I Became a Slave to the Man I Abandoned Novel (Completed) - Chapter 91

“…Rather than reading this…”

“You’d think it’s better to swing your sword one more time, but now you have to read.”

“…”

Even Khalid seemed to have no retort; he actually opened the book, if only as a gesture. Nox took out the history book he’d stopped reading ages ago and led Khalid to a seat by the window. Khalid quietly followed him and sat at the desk. The two of them, facing each other, opened their books and began to read.

Time trickled by, and how long had it been? Khalid slowly began to lose focus, glancing at Nox. Nox sensed his gaze but quietly continued to read the words on the page. No, to be precise, he started to make an effort to pretend to read, conscious of that gaze. It was just like when they were children.

“Can’t you focus?”

‘Looks like he can’t focus.’

The words from their childhood came back to him.

“No…”

‘Ah, no…!’

The same situation, the same answer as then, yet you and I are not the same as then. Nox felt a bitter taste in his mouth somehow and raised his head to look at Khalid. Khalid had said no, but it was clear he’d lost interest in the book. His eyes said it all. Even as a child, he’d make that expression when he wasn’t interested in something. Thinking back, it was rather funny. A servant showing his likes and dislikes in front of his master.

‘I did raise him with great care, didn’t I?’

Nox suddenly felt as if he’d returned to that time in his childhood. Back then, nothing had happened. He hadn’t abandoned Khalid, and Khalid hadn’t treated him this way.

Nox suddenly wished he could go back to that time. Long ago, when nothing had happened. Nox briefly turned his head to look out the window. And silently, he stared blankly into the empty air. Khalid, who had been observing Nox, couldn’t help but notice this change in him.

“What are you thinking?”

“Just…”

Khalid’s throat rumbled, a low growl. Something seemed to bother him.

“Do you want to go outside?”

“Ah…”

So that was it. Nox shook his head.

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“Not even a little.”

At Nox’s weak voice, Khalid’s tone softened slightly. Khalid looked out the window, just as Nox had been doing, and then suddenly spoke.

“There’s that maid you got along with well.”

“Ah, Ena…”

Ena was sitting in the garden, sighing. Her small frame seemed burdened with so many thoughts, her face full of worry.

Nox suddenly began to worry that something might be wrong with the child. But he couldn’t leave the estate right now, and Ena usually worked outside more than she did indoors. Even now—look at her.

He was inside, and Ena was outside. She sat in the garden for a long while, then eventually trudged out of sight. Nox quietly watched her retreating figure, then asked Khalid:

“Am I not allowed to meet with anyone else either?”

“…Hard to say.”

Which meant no. Nox nodded obediently. Ena had been the one who’d gone around with him most frequently before he was falsely accused of trying to run away… He had managed to return the small sum he borrowed last time through Marlene, the head maid. Thankfully, Marlene hadn’t questioned it too much, so Ena hadn’t been caught up in any trouble. Perhaps Marlene had known and simply pretended not to—but either way, Nox was grateful.

Suddenly, he thought of Jemeil.

His younger cousin, whom he had recklessly sent out of the capital. Even if Jemeil had made it safely outside the city, countless dangers were surely waiting for him. Thankfully, the boy had always eaten well and was tall for his age, but he’d grown thinner lately—and he wasn’t even an adult yet.

There were probably moments when he felt like dying. But Nox couldn’t protect him. That truth left a cold ache in his chest.

“In the end, I’ve never done a single thing right in my life.”

He hadn’t been able to stop his father. He hadn’t been able to protect Khalid properly. He’d been abandoned by the emperor. He hadn’t even made a decent slave. And now, he couldn’t even take responsibility for Jemeil to the end.

Nox thought, perhaps he really had no choice but to inherit his father’s blood. A long time ago, the mere fact that he shared blood with his father had disgusted him—but now, he didn’t care. He still hated his father, still thought he was filthy, but Nox no longer believed he himself was worthy of any respect either. He had achieved nothing, and likely never would. Far too…

Sunlight streamed through a window on one side of the library, but the spot where Nox and Khalid sat remained chilly. Khalid didn’t know what Nox was thinking, but he could tell that the atmosphere around him had sunk.

