Lick Me Up If You Can Novel (Completed) - Chapter 134

Koi stared blankly up at Ashleigh. He added quickly, with a desperation unlike before.

“Tuition, living expenses, nothing is needed. You just have to come with me.”

“Ash.”

“Come with me. Then I’ll do anything. You just have to say one word, just one word, that you’ll come with me.”

Please, Ashleigh whispered. Koi swallowed dryly at his voice, which sounded like a breath. For a moment, he wavered. What would happen if he nodded here? If he said he would go, if he took Ashleigh’s hand.

Suddenly, Ashleigh’s image, waiting endlessly for him in the station waiting room, seemed to appear before his eyes. Even his own image, sitting in his father’s hospital room, watching the morning sun rise.

Koi bit his lip, then released it. To Ashleigh, who had been watching him until then, Koi spoke with difficulty.

“…That, I can’t.”

Ashleigh froze.

“My father only has me.”

Koi continued in a trembling voice.

“I’m sorry, Ash. But… if I leave, Dad will be alone.”

Ashleigh said nothing. He just looked down at Koi’s face for a long time.

“Ha… haha.”

Ashleigh laughed, a sigh followed by a hollow laugh.

“Koi, then what about me?”

He asked, still laughing. His eyes tilted, his lips faintly trembling, his face horribly contorted as if about to cry.

“I’m alone too.”

For a moment, the words “I’ll go with you” rose to Koi’s tongue. But at that moment, the image of his father sleeping in the motorhome flickered before his eyes. Instead of embracing Ashleigh, Koi clenched his fist, enduring, and mumbled.

“You… you have so much. So…”

Koi couldn’t say any more. Ashleigh was looking down at him with a completely lost expression.

“Ha…”

Ashleigh let out a sigh of disbelief and spoke.

“Even you’re saying that to me.”

At those words, Koi snapped back to reality. What nonsense had he just blurted out? Regret washed over him, but it was already too late. The strength in the arms that had been holding him slowly faded.

Ashleigh pulled away from Koi and stepped back. He looked at Koi one more time, then turned around. Koi urgently grabbed Ashleigh, who was about to leave.

“Ash, Ash, wait a minute, just wait a minute…!”

He had to say something. He couldn’t let him go like this. Koi stammered and asked.

“Um, you’re not leaving here, are you? Not going forever…”

“I won’t be here anymore.”

Ashleigh’s voice came out calmly. Koi hastily added.

“I can go to you, I’ll come see you.”

He spoke quickly. His voice was already trembling.

“We can meet during vacation. If I can’t go, you can come visit, right? Your house is here too.”

“I won’t see you again.”

Ashleigh gave a self-deprecating laugh.

“You know what’s funny? She was right.”

Koi flinched. Ashleigh spoke to him, who couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth due to an ominous premonition.

“You didn’t like me, you loved me for liking you.”

His heart sank instantly. Ashleigh was about to leave.

“Ash!”

Koi, terrified, grabbed his arm with both hands. The thought of losing Ashleigh like this made his mind go blank. He had to hold him. He had to turn him back somehow. Otherwise, if he didn’t.

“I was wrong.”

He would lose Ash forever.

“I was wrong, Ash. Please, don’t go! I won’t do it again, I won’t say those words again… Please, please, don’t go!”

Koi desperately clung to him. Why had he said those words? If he could, he wanted to turn back time.

He held onto him with all his might, and Ashleigh paused, then spoke.

“It’s too late.”

At that moment, Koi froze. Ashleigh slowly turned his head. When their gazes met, Koi could no longer speak.

To Koi, who only stared, Ashleigh raised a hand. The warmth of his touch, slowly caressing his cheek, soon moved away. His neat, long fingers lingered in the air for a moment, then fell. Ashleigh, reflected in his blurred vision, smiled quietly. His purple eyes deepened.

“Goodbye, Koi.”

He whispered in a voice even lower than usual. Koi couldn’t even blink, only stared. That was the last of it. Ashleigh turned around.

The strength in the hand that had held him loosened, and Ashleigh easily pulled away from Koi. He turned his gaze forward and began to walk. Koi watched blankly as his long legs slowly moved, his back receding into the distance.

The door opened, and quietly closed. Koi was left alone. And so, he left. Without ever looking back.

His father passed away one day in autumn, after summer had ended. When Koi checked on his father first thing in the morning, he realized that the faint breathing he had heard until the day before had completely disappeared.

Even seeing his father, completely devoid of life, Koi wasn’t greatly shocked. Since his father had been unconscious for two days, his death was accepted more calmly than he had anticipated.

