March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 105

Sehwa wrinkled his eyes slightly, tilting one shoulder as if he had bitten something sour. The expression ‘wrong’ seemed a little embarrassing. After a moment,

“Ah…”

He then subtly furrowed his brow, as if remembering something.

“That word just now…”

It was a greeting filled with completely different emotions than the first time, but the repeated phrase seemed to have triggered something.

“Do you remember anything?”

Gi Taejeong, who was about to approach Sehwa, flinched for a moment and, clenching his fists, took another step back. He was doing it again. His concern that his words and actions might trigger something in Sehwa’s unconscious was meaningless; his greed just took over and made him act arbitrarily.

“…If you’re uncomfortable, don’t hold it in and tell me. You had a major surgery.”

“Surgery?”

A flustered Sehwa fumbled over various parts of his body. Since he couldn’t remember anything immediately, he did that for a long time, frustrated, then tugged at the loose sleeve of his patient gown and looked at the hospital name.

“…Oh.”

“Why?”

“Now that I see this, I suddenly remembered something I shouldn’t forget.”

Sehwa’s face looked somewhat heavy, saying that only the sensation of something he should never forget, something precious, remained.

“On this side, it’s like they’re splashing white paint to make me forget everything… and on the other side, it’s like they’re trying to force me to see something, asking how I could forget everything…”

Sehwa alternately pointed to both temples with his index finger. Then he dropped his hand and muttered gloomily.

“What was it…”

His lowered gaze fell to his feet. Gi Taejeong hesitated for a moment, then chose the most tender tone he could produce.

“Just rest for now. You were very sick even before the surgery.”

“Ah, yes.”

However, what came back was a surprisingly simple comment.

Gi Taejeong realized from that unfamiliar attitude that Sehwa had truly forgotten him. Normally, he would have blushed and been moved. Moreover, from the beginning until now, Lee Sehwa had never answered so briefly while under his control. He wasn’t just surprised by the short answer. It was because he clearly felt that he had been classified as a stranger in Sehwa’s mind, someone he didn’t need to answer sincerely.

He had wondered how he had climbed to such a position when his true feelings were so easily read, even when he tried to hide them… It was a misunderstanding. Everything was visible because Lee Sehwa allowed it. First, because he was afraid of him, and later, because he gave his whole heart.

“Lee Sehwa.”

“…Yes?”

“You’re not twenty, you’re twenty-one…”

Gi Taejeong added, as if possessed. In his calm and indifferent eyes, he saw himself standing like a stranger.

“You’ve been through a lot of pain because of me. Because I… deceived you and used you.”

“……”

“…There were several opportunities to tell you the truth, but…”

Because I liked that you liked me.

Because I liked you too.

I lied because I was afraid your eyes, which looked at me with adoration, would change.

However, Gi Taejeong swallowed the words that were about to follow and turned his gaze away. What good would such a story do now? The person who needed to hear this excuse was not the one in front of him, but the Lee Sehwa who had let go of him just before collapsing.

“It’s… a bit bewildering. There’s no one who hasn’t deceived and used me, but you’re the first one to apologize for it.”

Sehwa fiddled with his innocent sleeve, as if unsure how to react.

“…I’m telling you this for the first time. Before, I intended to hide it until the end. Because I thought that was easier.”

“Well… at least you’re telling me now.”

His hands, clasped behind his back, twitched greatly. Even though he knew that an answer of “it’s okay” was useless from the current Sehwa, Gi Taejeong felt a momentary relief, as if he had grabbed a lifeline.

“So… this is how we start?”

“I guess… so?”

If I keep apologizing by your side, saying I’m sorry, I was sorry. If I keep saying that until your heart melts. Then can we go back to how we were before? At that time when we could go grocery shopping together, worry about what to do with the baby in the future, and fall asleep hugging each other tightly, again.

“Uh… I’m sorry. I suddenly feel a little sleepy.”

