March Novel - Seasons of Fate (Oh Seonran Side Story) Part 3
Number 37’s surprised eyes were as wide as lanterns. Some fear was also etched within them. Oh Seonran poured cold water on the wick of his heart, which kept trying to seethe and rise. What are you doing? How is what you’re doing now any different from those bastards who tormented him?
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to be with you…”
He was about to offer an apology, looking askance, when something suddenly touched Oh Seonran’s cheek. It was a light kiss, so weightless that he couldn’t feel the weight of bone or flesh. Surprisingly, a warmth, exactly like his own feelings, spread across his dry, chapped lips. Number 37 was still trembling with fear and seemed very surprised, but it seemed he was also clearly trying to convey another emotion that had bloomed within him.
“…What does this mean?”
He gently pressed his forehead against his. In such close proximity that their gazes couldn’t even meet, he whispered in a voice that seemed about to extinguish. It was a voice so deeply subdued that it surprised even himself.
“Can I interpret this however I want?”
“……”
“Can I… be with you and your child?”
A warm breath brushed against him. As always, that alone was enough to understand Number 37’s meaning.
“…Okay. Just wait a little. I’ll prepare everything for us to run away.”
Oh Seonran hugged his thin back, where his spine protruded, with all his might.
In his excitement, words just tumbled out. “Shall we go abroad entirely? Where do you want to live? I don’t like beaches. I don’t like places near airports either. I wish there was a big park near our house… Ah, is this too childish? Oh, have you thought about the child’s name? Will the child like me too? Don’t make that face, that child is my child now too. Hmm… By the way, what did it mean that the baby didn’t respond to injections? Does it mean they didn’t develop antibodies? It probably wasn’t like a vaccination. Hmm, I need to look into this more specifically. Since you and our child seem to have unique constitutions, I’ll have to work hard to earn money. It would be a big problem if you got sick. Of course, if we run away, I won’t be a colonel anymore, so things might be a bit tight for now… But I’ll try everything. I’ll definitely make you happy.”
“And I…”
I, you.
Just before uttering the most important words, their gazes met for what felt like an eternity. Before Oh Seonran could finish his sentence, Number 37 threw himself forward with all his might.
It was the first night they embraced.
“Sorry I’m late.”
Number 37 meekly shook his head. And then, unconsciously, he stamped his frozen feet on the floor. He had clearly been lingering by the door despite being told not to.
“Come here. I’ll massage your feet. Honestly… I told you to stay under the covers, but you never listen.”
“……”
“Oh, I might not be able to come for a while. I have something to do outside starting tonight. It’s not dangerous, just a military event around this time of year that I need to show my face at.”
“……”
“But I’ll be back in a few days. Before the year changes. Around… the 28th?”
Oh Seonran sat Number 37 on the bed, which was quite warm, wrapped in layers of heating devices, and pulled out a stack of cards from his embrace.
“Guess what this is?”
“……”
“It felt a bit strange not being able to meet on Christmas. Anyway, we…”
Oh Seonran swallowed the words lingering on his tongue. Even after saying childish things like “let’s run away,” there were still things he wasn’t used to saying. Like calling him “lover.” Or complimenting him, “You’re so pretty.” Or confessing, “I love you.”
“We, hmm, since we’re that kind of relationship. Instead of not seeing each other, let’s write cards to each other. I’ll make sure the mail arrives before Christmas, no matter what.”
“……”
“Why do you keep smiling? I’m serious.”
“……”
“What? What swear words are you trying to hide and write?”
Clutching the card and pen, Number 37 awkwardly turned his back, showing his rear. Like a hedgehog, no less. Oh Seonran chuckled in disbelief, then scooted his bottom closer to his lover. And so, leaning back to back, feeling each other’s warmth, they wrote letters.
“Wow, this is so unfair to me? My legs are long, so I have to contort my body a lot to be in the same position as you. What is this handwriting…”
Number 37 took a small, sharp breath. He seemed to be suppressing laughter. Oh Seonran’s lips curved into a gentle arc, pleased by that clear, distinct tremor.
