Omega Complex Novel (Completed) - Chapter 49
Lingering Affection
It had already been six years since I started liking Choi Taegyeom. The time I’d known him was about four times longer than that, and the time I’d continue to know him would be about ten times longer.
Six years. During that long time, I denied being an Omega and couldn’t even give up my feelings for him.
‘I wished you weren’t an Omega.’
I knew what he meant, what his intentions were when he said that. Choi Taegyeom didn’t dislike me just because I was an Omega, as I had feared. However, he probably wouldn’t be able to stay comfortably by my side as before, now that I had presented as an Omega. If I had been a Beta, none of this would have happened.
‘I don’t want to manipulate you with my pheromones.’
I didn’t really care. Whether he drenched me in Alpha pheromones, put me into heat, or treated me as he pleased, it was fine if Choi Taegyeom wanted it. No, it was fine because I liked Choi Taegyeom. I was willingly prepared to be swayed by him.
But when we had sex, the moment I teared up, Choi Taegyeom reined in his reason. He withdrew the pheromones he had unleashed and didn’t release me until I stopped hurting. What I had simply thought was hesitation, was actually him being considerate. So, would the next time truly be different from this time?
‘I’m not confident I won’t do it again.’
No matter how much I thought about it, the answer was ‘no.’ He said he wasn’t confident, but I knew he would be more careful than anyone. The next time, and the time after that. Choi Taegyeom would maintain a cautious attitude throughout the act.
I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. I didn’t want him to be considerate of me or to chastise himself. I just wanted him to feel at ease, at least when he was by my side.
‘You’ve always been like that.’
‘……’
‘You do everything I ask, and you can’t refuse anything I request.’
‘……’
‘What is it with that sense of obligation…’
What on earth did I want to do with Choi Taegyeom?
I could say with certainty that it wasn’t a romantic relationship. While I liked Choi Taegyeom, I never once thought about dating him. The desire to touch him, hold him, and be with him was merely an instinctive impulse. Perhaps, a friend in name only was the most suitable relationship for me.
Looking back, it was all filled with regret. Not holding onto Choi Taegyeom, not telling him I liked him, hiding that I was an Omega, and falling for him.
If I could go back, I wanted to. Back to that time when I could stay by Choi Taegyeom’s side without these complicated thoughts. Back to that time when I could hang out with Choi Taegyeom without any ulterior motives.
That night, I dreamt of Choi Taegyeom. We were gathered in his room to study for exams, but we spent our time chatting instead of studying. I lay on Choi Taegyeom’s bed playing a popular mobile game at the time, and while Choi Taegyeom initially taught me kindly, he later chuckled and teased me.
‘You’re really bad at this.’
‘No, why isn’t this working?’
It wasn’t even a difficult game. I understood it conceptually, and the controls were simple. All I had to do was make the running character jump at the right time, but it was strangely not as easy as I thought.
‘You need to press it faster.’
‘I pressed it, but he’s not jumping.’
‘You avoid that…’
‘…Wasn’t I supposed to eat it?’
‘You idiot, that’s a bomb.’
When Choi Taegyeom played, the character ran smoothly, but when I played, it constantly tripped over obstacles or fell into pits. Choi Taegyeom watched me with a smile, occasionally laughing out loud as if he couldn’t hold it in.
‘Don’t laugh at me.’
‘I wasn’t laughing…’
Before he could finish his sentence, my character plunged into a pit. Instead of pressing ‘REPLAY,’ I tugged on Choi Taegyeom’s sleeve.
‘You do it again.’
Choi Taegyeom sat beside me without a word. As I half-rose and stared at the screen, his skilled hands started the game. Unlike me, who died as soon as the game started, Choi Taegyeom’s character jumped perfectly.
‘You’re good…’
Come to think of it, Choi Taegyeom was good at everything. Sports, studies. And all sorts of games. The world is truly unfair, isn’t it? Was it necessary to give one person so many talents?
‘Why can’t I do it?’
I mumbled that, leaning my head on Choi Taegyeom’s shoulder. The moment my head touched his shoulder, the character in the game jumped towards an obstacle. It was that very bomb he said to avoid, not eat.
‘…Oh.’
It was a beginner’s mistake. Even he seemed flustered, his fingers twitching as he stopped moving. ‘GAME OVER’ appeared in large letters on the screen.
‘Idiot, you said not to eat it.’
‘…I guess so.’
Choi Taegyeom readily handed me his phone. Even though it ended in a mistake, his score was on a different scale than mine. It was a shame, just a little more and it would have been a new record. Of course, the previous record was also set by him.
‘I should delete it. It’s boring.’
‘Just after playing that much?’
