I Became a Slave to the Man I Abandoned Novel (Completed) - Chapter 105

A frigid silence settled among the three people. For the first time in a long while, Nox Rainerio, fully sane, wondered if the Emperor had gone mad as a prize for his own sanity. But the Emperor merely stared at him with a resolute expression. Ah, he’s serious. Nox couldn’t even manage a genuine sneer.

As Nox offered no reply, the Emperor added, as if in an excuse, “Everyone agreed to it.”

“It seems I’m not included in ‘everyone’.”

“…”

Nox slowly considered. Reinstatement, reinstatement, huh. He tilted his head slightly. Reinstatement, in a situation where even stray dogs knew he was the Emperor’s and the Duke’s sex slave?

Nox couldn’t help but chuckle again. At his chilling smile, Feltion and Khalid’s faces stiffened.

“Did it never occur to you that I might not accept?”

Nox sighed, instead falling into thought. One minute, five minutes, ten minutes. Such a long silence followed. Feltion and Khalid remained quiet, waiting for Nox’s answer. Exactly fifteen minutes. At the fifteen-minute mark, Nox’s lips opened.

“Understood.” Feltion looked up. “If you command my reinstatement, what can I say?”

You’re not asking for my opinion, but giving a notice and an order, aren’t you? The smile never left Nox’s lips. A bitter chill dripped from it.

“…You’ve thought well.”

“As you’ve commanded my reinstatement, I also have a request.”

“What is it?”

“Grant me immunity.”

“…Immunity?”

“Yes.”

Nox turned his gaze sideways, then rose from his seat. He slowly approached the window and opened it. The two men’s shoulders naturally tensed, a sign of their extreme vigilance.

“Is it impossible?”

“No, it’s possible.” The answer came like lightning.

“Haha.” Nox tilted his head and laughed. “I’m at a loss, seeing how much attention you two pay to my every gesture, every action. Why was my self-destruction so shocking to you?”

There was no answer from the two men. Nox rambled on as thoughts came to him. “Or perhaps, are you feeling guilty now?” You treated me like a toy, like an object you could conveniently manipulate in your hands.

“Well, that can’t be right.” Nox erased the smile from his lips, creating a chillingly blank expression. “Isn’t that right?”

Nox’s tone was gentle, but the underlying temperature was so low that anyone who touched it would freeze.

“…Yes.”

Khalid didn’t speak, and the Emperor replied with a sigh. He simply couldn’t understand. No, he didn’t even want to understand their feelings. They would be nothing more than shallow pity.

“Lastly.” What came from Nox’s lips was unexpected. “Grant me a sword.”

“…A sword?” the Emperor asked with an uneasy voice.

“I won’t use that sword to end my own life.” Nox said, reading their obvious intentions. Though he probably hadn’t intended to hide it anyway. Nox clicked his tongue briefly and leaned against the window frame. He saw the two men flinch and take a step closer. Nox immediately frowned. Then, sensitive to Nox’s expression, they stopped in their tracks.

“Just an answer.”

“…Understood.”

“Thank you.”

Nox uttered his thanks with an expression devoid of any emotion, a smile that was once close to a sneer having long vanished. He wanted to mock—be it the two men or even himself for having come this far. When Nox fell silent, no words passed between the three. From the start, the two men wouldn’t dare open their mouths in front of Nox. What could they say? To him, everything would be trivial, every word an excuse or a deception.

“The timing of your reinstatement…”

“For now, I will focus on my recovery. After that, as quickly as possible.” Nox stated. The Emperor furrowed his brow, seemingly surprised, but soon nodded. In this situation, granting his wishes was the only course of action.

“Please leave.”

“Nox, I…” Khalid began. Nox shook his head, his back still turned.

“Don’t say anything.”

“…”

Nox spoke as if giving an order, without even looking at Khalid, and Khalid immediately fell silent. Whatever Khalid’s feelings were, Nox considered it none of his concern.

He had no emotional space left. Accepting anyone, understanding anyone’s feelings, was impossible. He saw no reason for it, especially given who they were.

Nox stood by the window, simply watching the snow fall. Khalid and Feltion gazed at Nox’s back, then, with a soft click, opened the door and disappeared. Only Nox remained in the room. Now that the Emperor and the Duke had left, a “healer”—a glorified watchman—would soon be assigned to him. Nox found this deeply unsettling.

