Lick Me Up If You Can Novel (Completed) - Chapter 119

The surroundings were silent. So quiet that Koi sat still, not even daring to breathe, looking down at Ashley, fearing he might hear the sound of the medicine dripping from the IV bag.

The secretary’s words kept echoing in his mind.

<Why are you perfectly fine?>

<You’re still a Beta. There’s no sign of you presenting at all.>

<Are you perhaps not truly in love with Ashley Miller?>

That’s not true.

Tears welled up in Koi’s eyes again. What do you know, what do you know?

<So your whole body is rejecting him, because you don’t truly desire Ashley Miller.>

No, that’s not it.

<Ashley Miller is the only one who likes you.>

It’s not because of that, I like Ash.

I truly like him just because he’s Ash.

You don’t know anything…

“Ugh, h-hic.”

With tears overflowing again, Koi bit his lip and rubbed his eyes. He tried to hold it in, but sobs kept escaping.

He wiped his tears several times, when suddenly a faint groan reached his ears. Koi paused, quickly rubbed away his tears again, and looked up to see Ashley groaning, his brow furrowed. It seemed he was regaining consciousness.

Koi unconsciously tensed his shoulders and waited for him to open his eyes. After a few seconds of silence, Ashley slowly lifted his eyelids.

Koi watched him blink a few times to focus, holding his breath. Finally, when Ashley shifted his gaze and their eyes met, Koi gasped.

“…Koi.”

Ashley whispered in a hoarse, deep voice. Seeing him smile faintly, Koi’s eyes welled up with tears again.

“Koi.”

Ashley called his name more clearly this time, then furrowed his brow.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Koi couldn’t answer and lowered his head. He quickly wiped his tears, but they wouldn’t stop overflowing.

“Koi…”

Ashley, who had raised his hand in alarm, paused. He checked the IV needle in his arm, then looked up to see the IV bag and remained silent for a moment. Soon, his memories returned, and he understood the situation.

“…Bill, what happened to him?”

In a somewhat low voice, Koi tried to stop crying and answered.

“He’s o-okay. He went to the hospital. He got an injection to remove the pheromones.”

“…I see.”

Then a long sigh escaped him. Koi looked at him with red eyes. Ashley, lying in bed, looked more tired and exhausted than ever.

“Are you okay? Ash.”

Ashley paused before answering the question, which was repeatedly broken by his remaining sobs.

“…I want to say yes, but I’m really not okay.”

A bitter smile appeared on his face, then his expression vanished.

“Are you? Are you okay?”

Ashley, who asked belatedly, soon realized he had asked a foolish question. Koi hadn’t presented. Not this time either.

Bill had vomited and even lost consciousness.

Koi also realized what Ashley was thinking. Anyone would know by looking at his expression. Even the utterly clueless Koi had noticed.

“I’m okay.”

Koi forced a smile, clenching his jaw to keep his voice from trembling.

“I haven’t presented.”

Ashley paused, then nodded briefly.

“Yes, that’s a relief.”

After speaking, he tried to smile, but it wasn’t easy. In his mind, he knew he had to calmly recognize this situation, but his heart was too complicated.

Why was Koi so unaffected?

<Perhaps he’s strongly rejecting it.>

The secretary’s voice, which he had tried to bury, suddenly resurfaced. The words that had plagued and unnerved him instantly filled his mind.

Does Koi not truly like me?

He knew he shouldn’t doubt, but suspicion kept creeping in.

Koi, why don’t you present?

Surely her words couldn’t be true. They clearly loved each other. Truly. Moreover, to doubt his sincerity just because Koi didn’t present as an Omega was truly terrible.

Koi would be happier as a Beta.

It was true. Ashley had to live his entire life being swayed by pheromones like this. A Beta like Koi would probably never understand.

They have become so different now.

If Koi were an Omega, he might understand my suffering a little.

He knew Koi was trying even now. But no matter how much he tried, he would never understand. As long as he remained a Beta. And so, they would become more and more different, understanding each other less and less.

How many times can Koi endure seeing me like this?

<If you truly love someone, being able to let them go is what makes you an adult. Of course, you wouldn’t know, since you’re not an adult.>

“That woman was right.”

Koi didn’t understand what he whispered in a low voice at first.

“Huh? What did you say?”

Ashley looked at him with a devastated feeling as he quickly wiped his eyes and asked. Koi was crying. Because of him. Ashley couldn’t bear that the most.

“I shouldn’t be with you.”

Koi’s eyes widened at the unexpected words. Ashley continued to speak to him, who was silently watching.

“If I truly care for you, I have to let you go. Because you’re a Beta, and I’m an Alpha. You haven’t presented, and I have.”

The more he spoke, the more painful reality hit him. Uttering how different they had become with his own mouth was like torture.

“Every time I fall into rut, you’ll be in danger. Perhaps I might go crazy from another Omega’s scent and hurt you. This is absolutely not right, it’s right for me to leave you. But, still.”

Ashley, who was about to continue speaking, bit his lip. Koi watched his large chest slowly fall as he slowly exhaled the breath he had taken in. Then, Ashley whispered in a trembling voice.

“But I can’t, I can’t do that.”

“Ash.”

“I can’t break up with you.”

He knew her words were right. He knew he was wrong, and that he should give up now.

But he couldn’t.

If Koi wasn’t there, if he disappeared from his life.

Could he endure it?

“Koi, don’t abandon me.”

He finally grabbed Koi’s arm and desperately clung to him.

“Please don’t abandon me, Koi.”

Why didn’t you present? No, why did I present?

If both of us were Betas, if only.

This painful thing wouldn’t have happened.

“Ash.”

Koi urgently called his name, but Ashley didn’t hear him. He was already out of his mind with fear.

I might go crazy.

These pheromones might consume me.

“I’m scared.”

Ashley muttered, trembling all over. His wide eyes violently shook, showing purple pupils.

Perhaps I’m already crazy.

What if my brain has already melted and my mind is gone, but I haven’t realized it? What if all of this is just a fantasy and delusion?

What if I’m crazy and dreaming right now?

He couldn’t overcome his fear and clutched his head with both hands.

“I’m scared…”

“Ash.”

Koi looked at Ashley with a pale face. When he touched his body with trembling hands, he felt Ashley trembling too. Koi bravely leaned into Ashley. Ashley desperately hugged him back, warmed by Koi’s embrace.

For a while, they remained still, sharing each other’s warmth. Ashley’s trembling gradually subsided, but his arms remained wrapped around Koi.

Koi wanted to reassure him somehow, but no words came to mind. Whatever he said wouldn’t reach Ashley. No matter what Koi said, he wouldn’t be convinced.

He couldn’t say it would be okay, or that he would always be by his side, or that he understood his suffering. All of it would be nonsense. All of it lacked realism, so he couldn’t even utter it. How could he make Ashley feel at ease?

<Are you perhaps not truly in love with Ashley Miller?>

That’s not true.

At the secretary’s voice echoing in his ears again, Koi hugged Ashley tightly. He would prove it somehow. His love.

“…Do you still have the two dollars I gave you?”

Koi asked in a quiet voice after a long pause. Ashley, who was silent for a moment, nodded. Koi sighed, trembling, then spoke with difficulty.

“The reason why… I can’t smell anymore, because…”

He felt Ashley flinch. Koi took a deep breath. The voice that followed was somewhat shaky.

“I had an accident when I was little. …A car accident.”