Passion: Diaphonic Symphonia Novel - Chapter 12

“What did he say…? Did you explain it well?”

Jeong Taeui asked, clutching his pounding heart. In truth, no matter how well he explained, he would likely still be worried about the future, but he wanted to survive without trouble if possible.

‘Ah… well…’

His heart thumped at Kyle’s evasive voice.

“You didn’t just hang up after hearing I left, did you?!”

If he only misunderstood and didn’t resolve that misunderstanding, he’d have to seriously worry about the future. Like that time before, there was no law against him covering his mouth and causing trouble before he could even make an excuse.

‘No, it’s not that, he called but I couldn’t answer.’

At Kyle’s troubled words, Jeong Taeui almost dropped the phone, but managed to keep his grip.

No, it’s fine. It’s better than just misunderstanding and losing contact, isn’t it? It’s even better if he doesn’t even know I’ve left the house.

Jeong Taeui soothed his pounding heart and asked again.

“So you mean you didn’t get in touch?”

‘Hmm. That’s right. But… there was a missed call message. A message for you.’

But then, Kyle prolonged his words slightly, hesitating, and an ominous feeling swept over Jeong Taeui again.

“What did he say?”

‘If you leave, you die.’

“…”

‘…’

Ilay’s voice overlapped with Kyle’s message. It felt chilling, like a whisper right next to him, creeping from his ear to his neck, down his spine.

‘…If he calls again, I’ll explain it well to him.’

“Please do your best.”

‘Okay. …Don’t worry too much. He’ll never think you ran away from him.’

“I hope so.”

‘No, believe me.’

Kyle, perhaps pitying Jeong Taeui who was muttering dejectedly, asserted firmly in a strangely forceful tone. Jeong Taeui only smiled bitterly. Kyle was certainly someone he could trust and rely on, but somehow, this time, he felt completely unreliable.

Still, looking back at the past few months, Ilay had lived remarkably quietly. Perhaps his personality had improved a lot. Maybe he had become much more humanized.

Jeong Taeui, harboring a sliver of hope, exchanged a few more words with Kyle, his mind still reeling, then hung up the phone.

“…”

Even after that, he stared at the receiver for a long time, then suddenly tossed and turned, covering his face with his pillow. He mumbled, “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know,” pressing the pillow down firmly.

Jeong Taeui, who had been like that for a while, oblivious to his breath being stifled, suddenly sat up. And took a deep breath.

“No. Let’s think positively. He doesn’t know I’m not home yet, right? That’s right, I said I’d be back in a month, so if I find the book and leave before then, it’s a done deal. …Right. Sorry, Kyle, but if push comes to shove, book or no book, I should just go back before the month is up.”

Jeong Taeui thumped his chest and tore at his hair.

With such a timid heart, what on earth possessed him to tell that guy he was leaving? If he hadn’t made that assertion, his heart would feel a tiny bit lighter now.

But as always, regret, no matter how quick, was always too late.

Sometimes when dreaming, there are moments when you realize, “Ah, this is a dream.”

In such cases, it was usually easy to open your eyes if you tried to wake up from the dream. That’s why it was good when you realized a nightmare was a dream.

But in cases that weren’t nightmares, even if you realized you were dreaming, you didn’t necessarily try to wake up. You would think, “It’s a dream,” but still move within the given situation. That was a peculiar feeling in its own way, but not bad.

This was such a time.

For no reason, he suddenly thought, “Ah, I’m dreaming right now.”

But before his eyes was a clear, distant blue sky, the fresh scent of newly grown grass wafted sweetly, the breeze blowing just right was cool, and there was no shadow in his heart.

What reason would there be to wake up from such a vivid and peaceful dream? He lazily stretched, then suddenly realized.

He had experienced this once before. On a perfect day like this, lying under the shade of a tree in the backyard, peacefully tossing and turning, enjoying that leisurely time.

This dream was perfectly reflecting a past memory.

‘Ah… It really looks like a sky that would crack if you threw a stone at it.’

At that time, he had mumbled this languidly and pleasantly to himself. Yes, that’s right, it was like that. What did he do next?

He didn’t constantly recall and remember every large and small event that had happened in the past. Trivial things were forgotten and not deliberately brought out of memory as he lived.

So, to see insignificant things he had forgotten in this way again, it was also a strange feeling.

‘I’ narrowed my eyes and stared blankly at the sky for a long time. Then, at some point, I sighed contentedly and stood up. I was thirsty, and I was getting tired of lying down like that.

Since the mini-bar in the room had run out of beer, I thought of getting a cold can of beer from the kitchen refrigerator and taking it back to the room.

It seemed like the perfect way to spend a rare free afternoon, drinking beer by the window, enjoying the breeze, and slowly flipping through an art book by my favorite painter.

