In This Life I Will Be The Lord Novel - Side Story, Chapter 10

Perhaps because of the candlelight in the room, his red eyes were even deeper and more luminous.
“I feel like I’m going to be enchanted…”
My true feelings slipped out of my lips without me realizing it.
“Enchant me.”
Perhaps Perez felt the same way.
“Please do, Tia.”
As if pleading, and as if tempting.
Perez’s face, whispering like that, gradually drew closer.
In the space of a long breath in and out, we were so close our noses tickled.
But Perez didn’t move any further.
He just looked deeply into me, as if trying to draw something from the depths of my being.
So I asked.
“Are you greedy?”
Ah, I must be drunk.
I thought that the moment the words left my mouth.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t ask such a thing while sober.
My dazed mind, as if enchanted by Perez, cleared, and I felt myself gradually returning to my senses.
At the same time, I knew.
That Perez, who was holding me, wasn’t drunk at all.
But the voice that soon flowed from Perez was clearly that of someone intoxicated.
“I’m greedy for you.”
“Perez…”
“All of you.”
A shallow shiver ran through me.
It wasn’t a bad feeling.
But I felt like I would truly be enchanted if I stayed like this, and eventually give him my soul.
So I just tried to turn my head.
“Hey, hey, just a moment.”
“I’m drunk right now, so think of everything I’m saying as drunken nonsense, Tia.”
A lie.
He wasn’t drunk at all.
But his gaze, which didn’t leave me for a second, looked so desperate that I couldn’t help but nod.
“I, Tia, wish you were mine.”
He said that, holding me tightly in his arms so I couldn’t move at all.
“I want your smile, even your gentle touch, to be all for me. I want all your beautiful appearances to be mine and for only me to see.”
Every single word seemed to drip with thick possessiveness.
“That’s why I’m angry.”
“Angry?”
“Because I didn’t know you ate spicy food well, or that you become so cute when you drink. Someone else knew first.”
“Such trivial things… I mean, your appearance was a little unfamiliar to me today, but…”
“It’s not trivial, Tia. Nothing about you is trivial.”
Perez rubbed his forehead against my hair and said.
“I can’t be your very first.”
Startled.
Whether he knew I had stiffened slightly or not, Perez pulled my shoulder even closer.
As if he believed that doing so would make us one.
“I can’t do that. Because you are my everything.”
His face, which had momentarily moved away, slowly approached me again.
Kissing between us was common now.
Perez always preferred to express his affection for me through actions rather than words.
But this time was different.
I had a premonition.
Was it because we were pretending to be newlyweds?
Or was it due to the alcohol?
Perhaps it was even the scent of roses scattered on the bed.
‘Is this okay?’
I asked myself.
The answer came quickly.
‘It’s Perez, so it’s fine.’
It was when I decided to approach him, who had always come to me alone.
Rustle.
With a small sound that only we in this world could hear, Perez’s hair fell, casting a faint shadow.
It was the golden hair, still unfamiliar.
Black hair suited Perez better.
I wished I hadn’t given him the dye out of curiosity.
I just paused for a moment and thought that.
I swear to the heavens, that was all.
But then.
“…Don’t overdo it.”
Saying that in a low voice, he quickly pulled away from me.
And before I knew it, I was lying obediently on the bed, even covered by a blanket.
“I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
“…Huh?”
“Good night, Tia.”
Perez kissed my forehead heavily, picked up a pillow, and headed for the sofa on the opposite side of the room. I stared blankly at his retreating back.
“This…”
This isn’t right?
Why am I lying on the bed?
No, more importantly, why am I lying alone?
Weren’t we supposed to lie together tonight?!
I half-raised my body and intensely screamed with my eyes, but the only response was the sound of him flopping down onto the sofa.
At the same time, a sense of emptiness washed over me, and I lay my head down, feeling deflated.
My heart, still fluttering alone, felt sad.
‘Should I ask him to continue?’
I glanced at the sofa, tempted, but it was silent and still, as if he had already fallen asleep.
“…Sigh.”
Alright, let’s just sleep.
My body, tired from a full day of carriage travel, drinking, and then the sudden tension, happily accepted the rest.
As I felt myself quickly drifting off to sleep, I thought.
I’ll have to talk to him in the morning.
And I must also tell him this:
I think I prefer your natural black hair.
***
Listening to Tia’s regular, fading breaths, Perez quietly opened his eyes and sat up.
“Hoo.”
A tired sigh was muffled by the large hand sweeping across his face.
Just moments ago, the candle had burned out, leaving the room in complete darkness, but such things couldn’t hinder Perez.
Especially when he was with Tia, his five senses became doubly acute.
