March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 109

General Oh Seonran? Sehwa involuntarily stared at Gi Taejeong’s watch. He belatedly thought he might have offended him and awkwardly lowered his head, but Gi Taejeong didn’t scold him at all. He didn’t sharpen his tone about taking medicine like before. He just,

“Just add more security personnel and let him in.”

He indifferently gave instructions to Second Lieutenant Park and helped Sehwa up from the cold floor onto the bed.

• But Brigadier General,

“It won’t benefit us to show animosity towards someone who has already drawn a line with Lieutenant Colonel Kim and come all this way.”

• …Yes, understood.

As Second Lieutenant Park’s voice cut off, the sounds of people busily moving around could be heard. Perhaps the room was so deathly quiet that the commotion outside seemed louder.

Gi Taejeong abruptly picked up Sehwa and sat him on the bed. It happened so fast that he had no time to refuse.

“I asked why you weren’t taking your medicine.”

And surprisingly, it wasn’t a reproach or scolding for welcoming someone else instead of him, but a continued interrogation about why he refused the medicine. Although an overbearing aura still dripped from him, considering Gi Taejeong’s usual temper, the direction of the question was somewhat unexpected.

“If something’s bothering you, you need to tell me so I can change it.”

“……”

“I didn’t force-feed you with a spoon, nor did I shove expensive gifts at you, did I?”

“……”

“Didn’t you want to get better quickly? So you could…”

Take care of the child you loved so much.

Gi Taejeong, who had intended to simply coax Sehwa without thinking deeply, realized his mistake a beat too late. He was trying to use the child again. He had absolutely no intention of cornering him. He wasn’t trying to threaten him like at the harbor, but Sehwa must have found it threatening enough.

But Sehwa didn’t reply. Even though he had immediately shut his mouth, Sehwa could surely infer what he had been trying to say. It was as if the time he had cried and raged, asking if it wasn’t his child too, was a lie.

“…Lee Sehwa.”

Gi Taejeong, frustrated, pulled a stool near the bed and sat in front of Sehwa. They were so close that his shins brushed against Gi Taejeong’s body. Unable to escape the man who filled his entire vision, Sehwa rounded his back.

“I’m not trying to get angry.”

“……”

“…It’s true that I treated you lightly at first, and it’s true I treated you as Lieutenant Kim’s accomplice. No, even if that wasn’t the case… I’ve never been serious with anyone. Saying I’d take responsibility? I’ve never even joked about it.”

These were words he had been suppressing internally, trying to gauge the atmosphere. He had been choosing his words carefully, not wanting to blurt them out crudely, but he felt he couldn’t put it off any longer. The timing had already been off several times. If the rift deepened further here, what good would a perfectly refined confession do?

Would anything change if he said this now? He wasn’t sure. He had vowed to tell Sehwa his true feelings until Sehwa accepted them, once he was fully lucid, but now, Sehwa was refusing even beneficial medicine that he was offering.

However, there was nothing else he could do in this situation. He had to do something to move that face, which was stiff as if wearing a mask.

It was the first time. Engaging in a battle where he couldn’t be sure of victory, and even thinking that it wouldn’t matter if he lost…

He didn’t care what happened, he just wanted Sehwa to react. Instead of just staring blankly with that desolate face, he would rather he cried or got angry.

“Yes, it’s true I treated you harshly sometimes… but you already know that.”

Gi Taejeong gently placed his hand over Sehwa’s.

“That you’ve become my only exception.”

“……”

“The video thing… it’s a misunderstanding. It’s true I hugged you knowing there was CCTV, but I never installed equipment to find your weaknesses.”

However… on this topic, he could only tell half-truths. He wasn’t trying to just deceive Sehwa to make himself feel better this time either. If Sehwa knew, he would probably see it as an excuse, but he didn’t want to shock someone who was so fragile they couldn’t even speak because they had closed off their heart. He felt it wouldn’t be right.

It’s true I once thought that if there was a record of you enjoying sex with me, no one could fault it was forced. But as Lee Sehwa had urgently explained just before collapsing, installing CCTV was a basic procedure when occupying facilities. It was merely putting the entire house under surveillance in case Lieutenant Kim’s people made any suspicious moves. It wasn’t a strategy planned to target Sehwa from the beginning.

The fact that he was the only one who knew about and could access this server probably wouldn’t matter to Sehwa.

“So I…”

Ah. Gi Taejeong swallowed a groan, closing his eyes deeply then opening them. He felt trapped in a maze with no exit.

He couldn’t casually deceive Sehwa as before, and coercion was even more impossible. Even if he wanted to tell the truth, Sehwa now looked so fragile, as if he would break if touched, that he couldn’t be honest recklessly.

The casual lies he had uttered in the past had, against Gi Taejeong’s will, snowballed on their own, and were now rolling down a slope uncontrollably.

“Lee Sehwa. I’m only weak for you.”

“……”

“So much so that I’m practically living in this hospital, even though I know it’s like screaming to everyone that you’re my weakness.”

“……”

“You’ve become the weakness of a monster like me, who couldn’t be killed by guns, knives, or any poison.”

For Gi Taejeong, it was a confession with all his cards on the table. He had chosen the words carefully, thinking that conventional expressions like “I’m sorry” or “I love you” wouldn’t feel sincere. He had also casually blurted out “Yes, I like you” while mocking Lee Sehwa in the bunker before, so he preferred not to say that again.

Most of all, Gi Taejeong loved the moments when Sehwa conveyed his feelings profoundly without saying “I love you.” Like when he asked if he could call his name, or when he smiled brightly, saying he was glad his hole didn’t look like a rag to the Brigadier General… Lee Sehwa would whisper his feelings in a language only he could interpret, and each time, Gi Taejeong would feel an indescribable sense of fulfillment.

So he had tried to follow Sehwa’s method in his own way. He believed that Lee Sehwa would understand how much it meant to him to say that he was the weakness of a man who couldn’t be killed.

But he remained silent. Even after revealing all his inner thoughts, he had a tired look on his face, waiting for the next words. As if he didn’t believe that he would just say nice things and end the conversation. He seemed to think that Gi Taejeong was about to attach some condition to torment him.

“……”

Gi Taejeong merely parted his lips. He felt petty for thinking this way, but he too had tried to make Sehwa take his medicine because he wanted him to prioritize his health. Of course, he had intended to take him to that special exhibition.

However, Sehwa was only listening to Oh Seonran’s voice. The difficult confession that nothing but you can kill me, and the promise that I can do anything for you… he had told him just minutes ago, but Sehwa acted as if he knew nothing of it.

“You said you didn’t want to trust anyone anymore when we talked before.”

“……”

“I understand completely. A father’s friend who belatedly throws money around to ease his conscience, just an acquaintance… Please think of me only as that. You live relying only on your child. Understood?”

“General Oh Seonran.”

Gi Taejeong, feeling as if he couldn’t bear it anymore, called out to General Oh Seonran.

“Let’s talk outside for a moment.”