March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 134

“Sometimes, when people heard Director Gi’s story, they reacted just like you, Mr. Sehwa. Yes, with exactly that expression.”

His tone was gentle, like someone comforting a younger sibling. That expression? What did his face look like? As he fumbled at his cheek, Captain Na chuckled softly.

“And whenever that happens, Director Gi, well… it’s a bit much to say this in front of Mr. Sehwa, but… he would go wild like someone on drugs.”

Even that seemed to be a carefully chosen, polite expression, as a deep shadow briefly crossed Captain Na’s face as he recalled a past moment.

“You know, some people act deliberately to hide their weaknesses or complexes? Unfortunately, Director Gi isn’t that type. To borrow Director Gi’s frequent expression, he just hates it when people treat him like that, because it’s ‘fucking annoying’.”

“……”

“He’s someone who considers being pitied the most horrible thing in the world. He hates it when people pity him arbitrarily, caught up in their own emotions, when he doesn’t pity himself… Well, it’s true that Director Gi has a lot going for him, so you can’t just pity him. And…”

Captain Na scratched the back of his head, as if wondering how Mr. Lee Sehwa would take this story.

“Mr. Sehwa is the only person who has treated Director Gi like that and still has all his limbs intact. I was so surprised when I heard about it later… No, to be precise, it’s more accurate to say that Mr. Lee Sehwa is the only person who has become special to Director Gi…”

“……”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, there’s nothing to be surprised about. Director Gi is fine. And there’s no need to feel sorry for him if he doesn’t want it.”

Sehwa unconsciously glanced at his own wrists.

When he had shown a hint of pity after hearing about Gi Taejeong’s boy soldier days in the bunker, he had twisted Sehwa’s wrist. He had mocked his heart, which had so easily melted with just a few words, and cruelly ridiculed everything he had cherished. It hadn’t hurt more than the first time he was kicked by him.

But if Gi Taejeong’s words and actions stemmed from being treated this way since his distant childhood…

If it was a defensive trait he had acquired from living days where no one worried about him, even when his neck was pierced and his flesh torn to the point where muscles and bones were exposed, where it was enough if he could function normally regardless of injury, where no one cared for him even though healing easily didn’t mean not feeling pain… then, perhaps, Gi Taejeong’s sharp reaction at the time was somewhat understandable.

Of course, he didn’t want to embrace him while considering his hidden story. Regardless of what happened, Gi Taejeong had indeed treated him harshly at the time. Being raised and treated like a killing machine didn’t excuse hurting others. But…

“Then I can go in now, right? If he’s not undergoing surgery…”

Captain Na jumped up as if asking if he was serious. He asked repeatedly if he was really going to go in, with Director Gi Taejeong inside.

“Oh, there’s absolutely no problem.”

Captain Na nudged Sehwa’s back, saying it was almost time for him to wake up.

“His wounds will have already healed, so you won’t see anything gruesome.”

Captain Na’s cheerful addition made him feel a little sick. He knew he was trying to lighten the mood for his sake, but it felt as if heavy stones were being placed one by one on his heart because of it.

Sehwa hesitated for a moment with his hand on the hospital room door, then squeezed his eyes shut and pushed it open.

The hospital room was incredibly luxurious, fitting for a place that hosted high-ranking officials. Sunlight poured in through the sheer-draped panoramic window. Outside, a well-maintained garden and walking paths were visible, and the arranged furnishings were clearly expensive.

In the center was a bed surrounded on all sides by white curtains. Was it a device for privacy? Anyway, that much felt similar to an emergency room seen in the news, and thanks to that, he had time to mentally prepare, which was fortunate. Even though he had boldly burst in, he felt it would have been unbearable to see Gi Taejeong’s face with his eyes closed.

“Captain Na.”

While he was staring blankly at the bed, lost in an indescribable emotion, a low voice he had never heard before shook Sehwa’s thoughts.

“Bring me my watch.”

Did he wake up sensing his presence? Or was he already awake? Whatever it was, he couldn’t tell from outside the curtains. Given how his voice had sunk, as if it could bore through the ground, he probably hadn’t been awake for long.

What should he do? Should he call Captain Na? As he hesitated, he absurdly heard the sound of a lighter being flicked inside. As a wisp of white smoke rose, the various ventilation systems installed in the hospital room began to whir furiously. Since it seemed to be a hospital room where smoking was permitted, there were no additional measures like alarms ringing. Was that a good thing?

He was so dumbfounded that his tension completely dissipated. He was bewildered by Gi Taejeong, who thought nothing of being stabbed and immediately reached for a cigarette, and flabbergasted by the man’s lack of common sense, who didn’t even consider that he was in a hospital. He completely forgot the solemn resolve he had gathered upon entering.

“Captain Na, my watch.”

The voice urging him again was louder than before, and his pronunciation was slightly slurred from taking a deep drag of the cigarette and exhaling smoke. Sehwa rubbed his arm, which kept getting goosebumps from the man’s voice hitting his ears, and carefully pulled back the opaque curtain.