Haa, he exhaled. Nox looked down at his wrists. Uglily etched scars marred his skin. It was still hard to breathe.

As time passed, his memories stabilized, and the frequency of self-harm decreased, but Nox still felt the urge to hurt himself whenever his breathing grew uncomfortable. It was the only way he could breathe. Nox took another deep breath. The air that permeated his lungs felt cold.

“Returning to my original place, huh…”

A faint laugh escaped him. It was a smile colder than the breath he’d just drawn from outside the window.

The nobles had clearly seen how far he had fallen. Even if he returned to his noble status, regaining his former position wouldn’t be easy. No, it might even be impossible.

However, there was one silver lining. His reinstatement meant his status would be restored, and once his status was restored…

“Jemeil.”

Perhaps I can bring that child back. Even if he had to live in the mire, he could at least clear the path for the child.

There were many ways. Nox had long since abandoned himself. He wouldn’t shy away from any means. And if the constraints on his methods disappeared, he could do anything. No matter what it took.

After all, this body is already discarded.

He slowly closed and opened his eyes. Nox’s eyes, now open again, shimmered with a cold green light. They were the eyes of someone who had made a firm decision.

***

“I’d like to go out.”

“Go, go out?” The healer’s face showed alarm. Nox sat on the bed and nodded. His expression didn’t suggest any ulterior motives. Still, the thought of him wanting to leave the mansion, given his fragile mental and physical state, immediately sparked worry. After all, if anything happened to him, it would be the subordinates, like themselves, who’d face the consequences.

“I don’t have anything specific in mind, I just feel cooped up.” Nox still didn’t speak down to the healer or the servants, even with rumors of his impending reinstatement circulating. The healer, sensing the unspoken protocol, stood up. He knew he had to at least feign an attempt, even if the Duke didn’t approve.

When the healer left, a servant took his place, standing quietly by the door without any hesitation. Instead of sighing, Nox rose from the bed.

His body was terribly thin, a result of lying down for so long. He clicked his tongue in displeasure. He needed to restore his body and stamina to something similar to before his reinstatement, if not fully. Only then would he be able to endure. Nox clenched and unclenched his fist.

At that moment, Khalid, in his office, asked the healer, “Go out?”

“Ah, yes. He doesn’t have any particular reason, just feels cooped up…”

“…” Khalid paused his pen, deep in thought. He hadn’t prevented Nox from leaving his room, but Nox had confined himself to his quarters, showing no will to live.

‘…Perhaps it’s a good thing he has the energy to move now.’

But want to go outside the mansion? Khalid didn’t think Nox would try to escape now that his reinstatement was imminent. And honestly, even if he did escape, Khalid had no justification to hold him.

Yet, Khalid disliked the idea of him leaving the capital. He wasn’t confident he wouldn’t try to stop him if he ran. He began tapping the tip of his pen, tap, tap, tap. Seeing Khalid’s troubled expression, the healer subtly shrank his neck.

“Sh-should I tell him no, after all…”

“No, it’s fine.” Khalid said, despite his uneasy expression. “A short outing is fine.”

The healer straightened up again. Perhaps it was the unexpected answer, or perhaps it was the relief of not having to face Nox’s “I knew it” look. In any case, the healer nodded.

“Then I’ll prepare for the outing.”

“However.” Khalid pointed at the healer with the tip of his pen. “Assign knights to him.”

“Knights, Your Grace?”

“Yes. Nox’s body isn’t what it used to be, and it could be dangerous.”

“Understood. Then, two knights…”

“Five.”

“Pardon?”

“Take five.”

“Ah, yes. Yes… Understood.” The healer, having received the order, naturally stepped out of the room. He felt he should visit the knight’s quarters first to gather the knights.

Thus, under Khalid’s command, the healer selected five knights and returned to Nox’s room. Nox, seeing them, slowly opened his mouth without even frowning.

“Please leave, except for one.”

“…But.”

“If you have a problem, tell him to come see me himself.”

The healer was flustered by that remark. However, Nox simply asked a servant for a change of clothes with a dry expression.