March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 63

Gi Taejeong tilted his head askew, arms crossed. “What is this bastard babbling about, is he out of his mind?” That was exactly the expression on his face.

“Are you proposing to me, right now?”

“Well… isn’t there not much difference in context? It’s not like I’m giving it to a friend…”

“The ring could be interpreted differently, so that’s a bit tricky, but preparing various things seems like a good idea. Lee Sehwa, no, Mr. Lee Sehwa, was very happy even when the Brigadier General gave him desserts, so I think he’ll be touched this time too.”

Following Master Sergeant Choi, Lieutenant Park also subtly voiced his agreement. Lieutenant Na swallowed a gasp, dumbfounded. A bouquet? A gift? It was like teasing someone who was bedridden from shock… Lieutenant Na was also awkward with human relationships, but he knew that warm comfort was best in times like these. Right now, whether Lee Sehwa was sad or angry, silently listening to what he had to say seemed like the best option.

“I’ll be at the quarters, so you two go with Master Sergeant Choi. I think Master Sergeant Choi has better taste in choosing things than I do.”

Lieutenant Na was frustrated with his colleagues who didn’t know how to convey their feelings. On the one hand, he also felt sorry for them. Because they didn’t know any better. He wanted to advise them not to do that, to say “I’m sorry” instead of showering them with gifts… but the words wouldn’t easily come out.

The superior’s warning not to cross the line was not an empty threat. Gi Taejeong was extremely displeased when others arbitrarily judged his personal circumstances. “I don’t even pity myself, so who are you to do so?” With such an arrogant face, he had beaten those who tarnished his purity to within an inch of their lives. As far as Lieutenant Na knew, no one who had touched this subject in front of him had survived unscathed. Given that Gi Taejeong was such a man, he would be more keenly aware than anyone of the pity laced in any advice offered, especially right after Lieutenant Na had made a big mistake. He would truly try to kill him without mercy.

Lieutenant Na stood with his hands behind his back, staring at the floor. Gi Taejeong’s words were right. What he had just done was merely self-satisfaction for upholding a shallow conviction. Under the pretext of worrying about a patient, he had ultimately chosen his own comfort and safety over the person he was supposed to care for. He was so ashamed of his cowardice that he couldn’t lift his head.

“Ugh…”

Sehwa painfully lifted his heavy eyelids. He had clearly buried his face in the sofa, but when he came to, he was on the bed. It seemed to be the guest room where he had fallen asleep yesterday.

A lot of time must have passed, as it was dark outside. Sehwa stared blankly at the dimly lit room, then stumbled towards the bathroom. When he turned on the light, his reflection in the mirror was… truly a sight to behold. His eyes and cheeks were bright red, as if he’d been hit somewhere. He stared blankly at his feverish face, then waved his hand around the sensor. He splashed cold water on himself several times, but Sehwa knew the truth. This wouldn’t soothe his burning insides.

Pregnant, 5 weeks, or was it 6 weeks? Anyway, pregnant… Sehwa gazed down at his belly. Was there really something inside here? He fumbled around his waist, then let his hands drop.

Gi Taejeong claimed he didn’t know. He said he had no idea Sehwa’s body had changed or that he was carrying a child, and that his crude jokes on the subject were just a dirty habit. Of course, Sehwa couldn’t believe it, but… his words, that he would have been more careful if he had known, and his confession that he didn’t want the child to live a life like his own, didn’t seem like lies either. So what should he do now…?

“…Huh?”

Sehwa sighed and roughly wiped his wet face with his shirt, then his swollen eyes widened. He hadn’t thought to look on the other side earlier, but behind where he had been lying, an enormous amount of boxes were tightly packed into the room.

“What is all this…?”

Did they just dump them here because there was no storage space? But the way they were stacked in layers, and the angles of the shopping bags placed here and there, looked perfectly arranged, as if meticulously staged. On closer inspection, there was even a giant flower basket on the table.

…Those can’t all be mine, can they? He muttered to himself with an uneasy feeling, but in fact, everything pointed to one clear recipient. There was no reason to bring so many things into a guest room where someone was staying.

Sehwa aimlessly hovered in front of the table, then suddenly stopped short when he belatedly discovered a white envelope tucked among the bright red roses.

“A letter…?”

He quickly caught his hand, which was about to reach out as if possessed. He shouldn’t open it. It might not be his. It could be a letter for Gi Taejeong, and opening it carelessly would be a big problem. It might even be an important message from the military…

Sehwa lingered around it for a long time. After fussing about and accidentally knocking over a stack of green boxes piled up to his waist, he finally decided to open it. He knew it was impolite, but he thought seeing it would clarify who the items were for. Wouldn’t it be a greater discourtesy to mistake someone else’s belongings for his own? So… Sehwa mumbled excuses to himself and tore open the plastic packaging.

If Gi Taejeong had received it from someone else, he wouldn’t mind. But if it was a letter written by him… then what? Sehwa, contemplating with a serious face, unknowingly let out a small laugh. It wasn’t out of joy, but because he was so nervous that it felt absurd. Regardless of how ridiculous this situation was, he couldn’t imagine it: him sitting at a desk with a pen, trying to write a letter to him.

Sehwa held the envelope, hesitated for a moment, then tightly closed his eyes and pulled out the contents. At the same time, something heavy slid out.

“…Ah.”

Sehwa slowly blinked. What had fallen onto the soft rug was a card. A black federal bank check card that would have contained 12 billion won if he hadn’t bought a thousand-won ice cream. Sehwa stared at the item at his feet, then unfolded the letter, which was folded in half. It was blank. All it contained was that magnificent card, which even a 5-star resident couldn’t easily obtain.