It’s already Christmas.
Are you doing well?
I asked my adjutant to take care of you, but
If anyone bothers you, please tell me.
Even if you hide it, I’ll find out anyway, and it’ll only hurt more to hear it from someone else. Got it?
And… I actually know your name.
I accidentally found out while looking for the child, but I’ve been waiting to hear it directly from you, so I haven’t let on.
So, when I come back… can you tell me then?
I can’t keep calling the person I’m going to marry “Number 37.”
He wrote it down without hesitation. It was what he had wanted to say all along. Still, he rubbed his nose awkwardly, feeling his face burning, then took a deep, trembling breath and wrote the last words. It was the story he wanted to tell most.
I love you. A lot.
Ugh, Oh Seonran dramatically fanned himself and shoved the card into the envelope. He hadn’t trembled this much even when secretly entering literary contests without his parents’ knowledge.
Of course, he had no intention of just letting the words “I love you” or anything related to marriage pass by with this. Oh Seonran was quite old-fashioned in such matters. He had already chosen a white, pure flower resembling Number 37 and ordered a ring. When he returned, he planned to wear a well-tailored suit instead of his military uniform, kneel on one knee, and formally propose. To marry him when the new year arrived.
“Still writing?”
Unlike Oh Seonran, who finished quickly, Number 37 held onto the card for quite a long time.
“Looks like you had some complaints about me.”
“……”
“Huh? No? Then what? Why are you writing so long?”
“……”
“Alright, I won’t look. Write comfortably.”
It was a long time later that Number 37 finally put a period. He shook his aching wrist, which had been strained for a long time, then frowned slightly when he saw the sticker to put on the envelope. He didn’t seem to like it.
“It’s fine with just that. Ah, are you worried I’ll secretly look? I really won’t look!”
Still, Number 37 shook his head. He mouthed “no” several times. In the end, only after Oh Seonran lazily got up and brought all the means to seal the envelope did he hand over the card he had written.
Oh Seonran held the two cards, which were much thicker than ordinary envelopes due to being wrapped in various things, up to the bluish light of the solitary cell.
“I think it’s been a long time since I received paper mail too. Of course, I often receive documents… but a personal letter like this.”
“……”
“I’ll have my adjutant contact you before I arrive, so don’t wait at the door. It’s cold.”
“……”
“Eat well.”
“……”
“…What am I going to do, I already miss you?”
Oh Seonran gently collapsed onto the crown of Number 37’s head. He stayed like that for a long time, enjoying the soft feel of his hair against his cheek.
Number 37 didn’t return any words. But Oh Seonran knew how much he was trying his best right now. His shoulders and belly gently heaving as he tried to make a sound. The faint air that tapped his empty throat several times.
Saying things like “let’s run away,” “let’s live together”… he had said such bold words. But Number 37, this person, was much stronger than him. He had gone through something so terrible that it felt apologetic to even glimpse it. And yet, even with the world pushing him to die, he stubbornly got up, staggering, and tried to live again. He was gathering such courage to walk with him.
“I’m glad I fell in love with a good person.”
He glanced down at the rounded white cheek. Unable to resist, he pecked a kiss, and Number 37 subtly twisted his body. His clear laughter, which he had never heard before, echoed in his ears. No, actually, nothing else mattered. Just like Number 37’s scent, which only he could smell, whatever his real voice sounded like, it would only sound beautiful. It would be as overwhelming and lovely as the sound of Christmas bells ringing far and wide.
And a few days later, a secret message arrived for all project managers. It stated that all laboratories would be secretly closed in consideration of international public opinion. It was the day before Oh Seonran was due to return.
Oh Seonran’s hand fumbled several times at the door of the official residence. Rough, beast-like breaths escaped him. No, he was indeed a beast. Because normal thought was impossible. He simply couldn’t…
As soon as he received the message, he abandoned everything and rushed there. The office, the laboratory, the research facility, the detention center… the ugly, secret place that even the higher-ups hadn’t decided what to call. The place where he had met Number 37, whom he loved enough to throw everything away for.