“Ah, oh… Rest.”

Sehwa, seemingly flustered by the sudden drowsiness, rubbed his forehead repeatedly and lay down on the bed. How to put it. It was less like falling asleep and more like collapsing, as if his battery had run out and the power had been cut.

Gi Taejeong hesitated several times, then finally reached out his hand. He tucked in the blanket properly and checked the IV bag.

It would be a problem if Sehwa’s memory didn’t return, and it would also be a problem if it did. Of course, even if Sehwa regained consciousness tomorrow, he wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes as before. He wanted to make him feel a different beginning, even for just one day.

But that, too, was ultimately just self-satisfaction for treating someone who almost died well, belatedly. If Sehwa, whose memory returned, considered this moment a greater deception… then how would he deal with it then?

Gi Taejeong sat on the stool next to the bed, gazing at Sehwa’s thin back, then slowly leaned his body and buried his face in the sheet.

F*ck, I don’t know anything.

When Lee Sehwa ran away, even harming his own body, all he could think of was catching him and tying him up. But he never actually acted on it. He couldn’t put the collar he had hung on the bed on him, nor could he put it away.

Then, when Lee Sehwa fainted after hearing a misunderstanding… no, to be honest, it wasn’t a complete misunderstanding… and when he heard that he could die because of it, he truly lost his mind.

He didn’t want to lose Sehwa like this. He vowed that if he woke up safely, he wouldn’t make him cry like this again, at least.

He wanted to do something… but the words and actions to fill that ‘something’ just wouldn’t come to mind. He had never learned such a strategy anywhere. He hadn’t been taught.

Gi Taejeong slowly closed his eyes. He felt like a giant from an ancient myth, burdened with an endless punishment.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the test results showed no abnormalities. His brain and surgical site were all fine. There was no damage or bleeding, so there was nothing to do but hope for his condition to improve.

Sehwa kept dozing off. And every time he closed and opened his eyes, he was tormented by unfamiliar memories that surged up. When he first regained consciousness, he thought it was the first month of his twentieth year, then a few days ago, he muttered that spring was difficult to pay the monthly fee, and then suddenly he listed things he had to do when summer came. To put it simply, he said it felt like someone he didn’t know was tearing up a calendar in his head at random.

Yesterday, he was curled up in bed, diligently writing something, and when he peeked, he saw him scribbling down all the drug manufacturing methods that came to mind in shaky handwriting. He said it would be a big problem if he forgot even this, as he still had a long way to go to pay off his debt.

Having erased all resentment towards him and even the child he cherished, he only knew himself as Samwol of the house. Other than that, he tried to recall only things related to drugs, as if he had no other value.

And in that context, Gi Taejeong was now convinced that Sehwa’s memories from his twenty-year-old self were not even intact. He knew he was the house manager, a hanafuda player, and mainly handled drug distribution, but he couldn’t recall anything beyond that. For example, things related to Kim Seok-cheol.

He knew that he had been dealing with Lieutenant Kim at the time, but he didn’t even mention it, as if he had completely forgotten. Even when he tried to bring up related topics unconsciously, he would quickly stop and tilt his head.

“You’re here.”

As he entered the room, Sehwa greeted him with a face that looked even more tired than in the morning.

“…Oh, I’m back.”

Gi Taejeong nodded slowly. If there was one major difference since Sehwa lost his memory, it would be this exchange of greetings.

A few days ago, when an unsolvable problem arose in the hospital room and he was preparing to step outside for a moment, Sehwa, in a nonchalant voice, told him to have a good trip. Gi Taejeong, who had stiffened as if struck by lightning at those words, awkwardly replied that he would be back.

The trivial and ordinary greetings gradually grew in size. The next day, Sehwa subtly asked if anything was wrong, and Gi Taejeong explained that he had documents to approve at the office.

Thinking about it, Sehwa never asked anything. He was always sluggish in the morning due to being exhausted from their late-night lovemaking, and he would leave Sehwa like that and go about his business. If he had urgent matters, he would even be away for several days without saying a word.