‘I’ opened the refrigerator in the kitchen, pondered for a moment, then took out two cans of beer. And I walked towards the room.

It seemed Ilay had pulled an all-nighter, as if he had a pile of work to handle. Even when ‘I’ woke up in the morning and came out of the room disheveled, he was still sitting at his desk, having been up all night. Only when ‘I’ washed my face and somewhat cleared my head did he finally finish his work and go to sleep.

Even when ‘I’ came out to the backyard to enjoy this bright afternoon’s leisure, he was still asleep.

From the lack of sound, it seemed he was still sleeping, but just in case he was awake, I’d take him a can of beer. If he wasn’t awake, ‘I’ would drink both cans.

‘I’ hugged the two large beer cans and softly padded towards the room, trying to keep my footsteps quiet. Anyway, if he was still asleep, I had no intention of waking him intentionally.

Turning right at the end of the hallway led to his room, and turning left led to ‘my’ room. It was practically spitting distance, and usually such distinctions meant little, but that’s how it was set up.

At the end of the hallway, I looked right. The bedroom door, which had been closed just moments ago, was open. He must have woken up.

Should I deliver a cold beer, perfect for waking up? I turned that way. Then I suddenly realized.

The door to the study, opposite the bedroom, was also open a hand’s breadth.

He seemed to have woken up and was sitting in the study.

I thought he had finished all his work and gone to sleep in the morning, but did he still have work left?

‘I’ scratched my head and quietly approached. I was about to say, “I’m coming in,” to the slightly ajar door, but I paused.

A low voice was leaking from inside. He seemed to be on the phone with someone.

‘I’ pushed the study door. The door, which was open a hand’s breadth, opened by three hands’ breadths. Perhaps sensing my presence, he, who was sitting at the desk on the phone, looked back.

I gave a slight wave of my hand, telling him to continue his call without minding me, then entered the study and sat on the floor. I placed the beer cans next to me and leaned against the bookshelf, pulling out a book within reach. It was a collection of photography.

As ‘I’ slowly turned the pages of the book, which contained a mix of black and white and color photographs, ‘I’ opened a beer can with one hand. The small, fizzy sound of carbonation bursting was pleasant to hear.

While ‘I’ drank beer and turned the pages of the photo book, he continued his call.

‘…Yes, that wouldn’t be bad. Quite good terms. …Ah, yes. The compensation isn’t outrageous for the content of the work. So, the duration?’

I felt his gaze on the top of my head, but I paid no mind.

Roughly guessing, it seemed a job request had come in. He often received work requests from somewhere like that. Sometimes I knew what kind of work it was, sometimes I didn’t. If it was work he could do at home, I’d roughly know what he was doing by seeing him come and go. But if it was work that required him to go outside, I had no way of knowing. I never bothered to ask what kind of work he did. It felt like the more I knew, the more of the dark world I would see.

However, the request he was discussing now seemed to be work that required him to go outside.

How long would he be gone this time?

Usually a few days, at most a few weeks, but work that lasted for weeks was rare. He usually returned within a week.

A wanted man walking around so freely, what are the police doing…?

I was thinking such thoughts, putting my own situation aside, when he, who had been silent for a moment as if listening to something, spoke.

‘I won’t do it.’

At that short answer, I looked up from the photo book.

His hair was sticking up in a few places, as if he had just gotten out of bed. He looked a bit funny, frowning slightly in that state. Like he was throwing a tantrum from sleep.

By the way, just a moment ago, he seemed pleased with the “quite good terms” and “generous compensation,” so what could have been added to make him so flatly refuse?

‘I’ sipped my beer and looked at him. He said, ‘Yes, those terms are certainly too good to pass up,’ but still showed no particular regret, cutting him off again. He said, ‘Still, no.’

From the other end of the phone, the other person seemed to be protesting something. The faint, almost inaudible voice of the other person seemed to be saying something about how such good terms were rare.

But he didn’t even bother to listen to all of it and just clicked his tongue.

‘It’s too long. I don’t intend to be away for a month. The terms are good, but I don’t like it enough to be away for that long.’

Aha. Indeed, it had only been a few days since he returned from being away for about three or four weeks. He must want to rest.

‘I’ nodded to myself and chewed on the corner of the beer can.

Just then.

‘Did you bury a honey jar at home or something?! Why aren’t you taking this great job?!’

The other person shouted so loudly, as if in a fit of sudden anger, that I could hear it even in ‘my’ ear. Judging by his tone, it seemed like an old, suspicious colleague who sometimes called him. I hadn’t seen him, but he was one of the old colleagues who shared the same crazy den…

At that booming sound, I unconsciously looked up from the photo album and blinked at him. By chance, I met his gaze, as he had briefly glanced my way.