The AI had clearly guided him to the address where the cold, gray building had stood tall… but all he saw was a vast, snow-covered empty lot. There was nothing. He heard it had been blown up, but not even ash was scattered. Not even the building’s steel framework remained. As if to tell him not to harbor any foolish hope of survivors.
His knees buckled. Oh Seonran groped and crawled, digging through the snow and dirt for a long time. Until his parents’ adjutants rushed in and dragged him away, he kept digging. They repeated like parrots that everything had been disposed of. Not just the test subjects, but all soldiers except the head and deputy head, meaning even Oh Seonran’s adjutants, everyone alive had been buried. There was nothing here now. No, there had been nothing from the beginning.
“You idiot…”
He should have spirited him away the moment he decided to live together. Even if he had taken him to some shabby place, it would have been better than that underground solitary cell. He could have found the child separately… Why did he have to wait for such perfect preparations…
“…Ah.”
Oh Seonran covered his parched face and stopped breathing.
The awkward upturned lips trying to smile. The emaciated body that didn’t even fill his arms when hugged. The dry, white hands like snow-covered branches, and the clumsy letters carefully written at their tips…
“…No.”
It couldn’t end like this. He had to find out again tomorrow. If necessary, he would knock on the door of the Head of State’s office, not just his parents’. No matter what, they wouldn’t have erased all records. If he looked at the situation right before the explosion, he might find something. So…
Oh Seonran’s feverish gaze, which had been aimlessly trembling, suddenly stopped somewhere. On top of meaningless documents piled in the entryway lay two grubby cards. Envelopes sealed with all sorts of things, in an unsuitably cheerful color… Since there were two cards, it seemed the one he had written hadn’t been delivered and had been returned.
“…You couldn’t even read it, could you?”
Oh Seonran gently stroked the surface of the card. The words “marry me,” “I love you”… all the confessions he had wanted to make, he had left without hearing a single one.
The tape Number 37 had so earnestly applied was all crooked. The stickers and seals he had affixed were incredibly clumsy. So much so that they could be torn off with just a little force.
Oh Seonran, who had stood rooted to the spot for a long time, as if making a decision, opened the envelope. Should he be grateful for his clumsy and awkward finishing? He would never have been able to touch this remaining trace of him, and then he would never have opened the card he wrote…
“I always wondered why you were so kind to me.”
A chuckle escaped him at the impudent first sentence, which began abruptly without a greeting. But it was only for a moment. As he read the tiny letters, and Number 37’s feelings pressed into them, Oh Seonran could no longer smile. No, he couldn’t make any expression at all.
The baby… doesn’t resemble me at all.
I only saw a hologram floating above the incubator for a moment, but it was incredibly beautiful.
People said that if my genes were maximized in a good way, it would be like that.
You said earlier that the baby and I seemed to have similar constitutions, right?
That there was talk among brokers about a baby with a unique constitution…
I don’t think the baby’s constitution is exactly the same as mine. If it were, the researchers wouldn’t have abandoned the baby…
Whatever the baby’s constitution, honestly, I don’t have positive thoughts.
And if the baby is alive… wouldn’t they dislike having a father like me?
I know because I’ve experienced it.
I often resented why they didn’t just kill me when I was a newborn and knew nothing.
So, when the Colonel said he would help me, I was so happy… but also scared.
I was also terrified of myself, thinking I might just ask him to kill the baby if he found them…
Of course, my mind has changed now.
If I can get them back… I want to love them even more, for all the time we were separated.
Even though I didn’t want them, carrying my own flesh and blood was the only reason I could endure here. Until I met the Colonel.
Colonel, we saw the phrase “season’s destiny” together before, didn’t we?
I cried a lot then, thinking about the baby. It felt like no destiny was allowed to me.