Like a hungry creature, desperate to absorb every sweet scent, every breath, every sound of laughter.
Perez, who had been staring into the darkness with dim eyes for a moment, slowly rose.
His footsteps, heading unhesitatingly towards the bed where she lay, were silent, like a beast hunting in the shadows.
Tia was asleep just a few steps from where he had been lying.
As if in the safest place in the world, completely defenseless.
Perez slowly climbed onto the bed.
But she felt no stir and remained deeply asleep.
He slowly reached out his hand.
The black shadow cast by the moonlight at that moment stretched over her body.
Shamelessly.
And so, the black hand boldly moved up her sleeping form.
But in the end, all it dared to touch was a single red rose petal clinging to her luscious hair.
It was always like this.
She was a brightly shining person, and he, a dark one, could only circle nearby.
While constantly worrying that his darkness might stain that precious being, he felt an ugly jealousy towards the things that shared her light.
“Hmm…”
On her deeply sleeping, peaceful face, the image of her earlier hesitation overlapped.
Even that fleeting glance in her beautiful green eyes, as if she were looking at a stranger.
Perez quietly frowned, feeling his chest constrict.
‘If only I could turn back time.’
If given such an opportunity, he would unhesitatingly turn back to the moment he opened the door to the rose-decorated room.
Perez roughly ran a hand through his bothersome hair.
Regret washed over him.
He wasn’t even truly drunk.
Yet he had revealed his dark inner thoughts.
And in his impatience, he had stumbled, frightening Tia.
He was afraid that when she woke up in the morning, she would remember and dislike him.
If she no longer smiled innocently at him, no longer shared her warmth…
Perez, who had buried his face in his knees in anguish, moved the hand that lay idly on the bed and sought out hers.
His fingertips trembled, trying not to grip the small, soft hand felt through the bedsheet too tightly.
His two eyes, which she had praised as ruby-like, were dry and blood-colored.
“I’m sorry.”
The low, barely uttered words scattered into the dark room.
***
“Kent, soldier of Sheshou. I’m checking your identification.”
I handed over the two IDs I had to the mustachioed soldier.
“Chaser and Larita Gloe, a married couple. Why have you come to Sheshou territory?”
“We’ve come to take the eastern passenger ship departing from Chesayu.”
“…Another guest from Chesayu.”
The Sheshou soldier muttered with a displeased frown.
Akedia, a small city in Sheshou bordering Lombardi territory, was located on the road from Lombardi to Chesayu.
However, the atmosphere felt distinctly different.
Unlike Lombardi territory, where people and carriages moved relatively freely, Akedia, with soldiers stationed everywhere, was filled with a chilling tension.
As if searching for someone.
“Since Chesayu is your destination, you won’t be staying long. Alright, you may enter.”
The soldier, returning the IDs with a perfunctory gesture, slapped the side of the carriage.
For a moment, Perez’s cold eyes turned towards him, but then the carriage started, leaving only silence.
“Ahem.”
I cleared my throat uncomfortably and fixed my gaze out the window.
After the grand plan failed, our journey had been in this state for two days.
A few brief conversations had occurred, but that was it; an uncomfortable silence soon followed.
After confirming that the carriage was entering the street where the lodging facilities were concentrated, I glanced at Perez.
He was propping his chin and looking out the opposite window.
What on earth was he thinking?
At times like these, his habit of not revealing his true feelings was truly inconvenient.
‘Well, he must be hurt, of course.’
Actually, I could guess Perez’s feelings without even asking.
He had expressed his feelings so honestly, and whether it was a misunderstanding or not, it must have seemed like I was avoiding him.
And considering his usual personality, he probably wasn’t angry with me.
Instead, he was probably beating himself up, thinking he had done something I disliked.
Just seeing him sitting so far away from me was enough to guess his train of thought.
‘I’m uncomfortable with this.’
I made up my mind as I got off the carriage, which had stopped in front of the inn we had booked.
“Perez, can we talk for a moment…”
It was when I said that and turned him around.
“Herox-nim?”
A delicate voice came from behind.
“Herox-nim… It is you, isn’t it?”
‘Herox’ was an alias Perez sometimes used.
He used it often when he attended the academy, though he had no need for it now.
I slowly turned towards the direction of the voice.
There stood a woman with a pure impression, her long brown hair neatly tied back.
Her hands, tightly clasped earnestly in front of her chest, and the blush on her cheeks clearly indicated something.
The woman seemed not to even see me standing next to Perez, taking a step closer to him and saying with large, tearful green eyes.
“I’m Lydia! Herox, you… remember me, don’t you?”
Wow. You’d better explain this properly, seriously.