Kiss Me if You Can Novel Completed - Chapter 47

Chase barely managed to form the thought, but he couldn’t move his body. Fighting alone would have its limits. Moreover, Josh was already covered in blood.

Look, he’s so exhausted.

Chase stared blankly at Josh’s back, who was breathing through his shoulders. Standing with his back to him, he was protecting Chase from the attacking coyotes. Yet, Chase himself could do nothing but remain frozen.

But even knowing that, he couldn’t move, and it was even hard to hold onto his fading consciousness.

Josh’s outstretched back was clearly etched in his retina. In Chase’s bewildered eyes, he saw Josh take off his torn jacket and throw it away. Then, his back, clad in a white shirt, came into view. Suddenly, his eyes stung.

Haa, haa. Haa, haa.

Short breaths continued to circle in his mouth. His trembling hands clutched at his chest, but his breathing wouldn’t calm down. Finally, as three coyotes simultaneously lunged at various parts of Josh’s body, Chase completely lost consciousness.

<Ugh, h-huh, huh…>

A crying sound was heard from somewhere. The child wiped away his ceaseless tears with his fists, crying and crying again. The blonde child, wearing shorts with suspenders, had a beautiful face that was a mess, mixed with tears, snot, and snot. But no matter how bitterly he cried, there was no one to comfort him.

<Chase is weird.>

Grayson said with a frown. He was the only one who even showed that much interest. Nathaniel just looked at his phone aimlessly, smoking, and Stacy also reacted indifferently. The other two were too young.

But he couldn’t say which was better. Lack of understanding was as painful as indifference.

That day, the bird didn’t sing at all in the morning. It didn’t drink water or eat feed. Chase couldn’t concentrate in class all day, worried about his precious yellow canary. When he rushed home, the bird was lying cold on the bottom of the cage.

Chase screamed, pale and startled. Grayson, seeing this, opened the cage door. Tears were already welling up in Chase’s eyes.

<My bird is sick, Grayson.>

Grayson picked up the bird, placed it on his palm, poked it a couple of times, and then spoke.

<It’s not sick, it’s dead.>

<Dead?>

<Yes.>

And Grayson said nonchalantly.

<We should throw it away.>

Before he could even accept the fact, Grayson casually turned around. And the yellow canary fell straight into the trash can.

Chase screamed in horror.

Grayson looked at him with a surprised expression at the unexpected reaction. Chase frantically picked up his bird, which had been thrown into the trash can. The bird showed no movement at all. No matter how much he stroked it, no matter how much he cried, nothing changed. He cried for hours, but all he got in return were cold stares.

<It’s dead, Chase.>

Grayson pointed out casually, as usual.

<It’s dead, so we should throw it away.>

But Chase couldn’t understand. Grayson tilted his head, watching his sobbing brother. Nathaniel spoke indifferently to him, looking troubled.

<Chase is always weird, just leave him alone.>

At those words, Chase stopped crying for a moment. Grayson shrugged, looking down at him, who was sobbing and blinking blankly. Chase stood there, witnessing Grayson’s back as he went up to his room, Nathaniel’s indifferent departure, and Stacy shaking her head at him, one after another.

Everyone laughed at him.

He later couldn’t tell if the reason he was crying was because of the bird or for some other reason. He just cried and cried and cried.

When his father returned in the evening, he paused at first, seeing his son’s face ruined by tears. Chase looked up at him, placing his last hope.

<My bird died, Papa.>

Chase whimpered and complained. His father just looked down at him with an expressionless face. Chase couldn’t suppress his sorrow and sobbed violently.

<Grayson, he put my bird in the trash… And he told me I was weird, and Stacy and Nathaniel, everyone told me that I was wrong. Am I? Am I a weird kid?>

Chase burst into tears again. But his father just stared at him with dry eyes. After crying for a long time, exhausted and sobbing as if he would stop breathing, he spoke in his characteristic dry voice.

<Birds are useless.>

<…>

His mind, hazy from sobbing, couldn’t easily form thoughts. Chase looked up at him with a bewildered gaze. There was his father’s face, as cold as his tone. A face making the same expression as Nathaniel, Grayson, and his other brothers, who had looked at him.

Feeling tears welling up again, Chase spoke. His voice was thick and trembling.

<…They’re pretty, and they sing.>

That was the only protest he could make. But the answer he got was not much different.

<So what?>

Papa asked back, frowning. He truly didn’t understand. Just like his other brothers. At that moment, Chase lost all courage and desire to speak. To his son, who just stared with wide, blank eyes, his father spoke with an emotionless face.

<I’ll buy you a new one.>

That was all. He stroked Chase’s head once, as if that solved everything, then went up to his room. Chase was left alone again.

Hours later, Daddy returned, but Chase said nothing more about the bird. Daddy heard from Papa that Chase’s bird had died and felt sorry, but since his son showed no particular reaction, he let it go.

Chase realized the wound in his empty heart that night when he lay alone in bed. He realized then that he had subtly wished someone would notice his distress. But that never happened. That’s when he learned.

That he was completely an outsider among this family.

