March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 41

Sehwa bit his lip, barely swallowing the scream that threatened to burst forth. The inside of his cheek was bitten so hard that the taste of blood spread through his mouth. If he cried out in pain here, it would somehow seem like he was acknowledging Gi Taejeong’s words.

“Your bone isn’t broken. But your ligament is definitely injured.”

Gi Taejeong’s thumb slowly rotated halfway across the back of his hand, caressing the inside of Sehwa’s wrist. Heat boiled intensely wherever the man’s touch landed. In his crushed mind, only a few words floated.

Gi Taejeong, same orphan, not human, similar misfortune, why do you like me, cum rag…

It was embarrassing to even consider humiliation at this point, as he was thoroughly being swayed by him. The moment they first met, he had obediently bared his belly, wanting to live, and had even helped him in every way, physically and mentally, to seize the finished product using his unique constitution, and… looking at the result alone, it was true that he had spread his legs in exchange for Gi Taejeong paying off his debt.

Still… still, this wasn’t right. Just because he had shown a submissive attitude until now didn’t mean it gave him the right to arbitrarily dictate his other emotions.

“I’ll give you medicine later, so take it.”

Soft lips descended onto his cheek. He twisted his head this way and that to push him away, but Gi Taejeong persistently followed, kissing various parts of his face. It was a gentle kiss, like a bird pecking with its beak, and that made Sehwa’s stomach churn even more. This man knew how to kiss so tenderly, yet he had treated him like that until now.

When Sehwa rejected the shower of kisses by pulling his head away more violently, Gi Taejeong finally stopped his movements abruptly. Sehwa, with his head half-turned, cast his gaze anywhere. A gaze that seemed to want to devour him poured onto Sehwa’s profile, onto his sternocleidomastoid muscle, which was shallowly panting.

“Darling.”

Maintaining a fierce gaze that seemed ready to tear out his windpipe at any moment, Gi Taejeong released their intertwined fingers, which had been like vines. Sehwa squeezed his eyes shut. He’d hit him. Or this time, he’d break his wrist.

But Gi Taejeong’s choice, this time too, went against Sehwa’s expectations. He merely pulled Sehwa a little closer. The hand that gripped and kneaded his buttocks was firm, but it didn’t feel violent. Rather, it was soft and gentle, just like when he had kissed his cheek and forehead a moment ago.

“I think I can make you cry your eyes out right now over the topic you hate most.”

“Shall I do that?” Gi Taejeong asked, lowering his head. Their foreheads lightly touched. And that was all. There was no kiss, no sex, no assault. There was no hint of compulsion in his movements. It was the leisure of a beast that could cruelly slaughter its prey at any moment.

“You open your legs so well, but why do you clench your teeth and refuse a kiss, like a true whore?”

Gi Taejeong wore a cruel and wicked expression, like someone watching a sulking child, and watched Sehwa’s chest, which slowly swelled and deflated, with interest.

“…Brigadier General.”

“Why do you call me that when you’re not even my subordinate?”

Even in this situation, he wanted to be called by the title he preferred… The wound on his lower lip, which he had been biting and grinding in anxiety, split open with a ‘thud.’

“Brigadier General, do you… do you like me?”

At Sehwa’s sudden question, the smile that had been on Gi Taejeong’s face slowly faded.

“What?”

What am I saying? Even as he trembled with fear, a thrill rose from his toes. He hadn’t expected Gi Taejeong to look as if he’d been hit.

“Asking if you like me out of nowhere in this situation is a bit strange, isn’t it? Unless you’ve been thinking that all along…”

Sehwa forced his powerless hand up and brushed away the tears clinging to his eyelashes. As Gi Taejeong said, his bone didn’t seem broken, but his wrist area was definitely swelling red, indicating a severe injury. Well, thanks to that, he could attribute his intense nervousness and trembling to the injury, which was a relief.

“To say you want to have a child means you have to really like the other person, cough, right?”

It would have been better if his voice hadn’t trembled so foolishly. Still, Sehwa poured out everything that was gushing from within him. He knew this man wasn’t someone who would be hurt by just this much, but he still wanted to pull out all the thorns he harbored.

“You know well that I’m not capable of getting pregnant, yet you keep saying such… such things to me. I didn’t know why, but if it was because you liked me…”

He spoke back clearly, looking straight into Gi Taejeong’s eyes. Of course, that was just his mindset; his outward appearance was a mess. His fingertips trembled like a drug addict’s, and the skin under his frightened eyes was pale blue.

Sehwa knew himself well. This was probably the maximum resistance he could show anyway. Even now, he was talking back out of a momentary surge of anger, but if Gi Taejeong kicked and hit him like before. Or if he brought up the 3.78 billion won debt that they had agreed to forget… he would inevitably kneel before him.

He had always tried to act detached in front of people, but he wanted to hurt less and live if he could. His nature was weak and subservient, like a debtor who just drifted from one house outside the walls to another. But for now, even knowing full well what results this stubbornness would bring, he intended to stand firm.

Even when he eventually succumbed, he wanted to let Gi Taejeong know that if he acted so meanly, he might become uncooperative. He wanted him to think that it would be troublesome to hit him a few times, so he should stop pushing him like this in the future. That feeding him cake occasionally and just mentioning the debt was enough, and that bothering him by digging into his feelings was tiresome… like that.

“Ah, I see.”

Gi Taejeong just stared at Sehwa silently. His flat, uninflected tone was chilling, like a foreshadowing of the tragedy to come. Sehwa had braced himself for this much, no, even more. He listened calmly, or pretended to listen calmly, to Gi Taejeong’s words with a resolute expression.

“That’s right. Normally, you’d have to like someone to think about having a child with them.”

