Lick Me Up If You Can Novel (Completed) - Chapter 133

As he climbed the stairs, his heart pounded faster and faster. How would Ashleigh react when he saw him? He couldn’t even imagine. But his feet didn’t slow down; they only sped up. The desire to meet Ashleigh quickly took precedence, leaving no room for other thoughts.

When he finally stood in front of the door to Ashleigh’s second-floor room, he even felt a momentary dizziness from his pounding heart and rapid breathing. Koi took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob. With trembling hands, he finally opened the door.

A cool breeze was the first thing to greet him. Soon, through the wide-open door, the ordinary scene of a room unfolded. A king-sized bed was visible on one side, and across from it, a man stood with his back to him in the room with a fireplace. His tall stature and broad shoulders were unmistakably the person Koi knew.

Koi desperately suppressed his pounding heart and stepped inside. As he closed the door behind him, the noise from downstairs moved to the balcony. When he managed to take a few trembling steps, the man seemed to finally notice his presence and turned his head.

Ah.

Koi froze. The other man did too. He stood there, staring at Koi, saying nothing. His platinum blonde hair, slightly disheveled by the breeze, his significantly taller height, and his purple eyes staring at Koi were all the same.

It’s Ash.

Koi’s vision blurred, and he quickly sniffled. Ashleigh seemed the same, yet different. Dressed neatly in a white shirt, tie, and suit, he felt somehow alien. Hesitating at the perhaps natural distance, Ashleigh moved first. All he did was slowly raise one hand.

Oh.

Koi flinched again. Only then did he realize what the biggest sense of alienation was. Ashleigh was smoking.

He watched the cigarette, its tip glowing red, and Ashleigh inhaled the smoke, then slowly exhaled it with his breath. The sight was so familiar that Koi was speechless. The tears that had gathered in his eyes had disappeared, and he belatedly cleared his throat and spoke.

“Um… it’s been a while.”

“…Yeah.”

Ashleigh replied. Koi felt some relief that he wasn’t being ignored.

“You’re, you’re smoking.”

He chose a relatively safe topic, and Ashleigh, as if to prove a point, brought the cigarette to his mouth and replied.

“I’m not an athlete anymore.”

“Right…”

Still, they weren’t old enough to buy cigarettes or alcohol. Ashleigh had definitely changed. Especially the cold look on his face when he looked at Koi. Because of that, Koi couldn’t approach Ashleigh further and remained standing there.

The wind blew again. The day had already turned to dusk, and a boundless indigo sky stretched behind Ashleigh.

The cigarette smoke Ashleigh exhaled drifted with the wind, and Koi coughed lightly. Seeing this, Ashleigh took another drag, then stubbed it out on the balcony railing.

Seeing him raise a hand to wave away the smoke he had exhaled, Koi’s heart warmed again. Ashleigh was still Ashleigh. Gaining a little confidence from his continued consideration, he opened his mouth.

“Um, how about college? Did you get in?”

“Yeah.”

That was all Ashleigh’s answer was. To keep the conversation going, Koi racked his brain again for the next words.

“Oh, the same university as your father?”

Ashleigh didn’t even answer this time, just gave a short nod. Koi was at a loss and fell silent. An awkward silence hung in the air. This kind of uncomfortable atmosphere between him and Ashleigh was new, and Koi couldn’t think of how to salvage the situation. Feeling helpless, he aimlessly looked around, when Ashleigh spoke first.

“I have a question.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He answered hastily, fixing his gaze, and Ashleigh looked directly at Koi and asked.

“That day, why didn’t you come?”

Koi was speechless. It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected this question. But even so, hearing it directly made it difficult for words to come out easily. Hesitating, Koi finally managed to speak.

“My father was very sick… I couldn’t leave his side.”

“…The phone?”

Ashleigh asked again after a moment of silence.

“Why didn’t you call?”

Koi answered honestly.

“My father went to the emergency room… and then I suddenly heard he was going to die, so I was completely out of my mind. …I’m sorry.”

This part was sincere. In the sudden situation, he hadn’t had the presence of mind to call. He only regained some composure after his father was moved to a hospital room and they were left alone.

But even then, he knew the phone was constantly ringing, yet he couldn’t bring himself to answer it. The reason was the same as why he couldn’t go to the station. And Ashleigh seemed to have somewhat guessed that much.

