March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 125

“The sea…?”

“Yes, the sea.”

No. Rather than refreshed, the expression “relieved and empty” would be more fitting. Gi Taejeong seemed like someone who felt a sense of relief now that everything was over, and at the same time, like someone who had let go of everything and had no lingering regrets.

“At this hour… the sea, why…”

“There’s a beach only 5-star people can go to. It’s bright and well-lit there, so it’s fine.”

Gi Taejeong repeatedly emphasized that it was safe because the country had spent a lot of money to decorate it.

Why was he trying so hard to appeal to the splendor and harmlessness of the place he was going, so uncharacteristically? Sehwa tilted his head in bewilderment, then belatedly realized the reason.

The sea at night… The events that had unfolded at the Sector 2 port came to mind a beat late. Sehwa was both flustered and dumbfounded by himself, and he unconsciously scoffed. Of course, it was a small gesture, so small that Gi Taejeong wouldn’t have noticed.

It was undoubtedly the most horrific memory of his life, but he wondered if he truly deserved to grieve over the past. Just today, the baby, Haerim, had heard talk of being dragged away by strangers. Even if humans were creatures of oblivion, it was quite a feat to forget so quickly.

There were many excuses. So many things had happened since then that with his narrowed vision, he was too busy just processing the immediate, overwhelming events.

He had collapsed from shock and undergone major surgery. As a side effect, he had temporarily lost his memory, and fortunately, when he came to, his voice was gone. They said all his injuries had healed, but he still couldn’t walk straight. He had barely managed to speak, but his sentences were still clumsy.

Amidst all this, Captain Oh Seonran had adopted him. He had been a low-born who had yearned for a 1-star resident ID his entire life, but now he was a 5-star citizen, no less. And Gi Taejeong kept trying to sway him, saying they should try again.

Sehwa muttered excuses to himself, not knowing whom he was addressing. Overwhelming and difficult tasks piled up endlessly, leaving him no room to dwell on past misfortunes.

Still, he felt it wasn’t right to be okay already, so Sehwa forcefully scraped away the scars of depression he had pushed far away. What right did he have to feel okay already, when he couldn’t even protect the child he had given birth to? He sternly rebuked his own heart, which wanted to feel even a little comfortable, and his shameless subconscious, which struggled to live.

“Let’s go. You like the sea, enough to name the child Haerim.”

“……”

“Remember the display we saw at the department store? We’re going to that beach.”

Seeing Sehwa’s face, unfamiliar with warm moments, Gi Taejeong held his breath for a moment. Then, as if nothing had happened, he continued softly.

What casual conversation they had while looking at the realistic display on the escalator that day, what vacation plans they made on the way back to the official residence, what you were curious about then, and how brightly you smiled while talking about it…

“I’ll tell you how the trial went on the way. …Let’s go together.”

Gi Taejeong, who had been trying to persuade Sehwa step by step, eventually had to change direction. Sweet moments of the past no longer held any meaning for him. The broken, hollow eyes, and the very small amount of emotion remaining at their bottom, were solely for the child.

Sehwa blinked a few times, then finally stumbled to his feet. Gi Taejeong draped the thick cardigan he had left on the sofa over Sehwa’s thin shoulders and gently held his pale fingertips, which peeked out from the loose patient gown sleeves, without hurting him.

After walking a few steps, Gi Taejeong suddenly remembered something.

“Have we ever walked holding hands?”

“……”

“No, I guess not.”

He had barely learned how to walk side by side, matching Sehwa’s slow pace, but he had never walked leisurely holding his hand like this. No, he had never even taken Sehwa to a nice place in the first place.

He would only let him out when he was confined inside and had to go buy fruit or something. Short walks in the parking lot right in front of the Sector 4 House or in the official residence’s yard. That was the extent of Sehwa’s allowed outings.

Most of the times he had held Sehwa’s hand were when he couldn’t control his temper. When he dragged him somewhere or held him to do something. Or when he wanted to confirm if Sehwa truly submitted to him while accepting his kisses… He never offered his hand otherwise.

What was the big deal? What was so hard about holding his hand? Just this much physical contact could warm his heart, so why hadn’t he realized it then?

Gi Taejeong gazed blankly at Sehwa’s sleeve, which was tickling the back of his hand, and smiled bitterly. He had done many things wrong, and many things he couldn’t do because he didn’t know… Even now, unlike Sehwa, he was a selfish person, only thinking that if given another chance, he would want to do better.

“This is a big problem.”

“…Yes?”

“No, let’s go.”

Gi Taejeong checked his wristwatch and led Sehwa. The time he had promised Captain Oh Seonran was approaching. He had vowed never to appear before Sehwa and the child again, so he wanted to imprint this face in his eyes just one more time before then.

Regret and lingering attachment, which should no longer be shown, piled up.

There were a few hidden routes in the 5-star port that only those in the know were aware of. One of them was this beach. Of course, even if you knew the settings, the gate wouldn’t open unless you scanned it with an item issued by the military… Anyway, the beach, accessible only to a select few authorized 5-star citizens, was indeed beautiful. Even Sehwa, who had shown no emotion recently, was surprised enough to crane his neck out the car window.

Gi Taejeong parked the car haphazardly nearby and led Sehwa to the sandy beach.

Sehwa walked awkwardly, like a child who had just learned to take his first steps. Curious about the creamy soft sand, he would walk a step, then look around, then take another step and subtly lift his foot to examine the sole of his shoe… He scurried around the sandy beach diligently, like a newborn animal seeing the outside world for the first time.