‘Does he really want to go outside that badly?’

Even so, Khalid didn’t want to let him go. He kept thinking: what if Nox tried to run away again?

The emperor had never told Khalid that Nox hadn’t been trying to escape, so Khalid still misunderstood everything. And Nox hadn’t tried to clear up that misunderstanding either—because his will had already been broken.

Only after quite some time did Khalid finally speak, wondering how to lift the heavy mood even a little.

“…How about a drink?”

For Nox and Khalid, the fact that it was the middle of the day was irrelevant. At the mention of alcohol, Nox’s gaze, previously fixed on the window, shifted to Khalid. He then nodded.

“I’m not very good at it, but…”

“That’s fine. I’m not challenging you to a drinking contest.”

Khalid closed the book he had been half-heartedly reading and rose from his seat. Nox followed him as he exited the library. They headed to Khalid’s room. Nox’s room now existed in name only; he had been staying in Khalid’s room ever since that day.

“Could you bring us some alcohol and simple refreshments?” Nox asked a passing maid before entering the room. The maid nodded and soon disappeared. Nox saw Khalid seated at the window table and naturally sat opposite him.

Khalid looked at Nox, who was sitting opposite him, bathed in the sunlight streaming through the window. His hair, which seemed utterly black, gleamed a deep green in the light. And his eyes, which appeared entirely black.

His eyes hadn’t been that color originally. A fact he had realized one day was now reminded to him again. But at that moment, a knock interrupted his thoughts.

Knock, knock.

The maid brought in some simple, easy-to-eat dishes and whiskey. The crystal glasses sparkled in the sunlight, and the pale amber liquor exuded a sweet aroma. Nox reached for the bottle and filled Khalid’s glass. The liquor in the crystal glass lightened in color as it caught the light.

Khalid looked at Nox’s wrist, then took the bottle as if snatching it, and poured a drink into Nox’s glass as well. Nox seemed to think for a moment, then gripped the glass with both hands. Khalid’s brow furrowed.

But he didn’t add anything. Only silence settled between them. No one spoke first. Nox kept his eyes downcast, and Khalid simply watched Nox. Nox slowly brought the glass to his lips. A sharp taste passed down his throat. As Nox frowned slightly at the taste of alcohol after such a long time, Khalid asked,

“Doesn’t it suit your taste?”

“No, it’s just been a very long time.”

“I see.”

Khalid said that, then emptied the glass Nox had poured for him. Nox watched him, then slowly emptied his own glass to match Khalid’s pace.

Khalid’s gaze clung to Nox’s Adam’s apple, not leaving it. He slowly traced the movement of Nox’s throat as he swallowed the liquor, then licked his lips and refilled his own glass.

The two of them began to empty their glasses, silence as their companion. No conversation passed between them. Just like their empty relationship.

***

Nox seemed a little drowsy. He tried to grab his glass to finish his drink but fumbled, missing it. He frowned, somehow managed to grip the glass properly, and then swallowed the remaining liquor.

Khalid, sitting opposite him, was much the same. He held his glass with a slight frown, but to him, there appeared to be roughly three glasses. It was due to drinking too quickly and too much. Both of them were in the same state. With no conversation between them, the whiskey kept disappearing, and the alcohol content was too high.

Nox nodded off, setting his glass down. Khalid didn’t realize there was only one glass in front of his eyes, but he clearly saw Nox dozing off. So he got up and picked him up. Then he staggered heavily.

Nox instinctively wrapped his arms around Khalid’s neck. Khalid steadied himself with the arms wrapped tightly around his neck and carried him to the bed.

Stumbling, his steps went awry. Khalid’s brow furrowed intensely before his knee caught on the bed, and he tumbled down. Nox’s back hit the bed first, and Khalid’s body collapsed on top of him.

“Ugh…”

“Wait…”

Khalid tried to raise himself but then settled back onto Nox’s body. Nox, feeling the heavy weight, instinctively wrapped his arms around Khalid. Perhaps because of the alcohol, the body heat radiating from Khalid was higher than usual. Khalid mumbled, rubbing his lips against Nox’s neck, “…Now that we’ve set the stage, I find myself with nothing to say.”