But then I met you, Colonel.
Honestly, I still can’t believe it.
Why would someone as cool and accomplished as you care for me like this? I don’t know.
I don’t know if I can ever repay this kindness…
Oh, I’m running out of paper, and the story keeps straying.
I wanted to say that my season’s destiny seems to be you, Colonel. (Is that the right way to use the phrase?)
It’s okay if you laugh and call it childish.
Because I believe that I was destined to meet you someday, and that we are fated,
It doesn’t hurt at all now.
Really.
And… lately, I’ve been trying to regain my voice.
Is it because I’m happy? My condition seems to be getting better and better.
When you return, I want to clearly say “I missed you,” but I don’t know if I can.
I don’t know when it will be, but don’t tease me if my voice sounds strange.
Have a safe trip.
I haven’t had the courage to say this until now, but I love you, Colonel.
- My name is Lee Jinwoo.
It’s a name I tried to forget, but I’d be happy if you called me by it.
“…That’s not what it means.”
Oh Seonran clutched the card and laughed hollowly. “Season’s destiny” wasn’t such a pretty phrase. And it wasn’t used that way either…
“He doesn’t even know how to properly seal a card…”
If he hadn’t gone to the post office himself and insisted they send it carefully, the contents would have been lost long ago due to the flimsy sealing. Thanks to it being marked as mail from Colonel Oh Seonran, it was returned to the official residence… Should he call this fortunate?
Oh Seonran grumbled, then idly looked down at the card, and then tightly closed his eyes. You, so utterly clumsy. You couldn’t even speak, so you couldn’t cry for help. I should have been by your side.
I should have told you I loved you properly…
Clutching the card, which was already starting to crumple at the edges, Oh Seonran stumbled to the study. Then he pulled out paper and a pen from somewhere. Back when he dreamed of being a poet, a journalist, a director, a bookstore owner. Things he had bought out of vanity and never fully used.
Unable to even sit at the desk, he lay on the floor and put the pen nib to the pristine white paper. After staring blankly, the ink smudged unattractively, so he threw the paper away. The first words he managed to write he didn’t like, so he tore them up. The handwriting was ugly, so he crumpled it. He cleared it away several times, wrote again, crossed out lines, and then…
“…Ah.”
The thick tears he had held back finally fell. The story that had seethed within him, which he had wanted to tell Number 37 but couldn’t, poured out. The beautiful and precious words he had cherished. Oaths. Confessions. All those words that pierced his heart.
Oh Seonran decided to just close his eyes tightly. Crouching in the darkness, he groped and drew stroke by stroke. Just as he had smelled the warm sunlight from him, just as he had felt his unheard laughter. Believing that the one he loved would also understand the words he was about to say.
I’m sorry I came late.
I’ll definitely find the child.
I’ll definitely find our child and tell them what a strong and beautiful person you were.
I’ll grant whatever that child wishes for.
Truly anything.
So you.
Christmas had passed, but the new year hadn’t yet arrived, so the decorations were still up, making it as bright as day outside. The small silver bell decorating the official residence rang faintly in the biting winter wind. That tiny bell sound, for some reason, felt like Number 37’s reply to him.
I love you.
I love you, Jinwoo.
I love you.
Oh Seonran wrote the letter, crying. For one year, two years, three years… and for ten years and even longer, whenever this season came, he would write letters he couldn’t send, uttering faded confessions.
And on such nights, very occasionally, a longed-for face would appear in his dreams, as if replying. Oh Seonran bravely called out Number 37’s name.
Jinwoo, Lee Jinwoo.
One day, he hugged him tightly and cried, saying he was sorry. Another day, he held out his palm, crying, begging him to say just one word, to write anything… And always, in the end, he cried while saying he loved him.
Number 37, no, Lee Jinwoo, would simply gaze at Oh Seonran, who cried like a lost child every time. Then, when his crying subsided, he would hug him tightly. When he frantically tried to hold onto his thin body, not wanting to lose that warmth, he would invariably wake from his dream.
