March Novel (Completed) - Chapter 100

A warm breeze gently blew through the open window. The sky was remarkably clear, even at night. The long, trailing gray clouds, like spilled syrup, flowed by, and the moon, floating like a tiny fingernail, was clearly visible. The summer night in the 5th Star was so picturesque, even the sound of insects chirping was poetic.

Sehwa sat leaning against the headboard, continuously staring at the new hologram of Saessak he had received today. It was one ultrasound image, much grown since he last saw it but still like a kidney bean, and one growth prediction image, still strikingly similar to himself.

Saessak’s heart always beats vigorously. He loved the sound of it pounding quickly, as if eager to grow. Every time he looked at the tiny body, less than a span long, diligently rounding itself, striving to take on a human form… he honestly couldn’t bear how much he loved it.

At first, he said he would erase it, and later, he would always deny it, saying he didn’t know, but in truth, from the moment he first heard that fragile heartbeat, his whole heart had been stolen by Saessak. He only wanted to cherish him, to the point where he felt sorry for admitting it now.

But Saessak’s appearance in the hologram taken today was utterly pathetic. He couldn’t believe the slow, melancholic pulsation, and at first, he thought the machine was broken.

Saessak showed almost no movement. The baby in the growth prediction image also had lost its rosy complexion and kept its eyes tightly shut.

Lieutenant Na, who had examined him, couldn’t even offer empty words of comfort and just told him to rest well. Was it fortunate that there were still no signs of miscarriage?

After that, Sehwa just kept stroking his belly endlessly. He felt too sorry to even call out “Saessak.” He worried that he might be bothering the baby, who was tired and wanted to rest, without realizing it.

As he sat there like a still life, Sergeant Major Choi would automatically bring him meals. Naturally, nothing appealed to him. No, everything he thought of made him nauseous. It wasn’t stubborn refusal; he truly had no appetite whatsoever.

If it weren’t for Sergeant Major Choi’s earnest plea that he needed to eat something for the medicine to work and for the baby in his womb to be healthy, he would have simply starved.

After vomiting several times and barely swallowing a few spoonfuls of gruel, and taking one permitted dose of medicine… Sehwa remained alone, blankly, until night came. On the wide bed where several people could lie comfortably, only an unlocked collar lay beside him.

In the center of the custom-made bed’s headboard, a menacing black stake was driven in, and the chain hanging from its end was connected to the collar Sehwa had been wearing.

Yesterday, when he had hastily put it around his neck without properly checking, he thought it was very heavy. But when he actually saw it with his own eyes, it was thinner than he thought and not that heavy.

He still didn’t know what material it was. It didn’t seem to be iron… Anyway, it clearly felt like it had been crafted with considerable effort. It was almost possible to insist it was an ordinary necklace, if not for the large loop at the back. Even the long, trailing chain looked beautiful on the surface.

But Gi Taejeong used this glittering object like a dog leash. He fastened the lock in front of people and literally dragged him around like a dog. In such a situation, what did the appearance or value of this object matter? He was nothing but a mere animal to Gi Taejeong, not a human.

Sehwa gazed at the necklace for a moment, then quickly lost interest and rested his forehead on his drawn-up knees.

Last night, when he briefly regained consciousness, he was dumbfounded to see that a chain had even been attached, but amusingly, when he woke up again after another nap, all restraints were gone. He felt around beside him in surprise, but there were no traces of anyone having been there. It seemed someone had just come in while he was asleep, loosened the collar around his neck, and then left in a huff.

What on earth was it? Putting such a terrible thing around his neck, then secretly coming in while he slept to loosen it. And yet, not completely removing those terrifying stakes and objects…

Sehwa wiggled his right foot, which was still uncomfortable. Still, thanks to good medicine, his condition was improving. However, as Lieutenant Na had warned, only his body had recovered, but his mind still stumbled, unsure of which way to go.

Even though he had been dragged here, he had resolved not to comply meekly. He had vowed to do something worse than coercing Gi Taejeong to take sleeping pills, given the chance. But… the moment he mentioned Saessak, all his motivation vanished.

Instead, problems he had never considered before flooded his mind. He had forgotten, but Gi Taejeong was, after all, Saessak’s biological father. Even if he were adopted by General Oh Seonran, Gi Taejeong’s parental rights wouldn’t disappear. Even after the trial was over, if things went wrong, he could still take Saessak away from him.

