Into the Rose Garden Novel - Chapter 7 I know and, I know

Regardless of how it came to be, Aeroc was now carrying Kloff’s first child in his belly. It wasn’t something to boast about, but he also didn’t think he needed to cower or hide. Even if he tried to save face, there were no acquaintances contacting him now anyway.

The Alpha’s attitude, having acknowledged that his Omega was pregnant, had changed slightly. He didn’t hit Aeroc and checked on him once a day to ensure he was safe.

“You’re a little late today.”

“Ah, many people held me back in a hurry. These days, there are more than a few who suffer losses from foolish investments.”

Kloff spoke as he handed his coat, hat, and gloves to Martha. Aeroc was currently sitting in the drawing-room, a blanket over his knees, reading a book. He had nothing particular to do, and he had also decided to engage in some prenatal education for the child. He was currently engrossed in the works of ancient philosophers. Time passed quickly when he delved into classics where he had to ponder each line for several minutes, and above all, his mind felt at ease.

Initially, he had played the piano or violin in the music room, but now his belly was too big to sit at the piano, and his legs ached, preventing him from standing for long. There were songs he wanted to hear, but Kloff didn’t seem inclined to permit his outing or invite a musician, so he endured.

“Was there anything unusual today?”

Just as Aeroc, who was about to turn a page, was about to speak, Martha, who had finished tidying the coat, spoke first.

“He ate properly and exercised. The child is growing well. Other than that, he just sits there all day, idly reading.”

“The child will be smart, then.”

Aeroc’s expression hardened as he watched the two exchange words as if slandering him right in front of him, then he returned his gaze to the book. Kloff, who Aeroc thought would leave soon, sat on the sofa opposite him.

“What are you reading?”

“<Types of Sin>.”

Why had he chosen this book of all things today? And why did he ask something he usually didn’t? Aeroc hadn’t deliberately avoided his gaze, but he also didn’t feel the need to look at the person who was mockingly sneering. He was reading, after all.

“What does that book say? What type of sin is it when a pervert, lusting after another Alpha, instigates a gang rape of a heavily pregnant woman, leading to her death?”

His hand gripping the book tightened, his fingertips turning white. The page he was about to turn made a faint rustling sound.

“The sins this book refers to are metaphysical sins related to the mind, morality, and those that a social leader should not commit, unrelated to actual criminal law.”

“Ah. So that’s why you could commit such a sin without conscience. Because you weren’t taught. Wouldn’t it be better to read <Human Justice> before reading something like that? It would teach you the basic things a person should possess.”

At those words, Aeroc glared at Kloff, raising his eyes. His tone was sarcastic, yet his expression held a serious, murderous intent. He was tired of the raw hatred and condemnation that poured out now, without even a hint of pretense. Aeroc sighed softly and closed the book.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

He stood up and said he would go to bed first. Kloff did not stop him.

The bedtime service, originally performed by the butler, was now done by a sullen-faced Martha. She was Kloff’s confidante and was taking control of everything in the mansion, which had no butler.

“I’d like to have some warm tea before bed.”

“Tea isn’t good for the child.”

“The mother’s unhappiness isn’t good for the child either.”

At that, Martha, who was tidying the bed, glared sharply at him. She approached quickly, roughly stripped Aeroc’s clothes off, and put a white nightgown on him. Her hands were firm and sharp, like a strict nanny dealing with a naughty child. She forcibly pushed Aeroc onto the bed. Helplessly, he lay down and reached for the table to look at the unread book, but Martha slapped Aeroc’s hand painfully.

“What are you doing?”

“I cannot permit you to go to bed any later than this. Sleep is essential for the child’s growth.”

He was offended by her excessively harsh words, considering he was a grown adult, of higher status than her, and pregnant with her master’s child.

“No matter that you are Kloff’s housekeeper, you are going too far. Does your master know of your rudeness?”

He didn’t particularly like speaking ill of a servant directly, but he considered Martha uncontrollable, so he had no choice. Despite Aeroc’s scolding, she snapped back with cruel words, unconcerned.

“My master is currently rotting underground with a child who couldn’t even be born, so he probably wouldn’t know. So don’t try to play master to me, using your paltry pregnancy as an excuse.”

Oh. Martha must have been Raphiel’s servant. Only now did he understand why this middle-aged Omega had been so fierce. She would probably treat Aeroc cruelly like this for the rest of her life. Martha turned off the light and left without asking.

