Omega Complex Novel (Completed) - Chapter 11

Less than 20 minutes remained until class. If I walked diligently from now on to Building A, which was inside the school, I would arrive before the professor did. It was because I had spent too much time in the restroom.

“Anyway, I can’t feel it, so why bother? If I don’t react, he’ll stop.”

The offer to erase the pheromones had moved my heart. Because the idea of him putting his pheromones on me felt like the ‘territory marking’ he talked about. But if it was as a friend, then it was a different story. My body reacted to Choi Taegyeom’s pheromones, but for Choi Taegyeom, it was just a dutiful act, and that made me feel pathetic.

“You said I often had pheromones on me before. But nothing’s happened until now, has it?”

“That’s……”

“So don’t worry.”

I didn’t have the confidence to talk anymore. And I didn’t want to say it to his face. If he said okay to my words about not worrying, my heart would probably crumble anyway.

“I don’t know why he’s doing that, but he’ll probably just do it for a bit and then stop.”

So I spoke while looking at Choi Taegyeom’s nose, philtrum, and the area around them. I was desperate, because if our eyes met, even I wasn’t sure what I would say.

“Hey, I’m late for class.”

“……”

“I’m going first. Thanks for the meal.”

But the moment I turned my back, my wrist was grabbed with a thud. When I reflexively turned around, Choi Taegyeom was looking at me with a bewildered expression. His gaze, meeting mine in mid-air, meticulously scrutinized my face.

“You really don’t know why he’s doing that?”

The reason Kim Dohyun was doing that was obvious. To confirm whether or not I was an omega. Even if there was another reason, it wouldn’t be to mark me like Choi Taegyeom said.

“I don’t know. I’m not an omega.”

Pheromones were felt along my grabbed wrist. The overflowing pheromones seemed to have nothing to do with Choi Taegyeom’s will. They just seemed to flow out naturally due to an excess of emotion.

“Surely he doesn’t like me, does he?”

I added it as a joke, but Choi Taegyeom’s expression was serious. For a very brief moment, he frowned, let go of my wrist, and let out a hollow laugh.

“Why do you think not?”

“……Hey, we’ve only known each other for less than 24 hours. What could he possibly like about me?”

Something similar had happened once before. In my third year of middle school, Choi Taegyeom claimed that an omega from the next class liked me. That student had never exchanged a single word with me, and of course, I argued that it was a misunderstanding. And sure enough, that student never spoke a word to me until graduation.

“If he really liked me, as you say, he’d confess, not just smear pheromones on me. I can’t even feel them.”

He was so sensitive to the feelings of others, so why didn’t he know that I liked him? If he was going to warn me about hopeless feelings, he should have at least reconsidered the feelings I had for him. If he couldn’t recognize my feelings, then it was true that he was insensitive to the feelings of others.

“The courage to confess……”

Choi Taegyeom started to speak but couldn’t finish. The emotions flickering in his eyes were too difficult for me to interpret. For a very brief moment, Choi Taegyeom, who had closed his mouth, spoke in a slightly calmer voice.

“Maybe he doesn’t have it.”

“Who are you talking about now?”

There was no reason for him to speak on behalf of Kim Dohyun’s feelings. Both the idea that he liked me and that he lacked the courage to confess were merely Choi Taegyeom’s conjectures, weren’t they? There was no reason for me to be stung by his meaningless words.

“Then tell him to just keep smearing pheromones forever.”

Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but get angry. My insides were boiling, and it felt like the suppressed pheromones would overflow. Who was it that couldn’t even reveal they were an omega because they truly lacked the courage to confess? To throw a detonator at me like that. I couldn’t stop the words that followed.

“Why? Then were the omegas who used to smear pheromones on you also doing it because they lacked the courage to confess?”

Choi Taegyeom’s expression stiffened. The wildly flowing pheromones also froze coldly. In that silence, I served another expectation.

“Just do one thing. Just one. If you’re going to defend his position, don’t tell me not to hang out with him.”

I knew what meaning Choi Taegyeom placed on the word ‘friend’. Since childhood, we had been unique to each other, and Choi Taegyeom always prioritized me in everything. I knew that just as I cherished him, and just as I protected him, he also felt an obligation to protect me in return.

There were certainly times when I had placed an unbearable expectation on that fact, but those were always things done within the bounds of friendship. Just as Choi Taegyeom’s concern for Kim Dohyun was by no means jealousy, the possessiveness he showed was also far from romantic feelings. It was simply a concern for a friend, or a way of repaying me.

“……As you said, we’re friends, so caring about things like that is a bit much, isn’t it?”

I’m pathetic for expecting it even though I know this. I resent Choi Taegyeom for leaving room for hope, unaware of this fact. I want to confess out of anger, but I’m also angry at myself for not having the courage to do so.

