March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 139

Gi Taejeong rose from his seat with a serious expression, like a commander preparing for a surprise attack. He moved towards the bedroom, suppressing his steps as much as possible, but to his dismay, the rustling grew clearer and clearer. He could hear the rustle of the sheets, as if the baby was kicking its feet, and the sound of skin sticking and unsticking as its lips puckered.

While guarding Sehwa, Gi Taejeong had also become quite accustomed to the child’s daily routine. Thanks to his diligent study of parenting books in an attempt to change Sehwa’s mind before they parted ways, he was well-versed in basic knowledge.

This was clearly an age where the baby couldn’t express its will with sounds other than whimpering when uncomfortable or frustrated. It probably couldn’t even babble, let alone move its hands and feet as it wished. But why… why did it suddenly wake up, and right after that sitter left?

As he carefully entered the bedroom, the clean, sun-drenched scent of bedding, as if it had been thoroughly scalded, wafted strongly. The fragrance of baby items mingled with Sehwa’s body odor, creating a dizzyingly sweet aroma. Gi Taejeong, who had been standing rigidly by the door, repeatedly wiped his face, then finally composed himself.

If something had happened to the child, and if he left it alone and something went wrong… this time, everything would truly be over. So, he had to examine it carefully. Just look.

He hadn’t felt the slightest tension even while directly touching and handling terrifying weapons for a week, but now his palms were slightly sweaty.

As he took a few steps closer, the movement became clearly visible. Fortunately, the baby wasn’t crying and was playing well by itself.

It was wearing a space-suit-like outfit that covered both its hands and feet, which made it look like a starfish. Or maybe a stingray… Was it a swaddle-like garment that constricted its body? Anyway, wearing a pale yellow outfit, like a chick soaked in milk, its tiny body squirming… it was cute.

Gi Taejeong, who had been idly glancing around the bed, took another short deep breath before he could properly look at the child’s face.

The first thing that caught his eye were the chubby cheeks. The wide-open pink lips, the equally tiny ears and nose, and… the large, round eyes staring up at him.

Forgetting even to breathe, Gi Taejeong stared intently at the child. It was his first time facing it this closely.

“…They’re really identical.”

Even though his voice was low and cracked enough to startle himself, the baby didn’t flinch and merely blinked its eyes docilely. Then it puckered its lips with a giggling face. It might have been his own delusion, no, it definitely was a delusion, but it seemed as if the child was mumbling a reply to his murmur.

“You look just like Sehwa.”

He decided to retract his uninspired impressions of it looking like a starfish or a stingray. It resembled none of those things. Sehwa’s child was… hmm, what would be good? What expression would be appropriate? His tongue, which had moved so smoothly in front of Sehwa as if oiled, now stopped dead. How should he describe this absurdly cute sight in its absurd clothes?

Perhaps for temperature control, the baby was also wearing a hat on its tiny head, and it even had ears. Two tiny, round ears, like a puppy’s or a bear’s, were proudly attached, and the sight was so absurdly beautiful that he let out a hollow laugh.

The small creature, with a face identical to Sehwa’s, simply stared at him. Whether it was innate or not, the corners of its mouth were slightly turned up, as if smiling even when it was just blank. He knew it couldn’t understand anything, but it seemed so innocent, as if it couldn’t even imagine that the person in front of it could harm it.

Ah. The moment his gaze met those smooth, pebble-like eyes, Gi Taejeong couldn’t say a word. It felt as if the ground had fallen away beneath him. Haerim, Lee Haerim. The child’s name, which he still hadn’t been allowed to use, or even be involved with, merely lingered on his tongue. It surged out from within him before he could endure it. Lee Haerim, no other beautiful word could describe this child.

At the same time, a cruel memory from a certain day flashed across his eyelids. His own taunting voice harshly struck his ears. What harsh words had he said to the battered Sehwa? What curse had he cast upon this good baby, who didn’t even cry when he woke up, as the sitter said, and didn’t whimper even when seeing a stranger?

Yet here he was, marveling that it resembled Sehwa, amazed at how cute it was… was it even appropriate?

Sehwa’s child had an incredible power. There was something indescribable that made even Gi Taejeong, who still treated others like shit except for Sehwa, instinctively want to kneel and reflect on his past life.

“…Even if you didn’t resemble Sehwa, would I have been this glad?”

Gi Taejeong leaned his upper body fully forward, looking at the baby from close range, and mumbled softly.

If you had resembled me instead of Sehwa. No, if you had been ugly, resembling neither of us… would I still have marveled at you like this, and felt so sorry?

Before his thoughts were even finished, the answer loudly echoed in his mind. Damn it, talk sense. Of course he would have. He would have been terribly sorry, and so glad he could cry.

He pushed away the pathetic foolishness that kept welling up from within him due to the suffocating guilt. Yes. It would have been beautiful in any form. Because it was Sehwa’s child, of all people. Even though he had no rights now… it was Sehwa’s and his child, so how could it not be beautiful?

The baby, oblivious, twitched its nose and stretched its arms as if yawning. As it did so, the rabbit doll decorating its head was slightly pushed aside, and Gi Taejeong was only bewildered by the delicate grip that couldn’t even leave a mark on such a cotton ball.

They said his development was normal. Was it normal for him to be so weak? The real baby was so different from what he had learned from books and holograms that, no joke, Gi Taejeong felt faint, wondering if something would break at any moment.