For a long time, long enough for mountains and rivers to change, Oh Seonran was not a living person. I’ll find your child, I’ll do whatever that child wishes, I’ll cherish and love them for your sake… He was a living ghost, a spirit bound to the earth, with only a blind purpose remaining.
To keep his promise to Lee Jinwoo, he needed higher power and more wealth. So he became a loyal dog of the military and a faithful servant, like the Head of State’s shadow. Recently, he even condoned Lieutenant Kim’s dirty deeds, knowing he was using his name. No, he even protected him. If he could only find traces of those brokers from that time, there was nothing he wouldn’t do.
Ah. If only there had been even a tiny trace of Lee Jinwoo left. Then he would have surely found the child, even if it meant scouring the genes of everyone in the country. He had risen past colonel to general, even pinning four stars on his chest, yet Oh Seonran still held nothing in his hands. He knew the truth. Finding Lee Jinwoo’s child now was as difficult as him coming back alive. But if he didn’t cling to this, it felt like he would truly have to admit that Lee Jinwoo was dead. And so, he couldn’t stop his futile steps, his habitual wandering.
“…You’re here?”
A cold sensation touched his tired hand resting on the armrest. When did I fall asleep…? As he got older, he would sometimes lose consciousness. Anyway, he seemed to be dreaming. Seeing the longed-for illusion before his eyes.
“Life is so fleeting, isn’t it? I swore I wouldn’t forget anything related to you, but…”
Now, even the form of the affection he had held was fading from his memory. What were your hands like when you held me, and that warmth?
“But you’re still beautiful.”
Even if everything changed, even after all these years, you. Your smile, as you tried to smile at me, was still like that time…
“When we meet again later, will you dislike this old man and ask who I am?”
“……”
“No, I don’t even know if we can meet. I don’t think I can go to heaven with what I’ve done.”
“……”
“This time too, some factions seem to be planning to launch a suspicious project, but in my opinion, it’s just a useless endeavor that will only enrich pharmaceutical companies. Still… I might be able to find old clues. I’m going to wait one last time.”
Yes, one last time.
“So… you don’t have to come anymore.”
Lee Jinwoo’s lips, which had been looking at him with pity, softened incredibly. Oh Seonran, if no one else could tell. That he was truly smiling.
“What’s so good that you keep coming to see me? Unless you’re trying to break ties by seeing me old and decrepit… don’t come anymore.”
So many days have passed, and yet, I’m still alive and well. Even if it was more living than truly living. So…
“Just forget everything… and live happily, in heaven.”
The inner page of the worn-out card, almost illegible now, fell out. The paper, worn out by time, crumbled at the edges with just that much impact.
Outside, the wind blows, the small silver bell rings, and when your untouchable hand gently touches his cheek and disappears, he knows it’s time to wake from the dream.
“I’m okay.”
Oh Seonran’s time stopped on that empty lot on the day the white snow erased all traces. He was still kneeling there, unable to get up.
It was the ambiguous end of the year, after Christmas but before the New Year. The day he knelt on one knee to propose to him, asking him to marry him, and he was about to let him hear his voice, saying “I missed you”… He remained in that most beautiful and poignant time.
“I’m okay…”
Hot tears streamed down the wrinkles around his eyes.
It was the night of December 28th, when he had promised Number 37, Lee Jinwoo, his beloved, that he would return.
<March Side Story ‘Season’s Destiny’ End>
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
Hi there!
Welcome to Novellist!
We're a small team of story lovers who translate and share the latest novels with you — completely free. We do our best to update new chapters as quickly as possible, so you never miss a moment. Our passion is bringing good stories closer to everyone.
If you believe any content here has copyright issues, please kindly reach out to us by email instead of reporting. We’ll handle it with care and respect.
Thank you for being here and sharing the love of stories with us!
For custom work request, please send email to gts.info2020 (at) gmail (dot) com.