Whether at the house or the official residence, he had never thought of giving Sehwa a simple heads-up. He knew that Sehwa had nothing to do but wait for him, no, he honestly enjoyed seeing that submissive face looking only at him.

Gi Taejeong wondered if Sehwa had set his own mind on fire to make him realize this. What I wanted from you wasn’t expensive luxuries piled up like a mountain, but just these small things, a single honest word…

“Are you feeling unwell?”

When he cautiously asked, noticing how unusually weak he looked, Sehwa only blinked blankly.

“…I don’t know.”

Weariness emanated from his lowered profile. Sehwa was fiercely fighting with himself even at this moment.

“It’s a good thing I bought it.”

When he held out the gift he had been hiding behind his back, Sehwa looked puzzled.

“It’s something you liked.”

Seeing the small cake box with blue and pink clouds drawn on it, a faint sparkle appeared in his eyes.

Actually, he wanted to give him a grander gift. But no matter how much he thought about it, all Sehwa had liked were things like cake or pieces of fruit. A check card with a large sum, expensive clothes, accessories… none of them moved him. No, he would even cry, overwhelmed.

“Wow…”

As expected, Sehwa let out a small gasp when he saw the cherry cake thickly covered with light pink cream.

“Thank you.”

He found a fork and offered it to him, but Sehwa just stared at it for a long time, as if it was too precious to eat. Then, as if something occurred to him, he quickly turned to Gi Taejeong.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Oh, no, it’s not that…”

“Speak freely. Anything.”

“Hmm… Anyway, I don’t think the General would know, but…”

“What is it?”

“Did a player named Saessak join the house in the past year?”

Gi Taejeong, who was about to sit on the stool, froze for a moment. Saessak. His jaw muscles stiffened rigidly at the sudden, overwhelming call, and he couldn’t speak.

“That sentence just floats around in my head out of nowhere. ‘I want to give this to Saessak.’”

“……”

“The only people I know are the house players or the guests… but usually, players aren’t named things like Saessak, so it’s a bit strange.”

“…Oh, really?”

“Of course. If a low-ranking player had a nickname like that, they wouldn’t get any business.”

Such a nickname. Gi Taejeong felt as if he had been punched hard by Sehwa’s voice, which coldly evaluated the name Saessak.

“Maybe that’s why I feel like I shouldn’t eat it.”

Sehwa only poked the cream decoration with his fork.

“Did Saessak… want to eat this?”

“I don’t know? I can’t remember who that person is, so I can’t think of that. It’s just…”

“……”

“Ah, to be more precise… um, I wanted to tell them. Yes… that seems to be it.”

“……”

“I want Saessak to experience what this tastes like. …That’s the strongest feeling I have right now.”

Anyway, it meant he wanted to eat this when he was pregnant… Did he crave a cherry-flavored cake, not cherries themselves? But why didn’t he say anything? He ate only fresh fruit without complaint, so he had no idea.

Even if he ignored the time he ran away to Zone 2, before that… after they kissed in the solarium in the office, he thought they had become quite close. He also believed he was showing his changed feelings to Sehwa without reservation.

“…You truly had no expectations of me.”

“Huh?”

I’m not asking you to fillet someone, and what’s so hard about buying food? And even if you wanted someone filleted, I told you to just say it. Did you think I wouldn’t go to that much trouble for you? Even when you were smiling brightest by my side?

“General?”

Gi Taejeong couldn’t bear it and tightly gripped Sehwa’s hand. As if that was his only lifeline, he bowed his broad shoulders and carefully brought his forehead to it.

“I just saw it again.”

“……”

“It definitely wasn’t a mismatched eye.”

“…What?”

How many more hidden stories of yours, which I don’t know about, which I missed, are left? Will I ever get a chance to know them all?

“General?”

Lee Sehwa.