If he were to actually stick Saessak in the 4th District and make him flounder at the bottom, just as he had… then what should he do?

He was tracing the knots of the bandage with his eyes, lost in unanswered worries, when suddenly the doorknob rattled. Sehwa instinctively flinched. Given the time of day… the only person who could open the door to such a private space so carelessly would naturally be the owner of this residence.

“…”

Indeed, the large shadow cast in the doorway was so familiar he felt he could draw it with his eyes closed. The shape of his swept-back hair, the silhouette of his clothes… by now, everything about the man had become excessively natural to Sehwa.

Gi Taejeong stood still for a moment, his hand resting on the doorframe. Perhaps because the sensor light in the hallway was behind him, the man’s figure felt even more threatening today. The bedroom was terrifyingly silent, and so even the smallest breath he exhaled echoed vividly whenever he moved his lips as if to speak.

After some time, Gi Taejeong then walked unhesitatingly, as if nothing had happened. As if his hesitation a moment ago was a mistake, as if he didn’t care about Sehwa’s presence at all, he headed straight for the bathroom attached to the bedroom.

Only after hearing the heavy uniform thudding to the floor, and the sound of water hitting the tiles, did Sehwa fully come to his senses.

There must be a reason he was confined to the bedroom, not a warehouse. Why would he, the man who had given him strong sleeping pills and run away, allow him to rest comfortably on a good bed? It was obvious; Gi Taejeong would embrace him after he showered. He was ashamed of himself for only realizing this now.

“…Ah.”

Sehwa cupped his hands and gasped for breath. Even though it was just a sigh, his throat felt stiff and burning, as if it had been parched from speaking for the first time today. But this pain was nothing compared to what Gi Taejeong was about to do.

Before, he hadn’t forced penetrative sex, claiming it was for Sehwa’s body, but now the situation was different. Gi Taejeong wanted to hurt him. Now that everything was exposed, there was no need for unnecessary pretense… this time, he might even force penetration. He would put a leash on him like a dog and fully release his pent-up desires.

He’d rather be beaten. As long as he didn’t kick his stomach, he didn’t care if his wrists or ankles were broken again, but… Gi Taejeong knew exactly which points would break Sehwa. If he didn’t comply, who knew what threats he would make against Saessak this time.

His own feelings weren’t a priority. Just opening his body to receive his, and eventually weeping with pleasure… the mere thought was excruciatingly painful, enough to make him lose his breath, but if Saessak was okay, it didn’t matter.

Repeating “I’m your fucktoy” or “I’m your hole”? Embarrassing and obscene words? He could say them all. But… an irreversible event happening to Saessak, who was barely clinging to life after deep penetration, that was the one thing he wanted to avoid at all costs.

Sehwa shook his swollen wrist. It still tingled, but he could move it. His ankle wasn’t fully healed yet, but he thought he could kneel. Then… should he beg to do it with his hands or mouth instead?

Or… or, should he tell him to beat him until his anger was appeased? Ah, how about writing a contract? He could be played with as he pleased after Saessak was born, so could he please refrain from sex until then…?

Sehwa diligently racked his brain, then fell into deep despair. There was no answer. Why would Gi Taejeong bother to listen to him? He could do as he pleased right now, so he wasn’t the kind of person to hold back out of consideration for someone else’s circumstances.

What to do. While he could think of nothing but that sentence, Gi Taejeong walked out of the bathroom with heavy steps. When he pressed a button, the ivory reading lamp on the headboard lit up… and only then could the two of them see each other.

Gi Taejeong was roughly drying his wet hair with a towel. He was only wearing black boxers below, so the movements of all his prominent muscles and bones were visible. He said nothing, but Sehwa, interpreting sexual implications in every one of the man’s actions, trembled slightly alone.

“…I heard you didn’t eat properly.”

Gi Taejeong mumbled, roughly sweeping back his still-damp bangs.

“You barely managed to swallow some gruel, and even most of that you threw up.”

Sehwa bowed his head deeply and silently endured the gaze pouring down on him. Meanwhile, one side of the mattress dipped slightly. At that weight, Sehwa cowered even more. Gi Taejeong was pulling back the edge of the blanket, approaching him.

“You remember my promise to give you a new identity once everything is over, right?”

