March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 113

“It doesn’t seem like you’re doing this just to put your surname on him.”

“……”

“Lee Sehwa.”

He had been slightly shrinking, sensing something unusual in Gi Taejeong’s demeanor, wondering how he would be tormented this time. But, absurdly, there was a hint of disappointment in Gi Taejeong’s voice as he called his name.

Sehwa was a little surprised, as he had never imagined Gi Taejeong could feel such emotions, let alone express them.

“You kept your mouth shut in front of me, no matter what I bought you or what topic I brought up, but you can easily tell me not to use my surname? And in front of others?”

Even though he kept his eyes down, pretending to focus only on the incubator, he could clearly read the flustered movements of the nurses. In particular, the person who was modifying the information hesitated, unable to press the final input button, and just looked nervously outside.

“It doesn’t matter whether the child takes the Gi surname or the Lee surname. But…”

Gi Taejeong finally checked where Sehwa’s gaze was directed, then stopped mid-sentence and slammed his hand against a wall. With a dull tearing sound, the glass wall turned milky white. Had he pressed a blocking button? Anyway, because of that, only the silhouettes of people could barely be seen through the window, and no sound could be heard.

The situation seemed to be the same on the opposite side. The nurses waved their hands widely, as if pushing them away, gesturing broadly. It seemed to be a signal for them to talk comfortably, without worrying.

“It seems you’re insisting on using your surname simply because you don’t want my trace on the child.”

“……”

“I’m asking. You spoke well to the nurse, so why won’t you open your mouth to me? Huh?”

The man, who remarkably didn’t swear, grabbed Sehwa’s shoulder. He didn’t twist his body with force; it was merely a hand placed on him, yet Sehwa’s body, devoid of any energy, easily turned towards him. He wondered if even a trivial blade of grass, bending with the wind, wouldn’t have more spirit than this.

“Why…, is this… important?”

“What? Are you saying that now?”

“He’s… my child. It’s not… important to you, Brigadier General…”

“Lee Sehwa!”

He wasn’t trying to deliberately provoke Gi Taejeong; he was genuinely curious. On the contrary, if he had said he would give Saessak the Gi surname, Gi Taejeong should have been angry, telling him not to be presumptuous. He was saying he wouldn’t cause him trouble on his own, so why was Gi Taejeong so serious?

Gi Taejeong had told him to silently follow if he didn’t want to see the child live a shabby life forever. That was something he could say because he held no value for him or the child.

He was frantically buying expensive baby products that would clearly be discarded before even a season passed, just because he wanted to see Sehwa wagging his tail and smiling slyly, like he used to…

“…Hmph, fine. Register him with your surname. That doesn’t matter anyway. But give me a reason I can accept, explain it yourself.”

“……”

“Otherwise, I won’t let you change it.”

“…So, why?”

At the threat that Saessak would keep the Gi surname if he didn’t speak, Sehwa finally blurted out the question he had been silently accumulating.

Apart from the difficulty of speaking, his fingertips trembled as if in a spasm. Gi Taejeong had said he wouldn’t force anything anymore. From his perspective, he might be acting leniently. But Gi Taejeong’s current attitude felt like a threat to Sehwa, no different from usual.

“…Because they said they’d kill everyone, I came out, not hiding…”

Sehwa tore at the sleeve of his hospital gown in vain, trying to hide his constantly trembling voice. He had promised Gi Taejeong he wouldn’t defy him again, but on this issue, he couldn’t pretend to grovel.

“Even when they put a leash on my neck… and dragged me like a dog… I stayed still. Because if I didn’t… if I didn’t, the Brigadier General said he’d get rid of the child in District 4, and make him live like me…”

His mind was still a mess. Jumbled memories floated haphazardly, making it difficult to even properly arrange information.

Now, Sehwa was even vague about who he was and what exactly he had been. He didn’t know what emotions he was supposed to feel towards Gi Taejeong at a time like this, or conversely, what his own feelings should be, and how he should react to him. He had no energy, no will, no certainty to judge a good option. He knew nothing. His insides were truly parched. Empty, like barren land.

There were scenes that came to mind vividly. But whenever the unforgettable sight, Gi Taejeong’s voice from that time, suddenly overwhelmed him, Sehwa’s heart was newly cut each time, and he plummeted into a distant abyss each time. Those were days when blood poured and fever raged, and he just kept his head bowed endlessly.

But why was that person acting as if nothing had happened? If he belatedly confessed his true feelings, and only offered the excuse that Sehwa was his weakness, could the past all be erased? He still remembered the harsh words Gi Taejeong had thrown at him so vividly…

“So now I’m doing as the Brigadier General commands… I’m quietly by your side… But why… are you getting angry?”

It was true that he had run away because he couldn’t bear that Gi Taejeong had deceived him, and had played with him. But it wasn’t the Gi Taejeong of the past who had reduced Sehwa to someone who was nothing, no, not even a person, but just a breathing lump. It was the current Gi Taejeong who had made him that way.

“Anyway… you were the one who abandoned me, and… abandoned the child…”

“…What?”