He hadn’t expected a lengthy story from the beginning. He thought at least some trivial words like “This is really for you” would be written… Now that he looked closely, the packaging sticker from a stationery brand was still attached to the plastic wrapping the envelope. ‘Express your feelings!’ A speech bubble with a smiling face was shouting that.

Sehwa stared blankly at the pure white blank paper and the plastic, then bent down to pick up the card. He carefully put the letter and the check card back into the envelope and returned it to its original place. Express your feelings… That was right. This must be Gi Taejeong’s way of expressing his feelings. Bombarding the other person without them even knowing the meaning.

“…Haa.”

His strength was that no matter what happened, he would suffer a little and then quickly bounce back. He was quick to resign himself, easily accepted things, and then quickly tackled them with enthusiasm. But now, he felt nothing. What was the point of planning for the future? Just eat the food given to him, sleep when he needs to, take medicine if told to, and have surgery if told to, wasn’t that enough? Anyway, it would all go according to Gi Taejeong’s will.

…Stop it. He was tired of agonizing over the meaning alone, of expecting things arbitrarily and then being disappointed. No one would listen even if he sat down and cried, so what was the point?

“Why put it back?”

Sehwa, who had stepped back a couple of paces from the flower basket, flinched in surprise at the voice that suddenly came from behind him.

“You clearly know who I bought it for.”

Gi Taejeong was leaning against the doorframe, standing askew. When, no, how… Sehwa quickly dismissed the question marks spreading in his mind. What do you mean, how? He must have heard footsteps and the sound of water, so he probably figured he was awake.

“You’ve been crying all this time and just slept, so you must be hungry.”

“…”

“…Do you crave anything?”

“…”

“Do you want anything to eat?” Sehwa pressed strength into his legs, which felt like they would collapse at any moment, and barely managed to look up at him. He blinked his eyes, which were swollen like balloons, with difficulty.

“That…”

His voice, badly cracked, made him embarrassed, so he massaged his Adam’s apple. After rubbing his throat for a long time, Sehwa clearly repeated his question only after completely clearing the tears from his voice.

“Is that… perhaps like payment for sex?”

“…What?”

“Then I can’t accept it. That’s a debt I have to repay with my body…”

A gaze that could chew him alive was thrown at him. The man had a face he had never seen before. His raised eyebrows were dangerously sharp. His Adam’s apple, which jutted out as if he had heard a great insult, visibly throbbed.

“You said there would be a day when you’d stick 200 million won in that hole. I don’t think I’ve even paid off that debt yet, so how can I accept all this?”

Sehwa was swept by a strange exhilaration, having provoked an expression from the man he had never seen before with such trivial words. What else should he say? He rummaged for the sharpest sentence he could utter. He wished Gi Taejeong would also feel the loss of emotions that had swelled and then deflated arbitrarily, but…

The strange heat soon returned to Sehwa like a boomerang. Revenge was not like hanafuda cards, where you could pay back the exact same thing to your opponent. To inflict a similar blow on someone else, he too had to constantly look at his own festering wounds. Yes, in that sense, revenge was rather like a drug. You think you’ve bought enough hallucinations, but in the end, all that’s left is a tattered body and soul. Similarly, striking back at the opponent didn’t make his heart feel better. Rather, it only hurt and felt empty. He only realized anew how deep the wounds he had received were.

This too… is something I shouldn’t do. Sehwa pressed his aching chest and avoided his fiery gaze. The air, sharpened as if to split his body open, was biting. He stubbornly stared at the flower basket, pretending not to notice, when a firm arm suddenly entered his field of vision. Gi Taejeong abruptly turned him around, as if telling him not to avoid him.

“Payment for sex?”

He laughed coldly, as if repeating the words themselves was absurd. It was a low voice, pulled from deep within, as if he was holding something back.

“You need to be precise with your words. I didn’t give it to you because you sold your body, but because you’re pregnant.”

Sehwa’s gaze, which had been cast around Gi Taejeong’s shoulder, froze solid.

“…”

“Then ‘alimony’ would be a more appropriate term, I think.”

Their wavering gazes intertwined. His ugly reflection was visible in Gi Taejeong’s eyes. A face contorted, struggling to hold back what was welling up. Sehwa blinked for a moment, speechless, then suddenly dropped his head. He didn’t want to show his clearly hurt face anymore.

“…Brigadier General, how can a person be so…”

Instead of tears, a dry, parched laugh escaped him. He didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore. He didn’t want to cry either… It was okay because he hadn’t had any expectations. He knew Gi Taejeong was like this anyway, so…

“Lee Sehwa.”

Gi Taejeong grabbed Sehwa’s waist. Sehwa struggled, trying to make him let go, but he lifted Sehwa high, as if this level of resistance was nothing. Warm body heat touched his toes, dangling in the air. Sehwa’s feet slowly landed not on cold marble, but on his firm instep. It was in the arms of the man who had been breaking him and making him cry all day, the man who said it was alimony, not payment for sex.

“…What I was trying to say was.”

Having started the conversation, Gi Taejeong simply held Sehwa without continuing his words. He held him firmly, not allowing any distance between them.

“I said it earlier too. You know better than anyone how I treat those who are less than vermin.”

“…”

“If I thought of you like that, as soon as I knew you were pregnant, I would have put you on the operating table, whether you lived or died.”

A pungent, strong perfume scent firmly enveloped Sehwa’s trembling body.

“…You said you didn’t know.”

“…”

“And you said you’d take full responsibility.”

“Otherwise,” Gi Taejeong paused for a moment.

“Is there anything else you want? From me.”