I Became a Slave to the Man I Abandoned Novel (Completed) - Chapter 156

Could that truly be called Khalid Via? He was a bloody mass of flesh, too broken to even speak. Yet, his gaze, those blue eyes, confirmed his identity as Khalid Via.

“What are you trying so hard to protect?”

“…”

There was no answer, of course.

“What you’re protecting is just yourself,” Nox retorted coldly. “You have nothing to protect.”

Khalid Via remained silent. Nox Rainerio found his silence frustrating. You just deluded yourself into thinking you loved me, caught up in yourself.

If you truly loved me, you couldn’t have done that. No, you wouldn’t have been able to. In the end, you were just swept away, intoxicated by the past, by the illusion of ‘Young Master Nox’ who no longer exists. So, Nox Rainerio asked directly, “Why won’t you say my name?”

There was no answer.

“If you had uttered my name, you wouldn’t be in this state; you would have died peacefully.”

Again, there was no answer.

Nox felt his insides boil. He couldn’t comprehend what Khalid was trying to protect, even in such a horrific state. Surely, love? Nox didn’t call such a thing love. Nox Rainerio raised his hand and slammed it forcefully against the iron bars.

CRASH!

“Answer me!”

At that, the blue eyes that had only been staring at him opened his torn lips and made a wind-like whistling sound. His eyes, with their whites stained crimson by blood, seemed to look at Nox’s face, yet also at some distant, nonexistent place. Khalid Via was not in his right mind. The overwhelming pain, the unbearable torture.

Thus, he couldn’t even distinguish whether the Nox Rainerio before him was real or just his own hallucination. Khalid Via had believed he would never see Nox’s face again before he died. Was that why? Even if this was a fake, Khalid softly whispered the last words he wanted to say to the Nox who had reappeared before his eyes. The words Nox Rainerio could never acknowledge.

“…do.”

“…”

“I love… you.”

Even though I have inflicted unforgivable wounds upon you, I cannot help but express this as love. Nox Rainerio wanted to mock him. But for some reason, the mockery didn’t come out. Instead, he bit his lip. His eyes were wide, and his clenched fists trembled slightly.

“The ‘Young Master’ you loved died long ago,” Nox retorted coldly.

“You killed him.”

Khalid’s hazy gaze.

“The former Emperor killed him.”

His unwavering resolve to simply remain silent and die.

“My mother killed him.”

Everything was sickening.

“And I killed him. So who exactly are you loving?”

“You’re the one who utterly broke me, who was already broken. You’re the one who killed the young master you loved. And now you say you love me? You utter those words?”

You’re selfish to the very end. Are you just blurting out whatever you want because your life is about to end? Nox Rainerio took a step back, clutching his head. What meaning could love offered to one who was already dead possibly hold?

Then, a hoarse voice continued, “…Young Master.”

“…”

“Nox.”

Khalid painstakingly moved his barely functional tongue and spoke, “As long as you breathe, I am bound to desire you.” It was akin to a confession. “Even if you abandoned me, even if I broke you, this wretched desire remained unchanged.”

Nox’s eyes widened, staring at Khalid Via, who seemed on the verge of his last breath.

“Even if I lay everything down now, someday, I might again harbor presumptuous desires.” Khalid Via’s mind was a mess. He himself couldn’t understand the meaning of the words he was uttering. Yet, Khalid Via felt that he now knew what he and Nox should do.

“So, sever my neck and ascend to a place no one can reach.”

Sever the necks of those who hurt you, and live in a world where no one can hurt you again. Khalid Via mumbled as if lost in a dream. Nox stood there, pale, unable to move.

He couldn’t accept it. No, he didn’t want to accept it.

This is love? Now, you say love?

Nox Rainerio took two steps back. And then quickly took another step in the opposite direction. He had to get out of this dungeon. He found it hard to breathe. The damp, blood-soaked air of the underground pressed against his lungs. More precisely, the very presence of Khalid Via was strongly strangling him.

Nox Rainerio thus fled the dungeon. Khalid Via endlessly watched the spot where Nox had disappeared, then looked at the torchlight that couldn’t reach the deepest part of the cell.

Ah, thankfully.

That he couldn’t see my wretched state properly.

That he wouldn’t feel even a little pity.

