Into the Rose Garden Novel - Chapter 45

The weather was exceptionally fine. Hugo had set up a spot on the upstairs terrace without being asked. On the round table was a moderately sized vase decorated with seasonal flowers. It was a common table setting, as a butler of a prestigious family was expected to be skilled in flower arrangement, yet Aeroc felt somehow embarrassed. Today, the teacups were adorned with flower patterns, making him want to ask if it was intentional, but since bringing up that topic with Hugo again would be even more embarrassing, he quietly kept his mouth shut.
“He’s late.”
Aeroc, waiting, watched a plain black carriage without any insignia pull into the mansion’s driveway. Bendyke arrived slightly later than the time he had informed him. Compared to the famous latecomers in society, he was punctual enough to seem to have clocks on both feet, but it was unexpected for a meticulous miser.
When he was guided into the terrace room, Aeroc instinctively tried to stand up. However, Bendyke waved his hand, signaling him to remain seated. It was an inappropriate reception for a host, but it also felt strange to be overly formal between them. Skipping the formalized greetings, he immediately spoke what was on his mind, as if they had parted yesterday and met today.
“You look much better than I expected.”
Bendyke, sitting in the opposite chair, merely replied with a slight upturn of his lips.
“I received what you sent. Thanks to it, I drank a bowl of that muddy herbal tea morning and night.”
“That muddy water has an excellent calming effect.”
“Was it a gift of goodwill?”
His feigned surprise matched his insolent smile perfectly.
“To dare to expect goodwill from me. Did you get another gunshot wound to the head?”
“I knew it. It tasted terrible. And what magic did you cast on Martha to make her sing your praises?”
Aeroc tilted his head, not understanding.
“I thought some secret admirer sent it, saying you were a beautiful young man. Turns out you’re a wicked employer. I’m disappointed.”
“I should have mixed poison in it and melted your annoying tongue.”
Exchanging ordinary insults about the gift and card he sent, Aeroc carefully observed his condition. He moved his injured arm very slowly. His long fingertips bent and straightened slightly without issue. It seemed no particular disability remained.
“At least you’re safe. I’d rather not see even an unpleasant person die in front of me. It would have given me bad dreams.”
“Unfortunately, the gun they had was old and defective, so my bones and muscles are fine. I bled quite a bit, but the excessive excitement subsided, and I actually feel refreshed.”
He snorted at the words, unsure if they were a joke or serious. But inwardly, he was displeased. Bendyke casually prattled on and drank tea, but it was by no means an injury to be dismissed so easily. After all, it was a gunshot wound, wasn’t it? For an ordinary person, it would be an injury requiring a week of bed rest. Yet, after only a few days, Bendyke was working and going out as if nothing had happened. It was suspicious to simply think of it as a naturally healthy constitution. After all, he was constantly taking some unknown, potent sedative.
“I heard the medicine you always take isn’t just for headaches.”
“Where did you hear that?”
“The doctor explained it after a certain someone, who emptied two bottles, passed out completely. He said it was a tranquilizer. And one bottle could put a bull to sleep.”
Bendyke, reacting indifferently, leaned comfortably in the chair he had deliberately chosen for his large frame and gazed at some part of the sun-drenched garden.
“It’s nothing.”
With that, he crossed his long legs. He rested one hand on his crossed legs and lightly moved his fingers. Now that he thought about it, he seemed to do that when he was troubled or didn’t want to answer. He looked into the distance, then finally met Aeroc’s gaze and fabricated an obvious lie.
“Anyone who wrestles with numbers suffers from some kind of neurosis. Unlike nobles who just squander their gracefully accumulated wealth, my kind has to work to make a living. When you’re forced to do things you dislike, some get toothaches, some get headaches, and some can’t sleep at night due to terrible itching. In my case, it’s a neurosis accompanied by excitement.”
“That’s quite different from the doctor’s explanation.”
“Doctors tend to overreact. That’s how they scare patients into paying more.”
He couldn’t bring himself to ask if it was drug addiction. He looked too normal. Perhaps he had taken so much that day because of the gunshot wound. As Aeroc didn’t remove his distrustful gaze, Bendyke suddenly smiled thinly. Playfulness flowed from his narrowed eyes.
“Are you that worried about me?”
