand, and he simply watched the two of them for a moment.

“…”

He couldn’t even gasp. Jeong Taeui stared at Christoph blankly for a moment, and Christoph, though not looking so blank, met Jeong Taeui’s gaze with that peculiar, unconcerned expression that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

The only one utterly nonchalant in that space was Ilay.

“… …”

Even though he must have known someone had entered, and known that person was the room’s owner, Christoph, whom he was acquainted with, he didn’t even look back. No, he continued what he was doing as if he hadn’t noticed anyone had come in.

It was Jeong Taeui who stopped him from doing what he was doing – putting his hand inside Jeong Taeui’s shirt and rubbing his back.

“Wait, wait, …wait! Stop!!”

Jeong Taeui glared at Ilay, who didn’t seem to hear him even after he whispered a couple of times, and pushed him hard.

He pushed him with all his might, enough that it wouldn’t have been strange for him to roll off the stool, but he didn’t fall.

Still, he at least moved back a little, not approaching any further.

Ilay, whose work had been interrupted, looked down at Jeong Taeui with an displeased face.

“Why.”

“Why? Christoph is here.”

Jeong Taeui retorted fiercely, not to be outdone by Ilay’s dissatisfied voice, and pushed him again. Ilay, who obediently yielded and moved back another span, finally looked back.

“What impeccable timing to interrupt.”

Ilay clicked his tongue and mumbled. Jeong Taeui pushed his waist with his foot once more, this time firmly.

What to do, a feeling of dismay filled his mind.

Given that guy’s personality, he wouldn’t be pleased about this happening in his room. Although Christoph had now tacitly allowed Jeong Taeui into this room, he didn’t seem like the type to simply overlook two men entangled on his room’s stool – moreover, a stool next to his bed.

Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue.

“So, about this…”

But he stopped trying to make excuses, realizing that Christoph was staring at something intently, and followed his gaze.

There, his pants, with the buckle already undone and the zipper down, were visible.

“…!”

Jeong Taeui’s face hardened, as it seemed to explicitly say that he had just been about to do something intimately related to his lower body – no, he hadn’t intended to – but that’s how it looked.

Thinking about it, they were old enough to understand and overlook such matters. They weren’t middle or high school students, and while it wasn’t something to boast about, it wasn’t something to be shy about or hide either.

What he should be worried about was the fact that he was disheveled on Christoph’s bed stool, not that he had been caught in the act of trying to have sex. Moreover, he hadn’t shown such a serious scene. At most, their clothes were a bit disheveled, and their lips had touched.

…The only problem, perhaps, was that they were both men.

Unless Christoph was a fool, he must have already guessed.

When Ilay was an instructor at UNHRDO, he had gone everywhere, interrogating people to find Jeong Taeui, and shortly after finding him, he became a terrorist, mobilizing his colleagues to extract him from the Saudi Arabian dignitary’s villa. After that, he entered his disliked family home and had been living in the same house as Jeong Taeui for several years.

Rumors had already spread widely among their colleagues. Not only colleagues, but most people who had some acquaintance with Ilay knew Jeong Taeui’s name.

So, unless he was a fool – or someone who didn’t know Ilay Riegrow very well – he couldn’t help but suspect that their relationship was unusual.

Even so.

This situation was still embarrassing. It felt like overly exposing things that they usually pretended not to know about.

Jeong Taeui scratched the back of his neck and lowered his gaze to his feet. His neck felt hot, as if it was about to flush.

But then.

“It’s fine.”

While Jeong Taeui was awkwardly staring at his feet, Christoph’s unexpectedly cool voice was heard.

Jeong Taeui tilted his head, “Huh?”

Still standing at the doorway, holding the doorknob, Christoph looked at Jeong Taeui with his usual calm face. It seemed like he was mocking him for being so awkward, or perhaps implying that he was bothering him over nothing.

“I don’t have any particular prejudice against homosexuality. So if you’re worrying about me, you don’t have to.”

“Uh…”

Jeong Taeui didn’t know what to say, trailing off awkwardly and just blinking his eyes. An unexpectedly calm and kind answer came back.