“I’m really late, so I’m going.”

Choi Taegyeom didn’t stop me. He didn’t answer, nor did he follow my steps. He just stood there, silently watching me walk away. I couldn’t tell what expression he wore, or what he was thinking. However, the pheromones carried on the wind felt incredibly uneasy.

The lecture ended in an instant. In reality, it was a little over three hours, but to me, it felt like the blink of an eye. During that long time, I couldn’t concentrate on the lecture, and my mind was entirely filled with Choi Taegyeom.

Memories of fighting with Choi Taegyeom were rare, countable on one hand. Choi Taegyeom never got angry at me, and whenever a small argument arose, he always apologized first. Even when I forgot our promise, when I accidentally broke his belongings, or when he covered up my mistakes, Choi Taegyeom forgave me without a hint of injustice.

Naturally, I had never properly apologized to Choi Taegyeom. The only apology I had offered was a few days ago in front of the bar, but even then, Choi Taegyeom had given in before I could say a few words, hadn’t he? A casual ‘sorry,’ or a reflexive apology. That was all I knew how to do.

I shouldn’t have said that… The small regret that arose lingered as an unfulfilled desire. Choi Taegyeom was just worried about me, and that was his way of being considerate. There was no reason for me to get angry, or to bring up past events. If I were Choi Taegyeom, my reaction would have hurt him.

Should I contact him?

I repeatedly took out and put away my phone countless times. I brought up Choi Taegyeom’s number, opened a message, wrote words I couldn’t send, and erased them with a sigh. Of course, in the end, I couldn’t make any contact.

It was unavoidable. What would I even say if I contacted him? Sorry for getting angry, I like you, and I was angry because you didn’t know my feelings. That I didn’t like that your actions were merely those of a friend. If I said that, he would probably ask back:

‘……You like me?’

A gentle rejection was drawn too clearly. I would laugh awkwardly, dismiss it as a joke, and Choi Taegyeom would pretend not to know, even though he knew everything. And then, with that subtle awkwardness remaining, our twisted relationship could never return to what it was.

Worse than friends. Or rather, better off as strangers. If the destined ending was like that, wouldn’t it be better to remain silent?

In the end, I put my phone away. When I came to my senses, I was the only one left in the classroom. There was no trace of notes on the opened notebook. I turned around just in case, but this time, the back seats were also empty.

Completely alone.

The cold war with Choi Taegyeom lasted for about a week. Actually, it was ambiguous to call it a cold war. Since that incident, I hadn’t seen him or exchanged messages with him. I thought it might be good to apologize around this time, but I just couldn’t muster the courage. I even had the foolish thought that it might be better to just drift apart like this.

“Hyung, just once. Please, okay? Just once!”

Park Sungjae, whom I ran into in the department office, bothered me throughout the entire break time. His request was nothing special. The club was short on members, so he wanted me to fill the numbers, even as a ghost member. It had been a persistent request since the beginning of the semester, and my answer was already decided.

“I said no.”

If it were a somewhat interesting place, I might consider it, but Park Sungjae’s club was ‘English Classics Reading’. Just hearing the name made me yawn, so there was no way I’d want to join. Besides, I didn’t want to grant any requests right now.

“Go ask somewhere else.”

“You really don’t have to do anything.”

I refused, pulling my hat down low, but Park Sungjae didn’t give up. He tried to persuade me with a desperate voice, even offering me a drink as if to butter me up.

“I won’t make you read books, just fill in the numbers sometimes. If you need a review, I’ll write it all for you. Really, I swear, I won’t bother you.”

He said he became the club president this year. His voice was desperate. As desperate as he was, he was clingy, and as clingy as he was, he was annoying. I tried to shake off his arm again as a sign of refusal, but the persistent guy didn’t let go and clung to my arm even tighter.

“Just save me once, okay?”

“No, you idiot. Why are you bothering a third-year student when there are freshmen?”

“Because if you join, it’ll be easier to lure the kids in!”

Park Sungjae’s unconvincing persuasion continued. He said that if I joined, freshmen would flock in, and that it would be a great spec for my job search. Just listening to him, he sounded more like a con artist than the cults that set up camp in front of the school.

“It’s annoying. Absolutely not.”

“Ah, Hyung!”

Park Sungjae cried out pitifully and collapsed onto the table. He made sobbing sounds, his shoulders shaking, but it still didn’t evoke any emotion from me. Eventually, Park Sungjae, exhausted, peeked at me.

“……Hyung is subtly cold-hearted.”

“Subtly?”

We’d been in the same grade for three years, but he still didn’t seem to know me. If I were going to join the club, I would have joined long ago.

Whoosh, Park Sungjae let out a deep sigh and muttered in a small voice.

“There’s a freshman who said they’d join if you joined, Hyung.”

“Who on earth?”