Gi Taejeong, who had been listening silently to Sehwa’s words, opened his eyes wide in disbelief at the part about being abandoned.

“Lee Sehwa, who would go to such lengths to get back someone they abandoned?”

“……”

“At that time… I spoke harshly because I hated seeing you habitually try to self-harm, and it’s true that I’m still prioritizing your condition over the child’s when giving instructions. But…”

Gi Taejeong let out a hollow, deflated laugh, muttering repeatedly.

“Abandoned? I abandoned you?”

If Saessak, when he grew up a little, were to leave to find his other biological father, Sehwa would accept it willingly, even if it pained him.

He had seen enough of how much of a burden incompetent relatives were throughout their lives. Such people were the primary suckers who fed the House. He was confident he wouldn’t resent the child at all if he left him to live in a better environment.

However, that moment was not now. He would rather send Saessak to Oh Seonran than give him to Gi Taejeong. The child was the last, the only thing Sehwa was barely holding onto, the one thing that kept him from letting go of everything.

“…We had a bet… once, didn’t we?”

He hated his cracked voice, and his numb senses hadn’t fully returned, so he was still fumbling like an idiot… But once he opened his mouth, words flowed out quite comfortably. Perhaps it was due to the desperation of not wanting to lose even Saessak’s name to the man.

“Every time we helped each other, we’d get 1 point… The first one to reach 3 points… would win the bet.”

“No.”

Under the bright hallway lights, the various insignia dangling on Gi Taejeong’s chest glinted. The man, who finally seemed to anticipate something from Sehwa’s empty gaze, which was silently tracing him, simply refused outright.

“Why are you bringing that up now?”

“I, in the District 1 shelter… found the medicine Lieutenant Kim made, and successfully transported… the container with the medicine… to the end. And in the upcoming trial, I… I will testify. I’ll tell you everything Lieutenant Kim planned… So that’s 3 points, right?”

“Lee Se… No, Sehwa.”

“So… please give up your parental rights to the child. That’s… my only wish.”

“……”

Gi Taejeong seemed like a person who had forgotten how to breathe. He was so stiff that one might mistake him for a statue, not moving at all.

“You can… do whatever you want with me until you get tired of it, cough, that’s fine. I mean it. Whatever, whatever you’ve done until now, I’ve stayed silent, haven’t I?”

Saessak’s biological father was Gi Taejeong, and the parental rights also belonged to him. He had only now realized that there were areas that outsiders could not invade, no matter how much goodwill Oh Seonran showed.

Until now, Sehwa had only vaguely expected that he would have to show the child to Gi Taejeong whenever he wanted. But there were surprisingly many things that couldn’t be handled without the consent of the man with parental rights. Even now. He couldn’t even decide the child’s surname as he wished.

If he was destined to be dragged along until Gi Taejeong let go first, then… he wanted to secure the child’s future. He couldn’t start by losing the most basic things in this way.

“Even if not now… if you just promise to do so later, even in a little while…”

“……”

“No, or… what if we put a clause in the contract that, as compensation, I won’t refuse… and open my legs to the Brigadier General…?”

Gi Taejeong still said nothing. With his head bowed, it was hard to tell what expression he was making. He didn’t even run a hand through his hair or sigh, so his mood was unreadable. Only the bulging veins in his tightly clenched fists were faintly visible.

Sehwa, who repeatedly looked back and forth between the man’s body, which stood like an unbreakable fortress blocking him, and the opaque glass wall, finally took a slow step. He couldn’t see Saessak, and Gi Taejeong showed no intention of continuing the conversation, so he decided to go back and rest for now.

There was a pile of unread childcare books in the room. And as the nurse said, he couldn’t keep calling him Saessak, so he should think of a real name… He wondered if Gi Taejeong would pick out a script for him to recite in court if he wrote down what he heard from Lieutenant Kim and the situation at the House. Ah, perhaps he already knew everything.

His speech had somehow opened up, but his right ankle still wasn’t fully obeying him, so he was walking somewhat clumsily as he passed Gi Taejeong.

“I…”

Sehwa’s body jolted to a stop like a broken car. His wrist was suddenly grabbed from behind, preventing him from moving forward. The combined shadows of the two stretched long to the end of the protective room corridor.

“Lee Sehwa.”

“……”

“Sehwa.”

“……”

“Sehwa…”

Gi Taejeong suddenly approached and tightly embraced his waist. Snake-like hands, a body temperature as hot as fire, wrapped around Sehwa.

He repeated “I,” a few times, then fell silent. He buried his lips where Sehwa’s neck and shoulder met, remaining silent for a while.

“Dragging the child into it like that… that was my mistake.”

As the exposed skin became damp from his rough breaths, Gi Taejeong finally opened his mouth. The man’s low voice, as if drawn from deep within, resonated with a hum.

“I never abandoned you.”

They were so close that he could feel the man’s anxious, pounding heartbeat against his back. Gi Taejeong held Sehwa with his whole body and whispered in a fading voice.

“Why would… why would I abandon you?”