“To be precise, I’m worried that my financial manager will succumb to neurosis and cause great losses by doing strange things.”
Even though he gave a legitimate reason, the other’s smile deepened. He seemed to be quite enjoying this conversation, unlike Aeroc. Or rather, Aeroc also enjoyed it. The only difference was that while it was enjoyable, unlike the relaxed other, a surge of irritation welled up in him.
“I thought I was fired.”
“Then why are you here, having been fired? You were the one who made the appointment first.”
“You’re treating your benefactor, who risked his life to save you, too harshly. I’m hurt.”
Far from being hurt, his tone suggested he was dying of enjoyment. Aeroc calmed his boiling temper with a deep breath. That man shook his reason, which he believed to be firm, too easily. Hugo said he made Aeroc feel alive, but if he only made him furious, would there be any meaning in being alive? Noticing Aeroc’s irritation, Bendyke chuckled amusingly. Covering half his mouth with his index finger, revealing his canine teeth as he laughed, he said in a surprisingly docile tone.
“You’re sparkling even more today.”
“What kind of trick is this?”
“Literally. You’re particularly radiant.”
Not only his trusted butler but also his distrusted financial manager suddenly became strange. Was he really that different from usual? Aeroc couldn’t tell. Unlike with Hugo, he had no intention of revealing his true feelings to Bendyke. He frowned and responded with an awkward cough. Bendyke then leaned his upper body forward.
“You’re much younger and more vibrant than I remembered. I thought you were a cold-blooded human with a nose as sharp as ice, piercing the sky.”
“I apologize for being a noble of excellent character, so noble and elegant that I can hardly be considered a mere human.”
“I didn’t praise you that much.”
“Shouldn’t a pervert who flirts with a cold-blooded noble praise them, even if it’s just empty words?”
He glared, expressing his displeasure without reservation. Bendyke then burst into hearty laughter. It was the first time he had heard such relaxed laughter from him.
“You’re right. I guess it is. My mistake.”
“If you know, then from now on, instead of other people’s noses, try to humble your own arrogant nose. Even if it’s a world where commoners can act like nobles if they have the ability, be grateful that I, Count Teiwind, deign to associate informally with a mere gentry.”
“I truly express my gratitude, Count.”
To his surprise, the reply contained no sarcasm or malice. It seemed genuine, making him fearfully scrutinize the man. He couldn’t detect any arrogant sneer in the gesture of him running a hand through his slightly disheveled hair. He looked genuinely at ease. A freshness bloomed on his face, which looked as if God had worked hard on it but neglected the finishing touches. His intense gaze, rising from the depths of a swamp, now shone with only seriousness. His expression changed instantly. His playful countenance and soft tone, combined with an inherent strength, made Bendyke incredibly attractive. It seemed he was the one who was young and vibrant.
“I mean it. Thank you for not forgetting someone like me and meeting me again.”
“Retorting insults with such sincerity is cheating. You’re exceptionally strange today. Why are you suddenly being so compliant? If you want something, just say it. Don’t be so scary.”
Still, Aeroc was wary, wondering if he was hiding something. Yet, Bendyke didn’t express exaggerated indignation; he just smiled.
“You told me to praise you, and now you don’t like it? You’re fickle.”
“I just don’t like it coming from your damned mouth. When have I ever done as you told me, and why are you suddenly complying so readily?”
Bendyke chuckled again.
“Truly, one cannot trust human memory. To think you have such a fun and cute personality.”
“I’ve always wondered, when did you see me to act like you know me so well?”
“Didn’t I tell you before?”
“Don’t even bring up dreams. I hate being treated like a child. Just tell another lie.”
“Another lie, you say.”
He was silent for a moment, then gazed at Aeroc. The hostility was gone, but instead, melancholy surfaced. Pain and sadness were also visible. Bendyke, who had suddenly shed the mask of arrogance and rudeness, was a completely different person from his previous memory.
“I only have painful memories, so I don’t really want to talk about them. However, I’m trying not to mess up when a second chance comes.”
“I apologize for driving you away roughly from the mansion. But didn’t you cause the reason for that? I didn’t know you then. I swear.”
“I know.”
“Then I hope you also know that I feel sorry for the misfortune you had to endure because of it.”
“Do you know what kind of hell I’ve been through?”