After that, things proceeded according to the procedures he had already learned.

Few people came to the funeral. At most, a few colleagues his father had known from work were all who could attend. Bill and Ariel, who could be called Koi’s friends, were at their dorms during the semester and apologized for not being able to attend the funeral to comfort him, but Koi said it was okay.

After the humble funeral, Koi returned home and immediately discarded the old bed his father had used and tidied up the motorhome’s interior. There wasn’t much to do. His father’s belongings were just a few worn-out clothes and miscellaneous items, and there was nothing particularly worth keeping.

He kept one old family photo that he found while cleaning and threw everything else away. He decided to buy a small frame for the family photo and place it on the table. After cleaning, all the tidying was done.

Koi even felt a sense of emptiness at how quickly everything was finished, in just a few hours. The house was too quiet. In the motorhome, where even the shallow breathing of a sick person was no longer heard, Koi sat blankly for a long time.

Now he was alone.

“Koi, over here!”

Bill and Ariel, who had returned home for the weekend, called out to him. Koi met them at the greenbelt, as they often did in high school. Seeing them after a long time, they first asked about Koi’s well-being and expressed their regret for not being able to be with him.

“It’s okay, really. It didn’t take long to sort things out either. More importantly, how’s college for you guys? Is it fun?”

When Koi changed the subject, Bill and Ariel responded by talking about various things. Koi also immersed himself in the college talk, which he might have also enjoyed, and time flew by quickly as they chatted.

It was almost night when they left the store, and Bill, who had already seen Ariel off, stopped before getting into his car and spoke.

“By the way, I heard Ash’s house is up for sale.”

“Huh?”

Bill continued to Koi, who flinched at the unexpected words.

“No, my mom’s a real estate agent. She said a listing came in.”

“Ah…”

As Koi let out a blank gasp, Bill sighed and added.

“It seems Ash really isn’t coming back now.”

Leaving those words, he got into his car and drove away. Koi, left alone, watched his car disappear, then headed to where his bicycle was parked.

He readily got on his bicycle and pedaled skillfully. He should have gone home, but his bicycle headed in a completely different direction. He didn’t realize it even as he climbed the hill. Only after rounding the low mountain and reaching the summit, when his destination came into view, did he finally realize where he had come.

For Sale

A sign was stuck in front of the grand, enormous mansion. Koi got off his bicycle and stared blankly at it for a moment. He lifted his head, and the completely dark mansion looked down at him. Koi leaned his bicycle against the wall and slowly walked.

Entering the mansion was, of course, impossible. After checking the locked door, he started walking to the side again. The side gate leading to the garden was also locked, so all he could see was the front of the mansion.

Koi stood a few steps away, looking up at the mansion, then lowered his head again. The surroundings were deathly quiet. There was no sign of anyone. Koi stood there for a while, then got back on his bicycle.

Going down the mountain was slower than coming up. He slowly pedaled down the ridge, forcing himself to slow down, even though gravity alone would have sent him down quickly. His mind was still empty.

He’s really not here anymore…

Just as the thought vaguely surfaced, a rabbit suddenly darted in front of him. Startled, Koi desperately tried to brake but ended up tumbling with his bicycle.

“Ow, ow, ow…”

He lay on the ground, groaning, then stopped moving. The surroundings were quiet. In the silence where only his own breathing could be heard, fragments of memory suddenly resurfaced.

<I won’t be here anymore.>

It’s true.

<I won’t see you again.>

Ash really isn’t here anymore.

<You didn’t like me, you loved me for liking you.>

A sense of emptiness weighed heavily on his entire body. He managed to pick up his bicycle and started walking, dragging his feet. His mind was just blank. It wasn’t just from the shock of falling.

<Goodbye, Koi.>

“…I like you.”

A voice, fading like a breath, reached his ears. It didn’t take long for him to realize it was his own voice. The realization came unexpectedly. At the same time, his eyes burned with a stinging sensation.

I really liked you, Ash.

It wasn’t friendship. It was never just friendship. Not because you liked me, not because you were the only one who loved me back then.

For me, it was love too.

But now it was too late. He would never see him again.

He wouldn’t be able to call his name, or see his smiling face towards Koi. He wouldn’t be able to confess either. Because he had left. And it was all Koi’s fault.

Ashleigh hadn’t given up on him until the very end. It was Koi himself who had hurt Ashleigh and sent him away.

I really, really liked you so much.

Suddenly, tears burst forth, and Koi collapsed there, sobbing uncontrollably.