He wasn’t sleepy at all, but he lay in the dark room, staring blankly at the dark ceiling. Aeroc decided he would send her away once he gave birth to the child. No matter what, a deceased former wife’s servant didn’t seem very helpful for the child’s emotional development. Thinking about how to persuade Kloff for his sake, Aeroc embraced his swollen belly, which prevented him from lying straight, and closed his eyes.

Once Martha revealed her true feelings, she tormented Aeroc constantly. At first, he wanted to pass it off gracefully, but later it became excessive. She forced Aeroc, who had left a little food because it didn’t suit his taste, to eat it all.

“Some people can’t eat even if they want to. If you don’t eat it all, I’ll tell the master.”

“I don’t like fish. Give it to someone who wants it.”

“You’re eating it for the child, not for yourself. The paternal side has a tradition of feeding fish to pregnant women for generations.”

The moment he heard “you,” Aeroc raised his head and glared at Martha. The shocking choice of words made him miss everything she said afterward. No matter how fallen he was, a mere commoner could not use such language to a noble. Aeroc, unable to bear the rising anger and humiliation, his face slightly flushed, said in a stiff tone,

“I will send you away once I give birth to the child.”

At that, Martha scoffed.

“Who’s sending whom away?”

“As the birth mother of the child who will inherit the viscountcy, I can no longer tolerate your rudeness.”

“And do you think I can tolerate someone who is worse than a dog or a pig, who killed a pitiful, good master and his child, throwing a tantrum about food, not knowing their place?”

Blatant accusations pierced him. Aeroc couldn’t close his mouth. For a moment, he was stunned by the crude, unrefined language she spewed, then Aeroc, rarely, became angry.

“Get out immediately. My ears feel like they’re rotting from your vulgar language!”

“I, too, don’t want to breathe the same air as something that isn’t even human for a single moment.”

She continued to curse, and Aeroc, in shock, trembled, gripping the armrest of the chair. Unable to endure the sudden onset of fatigue, he went to bed early. Late at night, he heard Kloff and Martha’s voices through the slightly open door. Aeroc covered his ears with his hands.

From the next day, fish was added to every meal.

“Oh, it’s fish.”

Today, smoked red fish fillets came out of the grocery basket placed in front of the cabin. Neatly prepared for eating, they were seasoned with bay leaves and whole peppercorns, wrapped in clean paper. Given the skillful preparation, Martha must have put them there.

Fish was the hardest food to come by on the streets. He had certainly eaten fish countless times, but he couldn’t remember its taste at all. After contemplating what to do, he unwrapped it and placed it in a rustic earthenware dish, then put it into the hearth where there was still embers. He figured since it was fish, he could just grill it.

Soon, a delicious aroma wafted out, and his mouth watered without him realizing it. As soon as he opened the hot dish, a juicy, delicious grilled fish was revealed. Aeroc picked up a fork and speared a piece of flesh so tender it crumbled. He cautiously put it in his mouth, and it melted on his tongue. Suddenly, a strong hunger came over him.

“It’s delicious. Don’t you think so too?”

The child in his belly gave a faint kick as if responding. Laughter burst out. Indeed, the bloodline of a father who liked fish didn’t go anywhere. Yielding to the child’s repeated urging, Aeroc blew on the hot flesh and diligently ate it.

After a long time, he felt a food coma after feasting on fish. The child also seemed satisfied, as there was no fetal movement and it was quiet. He had intended to wait for Kloff, whom he hadn’t met yet today, but his heavy eyelids didn’t give him a break and kept bringing darkness. He couldn’t hold out much longer, and Aeroc sat on the floor beside the bed, leaning his upper body on the bed, and fell sound asleep.

The first childbirth was a continuous fear. Aeroc couldn’t lie in bed and clung to the sofa cushion like a castaway in the vast ocean clinging to a rotting plank of wood. He buried his face in the soft cotton and screamed all the screams he would ever scream in his life.

“Bear it! What’s so painful!”

He couldn’t hear the harsh words. Aeroc felt his lower body being torn apart, and his mind was hazy; he wished someone would just cut him open down there. Soon, the doctor came in. Physiological tears welled up but didn’t flow. Instead, cold sweat, snot, and saliva messed up his pale face.

“The birth canal is still far from opening.”

“It hurts so much. Please… please save me.”