If he said that, Aeroc had nothing to say. A young alpha male with no connections in the capital would have suffered considerable hardship and disdain until he established himself in society. The grand party in the rose garden was an event to give such young men an opportunity, and since he was publicly humiliated and driven away from there, Aeroc inferred that Bendyke must have experienced considerable difficulties.
“I don’t know everything, but I understand to some extent.”
“Really?”
Bendyke asked back in surprise. His gaze towards Aeroc burned with an indescribable fervor. He seemed to have high expectations. Aeroc immediately regretted his casual answer.
“I appoint you as my lifelong financial manager. Your salary will be doubled, no, tripled.”
He offered a considerable reward for saving his life and for the previous insult. But it seemed to be different from what Bendyke had hoped for. The other’s expectations evaporated without a trace. He gave an awkward smile and leaned back in his chair again. It was a comfortable posture, but also one filled with deep disappointment.
“Of course, I will always provide tea time like today’s.”
He added a very personal reward, just in case. Just as he was about to add that he could use the Violet Room whenever he needed it, a dry voice replied.
“You really don’t know anything, do you?”
His tone was bitter. Sadness and pain briefly flickered across his masculine face, then disappeared behind a faint, almost expressionless smile. The mask was back. The change was so dramatic that Aeroc felt as if he had truly forgotten something. But he hadn’t experienced any great life upheaval to cause amnesia, and if there had been such an incident involving Bendyke, Hugo or Viscount Derbyshire would not have remained silent. He should have known about it somehow.
“If there’s something I’ve forgotten, I hope you’ll explain it to me.”
This was the best answer Aeroc could give him. Bendyke looked at him with pain-filled eyes, then slowly shook his head.
“No. It’s better not to know.”
“Why, because you don’t want to mess up the second time too?”
The words he had heard in the slums suddenly came to mind. At that, Bendyke’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. And he half-rose, asking in a desperate tone as if he was about to rush at Aeroc.
“Do you really… really not remember? Or do you know but are pretending not to?”
“What?”
“If you knew…”
“If I knew?”
Aeroc, surprised in turn, widened his eyes and stared at him. The other man slowly sat back down.
“…You wouldn’t be dealing with me.”
The words, whispered very quietly, seemed like a monologue rather than an answer. He closed his mouth and sank into his own world. His gaze, filled with sad pain, was cast far away again. At the end of it was a rose garden with budding flowers and, beyond that, a neglected shack.
“Aren’t you reading a book today?”
Just as Aeroc was pondering how to break the awkward silence, Bendyke spoke first.
“I don’t have the confidence to calmly immerse myself in reading while dealing with that damned man.”
“That’s a shame. Then how about a violin performance?”
He replied playfully. A calm voice tinged with regret replied.
“How did you know I play the violin as a hobby? Did you investigate me?”
“Nobles usually know how to play one or two instruments, don’t they? Piano or violin. I just took a guess.”
He offered a plausible excuse again, but the suspicion that had arisen didn’t subside. Thinking about it, there were more than one suspicious aspect. From their first meeting, when he acted like a swindler and was kicked out, his every move was enigmatic.
“Viscount Derbyshire? Or Lady Westport?”
He named the two most talkative among their mutual acquaintances. The other shrugged as if he knew nothing. As he feigned ignorance without any solemnity or awkward laughter, his suspicion gradually solidified into conviction.
“Your quality is quite bad.”
“You already knew that.”
“The words ‘even more than before’ were omitted.”
As he openly revealed his displeasure, the other man, who had been stroking his lips with his hand, smiled annoyingly as always. But his eyes still looked painfully sad. Pain tinged with sadness. Wasn’t that the emotion least suited to a miser? Aeroc didn’t dare to face him any longer. So he left, using the excuse of getting his violin.
The music room where the violin was kept was far from the terrace. By the time he returned, his embarrassment had subsided, and he had regained his composure. Bendyke, sitting on the terrace, was still motionless, gazing at the rose garden.
“Do you have a request?”
When Aeroc spoke, Bendyke slightly curved his lips and shook his head. His complexion had visibly paled in the short time. Aeroc thought he should rest, but Bendyke answered, and he missed the chance to ask.
“Anything, whatever.”
“I feel like a cheap pub musician.”
