Passion: Diaphonic Symphonia Novel - Chapter 21

Only after Christoph’s presence disappeared up the stairs did Jeong Taeui head for the dining hall.

It was true; he was really hungry. It was natural to be hungry after hauling stacks of books all afternoon.

“If I build up my strength like this, I could even work for a moving company later if needed…”

Jeong Taeui rubbed his arms, which no longer felt sore, having been doing heavy labor for a while now. He felt a little pleased that his muscles seemed to have gotten firmer.

“Yeah, I’ll build a great body and attract everyone’s attention…”

As Jeong Taeui rubbed his arms and patted his thighs unnecessarily, he entered the dining hall. He sensed an unusual atmosphere, muttered, “It’s rather quiet today,” and raised his head.

He thought there weren’t many people today, but that wasn’t it. The number of people was the same as usual, adequately filling the dining hall. Although the faces of the people he encountered every day differed slightly, they were mostly similar people, sitting in roughly similar places as yesterday.

The only empty seats were Christoph’s and Richard’s, which were always empty unless they themselves were present.

Jeong Taeui scanned the dining hall, where an unusually quiet and mild meal was taking place today, and finally directed his gaze to the empty seat at the very front. At that moment, the hand rubbing his arm dropped.

Richard was there.

He was sitting across from Christoph’s empty seat, in his usual spot, occasionally exchanging brief conversations with the person next to him as he ate.

However, Richard didn’t matter to Jeong Taeui. Only the person sitting next to him, talking with him, caught Jeong Taeui’s eye.

Again, the stylish suit, unfamiliar even on a second look, almost made him overlook it, but the gloves he was wearing, even in this setting, instantly caught his eye.

Ilay.

He was there.

Jeong Taeui blinked in disbelief, his gaze fixed on Ilay as he walked to his own seat, almost stumbling over chairs or flowerpots a couple of times.

He finally regained some composure after knocking over a flowerpot and sat down. Ilay seemed to have briefly glanced his way, but Jeong Taeui deliberately avoided looking in his direction, focusing solely on his own plate.

“They say you completely rearranged Christoph’s study today. There must have been a huge number of books in there, so you must have had a tough time.”

Johan, who was already sitting next to him and had emptied half his plate, said this instead of a greeting, as if commiserating.

No, it was actually good exercise, so it was alright… Jeong Taeui was rambling on, then suddenly fell silent. He stared at his plate for a long time again, then picked at a bean with his fork and mumbled,

“But that person at the front, sitting next to Richard…”

“Oh, right. Crazy Rick.”

Johan answered after a pause, as if hesitant to even utter the name, then frowned and shrugged.

“He said he’d be eating dinner here starting today.”

Jeong Taeui poked a halved bean fiercely with his fork again, glaring at the innocent Johan.

“No, a distinguished guest like him should properly eat in the East Wing! Why is he coming here and disturbing the pleasant dining atmosphere?!”

If he were to calmly reflect on these words, he would realize that the part about “pleasant dining atmosphere” was a ridiculous lie, but Jeong Taeui didn’t have the luxury of pointing that out right now.

This was like sitting on pins and needles. A thorny path.

He would rather Ilay burst into his room right now and threaten him, saying, “You were told to stay home, but you bravely went out, didn’t you?!” At least that would be something he was mentally prepared for, and he would accept it with a firm heart.

However, he didn’t know what that man was thinking; he just smiled meaningfully, his eyes shining chillingly, but showed no sign of saying anything to Jeong Taeui. No, he was completely pretending not to notice him. And that made it even scarier.

What is this, he’s not trying to drain my blood or something? …No, maybe he is.

Jeong Taeui thought, seriously mashing a bean.

—See you again later.

Was that subtle smile earlier meant like this?

“Should I just sneak into his room tonight and settle this once and for all?”

