March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 75

“Wh-what kind of nonsense…”

“Why, was it not good?”

Gi Taejeong’s voice, urging an answer, was laced with certainty that it wasn’t. He was clearly doing this on purpose. Sehwa, who had been flustered and only mouthing words, eventually gave up on answering and turned his gaze away diagonally.

“Cherries, blueberries… apples, was it?”

That was only for a moment. With a voice full of laughter, he brought up something Sehwa couldn’t possibly ignore, making him snap his head up as if struck by lightning.

“……”

“You were being so sneaky, I wondered what amazing thing you wanted to eat.”

“How… did you know?”

“I told you I had people watching you. As for the apple… I just took a picture of it because you asked if there were any in the fridge yesterday.”

Gi Taejeong tapped his wristwatch, checking his pending notifications. A small hologram screen popped up above it, inadvertently allowing Sehwa to glimpse the conversation he had with Master Sergeant Choi.

The most recent exchange was a code name Sehwa didn’t recognize. Just above it, a message sent by Gi Taejeong read… an order to bring all the items Sehwa had shown interest in today. Master Sergeant Choi’s reply, mentioning “Madam” or something, remained as a trace of his blunt command to collect everything by origin and variety.

“Lee Sehwa.”

“……”

“Next time, just tell me to buy it for you.”

As Sehwa pretended to clear his throat, caught peeking, Gi Taejeong turned off the hologram and chided him with an exasperated look.

“It’s not like you’re asking for someone’s liver, what’s so hard about saying you want some fruit?”

As the floor changed, the long screens installed on both walls were filled with the ocean. An advertisement, floating on white foam, read: “Prepare for the upcoming vacation season with our brand.”

Following the movement of the waves on the screen, a sea-like scent wafted over. Sehwa took a deep breath. Looking at the endlessly shimmering blue waves, he felt somehow refreshed. Gi Taejeong’s navy uniform, too, seemed to be a continuous part of the scenery, naturally blending into the receding blue waves.

“Whatever it is, say it right away. Whether you want to eat something, or you’re horny.”

“……”

“Otherwise, I’ll misunderstand on my own.”

Gi Taejeong clicked his tongue, as if saying, “Don’t make me frustrated over nothing.”

Sehwa stammered again, hunching his neck. His face, reflected in the long gap below the escalator handrail, was unfamiliar. As Gi Taejeong said, it had plumped up and was shiny and smooth. Even though he had been shocked for the past few days, cried constantly, then collapsed and only slept, his complexion was indeed much better than when he worked at the house. And…

Gi Taejeong’s impression had also changed a lot since Sehwa first saw him. His unrealistically handsome appearance remained the same. However, his aura had changed. It seemed as if his edges had been slightly rounded off. Though only very slightly…

His wandering gaze drifted to his feet. Gi Taejeong’s military boots and his own grubby sneakers stood side by side in the same compartment. It was a terribly mismatched sight.

But whether it matched or not, the person standing next to Gi Taejeong was Lee Sehwa. It was no one else but him who was staying by his side.

Listening to the refreshing sound of crashing waves, Sehwa felt something awaken within him.

Until now, he had thought of all emotions in terms of black and white. While he had somehow accepted the contradiction of liking Gi Taejeong, he had always regarded unrequited feelings as inherently sorrowful. He constantly replayed past misfortunes, wallowing in melancholy and counting only his own shortcomings. He believed that not expecting anything from the other person stemmed from such a mindset. He considered delicate and beautiful emotions to be something to be painted over in black and hidden away.

But what if I had no expectations from him, that resignation… didn’t necessarily have to be a gloomy color? Looking at the two pairs of feet standing in the same compartment, such a thought suddenly washed over him like a wave.

Even if the end approached, this time wasn’t a lie. This feeling wasn’t an illusion. If so, wouldn’t it be okay not to tremble and deny the happiness he gave? Wouldn’t it be presumptuous to wait for the end a little more joyfully… to approach this relationship with such a mindset?

Sehwa nodded slightly. Not for anyone else to see, but to comfort himself.

Yes, this was clearly an awakening. It was different from breaking and shattering. An unnamed emotion, crumpled up, peeked out. The shabby shell cracked, and a warm, poignant sensation, which Sehwa hadn’t even known was there, awkwardly fluttered its wings.

“…Brigadier General.”

He firmly gathered the frayed threads of his heart and cautiously took one more step forward. Instead of scolding himself for presumptuous desires, he decided to pour out his heart to the best of his ability.

Because he liked that man…

Despite countless things that had happened,

Nevertheless,

He definitely liked Gi Taejeong.

“It wasn’t the uniform that was cool.”