Aeroc put the violin on his shoulder and thought for a moment. There was no need to play a difficult piece. That man’s ears must surely only hear the jingle of money. He didn’t like easy pieces. Most suitable pieces were lyrical. Not very appropriate for an alpha male’s performance, but thinking about it, there was nothing wrong with playing it for today’s guest. After all, their acquaintance had been built on that kind of meaning.
Slowly, he pressed the strings and began to move the bow. The piece, starting thin and delicate, moved through gentle curves and quickly entered the realm of deep emotion. It was Aeroc’s favorite piece, one that made him dream of dedicating it to any lovers who might be present if he were to hold a nocturnal concert in the rose garden someday. It felt a waste to play it in the middle of the day, and for such an arrogant man. But whatever it was, it was appropriate as solace for the pain and sadness briefly glimpsed in a man who harbored deep secrets. And also for a brief rest for the pale-faced injured man.
He continued with his favorite pieces, one after another. All of them were selections for a nocturnal concert, soft pieces with beautiful melodies. The long performance, without any conversation, ended when Aeroc discovered the other man asleep.
“Is he really asleep?”
Bendyke, leaning back in the chair, had his chin resting on the back of one hand, his eyes closed. The mansion’s shadow made his already pale face appear even colder. If not for the subtle movement of his evenly rising and falling chest, he would have looked like a corpse. The days were getting warmer. Even in the shade, a fully dressed adult alpha male would certainly not feel cold. But the white marble terrace floor felt as cold as a snowfield. It seemed to be because Bendyke was standing on it.
A few strands of his dark hair gently moved in the leisurely flow of air. He unconsciously reached out a hand to the hair gently swaying above his long, straight nose. Contrary to appearances, his skin was warm. He had known it before, but Bendyke had a high body temperature. It was probably due to his highly active constitution. He was also a man of great vigor. It wasn’t just a nocturnal metaphor. He must have lived by saving and cutting time to rise from nothing to where he was. He was a person who lived a life completely opposite to Aeroc’s. If he hadn’t annoyed Aeroc at their first meeting, Aeroc wouldn’t have even looked at him, and he wouldn’t have been playing a lullaby for him, asleep here. This man was an extremely annoying thorn, an unsolved mystery, and at the same time, an infinitely intriguing enigma.
“I want to know more about you.”
The moment he actually touched the ripple thrown into his calm life, the man who had been sleeping like a corpse moved. Startled, Aeroc recoiled, and Bendyke, frowning his dark eyebrows, groaned painfully. It seemed his shoulder hurt. He felt he should call a doctor immediately.
As he entered the reception room connected to the terrace and placed the violin on the decorative table against the wall, a sudden clatter sounded. The tall man had suddenly woken up and was just coming out of the terrace.
“Aeroc.”
Before he could answer the call, he hastily ran out of the reception room. He had opened the door so forcefully that the doorknob hit the wall with a loud bang!
“Hey, Bendyke.”
A startled Aeroc chased after him. Aeroc wasn’t the only one who came running, wondering what was happening. He encountered Hugo and other employees in the hallway.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Saying that, Aeroc hastily followed Bendyke, who was running. He quickly descended the stairs and passed through the entrance.
On a scorching afternoon, in the rose garden, diligent gardeners were busy digging, fertilizing, pruning overgrown branches, and spraying insecticide on budding flowers. The middle-aged gardener, who had tended the Count’s proud rose garden for a considerable period, though not as long as Hugo, always wore his favorite shabby work clothes despite being well-paid. His tough canvas work clothes were stained and worn, and his straw hat had holes in places. He favored the hat, claiming the wind blowing through the holes made it cooler, even though it was more than ten years old. He was meticulously observing the rosebuds, contemplating which ones to thin out.
“Aeroc!”
When the unfamiliar gentleman called his master’s name and ran towards him, he dropped his pruning shears. A rough hand grabbed him and turned him around. He had only seen the master’s guest from a distance once or twice.
“Did… did I do something wrong?”
He stammered in surprise. He couldn’t properly see the man’s expression, who was backlit, but he could clearly discern his chilling gaze.
“Ah.”