It might be more comforting for his future to just stick his head out and say, kill me if you’re going to, rather than constantly flinching with a guilty conscience. It felt much more peaceful to just stick his head out first and pay for his sins.

“But what mortal sin have I committed to deserve this…”

He suddenly felt sad and dropped his fork with a clatter. Johan, who had been tearing at meat beside him and intently observing Jeong Taeui, calmly said,

“What mortal sin did that bean commit?”

“It’s already dead!”

Jeong Taeui shouted, tapping the mashed cooked bean, which no longer retained its original shape. Johan clicked his tongue, meticulously picking every last bit of meat from the bone.

“Even if it committed a mortal sin, wouldn’t preserving the body intact be the last courtesy to life?”

“I think you should spit out the meat in your mouth before you say that.”

Jeong Taeui retorted, looking at the large bone that was going in and out of Johan’s mouth.

Someone sitting at the front had said he would kill and eat the body if necessary. Recalling those words, the bone Johan was gnawing on didn’t seem so ordinary.

Feeling a sense of mourning for the animal that had been alive and walking just a week or two ago, Jeong Taeui picked up his knife.

“By the way, seeing as you know Rick too, he really is famous, isn’t he? Notorious, I mean.”

“Of course, he’s notorious.”

When Jeong Taeui answered bluntly, Johan started laughing wildly. He laughed maniacally with the bone in his mouth, wondering what else was so funny. This guy sometimes laughed like a madman at trivial things.

“Hey, you might not know, but he’s become a lot more human. Since there’s a family connection, he used to visit or be visited often whenever there was something big to celebrate or console. When he was little, he couldn’t even speak… But look at him now, he looks perfectly normal on the surface.”

Johan giggled, leaning towards Jeong Taeui. He pointed at Ilay with the tip of the bone as he spoke, then suddenly seemed to recall a bleak past, sighing deeply and shaking his head.

“When he was little, did he walk around with ‘I am a dangerous person’ written on his forehead or something? …Actually, that would have been better. A lunatic who looks like a lunatic is at least better. You can recognize him and avoid him.”

Jeong Taeui muttered gloomily.

If he had been able to recognize him beforehand, at the very beginning of all this, he wouldn’t have answered the call from that bastard when he was in his uncle’s room. No, if he had answered and realized the ominous nature of that white hand, he would have hung up immediately and not even gone near his uncle’s room.

It was too late to talk about it now, though.

(However, when he lamented his belated regrets with such a gist, his uncle snorted and dismissed Jeong Taeui’s regret. “You were finished the moment you pointed a gun at Rick’s head in the dining hall on the first day of joint training. You knew he was crazy even then, so why did you do it?” Jeong Taeui remembered feeling his stomach churn because he had no rebuttal.)

“No, as I recall, when that guy was younger and couldn’t control himself well, he always wore blood-stained clothes. So he looked dangerous at a glance. Then, as he matured a bit and his skills developed more viciously, he became good at handling things without getting blood on his clothes.”

“…”

Jeong Taeui suddenly lost his appetite, stopping the fork that was about to pick up the mashed beans midway.

It seemed that vicious skill had developed and led to the conclusion of gloves. Indeed, throwing away gloves every day was much more economical than throwing away clothes.

“Anyway, he looks perfectly normal on the surface. It’s just the poor people who approach him unknowingly.”

“Hmm…”

Jeong Taeui had nothing to say and quietly swallowed his soup. Next to him, Johan picked up a new piece of meat and mumbled,

“They say the more toxic something is, the flashier and more noticeable it becomes. It seems true. Sitting there so well-dressed, he has the kind of face that would make women flock to him.”

People these days, they shouldn’t try to date based on looks, you know? How would they know if they’d end up with someone like him?! Johan complained in a jealous tone. Jeong Taeui half-listened to him, still muttering blandly.

“Really? I don’t know. Wouldn’t a man who seems to care about his attire from head to toe like that be rather off-putting?”