But he soon turned his head and simply replied brusquely.

‘Don’t make me say it twice. I won’t do it.’

Then he hung up the phone.

‘…’

‘I’ sat on the floor, beer can in my mouth, and stared up at him. He clicked his tongue, then picked up the beer can next to ‘me’. As if he knew all along it was his share.

‘If the terms are so good, why don’t you just do it?’

‘I won’t.’

‘Hmm… Well, he hasn’t been back long, so he can rest for a while, unless he absolutely has to work like crazy. But you’ve been going out for work quite often lately, haven’t you?’

‘I’ nodded and mumbled, then lowered my gaze back to the photo book.

Ah. 1952, Henri Cartier-Bresson, I like this photo…

As ‘I’ stroked a black and white photograph and stared at it blankly, I heard him approaching slightly and speaking.

‘But the pay isn’t great. Maybe it’s because of the recession, but it’s meager.’

He said casually, bending over in his chair, looking at the photo ‘I’ was viewing upside down.

‘…’

‘…’

‘I’ pondered for a moment whether to tell him that the other night, when the water pitcher was empty and I woke up to get a drink and was returning to my room, I overheard him through the open study door talking about millions of euros in compensation.

But looking at the brazen mouth of his, who stared back at ‘me’ calmly after looking at the photo, I decided to just keep quiet.

‘Right, I’ll work hard and be responsible for feeding you…’

Thinking that he should ask Kyle for compensation for helping him with his work, ‘I’ sighed in response. And I fixed my gaze back on the photo book.

A very faint breeze brushed the top of my head. He must have smiled.

Smile, you wicked extortionist.

‘Right. I’ll also work whenever I have time to help with the household expenses.’

‘Then take this job. You said the compensation was good.’

‘…Don’t you think a month is too long to be away again when I’ve only just returned?’

He spoke quite seriously. Yes, yes, ‘I’ replied perfunctorily, turning the page of the photo book.

Then, suddenly, he reached out, seeing something. I flinched as his hand brushed my ear and brushed my hair up, tilting my head to the other side.

‘Were you lying in the garden? Where did you pick up grass? …There’s grass stain on your back. You need to change.’

‘Oh, really? I just showered at lunchtime and put these clothes on.’

‘I’ clicked my tongue. And pulled on my clothes to look at my back. Indeed, as he said, there was a bluish grass stain.

‘Anyway, I sweated, so I might as well shower again and change.’

‘Okay, then shall we go together?’

‘I’, who had been about to take off my grass-stained shirt, paused for a moment at his casually added remark.

‘…Where?’

‘To the bathroom. I just woke up and was about to wash myself.’

‘… …You wash first. No, wait, we both have separate bathrooms in our rooms anyway.’

‘We haven’t talked much because I’ve been busy for a while. Now that I’m free, let’s take our time washing and catch up.’

Having said that, he got up from his seat without waiting for ‘my’ answer. And then, he put his hands under ‘my’ armpits, where ‘I’ was still blankly sitting on the floor, and easily lifted ‘me’ to my feet.

And at that point, ‘I’—Jeong Taeui—suddenly realized.

This dream, which was vividly replaying past memories, was now about to turn into a nightmare.

He had to wake up from the dream quickly before something bad happened. It was fortunate that he was aware it was a dream; otherwise, the dream would have continued to haunt him even after waking.

Jeong Taeui struggled to open his eyes.

This is a dream. I have to wake up. I have to wake up quickly. Quickly.

Jeong Taeui, who had been anxiously shouting that and shaking himself in reality, fortunately managed to open his eyes just as he was being dragged out of the study.

“…”

Jeong Taeui blinked. He found himself lying alone in a dark room. Above him, a high ceiling.

He slowly relaxed his clenched fist. He sighed.

To think that past memories he had been forgetting would attack him like this.

Jeong Taeui massaged his stiff neck and got up. In the darkness, he fumbled for the water pitcher on the bedside table. The ice had melted, but the water was still cool. As it went down his throat, he finally felt truly awake from the dream.

Yes, I remember.

At that time, Ilay, who had refused the job saying a month away from home was too long, only went away for about a week after working from home for several months. Even then, he seemed to have told him not to go outside the neighborhood for no reason.

—If you leave, you die.

Suddenly, Ilay’s message conveyed by Kyle came to mind.

“Ugh…” Jeong Taeui groaned, placing the pitcher and water glass back on the bedside table.

“Why did he leave for two months then…?”

Jeong Taeui, subtly shifting the blame, lay back down on the bed to try and sleep again. Then he hit his forehead on the corner of the headboard and winced, trembling slightly.