With a short gasp, as soon as the grip on him loosened, the gardener quickly left. The Count, his master, who wielded great influence, was generally lenient with his subordinates, but not everyone he associated with was. There were many instances of being reprimanded for mistakes. In such cases, it was better to leave quickly. He could find the pruning shears later.
Bendyke, who had released the gardener, stood blankly in the sunlight. Aeroc, who arrived belatedly, carefully approached him, catching his breath.
“Bendyke?”
He called from behind, but there was no response. The other man had his head bowed, muttering something, and covered his face with both hands. His large shoulder blades outlined themselves beneath his perfectly tailored jacket. At the same time, his proud back slowly curved. It was a sign of despair. Aeroc approached him, his mouth agape. He gently placed a hand on his prominent shoulder blade and looked at his bowed face. Moisture briefly glistened between his long fingers covering his face.
“Bendyke… Kloff?”
He called him again in a low voice. The man, who had ignored his familiar appellation, slowly raised his head at the mention of “Kloff,” which Aeroc had used for the first time.
Sneering and pretense, often anger, and rarely pure joy, suited him. But not now. His swamp-like eyes were a mixture of immeasurable pain and sorrow. He looked as if he had been struck by lightning. His dark pupils were wide, and his slightly parted lips trembled faintly, hinting at the immense, inexplicable shock he was experiencing.
“Ae… Aeroc?”
“What’s wrong all of a sudden? Are you hurt somewhere?”
“Aeroc.”
The fingertips slowly approaching him trembled as if frostbitten. His cold fingertips seemed about to touch Aeroc’s cheek, which was looking at him worriedly. But they didn’t, even as the goosebumps disappeared and the fine hairs settled down. Instead, they traced the outline of his cheek repeatedly, as if unable to actually touch it. In the meantime, the astonishment on his pale face slowly crumbled, replaced by deep pain mixed with inexplicable sorrow. His lips, clearly too wet to utter a voice, only repeated his name.
“Aeroc.”
“I’m here.”
Aeroc answered obediently to the calls that seemed about to break off. He was gradually being colored by the other’s emotions. What on earth was so sad and painful? What was he thinking, searching for him? What memories did he possess to wear such a poignant expression? His earlier insult of him as an insensitive miser seemed meaningless. What he saw were the eyes of a poet singing despair, the voice of a singer crying out with a torn heart, and the gestures of a painter surveying the precipice of a collapsing life. It was a pitiful soul punctuated by pain.
Aeroc, stepping further into the shadow of the man backlit by the brilliant sunlight, raised his head. The whispers subsided. Only heated breaths passed between lips that seemed close enough to touch. Aeroc pressed his wet lips against the other’s dry ones. They touched gently, then parted. And changing the angle, he pressed his lips together again. As he closed his eyes and existed in a world filled only with red and green, he felt only the other’s breath. Dazzling heat seeped through their connected lips. As Aeroc stretched out his arms and embraced the tall man, his two hands, wandering in the air, settled on Aeroc’s shoulders. As the kiss continued, his long fingers gradually tightened.
He tried to part their lips, which had met several times, and push his tongue out. Just then, Bendyke suddenly turned his head and roughly pushed Aeroc away. He pushed him so hard that Aeroc almost fell.
“What?”
Aeroc looked at him in surprise. Bendyke, unable to hide his bewilderment, ran a hand through his hair. His expression rapidly hardened into a cold one.
“I seem to have had a seizure.”
His voice was low and rough. His fingertips still trembled, but his eyes had turned into cold shards of ice. Bendyke turned his body.
“I apologize, but I’ll go back today. I will apologize for today’s discourtesy another time.”
There was no particular discourtesy. Aeroc had initiated the kiss, and although he had acted strangely before that, a momentary lapse in a wounded person, perhaps a delusion, was something he could generously overlook. Moreover, it was just a mistake of someone suffering from neurosis. More than that, he was curious about the memory that caused him such despair, and if he could, he wanted to comfort him. But Bendyke seemed uninterested in such things. He didn’t return to the mansion but walked straight across the garden.
“Bendyke?”
He called him several times, but he never looked back.
Bendyke, who left the mansion with his mouth tightly shut, did not appear for several days. Eventually, the report that arrived contained a brief message instead of a date and time: he would be busy for a while and unable to visit the mansion. The aching in Aeroc’s heart, which had begun that day, still troubled him.