Gi Taejeong was standing with his back to him. He had only taken one recovery pill… and there was no IV pole, so he wasn’t even on a drip.

“Sehwa and the child.”

Still uncomfortable, his movements in putting on his top weren’t as quick as usual. Following his slow hand gestures, the mountain-like muscles etched on his broad back rippled and flexed. His pace in getting dressed was just a little slow; fortunately, he wasn’t unable to use his hands. The areas that had been stabbed and torn seemed to have healed completely.

“Why aren’t you answering…”

The man, with a cigarette hanging carelessly from his lips, finally turned sharply. Gi Taejeong’s dark eyebrows twitched in displeasure as he spotted the figure standing blankly. The irritation on his brow quickly transformed into surprise, then into a profound stillness.

Sehwa suddenly recalled the first time he encountered Gi Taejeong. It was cold then too, and the streets, tangled with snow and flower petals, were terribly messy. The man who stared intently at him exhaled cigarette smoke like breath, his eyes crinkling with interest, and asked if he was that famous flower. And now,

“……”

Gi Taejeong was facing him, unintentionally in the exact same posture as back then.

Only his expression seemed to have changed. Ah… no? His complexion seemed much worse than when he last saw him. His picturesque appearance was still the same, but now his facial lines were so sharp they seemed capable of cutting if one stood too close.

The man’s eyes, which had lost their luster and were pitch black, greatly wavered. A kaleidoscope of emotions, which even Sehwa couldn’t read, lingered and vanished in his gaze and on his face.

“…Seems like nothing happened. If you came all the way here, leaving the child.”

Gi Taejeong casually stubbed out his cigarette on the bedside table and quickly waved his hand. By the time the acrid smoke had completely cleared, the man had his usual relaxed expression. If it weren’t for the bewildered hand gestures scattering the smoke and the wavering eyes that saw him, he wouldn’t have noticed that he was feigning composure.

“The reason I went to see you, dressed like that, was…”

He gave a short cough and repeatedly rubbed his throat with his palm. Why did he light a cigarette as soon as he woke up? Sehwa inwardly clicked his tongue… but on second thought, he seemed to be trying to prevent him from looking at the place where he had been stabbed.

“It was Commander Oh Seonran’s request. Because there might be crazy bastards like the ones you saw earlier.”

“……”

“I didn’t intentionally try to deceive you. We’ll strengthen security, and from now on, only pre-registered medical personnel will be allowed in and out…”

“Are you happy?”

An unintended question blurted out before Gi Taejeong could finish his sentence. Sehwa stared blankly at the man who didn’t coldly scoff as before, despite being rudely interrupted, then slowly asked again. So, was he happy now?

“You’re no longer a General, but a Director, and the trial had a good outcome… You’ve gotten everything you wished for. If you just arbitrarily removed people to ‘help’ and did whatever you wanted until the end…”

“……”

“Then you should be happy. Why… why do you have that expression?”

Sehwa somehow felt like crying. Only now did he realize the reason for the hollowness he had felt throughout the time he was absent.

He felt as if he had been abandoned once again by that man who had pushed him away on that beach.

He resented and hated Gi Taejeong, who had suddenly handed him over to Commander Oh Seonran without any warning, who had given him no choice. Upon realizing the specific reason, a sorrow so immense that he didn’t know how he had endured it until now washed over him.

Whatever the reason, whatever the pretext… even if the whole world said so, this man, at least, should never have done anything against him again. If he was going to have this expression after so much time, if he was going to look at him with these eyes, if he was going to throw his whole body carelessly onto a sharp blade… he shouldn’t have sent him away like that. He should have let him be the one to let go of him, to abandon him.

It was true that he wanted to escape from Gi Taejeong and hated the sight of him. But he hadn’t wished for an end like that. This cruel and selfish man hadn’t respected him until the very end. But… at the same time as he felt angry and sorrowful, a contradictory emotion, one that could never coexist, subtly raised its head.

The most profound affection this man, raised and treated like a weapon, could bestow was that farewell. Realizing that it was Gi Taejeong’s own desperate regret and apology, he could no longer simply hate him. He had seen with his own eyes how this man was treated within the military, despite having only earned a fancy star; it was impossible to resent him blindly as before.

Truly, truly… it was fucking ridiculous. Gi Taejeong truly had a knack for making people feel like crap.

“…No.”

Without knowing Sehwa’s thoughts, Gi Taejeong strode towards him. The untucked shirt, with buttons improperly fastened, flapped widely. With each long stride he took, a sharp smell of disinfectant and cigarette smoke wafted over.

Sehwa quickly checked Gi Taejeong’s hands and neck. The area where the scalpel had pierced him was smooth and shiny, without a single scar.

Even if one took a recovery pill and new skin grew without a scar, the painful sensation wouldn’t be forgotten. Yet, Gi Taejeong stood before Sehwa like someone who had never been wounded, hesitating for a long time. No, no, no. He kept repeating those words like a broken clock.

“I thought I had everything… but I didn’t.”

“……”

“Without you, I’m not happy at all.”