Ah, he hadn’t meant to laugh. Sehwa’s bright appearance, seen after a long time, was so beautiful, and it felt like a feather was constantly tickling his heart, so Gi Taejeong finally couldn’t hold back and burst into laughter.

Sehwa, seemingly offended, stopped abruptly and wiggled only his toes with a sulky face. Then, as if even that sensation pleased him, he soon relaxed his face and waddled around, leaving footprints everywhere.

Walking slowly with Sehwa without a word, the sun had already set.

It was strange. At the Air Force training base or the House where Sehwa had lived, at this time, a reddish-black sunset would fall. Buildings and alleys would be swallowed up by the rake-like twilight, and darkness would descend instantly.

But the twilight here was simply beautiful. The floating clouds were like whipped cream stirred with a muddler, and the sky just after sunset was a mysterious blend of pink and purple. It was a scene like the dessert shop’s packaging box he had once given Sehwa.

Various subtly placed lights, designed to allow enjoyment of the resort even after sunset, began to turn on sequentially. Even if it got darker than this, there would be no problem appreciating the scenery before them.

The color of the sea, as if the evening glow had been poured into it, was beautiful… and at the same time, amusing. Even the sun and clouds, which anyone could see by simply lifting their heads, were not truly equal. There was a separate sky for those with wealth and power.

And Gi Taejeong had struggled his entire life to stand at that apex. At first, it was because he didn’t want to die, and after that… it was because he wanted to.

Since things had come to this, he spared no effort in grabbing everything he could. At some point, he couldn’t even blame the military anymore. It was his own fault, and no one else’s, that he had confined, made cry, and never even held the hand of the precious person he would never encounter again in his life.

“The Kim family has agreed to take full responsibility for the Sector 2 fire, and in return, Kim Seokcheol will have his insignia removed and come under my command.”

“…What does that…”

“It means the Kim family will pour all their money into the Sector 2 restoration and damage compensation, but they won’t bear the disgrace of their son’s dishonorable discharge or imprisonment.”

“…And Colonel Kim, that man, accepted that?”

“Accepted? He loved it. Because even if I torture and kill that bastard Kim Seokcheol, he’ll still have the honor of dying as a soldier.”

“But… Lieutenant Kim is his son.”

“It must have been harder to endure being ridiculed in high society than losing his own son. In the long run, he probably calculated that money could be earned again, but a label of dishonor, once attached, couldn’t be removed.”

“……”

“Since there had never been a single disgraceful instance of a high-ranking family member surrendering their insignia, their pride must have been hurt even more. Lieutenant Kim Seokcheol, with his head in the clouds, probably caused trouble believing he could somehow get reinstated.”

Sehwa stared blankly at Gi Taejeong, as if in shock. Indeed, he, who had willingly thrown himself away to protect a baby still in the incubator, would never understand the mindset of 5-star people.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

He probably wasn’t interested in meals, but he had prepared something in advance, so he led Sehwa a little further. Past the clustered palm trees, a huge cabana with a white canopy appeared.

“I’m not particularly hungry either, but they say you do all this when you come to the beach.”

“……”

“I won’t force you to eat, so just think of it as setting the mood.”

Inside the cabana, a soft rug was laid out, and it was more comfortable than expected, with a temperature control system. Mini-bars, comfortable furniture, and all sorts of curious high-tech facilities lined the space, but what truly caught Sehwa’s eye was the crackling bonfire at the U-shaped, concave entrance of the cabana.

Gi Taejeong pulled over a portable chair and sat Sehwa in front of the fire, then placed various foods on the grill. He hadn’t had high expectations due to the time constraint, but he was relieved that he could at least put together a decent spread.

Seasoned meat, shrimp skewers, neatly trimmed vegetables, and fruits were constantly placed on the grill. When he started grilling pineapple sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, Sehwa looked at him with disbelief, as if he didn’t understand, but then, curious about the unique sweetness enhanced by the flavor, he tasted it and his eyes widened. When he was handed a soft, melted marshmallow, he ate more than half of it, pretending not to be interested.

Gi Taejeong traced Sehwa’s mouth, stained with sugar powder, with his gaze for a long time. It was strange. He clearly had a firm, straight mouth, but he could feel that he was smiling, and that he was happy with just this much… Indeed, you were always a person who found happiness in the smallest things.

But then, Sehwa would hang his head low. Even when he showed a little interest in what was shown and fed to him, he would often drop his head and quickly look gloomy, as if he found himself pathetic for getting excited over such things.

Gi Taejeong wanted to kiss those sorrowful, beautiful eyebrows. He also wanted to gently stroke his dry face, telling him it wasn’t his fault at all. But Lee Sehwa, who used to smile as if he owned the world over a single cherry, now tried to be strict with himself, as if he didn’t deserve to feel any joy.

While his knees had buckled from the past events with him, the fact that his child could be taken away from him because of his origins, and that such discussions could even occur regardless of the actual outcome, seemed to prevent Sehwa from smiling at all.

Gi Taejeong chewed on his cheek and stole a glance at Sehwa’s profile, warming his hands by the fire. He knew it would make Sehwa uncomfortable, so he tried not to stare, but he couldn’t help but be captivated.

His slightly grown bangs swayed in the wind, and the reflected water light sparkled on his round forehead and cheeks. It was already early autumn, so the evenings were quite chilly. Time passed so quickly that it felt as if the season he first met Sehwa would arrive in a blink of an eye.

“Lee Sehwa.”

Feeling a tightening deep inside, Gi Taejeong suddenly stood up.

“I have… something to give you.”

He picked up the shopping bag placed casually at the cabana entrance and took a deep breath. He felt as if he would never be able to speak if he didn’t do it now.