Aeroc forgot all sense of dignity and clung to the doctor. The doctor, who rolled up his sleeves and lifted his damp clothes, smiled awkwardly.

“Hmph. What good is it to complain about dying like this? It will be several times more painful when your pelvis really starts to open later.”

“Please.”

“Bear it. It’s your first birth, so it will probably take a long time. Take deep breaths. Inhale like this, then exhale. Your pelvis is small, so it will be difficult.”

The deep breaths the doctor instructed helped a little, but soon intense pain returned, and Aeroc, forgetting deep breaths and everything else, tore at the cushion and screamed at the top of his lungs.

He couldn’t understand why he had to endure such pain. He was an Alpha. He was an Alpha. Why did he have to become an Omega and writhe in pain as if his body was splitting in half?

Guilt or atonement meant nothing in the face of extreme pain. He just resented it. He deeply resented the man outside the door, who was looking at him and having a serious conversation with the doctor. He knew exactly his intention in impregnating him.

Seeing the feigned worried expression he put on in front of the doctor, Aeroc gritted his teeth so hard his teeth felt loose. He didn’t want to show tears here. Enduring this much pain was enough. He didn’t want to shed useless, sentimental secretions to maximize the other person’s satisfaction.

“Aaaargh. Ugh. Ugh.”

Gasping for breath, Aeroc buried his face in the already damp cushion.

Aeroc, who had been in labor since morning, finally gave birth to the child around sunset. Exhausted, he didn’t even have the energy to blink and lay there, clutching the torn cushion, breathing faintly, while Kloff’s voice buzzed in his ears.

“It’s an Omega boy. He has blond hair.”

“Congratulations, Viscount.”

“Martha, take the child to the room.”

Where are you taking him? Show him to me. I carried him in my belly for nine months and broke my pelvis giving birth to him!

Aeroc thought he was screaming, but no one seemed to hear him.

A tall man appeared in his blurry vision.

“He’s not dead, is he?”

“He’s just exhausted. He lost a considerable amount of blood, but it’s not dangerous. However, his body has been under a lot of strain, so I recommend contraception in the future if possible.”

“That’s none of your concern.”

When he cut him off sharply, the doctor didn’t argue further.

Soon, other people came in, lifted the limp Aeroc, and took him somewhere. He couldn’t remember clearly. It was because he had fainted midway. However, when he opened his eyes again with a body that felt like it would break, he was in a dilapidated hut he had never seen before. Aeroc couldn’t understand it at all and thought it was a dream. And then he lost consciousness again. While he was in his last deep sleep, the beginning of a cruel reality, a true revenge, awaited him.

At first, he couldn’t believe it. How could an Omega who had given birth to his child be confined in such an unclean and desolate place? A dirty wooden bed in a dusty room with no light.

Aeroc, still unable to walk properly, dragged his aching body out of the hut. The mansion was visible in the distance. He covered his still-swollen belly with one hand and supported himself with the other, grabbing onto whatever he could, like a branch, as he walked. Occasionally, something warm flowed between his legs, and he knew it was blood without looking. Barefoot, without even slippers, he stepped on sharp, painful gravel, like a thorn bush, all the way to the rose garden. He probably would be visible from here.

Far away, through the bright window, he saw Martha holding the child wrapped in long lace. She looked joyful, as if it were her own grandchild. Kloff, who was smiling down at the newborn beside her, raised his head and their eyes met. His gentle smile vanished, replaced by a cold sneer. He opened the large window, which also served as a balcony, came out, and stood before Aeroc.

“Can you walk already? Oh, you’re bleeding.”

“It hurts. And I’m cold.”

“Of course, you’re wearing such thin clothes. If you’re cold, go back and light the stove. If it hurts, take the painkiller I left for you.”

Even a stranger wouldn’t be so heartless. He couldn’t support his trembling knees and grabbed the arm wrapped in a luxurious shirt. He grumbled softly, but instead of pushing him away, he supported Aeroc’s elbow with his hand.

“Why should I be there? What about the child?”

“Don’t worry about the child. And that’s your place now. If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

He couldn’t understand what he was saying at all. No, he didn’t want to understand. Aeroc clutched the shirt in his hand.

“I gave birth to your child.”

“You returned one of the things you took from me. But my lost first child won’t come back.”

“I asked you to return my wife and child. So…”

Dark brown eyes looked down at Aeroc with no emotion.