“No, I did a localized survey on my three girlfriends, and 100% of them liked men who dressed well. Isn’t that an amazing probability?!”

“It’s amazing that you’re talking about 100% with just three people…”

Jeong Taeui mumbled, half-dumbfounded, half-admiring, but Johan paid him no mind.

Perhaps it was his imagination, but he kept feeling a stinging gaze from earlier. He was too scared to turn his head in that direction, but the feeling was incredibly distinct.

Damn it, I really should just storm into that bastard’s room tonight and tell him to take me, eat me, or something…

Thinking he should call Kyle instead of writing a will—after pouring out all his resentments to Kyle—Jeong Taeui grabbed the tomato soup bowl and drank it directly from the plate.

Even if he miraculously survived, he wouldn’t be able to walk properly for three or four days. The thought instantly deflated Jeong Taeui.

“Moreover, it was also concluded with a 100% probability that they like something solid.”

Johan, who was still rambling on about something, suddenly lowered his voice and whispered, “This is something I’m telling you specially.”

“66.6% said they liked it big and substantial, and 33.3% said they weren’t particularly constrained by size but preferred something substantial over something meager. So, effectively, it’s 100%.”

So, I told you not to talk about 100% with just three people… Before he could scold him, Jeong Taeui, who hadn’t been listening intently to Johan’s words for a while, couldn’t follow his story.

As he blinked and stared at him with a what do you mean? expression, Johan clicked his tongue, seemingly frustrated, and said again,

“I mean, that! That!”

Only when he saw Johan’s gesture, pointing to his crotch with his thumb, did Jeong Taeui finally understand what he was talking about.

“Ah, that… Right, it seems to be the general perception. But why is that relevant?”

Jeong Taeui, who asked why the topic had suddenly shifted to the conditions for a man to be popular with women, instinctively flinched and became defensive when Johan narrowed his eyes and stared intently at him.

“I’m telling you beforehand, I’m not small.”

Sometimes, when he had discussions like this abroad, he encountered their prejudices. Orientals are smaller than Westerners.

From what Jeong Taeui had seen, it didn’t seem to be entirely false on average, but still, as a man, he couldn’t help but feel a surge of anger when met with a look that asked, You’re small, aren’t you?

But Johan didn’t seem to be saying that. “No, no, that’s not it,” he said, waving his hand.

“I mean that guy. Rick. It’s not just his face that makes women flock to him. It’s that.”

“…”

The sudden direction of the topic completely ruined his appetite.

Jeong Taeui, who happened to be picking up a grilled pine mushroom at that moment, silently glared at the mushroom. Very fiercely.

“That guy’s thing is supposedly huge. They say it’s really something. And this is a definite rumor because I have a cousin at the UNHRDO European branch. Rick was there until a few years ago, and the bathrooms there are communal. My cousin said he saw it himself, and it’s supposedly almost like an arm. The rumor has become legendary within the branch. …Hey, but that mushroom of yours looks really big and appetizing.”

“… …You eat it.”

Jeong Taeui handed the grilled pine mushroom to Johan, fork and all. Johan, who was tearing at a piece of meat with one hand, widened his eyes and said, “Oh, really?” then smiled and eagerly took it.

Jeong Taeui only drank water, looking enviously at Johan, who was happily biting into the grilled pine mushroom without any ulterior motives.

So, people should date based on personality, not looks, personality, or else their lives might end in an instant, you know, Johan, who was spouting such reasonable words in a very envious tone, had just the other day shamelessly declared, “When dating, the first thing, the second thing, and the third thing is always the face,” and almost got stabbed by the women sitting nearby.

Wow, grilled pine mushrooms really taste good no matter when or where you eat them, Johan muttered contentedly. Jeong Taeui sighed and stood up.

“…I think I’ll go up and rest now.”

His appetite was gone, and a few days’ worth of fatigue suddenly washed over him at once. Thinking it would be better to go up and lie down, Jeong Taeui swayed and left his seat.

