Kiss Me if You Can Novel Completed - Chapter 66

He had thought Chase Miller was crazy, but it turned out he was the most normal one. No, perhaps he had no choice but to go crazy.

Grayson still looked at Josh with an unconvinced expression. Seeing that face, Josh realized this man’s biggest problem.

He believed his actions were benevolent, so they were naturally good deeds, regardless of the other person’s will. This man clearly could not understand why, after doing something good, the other person shuddered and hated it.

“He’s truly a difficult one, Chase is.”

With that, Grayson attributed all the answers to one conclusion. He simply believed that Chase was strange, that his personality was difficult, and that he wouldn’t accept anything done for him. Josh felt an indescribably complex emotion.

“…Then, goodbye.”

Further conversation was meaningless. Josh said only those words and turned away. As he was about to return to the trailer, he glanced back.

Grayson was still there. Staring intently at one spot with a serious face. Josh couldn’t tell if he was still thinking about Chase or if other thoughts had come to mind.

He simply ignored him and walked on. The place he headed was the bedroom.

Knock, knock.

A light knock was followed by the opening of the door. There would be no answer anyway, so there was no need to delay.

As expected, Chase was sitting on the bed. Huddled with his face buried in his hands, without even a shirt on, he looked somewhat pitiful. Josh closed the door, turned around, then approached him and reached out a hand. But as soon as his hand lightly touched Chase’s shoulder, Chase violently shook it off and recoiled as if startled.

“…What?”

A pale face entered Josh’s vision. Fear was etched in his wildly trembling eyes. Josh stood still, waiting for Chase to regain his composure. Slowly, his eyes grew dark and sunken. He barely managed to fix his gaze on Josh. Only then did Josh speak.

“He’s gone, your brother.”

More accurately, he had only gone outside the trailer, but Josh added inwardly. He wouldn’t be coming back anyway. Josh could feel Chase’s tension ease with just those words.

Suddenly, he imagined Chase, who was around Pete’s age or a little older, falling down a chimney and breaking his arm, or crying in fear while trapped in a closet.

Chase, huddled with his face in his hands, looked infinitely small. Josh reached out a hand, then stopped it in mid-air. Instead of embracing his shoulder, he spoke.

“What can I do for you, Chase? Tell me, I’ll listen.”

Chase still didn’t answer. Looking down at him, sighing tremblingly, Josh asked.

“Should I kill him?”

At the sudden question, Chase didn’t immediately grasp the meaning. He raised his head, his face full of doubt. But Josh remained unfazed, continuing in his monotonous tone.

“Should I kill them for you? Just say the word, Chase. Grayson? Grayson’s dog? Or everyone who torments you, should I kill them all?”

Chase’s eyes gradually widened. His lips moved, but he couldn’t speak. It was a long time before he made a sound.

“You said you couldn’t become a criminal.”

At the obvious point, Josh gave a bitter smile.

“I did, but.”

After a short pause, he added.

“I’ll adapt better to prison than you.”

Josh gently stroked Chase’s cheek, who was staring blankly, unable to speak, and whispered.

“Who should I kill for you?”

Chase opened his mouth. His lips trembled as much as his breath. Barely squeezing out the words, he confessed.

“…Me.”

Josh looked down at him intently.

“Please, just kill me.”

He didn’t want to live like this. He whispered. He didn’t want to continue each day living in fear like this. He was genuinely sick of living.

What if he lost consciousness again and one day ended up doing it with a dog after all?

The mere thought made him want to hang himself and die.

“Have you ever thought about how terrifying it is not to remember anything about what I did or where?”

“…”

“I know.”

Again, Chase’s eyes filled with tears.

“You can’t even imagine.”

Even when he said he didn’t want unwanted sex, no one took him seriously. Eventually, when Chase burst into tears and panicked at the sight of the dog, Grayson said.

“You won’t have to rush to find a partner anymore. You have Alex. You won’t have to do it with someone you don’t like.”

And he smiled genuinely and brightly.

“That’s good, Chase. Isn’t this such a fortunate thing?”

That day, his expression, his clothes, the wide-open living room window, the breeze blowing in, the fresh scent of trees tickling his nose, mixed with the musky scent of the dog, and the glistening eyes of the Rottweiler looking at him.

Chase could remember everything so vividly. As if it were yesterday.

The tears that had stopped now welled up again. He bit his lip to hold them back, but the tears flowed regardless of his will. Josh silently pulled him into a hug. That was all. But once the tears started, they flowed uncontrollably.

Until now, he had been utterly alone. Like an isolated island, huddled in silence, simply continuing each day, waiting for the day he would disappear.

Everyone in the world was the same. They all looked at him with strange expressions. They didn’t understand, they were awkward, they smiled and walked past. He was tired of this incomprehension and wanted nothing more. He just wanted to be left alone.

But in truth, he was waiting. For someone to recognize him, to see how hurt and lonely he was and reach out a hand.

Please, someone understand me.

Josh hugged him tightly and whispered over his head.

“You won’t die, not as long as I’m guarding you.”

He continued calmly.

“You won’t lose your memory either. If something like that happens.”

“…”

“I’ll protect you so no one can harm you.”

Chase slowly lifted his gaze. His wet, sparkling eyes shone more brilliantly than the stars in the night sky.

“…Really?”

He asked between sobs. There was no confidence in his voice at all. Josh looked into his eyes and answered.

“I promise.”

Josh, who kissed his forehead as he did with Pete, smiled. Chase blinked and looked up at him. Josh carefully brushed away the hair clinging to his face and suddenly chuckled.

“You really look better with blonde hair.”

“…”

“I hope filming ends soon.”

He said it like a soliloquy, but what Chase wished for was the opposite. What would happen when filming ended? Would he suddenly disappear like before?

Unable to ask any more, Chase hugged Josh’s waist. Josh let him bury his face in his chest.

“…Don’t mind it, what your brother said.”

Leaving Chase’s trembling arms around his waist, he buried his lips in his hair and hugged his shoulders tightly. Chase said nothing, closing his eyes, and deeply inhaled his scent.

There was no fragrance.