He closed his eyes with a faint smile.

Nox, having rushed out of the dungeon, immediately retched upon reaching the outside. Esterion, who had been waiting, frantically supported Nox’s body.

“Duke, ah, no, Your Highness!”

“Haa, ugh…”

Esterion lifted Nox’s body and quickly moved him to a place where he could find some stability. Nox Rainerio felt his fingertips growing cold and struggled to suppress the rising nausea. It wasn’t revulsion at Khalid Via’s pathetic confession. It was revulsion at himself, for having, even for a moment, acknowledged that Khalid’s damned words of love might be true.

Esterion took Nox to a nearby guest room. The Emperor’s former chambers weren’t a suitable place for him to recover.

“Haa…” Nox exhaled.

“Are you feeling better now?” Esterion asked.

“…Yes.” Esterion fell silent for a moment. He wanted to ask what had happened downstairs, yet he also didn’t. He didn’t want to know why Nox, who utterly detested Khalid Via, wore such an expression. And he hoped Nox himself didn’t realize the look on his face.

Nox’s expression was like… yes, it was like the face of someone who had just received a horrific love confession.

“…Esterion,” Nox said. “My stomach feels strange.”

“How so?”

“I want to empty everything out. Even if it’s my insides, I don’t care; I wish they’d be torn out and my stomach left completely empty.”

“…” Esterion slowly took Nox’s hand. His fingertips were as cold as ice. He gripped Nox’s hand tightly, biting his lip. What words should he offer him now? Esterion recognized his own desires. He was aware of the sprout that had slowly grown and taken root in a corner of his heart without him realizing it. Even if it seemed insignificant to others, it undeniably existed. He pondered what he should do now. How he should…

“I wish you wouldn’t suffer,” Esterion said.

“…”

“No matter what you do, even if it’s an irreversible mistake.” Esterion smiled, his brow furrowed. Khalid Via should not live. That man, who disturbed Nox’s heart, should disappear from this world. But if Nox were to even slightly consider keeping him alive…

“I will always be by your side.”

“…Even if I make the most foolish choice?”

“Yes.”

Nox Rainerio laughed, gasping for breath, then bent over, burying his face in one hand. “Everyone, everywhere, is just an idiot and a fool.”

“Perhaps,” Esterion replied quietly, holding Nox’s hand and remaining silent. Time passed in stillness. Nox Rainerio slowly began to compose himself. He felt like crying, but his tears seemed to have dried up. He wished he could just cut open his stomach and empty out his insides. Yet, he soon gathered his resolve and slowly contemplated how to fully process the emotion that weighed heavily in his chest.

“I…” Nox began slowly, and Esterion quietly nodded at his voice.

“You can achieve anything you desire,” Esterion affirmed.

Nox felt his head pound at Esterion’s words. Yes, in the end, everything is my decision. I choose, I regret, I endure. He knew well the weight of the position he had created for himself. Nox barely managed to calm himself and stood up. Esterion tried to help him, but Nox slowly pushed his hand away.

He had to stand on his own.

He had to mend his own broken and shattered self. Nox vowed that from now on, no one would be able to break him. No one would be able to bring him down. He would absolutely never collapse again. And by the side of such a person, a guardian dog would surely be necessary.

***

Feltion Andras Daidalonz’s funeral was, as described, modest. With no foreign dignitaries present, the gathering of imperial nobles seemed empty. The common people outside the palace raised black flags in mourning for the Emperor, but that was all. Those black flags would soon be replaced by golden ones by the man who would ascend the throne.

Nox Rainerio looked down at the firmly nailed coffin. The body, its head barely reattached, would soon be buried and decay. Nox chose to attach no meaning to Feltion’s death. I will not grant you the resentment or hatred you craved. Nox quietly whispered something, a sound too faint for even those beside him to hear. And with that single utterance, Nox Rainerio left the ceremony. Though the funeral was still underway, no one stopped him.

Nox walked along the black-draped path, gazing at the clear, sunny sky. The light was dazzling, yet his eyes remained impenetrably dark even as they absorbed its brilliance.

The funeral ended humbly, and the remaining procedures were now only a matter of time. Everything was now at Nox’s feet, in the hands of the one who had plunged to the lowest status of a slave only to soar back to the heights.