Pffft, a sound of air escaping was heard. He rubbed his cheek against my head and slid his upper body down. As I raised my arm so he could lie comfortably, his round head settled against my side.
‘I’m sleepy.’
‘Take a nap.’
He wrapped his arms around my waist like a child. As I gently stroked his hair, he made a contented expression, as if he was about to purr. I traced his upturned lips with my eyes and pulled the blanket over him with my other hand.
‘When should I wake you up?’
‘Hmm… in about 30 minutes.’
‘Not sleeping longer?’
‘I need to wake up and study.’
His voice was thick with sleep. The way he rubbed his face was like a small, furry animal. He breathed evenly, his long eyelashes drooping.
‘Sleep well.’
I liked Choi Taegyeom’s sleeping face. The moment his beautiful features softened more than ever. The relaxed look he only showed in front of me, a person who rarely let down his guard.
‘Beautiful’ didn’t even begin to describe it. The ticklish feeling in my chest and the curling of my toes evoked an even sweeter sensation. It was one of those damp emotions I only felt for Choi Taegyeom.
Perhaps even then, I liked Choi Taegyeom. I just hadn’t realized it; he was precious to me even then. I drew a line because I liked him, and I didn’t cross it because he was precious. That line, which I had maintained, still faintly existed between him and me.
Midterms passed in the blink of an eye. This was because I had immersed myself in studying for days, wanting to avoid distracting thoughts. Fortunately, my grades weren’t bad for cramming, and all exams concluded with the last major subject.
“Hyung! You know about today, right?”
Meanwhile, the rumors that had spread around school also died down. I heard Choi Taegyeom had silenced them, but I couldn’t know the details because I deliberately closed my ears. What was certain was that I no longer needed to hide the fact that I was an Omega.
“You pulled an all-nighter and you’re still so energetic.”
I took the last exam with Park Sungjae. Since the day before, Park Sungjae had insisted on studying all night in the club room, claiming he was on the verge of retaking the course, and I agreed to his request, planning to sleep on a cot if necessary. In the end, only Park Sungjae stayed up all night, but I, who had only slept a few hours, was also very tired.
“Of course, I’ve been attending school for this very day.”
“Did you do well on the exam?”
“You shouldn’t dwell on what’s past.”
Park Sungjae shook his head with a resolute expression. ‘I can make it up in the finals.’ His voice, as he added that, was full of firm resolve. Should I point out that he says the same thing every year and always ends up taking summer classes? No, it’s probably better to leave him be for today.
“Kim Minjeong finishes at five, and the department gathering is at six.”
“Still a long way off.”
Since the exam was in the morning, it wasn’t even twelve yet. Naturally, it was far too early to drink.
“Yeah, Hyung, you’re coming too, right?”
He had been pestering me since last night. He had promised to buy me drinks, so instead of buying them, he wanted me to come to the department gathering. It was clear that Park Sungjae had taken the lead because I had ignored so many messages from our classmates.
“I’ll pass.”
“Why!”
It was like seeing a puppy whose snack had been snatched away. No, too big for a puppy. Perhaps a bear that had just missed its prey. Park Sungjae looked wronged, but today, I really couldn’t help it.
“I’m going to see my parents.”
For the first time since I started living alone, I decided to visit my family home. I had kept postponing it, thinking it was close, and ended up not showing my face for almost half a year. Since the exams were over and it was still early, I planned to go home and stay overnight.
“Then there’s nothing we can do…”
Park Sungjae mumbled, his eyebrows drooping. No matter how much he liked drinking, he couldn’t stop me from seeing my parents. Showing regret, he slumped his shoulders and spoke with those same bright, clear eyes.
“Then let’s drink with the club members tomorrow. How about it?”
The club members would include Park Sungjae, Minjeong, and Kim Dohyeon. Choi Taegyeom’s face flashed through my mind for a moment, but it was very brief.
“Sure.”
“Yay!”
Park Sungjae clenched his fists and cheered. I wouldn’t be much fun at a drinking party anyway. I couldn’t understand why he kept trying to recruit me. Well, I didn’t dislike that side of him.
“Don’t drink too much, since we’ll be drinking tomorrow too.”
“Yeah, don’t worry.”
He would say this and then drink until his nose was crooked. It would be a miracle if he wasn’t dying from a hangover tomorrow. And yet, he was still thinking about drinking in the evening. He was indeed a brave one.
“Then I’ll go now, tell Minjeong I’ll see her tomorrow too.”
I said goodbye to Park Sungjae and replayed the way home in my mind. It would take 30 minutes by bus. Before that, I planned to stop by my apartment to wash up and change clothes. I had pajamas there, so I wouldn’t need to pack anything extra.
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