“So what? Now that you’ve given birth to my child, are you going to act as my wife?”

Ah. At that moment, Aeroc was at a loss for how to react. He hadn’t meant to replace Raphiel. He simply thought that as the birth mother, he naturally had the responsibility and right to care for the child.

“I’ll raise the child well, so don’t worry. At least I won’t raise him to be a villain who commits crimes and shamelessly walks around with his head held high.”

“But…”

“I said you could leave if you didn’t like it. I hope you don’t show such a disgraceful sight by appearing in front of the mansion with that dirty appearance again. What was it you said? Ah, that a noble’s reputation is tarnished if they have neglected acquaintances. I, too, need to care about my reputation now, so would you help me? I’ll send you the fish already prepared so you don’t hurt your fingers.”

Looking at the cruel man who chose only the most painful words without any curses, Aeroc felt the world plunge into darkness. And everything sank lower and lower.

Was this revenge? Had he bowed his head and bided his time for this? To wander forever in such an abyss of darkness. He had lost his fortune, his family, his people, his child. All that remained was himself. If he had taken everything, he would have withered away in eternal oblivion. It was a more cruel revenge precisely because he hadn’t taken the last thing. Lying on the hard bed that only pushed his tired body away, Aeroc decided to abandon his last remaining self.

He ate nothing and drank nothing. He had neither the energy nor the will. The quiet hut remained undisturbed. It would be a lonely death. But solitude would hide even that loneliness. When truly nothing remained, peace came instead. His body, already drained of life, quickly withered.

One day, two days. It didn’t feel like much time had passed, but he could feel his breath weakening and his heartbeat slowing. His hearing, which was still working erratically despite his vision having given up, gradually lost its strength and brought silence. Disappearing like this seemed the most fitting end.

As life dried up and even the last drop evaporated, Aeroc felt his body floating. A certain ascetic’s testimony, “<To Paradise>”, which he had once read, said that death was like a gentle breeze. Carried by the breath of God, whether to the shining sky or the distant depths of the earth, a person floats like a bubble until they reach their destined destination. Yes. He was floating now. But why was it so warm? The ascetic hadn’t recorded that death was warm.

In his fading vision, he saw a grim reaper, holding his dirty soul carefully in his arms, carrying him. Dark brown hair and a sharply chiseled, strong face. Unwavering eyes that stared at people. Some called the grim reaper a terrifying god, but at least to Aeroc, he was a very kind and gentle god. That’s why he appeared in his final moments. He felt as if he could tell the grim reaper everything he hadn’t been able to say. Aeroc moved his arms, which he could barely feel, and wrapped them around his neck. Then he buried his nose in the strong shoulder and inhaled his scent.

Kloff.

He always thought of him as his Alpha. It was very difficult and painful, but he was glad to be his Omega. The end wasn’t good. It was the price of his foolishness, so there was nothing he could do. If there was a next time…

“There is no next time. Your sin is by no means light enough to die from something like this.”

The grim reaper’s voice was cold enough to freeze the air. To the very last, his heart grew chillingly cold.

“Gasp.”

Aeroc gasped for breath and opened his eyes. Just moments ago, he had been giving birth and dying alone. He quickly touched his belly. He felt a large, taut swelling. With that, he raised his head and saw a slice of blue sky through the open casement window. It was still bright in the daytime.

Ah. He must have had a dream. He seemed to have had such a nightmare because of his prone position on the bed. Aeroc gathered his creaking joints and gently patted them with a light fist.

Each time he gave birth, the initial pain occasionally came back to him. Back then, he was much healthier, yet his belly hurt more. And the despair was as great as the hope he had held. At least to the point of attempting suicide. What was most terrifying was what came after. Kloff never forgave him for trying to die so easily. He had tried to die once more afterward, but each time he was brought back to life by him. Even now, trying would be useless. And now, he didn’t really want to die anymore.

If he kept sitting on the floor like this, his water might break at the wrong time. To change his mood, he got up and went out of the hut. The mansion and the rose garden were visible. Aeroc smiled, grateful for their unchanging appearance today.

He recalled the ascetic’s final record: that one finds the path to paradise only when they abandon many things. This place was no longer an abyss. The person here now was Aeroc, not Count Teiwind. Kloff’s Omega. With a light body, possessing nothing, he had already reached paradise, carried by a gentle breeze. This time, waiting for his Alpha to come with their child, was incredibly happy.