He wondered why humans lacked the ability to concretely imagine a reality they already knew. For instance, when a deadline for a task approaches, they know full well that if they don’t diligently finish it, they will suffer later, yet they can’t concretely imagine that suffering, so they end up grinding their teeth and weeping bitterly, chasing after the work only when it finally hits them.

Even though he knew it would be incredibly painful if he were to go to Ilay tonight and stick his head into his gaping maw to settle things quickly, and even though he knew that pain, Jeong Taeui found himself unable to recall how painful it actually was.

No, but I’ve gotten used to it to some extent. Now, when I’m in good condition, it doesn’t feel like I’m going to die.

…But today, he wasn’t in good condition. And he hadn’t done it for a while.

Jeong Taeui decided to try to tease him a bit longer, since that bastard was pretending not to know.

“Today, the pine mushrooms are big and fresh, full of juice. They really melt in your mouth.”

“…”

“Why aren’t you eating this delicious thing? Huh? Going already?”

Jeong Taeui turned his back on Johan.

It was a matter of timing, but having any more conversation with him right now would be no different from psychological torture.

Jeong Taeui swayed, bumping into things here and there on his way to the door, just as he had on his way to his seat in the dining hall. Just then, his eyes met Richard, who had turned his head to talk to a waiter.

“You just came in a moment ago, have you already finished your meal?”

He spoke with his usual gentle smile. Jeong Taeui nodded, admiring how Richard was so thoughtful and considerate towards those around him. In truth, he hadn’t even eaten half of his meal because of the man beside Richard, who had just seemed to notice Jeong Taeui’s presence and was now giving him an indifferent look.

“Yes. You look unwell, go and rest.”

Jeong Taeui bowed his head to the kind man who was even worried about him, then subtly slipped past him and headed for the door.

It was just as he was passing directly behind Ilay.

“Indeed, you don’t look well. You seemed close with Johan, why don’t you ask him to help you?”

His voice stretched out like a hand, seemingly grasping his nape.

Jeong Taeui turned to Ilay, his eyes wide.

“You… no, how do you know Johan?”

This time, Ilay cast a bewildered glance at Jeong Taeui.

“Just as you know my family members inside and out, I know the Tarten family members well. Besides, I’ve met and spoken with Johan a few times when we were children. Though it’s been over 20 years.”

Come to think of it, that was true.

In fact, most of the young people in this dining hall were, in a broad sense, all friends. Among them, a few would strongly insist, ‘I absolutely do not want to be called friends with that bastard.’

“Well, Christoph rarely seems to like him, but he’s not here now.”

Ilay added, as if to himself, looking at the empty seat across the table. Beside him, Richard looked at Ilay with a strange expression, smiling faintly.

“Seeing you hold someone up and say such silly things, you too seem to rarely like him.”

“Did it seem that way?”

Ilay let out a short laugh, “Ha,” a cold laugh as if he had heard a funny joke. He looked at Jeong Taeui with a fresh gaze.

“Well… it is strange to see an East Asian staying and moving around this house. It also reminds me of someone I left back home.”

If Jeong Taeui had heard those words from someone else, he would have immediately shouted, ‘Don’t lie! There’s no way you’d say such humane and emotional words!’ But since it wasn’t someone else’s business, he had nothing to say.

Richard, looking as if he had seen something truly strange, slightly widened his eyes and smiled with curiosity, looking at Ilay, but he then seemed to nod in understanding, saying, ‘You’ve changed a bit too in the years I haven’t seen you.’

While they conversed, Jeong Taeui, who was unwittingly stopped in the middle of their conversation, finally sighed quietly and rubbed his stiff neck.

“If you’re done talking, I’m leaving.”

Jeong Taeui said, even thinking of flipping the table over again if they stopped him this time—Alta’s words were right. It was only hard the first time—but Richard only bade him to go and rest, and Ilay didn’t even look back.