“…”

“The reason I deliberately put your name on the trial, even knowing your situation would be dangerous… was because I thought it would be better to reveal your existence anyway, since anyone who stirred up this matter would inevitably find out about you. And I thought I could clean up your past at the same time.”

“…”

“If we emphasize throughout the trial that you were a 4th District resident who had no choice but to follow the orders of a superior, a soldier at that, then even the illegal things you’ve done so far could officially be recognized as not guilty.”

Even though he had promised him the resident ID he had so desperately yearned for, and to completely erase the past he wanted to shake off, Sehwa showed no reaction. Gi Taejeong bit his lower lip in frustration, then continued speaking.

“Anyway, you won’t be called to the courtroom, so keep that in mind… General Oh Seonran also sent his adjutant today to inform us that they’ve started the adoption procedures.”

He had thrown out the topic he would be most curious about, but all he got in return was silence.

He had expected Sehwa to question this and that once the floodgates opened. He even thought he might cry and scream like yesterday… it didn’t matter. He was prepared to continue the conversation somehow, but…

Sehwa remained silent. He didn’t even ask about Aunt Song’s whereabouts, and with dull, lifeless eyes, he stubbornly stared at his own feet.

The lingering image of yesterday, when he whispered “Saessak” and smiled gently, flickered. Gi Taejeong hadn’t expected him to show such a soft, melted demeanor, but since Sehwa gave no reaction, Gi Taejeong was also at a loss.

“…Come here first.”

He had barely eaten a few spoonfuls of gruel during the day, but Sergeant Major Choi said even that had been difficult. There was no need to hear Lieutenant Na’s opinion. Sehwa’s condition clearly didn’t look good.

So, he intended to hold him and comfort him first. To let him breathe a little. No matter what, Lee Sehwa only seemed to truly live in his arms. Only after inhaling his scent would he relax and close his eyes in peace. But,

“…, can’t we?”

Sehwa, instead, stiffened rigidly and held onto Gi Taejeong. He blocked the arm extended towards him with trembling hands, muttering something softly. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead and the back of his neck.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain anywhere?”

“Se-sex… can’t we do it after the baby is safely born…?”

“…What?”

A reflexive question burst out before he could fully grasp the meaning. A few seconds later, Gi Taejeong understood what Lee Sehwa had said and was dumbfounded. Did he think that he, Gi Taejeong, would hold him and have sex with him even in his current state?

“Lieutenant Na gave me medicine. So my hand is perfectly usable now.”

However, Sehwa, interpreting Gi Taejeong’s question as a denial, clung to him even more desperately.

“Or… should I suck you? That really wouldn’t be a problem…”

“…Lee Sehwa.”

Gi Taejeong looked at Sehwa, who looked like death warmed over, with a face as if he’d been punched. No, hadn’t he clearly told him before? That he wouldn’t do any penetration for a while because he was worried about the slight prolapse of the uterus. And he had actually done so.

But Sehwa seemed to have forgotten all about that. He was trembling, convinced that Gi Taejeong would rape him arbitrarily, and ultimately hurt the baby in his womb.

“I saw the ultrasound this morning, and the baby’s condition is really not good…”

“…”

“A resident ID or something… you don’t have to give it to me.”

“A resident ID or something?”

He asked again, dumbfounded. He had wanted it so much, had endured so stubbornly all this time to become a resident of the Star. He was flustered by Lee Sehwa saying “a resident ID or something.” Lee Sehwa, who cherished the child with him enough to give up that long-held dream, Lee Sehwa, who no longer placed any weight on the promises he had made… truly seemed to have no meaning left in life, and that… was a little frightening.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way… I just meant I really don’t need anything…”

His stammering tone resembled the time he had first interrogated him in the house. The childish pouting that only Gi Taejeong saw, the softly trailing words at the end, were no longer there. All that remained in the place where tears had dried was only fear of him.

“Ah, from now on, I won’t threaten you with my body, and I won’t speak curtly like yesterday… and I won’t scream either.”

Lee Sehwa awkwardly knelt due to the splint on his ankle, and continuously pleaded. No, he begged.

“I’ll do my best to satisfy you enough with my hands or mouth…”

Sehwa, who had considered the misunderstanding of selling his body to be the most terrible thing, now offered his own body to negotiate a night.

“Please… I beg you…”

Gi Taejeong’s cold fingertips twitched, then he clenched his fist tightly, enduring the stinging sensation.