He instinctively glanced at Ilay. Ilay, who had been interrupted and was sitting on the stool with a visibly displeased expression, had pulled the entire table that was a little distance away in front of him and was opening a cigarette box that lay on it.

He took a cigarette from the wooden box, which was more for decoration than actual smoking, and put it in his mouth.

Christoph looked at Jeong Taeui, who was staring blankly, alternating his gaze between Ilay and himself, and deliberately frowned. Then, as if it was too much bother to say more, he said:

“I’m not greatly interested in other people’s affairs, and I’m not that unsympathetic to other people’s hobbies. And if I had to say, I rather admire homosexuals. It must be a difficult relationship, so deciding to be together like that must have taken extraordinary resolve, don’t you think?”

Jeong Taeui doubted his ears for a moment.

When one hears something so unexpected from an unexpected person, one begins to wonder if one’s ears are mistaken or if the person in front of them isn’t the person they thought they knew.

Jeong Taeui went through such a brief internal doubt, and then, realizing that Christoph wasn’t joking but seemed to be genuinely saying such words, he was truly impressed.

To think he had such an unexpectedly humane side.

He truly hadn’t known he was a person who understood the pain of minorities. He didn’t even understand the majority of ordinary people, so he really hadn’t known he possessed this kind of understanding.

“Oh… right.”

Jeong Taeui was a little flustered and instinctively looked at Ilay. Ilay, who had lit a cigarette in someone else’s room without asking permission, was also looking at Christoph with a slightly bewildered expression.

Puffing on the cigarette and staring intently at Christoph, he tilted his head sideways and looked at the ceiling. Then, as if he suddenly understood, he nodded to himself.

“Th-Thank you for… understanding.”

Although he was surprised to see an unexpected side of him, Jeong Taeui still didn’t know what to say, so he stammered out those words for now. Christoph then shrugged his shoulders slightly. And he looked at Ilay with a curious expression.

“But it’s surprising. I was half-doubting when I heard Rick was living with a man. …I never imagined that Rick, of all people, would endure celibacy.”

Christoph nodded his head greatly, as if he himself was impressed, and mumbled as if to himself.

At that moment, Jeong Taeui froze with his vaguely smiling face.

Hmm…?

He felt like he had just heard something that didn’t fit the flow.

Jeong Taeui stared blankly at Christoph with his frozen smile. Christoph let out a “Hmm” and sighed, then looked at Jeong Taeui.

“If you think about it, compared to heterosexual relationships where a relationship can be maintained simply by physical intimacy, even without mutual respect or affection, same-sex relationships, where physical intimacy isn’t really possible, can be said to be purer as they can only be maintained by emotional connection. …I don’t think there’s any need to be so shy and hold back your body.”

Jeong Taeui stared intensely at Christoph, with a surprise akin to shock. As if trying to bore a hole through his face.

Christoph seemed to be trying to encourage Jeong Taeui in his own way. The fact that he was a person capable of showing such concern and comfort to others was another small surprise. But…

“My ears are acting strange again… Or am I just dull-headed right now? Well, I only slept less than three hours last night reading a novel.”

Jeong Taeui mumbled, rubbing his ear. Then, he glanced at Ilay again. He was still looking at the ceiling, just puffing out smoke.

“…”

He probably misunderstood, but he still felt like he had to address it.

“A relationship of just the body… or rather, that relationship of just the mind…”

As Jeong Taeui mumbled hesitantly, scratching near his temple, Christoph frowned slightly.

“What about it?”

“No… well, about same-sex sexual relations for a moment…”

“What do you mean, sexual relations between the same gender? Women don’t have anything to insert, and men don’t have anywhere to insert it. …You didn’t know that?”

Christoph looked at Jeong Taeui with a horrified expression. And Jeong Taeui also looked at Christoph with a horrified expression.

“… …”

Interpreting Jeong Taeui’s dumbfounded, wide eyes in some way, Christoph clicked his tongue, sighed, and said,

“Well, you can go as far as petting, I suppose. In terms of ejaculation, masturbation or oral sex is possible – which could also be called sex – but fundamentally, if you can’t have physical intercourse, then it’s emotions that sustain the relationship, after all.”