March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 101

“The baby’s heart is beating too slowly… and it’s not moving much either.”

“…”

“If we do it in this situation… that is, if you insert it, it definitely won’t be able to bear it. The new, no, the baby will surely be seriously hurt.”

His hands, respectfully placed on the sheet, were convulsing without cease. He didn’t seem to have trembled this much even when he first heard about having a child. Even when he cried and suffered to the point of fainting, Lee Sehwa then looked him straight in the eye and demanded if he hadn’t known what he was doing all along.

But now, he seemed to lack even the energy for that. More than simply being in poor physical condition, he looked as if all capacity to express emotions to anyone had vanished.

If he just lifted his eyes a little, he would see that Gi Taejeong wasn’t angry… but Lee Sehwa bowed his head deeply and repeatedly begged for forgiveness, counting sins he hadn’t committed.

“If you find it hard to believe… should I write a contract?”

“A contract?”

A hollow laugh escaped him in disbelief. He had been burdened with endless debt because of that damned contract, and yet Lee Sehwa was eagerly pressing for such an unfair deal. He clearly didn’t know what he was saying.

“If the baby is safe, I’ll do anything afterward. Use me as you please.”

Comfortably, as much as you want. Lee Sehwa spoke as if his body was a tool.

“And, ah… Brigadier General…!”

Gi Taejeong reached out and finally pulled Lee Sehwa into an embrace. Then he slowly opened and closed his eyes several times. Still, the burning sensation behind his eyeballs wouldn’t subside, so he stared at the ceiling for a long time. His head was throbbing from not having slept properly, and now hearing unexpected things from Lee Sehwa made it ache even more.

Had he said the fetus’s movements were sluggish? In contrast, Sehwa’s heart, pressed against him, was beating excessively fast. To a dangerously fast degree. His face, consumed by fear, was pale as if powdered with flour, and the skin in his hands held no warmth.

“No.”

“…”

“I wasn’t trying to have sex, I just…”

Gi Taejeong’s throat strangely stung, and he had to swallow several times before he could continue speaking.

“I just wanted to hold you.”

However, Sehwa didn’t believe Gi Taejeong’s excuse that he had merely wanted to hold him close and sleep as before. He just mumbled and trailed off, saying “contract.” As if the only thing he was curious about was whether they would have sex now or not.

“…Alright, I won’t.”

“Then… definitely a contract,”

“You’ve been rolling around at the bottom all this time because of that damned piece of paper, and you want to write something like that again?”

“But…”

At the blunt reprimand, Sehwa shrank back even smaller. His stiff, hunched shoulders refused to straighten.

“…Then should I do it with my hands?”

After hesitating several times, Sehwa finally managed to ask, and a sigh, as if boiling from deep within, involuntarily escaped Gi Taejeong.

Gi Taejeong snatched the back of Sehwa’s pale neck and pulled him close, burying his head in Sehwa’s crown. He could touch him like this, Lee Sehwa was clearly in his arms… yet, no matter how hard he tried, the person he held greedily in his hands felt like sand slipping through his fingers.

Gi Taejeong seemed extremely busy. The problem was, he showed no intention of leaving the bedroom despite that.

A small table and chair were placed in the room that had only contained a bed. And that became the man’s makeshift office. Not only Lieutenant Park, but also Sergeant Major Choi, Lieutenant Na… even people he hadn’t met yet came to him with tablets. Discussions mainly revolved around routine military duties, such as the introduction of new weapons or training methods.

Sehwa subtly lowered the blanket that covered his entire face to observe the man’s movements. In the hologram that appeared, tiny dots were busily flying around. He probably thought Gi Taejeong was observing aircraft, since he was in the air force.

Sehwa glanced, then took a little more courage and pulled the blanket down to his chest. Since he woke up, he had been continuously stroking his belly. Lieutenant Na had said that staying in the same position was not good, so he decided to sit up for a while. Anyway, Gi Taejeong was busy, so he probably wouldn’t have time to pay attention to him…

“Are you not feeling well?”

He thought he had moved quietly, but Gi Taejeong suddenly spoke, startling him so much that his shoulders flinched violently. He twisted his body so much that the sheets rustled loudly.

“…”

Sehwa lowered his eyes, in an awkward position, neither lying nor sitting. He expected to be scolded for his appearance, but Gi Taejeong remained silent for quite some time.

Sehwa, after contemplating, carefully massaged his neck, which had been bent for a long time, and subtly rolled his eyes. The man was focused on his tablet screen again. He sighed through his nose, as if displeased with something, and even closed and opened his eyes after sweeping back his bangs.

He must be very busy. That’s a relief. Sehwa moved even more carefully than before. This time, Gi Taejeong also didn’t acknowledge him and just quietly went about his business.

Yesterday… nothing happened. Gi Taejeong said he hadn’t intended to force sex. Then, as if he had something important to say, he kept clearing his throat and hesitated for a long time. His uncharacteristic expression and voice were so striking that Sehwa, though he calmed down belatedly, still didn’t let his guard down.

It would be great if he really would write a contract… But he had coldly snapped at him to talk sense, so Sehwa couldn’t press him further.