But… Gi Taejeong’s state was a bit strange. Instead of raising his hand to slap his cheek, he just smiled a beautifully drawn smile. Of course, only the corners of his lips curved into a crescent moon, while his eyes didn’t smile at all.

“Yes, I guess I like you.”

His words were icy, making it difficult for Sehwa to understand what Gi Taejeong was saying at once.

“…What?”

“You asked if I liked you. Yes, let’s say that’s it.”

The hands wrapped around his waist and buttocks gradually tightened. It didn’t hurt, but he felt a heat that seemed ready to tear and open him up. Gi Taejeong was angry at Sehwa for daring to defy him. In a way Sehwa had never seen before.

“I like you, Lee Sehwa.”

Sehwa’s lips parted in a gasp. At the voice calling him, at his name clearly spoken, his heart dropped to his toes. It was intentional. Gi Taejeong was doing this on purpose now. He wasn’t even trembling anymore. His body was completely stiff, unable to even blink. Gi Taejeong didn’t miss the opportunity and pressed his lips against Sehwa’s. He bit down as if to embrace the torn wound with only the tender flesh inside, and carefully licked away the flowing blood.

“Is that enough now?”

Lee Sehwa. I like you.

The beautiful words he thought he would never hear from another person in his life, the dreamlike calling he had only vaguely imagined… became the cruelest and coldest blade, stabbing at Sehwa’s chest. Warm breath poured onto his philtrum. Gi Taejeong’s tongue burrowed through his foolishly parted lips. He gently tapped and rubbed Sehwa’s tongue, which was stunned by shock and unable to return any reaction. It was a kiss so logical it was almost gentlemanly.

“Lee Sehwa.”

When Gi Taejeong called his name once more, with their lips still pressed together, a tear finally dropped.

“Why are you crying? Wasn’t this what you wanted to hear from me?”

No, it wasn’t. It would have been much better if he had called him a hole, or treated him like a cum rag. It was more bearable when he talked about unspeakable vulgar things and dragged him down like a prostitute. This, this was…

“St-stop…”

Did this show too? Like how his desire for a resident ID within the walls, not money, was easily read… Did his wish to be Lee Sehwa, not Sakura, March Boy, or Redhead, his presumptuous longing, all get exposed?

Sehwa bowed his head deeply. This mockery, which felt like it was pulling out and shattering even the deepest hidden dreams… he couldn’t bear it anymore. He had braced himself for the familiar violence on his body, but he hadn’t imagined his heart would be beaten. Sehwa had no immunity to this kind of cruelty.

“That’s strange. You don’t like it when I call your name. You asked if I liked you, and when I said I guess so, you just cried.”

Gi Taejeong lifted Sehwa’s bowed head. Seeing his eyes, which were not just moist but clouded over as if veiled, he chuckled and kissed his brow.

“You looked at me with an ecstatic face, like you were about to come every time I called your name.”

“……”

“How on earth did you survive in the house until now? With such an inability to hide your expressions.”

“……”

Normally, he would have snapped at him for not answering quickly. But Gi Taejeong, who had a goal in mind, patiently waited for Sehwa to react.

“…I’m sorry. I… I won’t do it again.”

“What are you sorry for? You are Lee Sehwa, aren’t you? You asked if I liked you, and I said yes. But damn it, what’s the problem that you’re crying even after I did what you asked, huh?”

“No, I…”

“Then what are you? If not Lee Sehwa, then what?”

Sehwa knew the answer Gi Taejeong wanted. He wanted him to apologize for his impertinence, and to admit it himself. That he was his cum rag. For a moment, he felt a tiny bit of emotion towards him, whether it was pity or empathy, and he was sorry. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“At first, you had a sullen face, but then you’d cry and laugh and chatter whenever you saw me, and now, just because I told you some old stories, you’re acting like you’re my lover, desperate to comfort me…”

The man’s hand gripping Sehwa’s jaw tightened.

“It’s not even funny.”

“……”

“Who are you to look at me with such a face, huh?”

Sehwa’s lips, barely exhaling, trembled. Was… was that so? A face that wanted to comfort him like a lover? Was I looking at you with that expression…?

“Don’t harbor useless feelings.”

“……”

“Even if it’s not romantic love, as you claim. Whether it’s fondness, pity, or anything else.”

A choked gasp forced its way up his throat. The hidden meaning of the command was clear. Don’t get ahead of yourself, you’re just a toy he’s playing with, a hole he uses.

“Lee Sehwa. Do you not understand what I’m saying? Shall I explain it again?”

“No, for talking back, hiccup, I’m sorry…”

Sehwa sobbed and dropped his head. Stop it. I’m sorry, so don’t say that. He mumbled and whispered repeatedly. He pleaded. Please, stop.

“Why are you so disobedient when I said I’d dote on you if you behaved well, huh?”

Gi Taejeong roughly gripped Sehwa’s cheek. The grip was so strong his jaw felt like it would dislocate.

“If you act impertinent again, I’ll make you repeat with your own mouth that you’re a hole and a cum rag. And you wouldn’t want to be fucked all day, would you?”

“Yes, I’m sorry…”

“Good, that’s how you should behave.”

Gi Taejeong tapped his cheek with his index finger. His face appeared and disappeared in Sehwa’s vision, blurred by tears. Was Gi Taejeong… smiling? It seemed so. No, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know anything…

“Open your mouth.”

Gi Taejeong’s tongue burrowed into his submissively parted lips. As if the gentle kiss from a moment ago was a lie, the hot flesh that penetrated deeply violated Sehwa’s tongue in a messy and lewd manner. This was the real kiss, finally feeling like Gi Taejeong.