The tears that had stopped welled up again. He bit his lip to force them back, but the tears flowed regardless of his will.

Everyone in the world is the same. They all look at him with a ‘weird’ expression. They don’t understand, they pass by with an awkward laugh. And time just keeps flowing. Now he was tired of this lack of understanding and wanted nothing more. He just wanted to be left alone.

Someday, all of this will end.

When he opened his eyes, Chase didn’t realize his current situation for a moment. He just blinked his eyes, recalling the scenery that came into view.

He was leaning against the back seat of the car, just as he had been when he last lost consciousness. The surroundings were incredibly quiet. It felt as if all the desperate sounds he had heard were hallucinations. In the silence, as if the whole world had disappeared, only Chase’s low breathing could be heard.

His body reacted before his mind. Goosebumps rose all over him, and his eyes slowly widened.

What happened to that man?

He gasped without realizing it, and then sprang up.

Suddenly, a cold wind and a pungent scent came through the wide-open rear window of the car. Someone was smoking.

No way.

Chase slowly looked back. Beyond the car door, only part of the man’s body was visible. He hesitated, then approached the door and brought his face close. The glass was shattered, so he could feel the cold wind directly. Thanks to that, the outside scenery entered Chase’s vision without a filter.

He was standing a few steps away, his back to Chase, just as before. The hazy smoke around his face was enough to tell Chase that Josh was smoking. Chase stared blankly at his back for a moment.

His white shirt was crumpled and dirty, a complete mess. But even so, the dense back muscles wrapped in thin fabric could not be hidden. Even with the smallest movement of taking the cigarette from his mouth and putting it back, the shirt stretched slightly, clearly revealing his elegant and well-defined lines.

Slowly lowering his gaze, a narrow waist came into view. His eyes, which had briefly fixed on the firm buttocks that followed, then moved lower.

Suddenly, Chase frowned. The man’s legs were really long. The thought of him kicking the coyotes with those legs sent a momentary shiver down his spine. His kicks were truly excellent.

Now that I think about it, that man didn’t hit me as hard as the coyotes when he hit me.

Chase paused, realizing something he hadn’t known until now. Surely he didn’t go easy on me.

Just then, Josh flicked his cigarette ash, and their eyes accidentally met. He widened his eyes for a moment in surprise, then smiled as usual.

“Did you sleep well?”

Seeing his relaxed upturned lips and gentle eyes, Chase was momentarily flustered. Wasn’t this the time to be angry or annoyed? Why was he smiling?

Ignoring Chase’s thoughts, Josh readily walked closer. His appearance was truly a mess.

His clothes were torn and ragged in places, dried blood clung to various parts of his body, and the distinct bite marks from the coyote on his arm revealed raw red flesh. Up close, he looked almost entirely unharmed. Seeing his handsome face covered in blood and dust, with a scratch on one side, Chase’s gaze stopped completely.

Josh, misunderstanding his expression, took the cigarette from his lips and exhaled smoke. As Chase quietly watched, he glanced at the cigarette and said.

“I borrowed one. Sorry.”

His grinning face was far from apologetic. But it wasn’t sarcastic either. He’s got a nerve, Chase thought.

“Didn’t you say you quit?”

At his question, Josh narrowed his eyes and smiled again. His tired face unexpectedly captivated Chase’s gaze. As Chase stared blankly, Josh replied.

“I was bleeding. Cigarettes are harmful in every way, but they’re good for constricting blood vessels.”

Josh demonstratively inhaled the smoke, then exhaled it in a long stream. The cigarette smoke, cutting through the air in a straight line, scattered into nothingness. Chase watched it quietly.

“…Your face hurts.”

He belatedly realized he had said it like a sigh without meaning to. But Josh’s reaction was disappointingly normal. “Is it?” he said, then casually brought the cigarette to his mouth. That was his only reaction. Instead, Chase was dumbfounded and blinked.

“…Is that all?”

At his incredulous question, Josh tilted his head in confusion. He was truly sincere. He seemed to have no interest at all in the fact that his face might be scarred. Moreover, he even said this:

“It happens sometimes when you’re working.”

Chase’s mind went blank. Perhaps it showed on his face, because Josh suddenly burst into laughter. Chase was dumbfounded again by his bright smile.

Why is he laughing? Is this something to laugh about?

He couldn’t understand why at all, but his smiling face was surprisingly handsome. So much so that he thought he could watch it until he died and never get tired of it.

Josh brought the cigarette to his lips. A red flame crackled and flared, then faded to gray. He exhaled a short puff of smoke this time, then bent at the waist.

Josh leaned his hand holding the cigarette on the car roof, bent his upper body, and met Chase’s eyes. They faced each other, nose to nose. Chase neither avoided his eyes, nor contorted his face, nor showed annoyance. Josh quietly looked at Chase, then spoke.

“Mr. Miller.”

His soft voice melted into Chase’s ears and disappeared. For a moment, a chill ran down his spine, but it wasn’t from the cold. Josh smiled and asked Chase, who was quietly watching him.

“May I kiss you?”