And then he fell asleep, embraced by Gi Taejeong. Fortunately, the window had been left open, so he wasn’t completely enveloped by the man’s scent, and by the time the morning sun rose, he was definitely able to get some sleep. Contrary to Sehwa’s feelings, his body, without any will of its own, habitually melted into the man’s arms.

“Brigadier General.”

Unlike before, when he would enter and exit without hesitation for work reports, Sergeant Major Choi now asked from outside the room if he could enter. Sehwa, who had tried to ignore them, also tilted his head, wondering what was going on.

“Ah, I’ll do it.”

Gi Taejeong checked his wristwatch with a glance, then opened the door and received something from Sergeant Major Choi. It was a small tray with a simple meal.

“Eat.”

Holding the tray with one hand, Gi Taejeong gestured to the chair opposite him.

“Ah… I…”

Sehwa was at a loss. He was already so self-conscious just from changing his posture… and now he was supposed to eat in front of Gi Taejeong? He had barely managed to swallow anything Sergeant Major Choi had brought yesterday… Could he really endure the man’s intense gaze?

“Will you eat in bed?”

It seems uncomfortable, Gi Taejeong said, and strode towards him. He pondered for a moment, saying “Hmm,” then plopped down beside him. He folded his long legs and placed the tray on them.

The meal was similar to yesterday’s. Lightly seasoned gruel, warm water… and something white and fluffy he hadn’t seen before.

“It can’t be helped. All your favorite foods are cold.”

Gi Taejeong, perhaps thinking his hesitation was just fussing about the side dishes, lifted the corners of his mouth ambiguously and handed him a spoon.

“…”

“You need to take your medicine.”

Sehwa, who had been hesitant, started moving his hand mechanically as if a button had been pressed the moment he heard those words. Yes, he had to take his medicine.

He barely swallowed a spoonful of gruel, thinking of Saessak. But his exhausted body couldn’t follow his will, and even though he ate it in several small portions, his throat already felt completely blocked.

“I… don’t really want to eat right now…”

“It’s already past time for your medicine.”

“…I know, but…”

“Then eat it even if you don’t want to. That way, both you and the baby will be fine.”

He knew that better than anyone. He intended to eat somehow, for Saessak’s stability. But he felt like he couldn’t swallow anything while facing Gi Taejeong like this.

“Just a little later…”

Gi Taejeong, perhaps frustrated by his constant dawdling, snatched the spoon and scooped up a generous amount of gruel.

“You didn’t even eat half a bowl yesterday. And now you’re giving up without even eating a spoonful.”

The spoon, now close, tapped his dry lips. Reluctantly, Sehwa hesitated several times before finally opening his mouth.

He didn’t want to raise his voice with Gi Taejeong over just eating a little food. He was also afraid that the man might change his mind and tell him to take off his clothes immediately, or say something bad to the baby.

“It’ll taste roughly like pudding.”

Gi Taejeong’s voice, as he explained the food he had brought, had a strange hint of excitement, as if he was pleased with Sehwa’s compliant attitude.

“They said to avoid cold foods, whether fruit or anything else, for a while. So eat this for now.”

He tapped the small bowl with the tip of his spoon, and the fluffy, warm contents inside trembled. He didn’t know what it was, but the sweet scent of banana and custard cream wafted gently.

“Finish at least half the gruel. Then I’ll let you have dessert.”

It looked pretty and smelled good, but he was thinking it would be hard to eat anything, whatever it was, when Gi Taejeong seemed to have misunderstood that he was staring at it because he wanted to eat it.

Gi Taejeong scooped up another large spoonful of gruel and offered it. His thick eyebrows, which had been fiercely furrowed, had now softened.

Sehwa took a deep breath, as if about to dive underwater. Saessak was sick. He didn’t want to see the baby limp like yesterday. To prevent that, he had to take his medicine as this man said, and eat a little more food…

“…Ugh!”

He had to eat, but…

Sehwa pushed Gi Taejeong’s hand away and scrambled backward on the bed. A sour and bitter taste mixed chaotically in his mouth. A nauseating and stinging sensation of something rising up his esophagus surged through him.

In the end, he couldn’t even make it into the bathroom and vomited everything right at the entrance. His gasping breaths, and occasional retching sounds, echoed through the dry bedroom.

What expression had Gi Taejeong made, seeing the spoon fall onto the mattress and the tray messed up by his pushing hand? What had his face, his eyes, been like at the moment he covered his mouth, looking so hideous?

“…Ugh.”

He knew he had to clean it all up, but he didn’t have the strength to lift a finger. His hand, resting on the door, slid down, and Sehwa just slumped to the floor. His scalp tingled from the gaze pouring down on him.

After a long silence, he heard rustling from behind. It seemed Gi Taejeong was personally clearing the dishes and stripping the soiled sheets. He also seemed to be giving instructions to Lieutenant Na.

Medicine… I have to take it…

Sehwa, Lee Sehwa. The tone calling his name was familiar, but he still thought it couldn’t be Gi Taejeong. That person wouldn’t call him with such concern. Sehwa leaned his head against the doorframe and closed his eyes. He was disgusted by his own foolish expectation, imagining and hearing what he wanted to hear even in this state.