He put the military cap back on the man who turned to him. Since he was shorter than him even on tiptoes, he could only perch it precariously on the front of his head. It was almost like placing it on his forehead. It wasn’t intentional, but it ended up looking like he was retaliating for Gi Taejeong having blocked his vision earlier.

“You clearly said you had important business… that high-ranking officials called you and you had no choice but to go…”

“……”

“But I was worried about you, and you came to see me… that was cool, so… I was looking at you.”

There were parts where his voice trembled terribly, as if he was hiccuping, but he still laid out everything he wanted to say. It was the first time. He was transparently revealing his true feelings to Gi Taejeong, without letting his words trail off.

He was even afraid to say he liked him, so he had indirectly asked if he could call him by his name now. But now, he was able to express his feelings for the man so calmly. His heart, which had grown an inch unexpectedly, had made him this strong.

“…Thank you. For coming to see me even though you’re busy.”

Sehwa smiled faintly.

In the man’s eyes, as he removed the hat covering his vision, a deep blue ocean shimmered.

“Hmph, Brigadier… General…”

Sehwa helplessly collapsed at the hand caressing his back.

How did it come to this?

During the move to the quarters, well. Nothing special happened. Both Gi Taejeong and Sehwa avoided sensitive topics on their own. For instance, Commander Oh Seonran, or the baby in his belly, or the House and Lieutenant Kim’s issues.

They just exchanged trivial stories. Impressions of the dazzling five-star skyline visible through the window, the different temperatures and weather in each district… such stories.

Perhaps Gi Taejeong appreciated Sehwa’s efforts to avoid awkward silence, as he responded plainly. He said he would buy him new clothes as the season was about to change. He also said that once the baby matter was “resolved,” they would go to a famous resort island. He promised to show him the ocean that had just been displayed on the screen, in real life.

Resolved…

Sehwa decided to pretend not to notice that Gi Taejeong had chosen the softer term “resolved” instead of saying “getting rid of” or “killing” the baby. To think and scrutinize that far, all his courage for the day was already exhausted.

He just… felt that every time Gi Taejeong naturally mentioned the future, the butterflies that had been fluttering in his chest since earlier fluttered even more intensely. He even had the ridiculous thought that his heart might die, preserved in sugar.

They had arrived at the quarters and were unlocking the front door. Sehwa was idly watching Gi Taejeong’s movements as he scanned his iris and placed his hand on the panel. The man’s fingernails, pressing down, were tinged with red, and a cheerful unlocking sound rang out.

The moment he stepped into the open door without thinking, his gaze met Gi Taejeong’s. It was a fleeting moment, but he thought Gi Taejeong’s eyes were deeper and darker than usual, and then… his memory was fragmented.

He remembered reaching out without either of them initiating it as they entered. They pressed their lips together eagerly, like people who would die if they didn’t kiss immediately. He didn’t know why, but it felt like they had to. He needed this person’s breath.

He came to his senses when Gi Taejeong lifted him up. With one hand, Gi Taejeong supported his body and skillfully stripped off his clothes. Sehwa awkwardly wrapped his legs around the man’s waist, clinging desperately as if nothing else existed in the world. Each time his heels brushed against Gi Taejeong’s bulging back muscles, Gi Taejeong cursed fiercely.

“Ah, Brig…adier General…”

The hand supporting him suddenly invaded his underwear. Gi Taejeong kneaded his buttocks as he pleased, like kneading dough, and kissed him briefly from his earlobe down his jaw. Then he bit his cheeks and nose gently, pressed his lips together, lifted his body, and gnawed at his neck and shoulders, and then…

“Ha…”

At Gi Taejeong’s low sigh of admiration, Sehwa unconsciously squeezed his inner thighs tight. Even though he knew it couldn’t stop it, he was already ashamed of his front, which was damp with fluid.

Gi Taejeong’s arm, which had been caressing his now slippery, sweaty naked body, seemed to tighten a little more, and then the world slowly tilted. He didn’t know when they had moved to the room, but the sensation against his back was definitely a bedsheet.

“Hmph, ahh…”

“Did you already come?”

He was going crazy. Sehwa squeezed his eyes shut. Each time the soft fabric brushed his skin, the man’s scent vibrated.

The room was chilly. There was nothing in it that one would usually find in a bedroom, like mirrors or nightstands, just a massive bed custom-made to his height. The thought that this was a space where Gi Taejeong only buried his body made it even harder to bear. The cool scent of perfume, the faint bitter smell of cigarettes… an indescribable, firm, adult male scent unique to him.

“I-I don’t think we should…”

“I won’t go all the way.”

“But…”

“You’re already dying of pleasure just from my fingers, you know.”

The veins on Gi Taejeong’s hand, tearing apart his soaking wet underwear, stood out in a fierce blue.