I’m sorry.

Gi Taejeong repeatedly tried the unfamiliar phrase on his tongue. He practiced the confession he couldn’t make, cowardly relying on the twenty-year-old Lee Sehwa who had told him that it was okay if he said it now, and to keep trying. This is how it works, right, from now on too.

“…I’ll tell you countless times from now on. Until you’re okay, continuously.”

So, please come back now.

Come back and listen.

Don’t let that terrible moment be your last memory.

“She gave birth to a child? Isn’t it earlier than expected?”

Lieutenant Colonel Kim swept his philtrum with his thumb and forefinger, scanning the hologram displayed on the monitor.

“So, Oh Seonran is moving busily? Because the legal guardian is gone?”

“Yes. The adoption has been confirmed, and she is currently proceeding with the procedure to change the residence.”

“What? Change residence? Where?”

“Isn’t she trying to incorporate him into Zone 5?”

Huh, he let out a scoff of disbelief. After this matter is resolved, he should suggest reorganizing the zones. He didn’t care if those commoners lived and squabbled among themselves outside the zones, but he couldn’t let them step on Zone 5 land.

“Anyway, that’s good. Submit the subpoena. She gave birth to a child, so there’s no excuse to refuse now, is there?”

“That’s true, but… Gi Taejeong and General Oh Seonran, would they really be obedient…”

“Gi Taejeong, that lone wolf, was the troublesome one. If Oh Seonran steps up as Lee Sehwa’s shield, it will actually make things easier.”

Lieutenant Colonel Kim waved his hand, making the hologram disappear, and leaned back deeply into the chair. His short legs, propped up on the desk, swung merrily.

“What do you think our great Head of State would think if a general-ranked officer like Oh Seonran prevented a civilian from appearing as a witness in court, claiming he’s her blood relative?”

“Ah… He might take it as a challenge to his authority.”

“Exactly, that’s it.”

The old dictator would pathologically lash out if a high-ranking official showed even the slightest hint of disloyalty. He had allowed Oh Seonran to stay abroad because of an unspoken promise to prevent officers from colluding. The fact that Oh Seonran had refused marriage and had no children also worked in her favor. She wouldn’t form connections with others and help each other out.

But now, Oh Seonran suddenly brought in some lowlife as an adopted son and was acting as if she would give him her liver and gall. Moreover, rumors said that the commoner’s parents were also related to a chemical experiment conducted about 20 years ago.

That experiment was a failure the ruler wanted to erase and a disgrace everyone kept quiet about. But would he really look favorably upon someone related to it being brought in as a successor and wielding power as a shield? Lieutenant Colonel Kim was willing to bet a large sum that Oh Seonran would eventually have to take off her military uniform.

“It’s strange if it doesn’t offend the old man’s sensibilities. Anyway, from now on, shift the focus there. Lieutenant Park was also accused and stood trial in a military court, so it’s absurd for a civilian to refuse to appear as a witness just because he’s the General’s adopted son.”

“Yes, understood.”

Lieutenant Colonel Kim nodded his oily face and smiled broadly. Anyway, it was just a nominal trial. If he played his cards right, he might even be able to use that commoner to break the power of both Gi Taejeong and Oh Seonran. If he swayed public opinion, it wouldn’t be difficult to turn the witness stand for Lee Sehwa into an interrogation.

“I didn’t expect it to go this way, but it will be a good example anyway.”

The saying “a blessing in disguise” wasn’t for nothing. This time, he would get rid of the annoying ones and clearly show that those who rebelled against his family would not end well.

“Framing Lee Sehwa as the true culprit is the best option, but if the atmosphere doesn’t allow it, let’s frame him as an accomplice. We have enough chances for that, don’t we?”

“That’s right. That much will be no problem at all.”

“Good. It will be hard to get a death sentence, but we just need to get him locked up somehow.”

Well… it was quite common for an inmate to die in an unfortunate accident in prison.