“Koi, what I’m curious about is this.”

He looked down at his hand as if wanting to smoke, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair instead.

“You could have come to the station, even for a moment, that day. You knew I was waiting, and even though your father was sick, it’s not like you couldn’t leave for a short while after the crisis passed.”

Ashleigh had thought about that day over and over again for a very long time. Even in the East, even while frantically busy preparing for college, that incident constantly tormented him. Finally, Ashleigh had a chance to find the answer. He forced down his trembling voice and asked in a lower tone than usual.

“Tell me honestly. Were you, were you not planning to come to me?”

Koi couldn’t answer immediately. He just looked at Ashleigh with trembling eyes. Ashleigh’s words were true. He could have gone to the station, even for a moment. If he had explained in person, wouldn’t Ashleigh have understood more?

But Koi didn’t do that. He couldn’t deny the reason why he didn’t.

“…I’m sorry.”

Koi couldn’t look at Ashleigh’s face anymore and lowered his head.

“If I saw your face… I felt like I would weaken. If I had gone to the station, I might have abandoned my father and left with you.”

Ashleigh said nothing. He just stared at Koi silently. Feeling ashamed, Koi only looked at his toes, when Ashleigh’s strained voice was heard.

“So you abandoned me.”

Koi unconsciously lifted his head. Koi would never forget Ashleigh’s expression at that moment. Ashleigh was faintly smiling. A look of emptiness, of resignation, as if he had expected it. But also, a look of utter devastation, as if a certain amount of hope had been brutally crushed.

“Ash.”

Koi opened his mouth with difficulty, but Ashleigh raised a hand. As if to say, “That’s enough.”

“You said you gave up on college?”

Koi hesitated, then nodded. Ashleigh asked again.

“Because of your father?”

Koi had to agree again.

“There’s no one else to take care of my father…”

In his faint voice, Ashleigh said nothing. He only let out a sigh, as if suffocating. Koi looked at his face with difficulty. The words he had wanted to ask since earlier were stuck in his throat, and he couldn’t hold them back.

“Ash, you… you’re going back East after the party, right?”

“Yeah. I only came here to see you.”

At his too-ready addition, Koi was speechless. Seeing him flustered, Ashleigh gave a bitter smile.

“I just wanted to check if my thoughts were wrong. …Right, I guess they weren’t.”

Koi felt a sense of crisis at his somewhat resigned words.

“Ash, Ash.”

Koi urgently called his name and continued.

“Um, can I still call you?”

Ashleigh didn’t answer. Koi mumbled in a fading voice.

“We don’t have to break up like this. We can meet during vacation or something…”

“You’d better not be in my sight.”

Ashleigh said. At his light tone compared to the content, Koi was bewildered, unable to grasp the meaning.

“…You’re not threatening me, are you?”

“Maybe.”

At the ambiguous answer, Koi tensed and hunched his shoulders.

“Are you going to hit me…?”

Ashleigh let out a short laugh. Soon, he muttered with a bitter expression.

“You might even think being hit is better.”

A flustered Koi’s eyes widened. Seeing Koi like that, Ashleigh averted his gaze and suddenly moved.

Koi stared blankly at him walking towards him. Step by step, Ashleigh came closer. When he finally stood right in front of him, Koi instinctively held his breath in tension. And then Ashleigh, who seemed about to pass by Koi, suddenly wrapped his arms around Koi’s waist and pulled him closer.

Koi gasped in surprise and was pulled along. Their lips met. The lips that seemed to touch softly then pressed together hard, and immediately their tongues intertwined.

Koi, who had been stiff from the sudden kiss, didn’t hesitate and wrapped his arms around Ashleigh’s neck. As their bodies pressed tightly together, a rough kiss continued.

He wished this kiss would never end.

Koi responded to Ashleigh’s kiss with all his heart. Ashleigh, who had intertwined his tongue, bit and sucked on Koi’s lips. Their panting breaths touched his saliva-soaked lips with a cold chill.

When they finally stopped kissing, both were gasping for breath. Ashleigh looked down at Koi for a moment, then laughed softly.

“You’re drunk.”

Was he drinking alcohol as well as smoking? Koi suddenly thought. But even after stopping the kiss, Ashleigh was still holding him. With his arms around Koi’s waist, Ashleigh spoke.

“I’ll ask you one last time. Let’s go to the East together.”