“Hoo-ing…”

After squirming alone for a while, the baby pouted its lips, as if something was bothering it. Its mouth, which had been open like a tiny corn kernel, was now tightly shut, forming a triangle, and tiny wrinkles appeared on its small chin. Its eyebrows curved downwards, and its large eyes glistened with moisture.

Ah, it’d be a disaster if it cried. There’s no one here now. Even as he thought that, Gi Taejeong found himself laughing loudly. This tiny thing, even its crying face looked just like its father.

“Why, what’s bothering you?”

When he gently patted its cheeks, white and warm like freshly baked bread, the whimpering sound grew a little louder. He subtly checked below, but it wasn’t warm. It didn’t seem like it was time to change the diaper… Was it just wanting human warmth?

After much hesitation, Gi Taejeong carefully reached into the bed. As he positioned himself to pick it up, he belatedly realized that the various decorations on his uniform jacket might harm the delicate baby’s skin, and hurriedly took off his clothes first.

Then, holding his breath as if diving, he carefully lifted the baby. It truly felt like he was pulling a soft, swaying sea creature out of the water. It was so light that it didn’t even feel like he was holding anything.

At first, he used both arms to hold it, but perhaps because his hands were large or the baby was small, it felt uncomfortable. Holding it with just one arm felt more stable.

The baby stopped its loud crying and looked up at Gi Taejeong with eyes completely devoid of tears. Perhaps because it had stopped mid-cry, its pupils sparkled intensely.

When he was with Sehwa, he deliberately didn’t bring up the topic of the child. He didn’t ask to see it, nor did he ask about anything related to it. Although he had insisted and argued with Commander Oh Seonran to bear the expenses for the child in the protective room, Sehwa was unaware of this.

He wasn’t the only one who kept his lips sealed on this topic. Sehwa also didn’t let him into the bedroom. While he would leave Gi Taejeong in the living room and check on the child inside, he never once invited him in.

Sehwa didn’t want to break this current peace. Sharing heartfelt thoughts was still difficult, and even if they started, it would eventually lead to criticism directed at him. That was inevitable, and it was natural. Sehwa had done nothing wrong.

If the conversation flowed that way, Sehwa would cry again, and he would be sick of himself for doing so. Gi Taejeong was willing to accept Sehwa repeating the same words countless times, but since the person involved found it difficult to bear, there was no sharp solution. He was learning, watching Sehwa these days, that urging someone with many wounds to vent their frustrations could be another form of violence.

So, these days, the two of them are trying their best to cut out any conversations that would be difficult or uncomfortable for each other.

“Today’s the last day. I can’t hold you anymore.”

This is me secretly holding you, he whispered softly, and the baby puckered its lips as if replying, just like before. Its cheek was slightly pressed against his firm chest, a sight so cute that he forgot the situation and immediately wanted to call Sehwa, to urge him to come see this face.

“Why did you wake up? You were sleeping so well.”

The baby just blinked with a smiling face. Even though he knew it wasn’t a reaction born of recognition and interaction, Gi Taejeong kept talking to the child.

“They say it’s not good for them to get used to being held…”

Even when it was just a hologram in the maternity notebook, it would wail if he carelessly tossed the notebook aside. It only smiled when he roughly tickled its face with his finger. Even though it was just virtual data.

It wasn’t something to dismiss as a well-decorated hologram. Seeing it cry for no reason and then immediately smile brightly when held by him, it seemed there was quite a connection.

If he stayed silent, the baby might get bored, but talking to himself would be even stranger… He ran out of things to say to the child and awkwardly paced the bedroom for a bit when his watch alarm went off.

He quickly shook his wrist to activate the window, and the sitter’s path, who had gone to get supplies, floated up. It showed in detail who was with him and what the radio communication status was in the vicinity. A message from Lieutenant Park also immediately came in, stating that Commander Oh Seonran had been reported to and that the sitters’ background checks were underway.

Gi Taejeong, who had been looking at the map, walked towards the baby’s bed. He needed to put this tiny thing back down before that sitter came back… The sensation of it sticking to his hand like dough was regrettable.

But he couldn’t ask to see the child now either…

It was partly because he regretted the cruel words he had hurled at Sehwa at the harbor, but also because he didn’t want his attitude to seem as if it were influenced by the child. He wanted Sehwa to feel that he was sorry regardless of any external factors, and that he genuinely wanted to be forgiven.

He wanted Sehwa to know that even in this state, he loved him, and brazenly, he wanted to win back his love. It would be a misunderstanding if Sehwa thought he was clinging to him because he wanted to be a family. He wasn’t hoping Sehwa would accept him out of necessity just because there was a child.

He was a far more greedy person than Sehwa imagined.

“Brigadier General?”

Gi Taejeong, unable to tear the miniature version of Sehwa from his arms, was still staring at the perfectly ordered footsteps in the hologram when the front door creaked open and Sehwa’s voice suddenly rang out.

“The shoes are here… Brigadier, no, Major General?”

Sehwa’s bewildered voice, as if he couldn’t imagine Gi Taejeong being in the bedroom, wandered through the kitchen and living room. Gi Taejeong bit hard inside his cheek and quickly but carefully put the baby down. He put on his uniform jacket, which he had draped over the baby’s crib railing, and was quickly buttoning it up when the eyes of the little one lying down became suspiciously teary.

“What are you doing here…”

“Waaaah!”

As soon as Sehwa, who had finally found him, entered the bedroom with a puzzled expression, the baby, who had been unceremoniously laid down on the bed for no apparent reason, burst into a loud cry.