Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 94

I struggled to straighten my naturally furrowed brow. I forced a weak smile. I laid the groundwork for my pride. It was better to feign disaster, saying I hit rock bottom, than to pretend to be first place and then be shamed when the results were revealed. At least the latter reaction was closer to pity. I disliked shame more than pity. So I whined even more.

“I really think I’m screwed… I’m going crazy. What do I do?”

“Hey, what’s ‘screwed’ for you? Aren’t you still in single digits even if you’re screwed?”

“No, I think it’s worse.”

“If you’re screwed, we’re even more screwed. It’s okay.”

“Really, this time it’s really not okay.”

I deliberately stomped my feet. But it’s strange how, when you act like that, it feels even more real. The word “screwed” was firmly ingrained in my head. This time it’s real. I’m really screwed. Reasons for being screwed can be added on somehow.

The biggest reason is the homeroom teacher. Because the teacher’s face when giving out the report card was genuinely terrible.

“Park Ha-on.”

“Yes.”

A few people passed behind me, and finally Park Ha-on was called. At the same time, Im Yoongi’s gaze also turned to Park Ha-on. I took that moment to slightly open the folded report card. The class rank at the very end was revealed. My hand stopped abruptly while unfolding the report card.

The clearly visible numbers: class rank 7, school rank 12.

7, 7… 12, 12, 12, 12, 12… 12. Everything about me was filtered through a large net, and only my mind flowed into the sea.

“What is this…”

I’ve never seen or received such a score in my life. My body grew cold, and my head filled with noise. I doubted my eyes and hoped that perhaps the school rank was 7, and checked the report card again, but reality didn’t change. My vision spun. Bold footsteps headed towards me. The front seats were filled with a loud noise.

“Crazy, I’m 6th place! Crazy, who dropped? Ah, crazy, whoever it is, thank you.”

Park Ha-on, with a flushed face, grabbed Im Yoongi’s wrist and made a fuss. Instantly, Park Ha-on turned around. I quickly covered the report card. Even in that moment, a petty worry crossed my mind. No one saw me check the report card, right? The worry heavily pressed down on my chest.

“Hey, I’m 6th in the whole school!”

Park Ha-on, who was swinging his clenched fist and shouting about finally breaking through the cursed 6th place, and how I had finally entered their rotating top ranks, suddenly saw me and made an awkward face.

“No, this is my first time getting 6th in the whole school here. It might not be a big deal to you, but…”

His expression was full of embarrassment. In response, I smiled with a kind face.

“Congratulations.”

Even though I dropped.

I didn’t look back, but my attention was directed to Go Yohan in the very back seat. Resentment accumulated. It was all that bastard’s fault. Yes, the previous exam’s first place in the whole school was a result of the scores I had accumulated when I was fine, and this exam was all Go Yohan’s fault. My concentration had already been declining since the last exam, so it was natural for this exam to be ruined.

Yes, it’s all that bastard, that bastard’s fault. As my thoughts deepened, my resentment exploded. Along with that, Park Ha-on in front of me proudly looked at his report card, turning my stomach.

“Wow, really… Wow, who dropped… Ah, really. Thank you. Wow, it’s thrilling. Crazy. 6th in the whole school…”

This is my first time being 12th in the whole school. Damn it. A wronged ghost filled my smiling face. My boiling pride gnawed at my soul. But I didn’t want to congratulate or feel dirty jealousy towards that joyful competitor anymore, so I closed my mouth.

“Go Yohan.”

There was no answer. Only the heavy sound of a chair scraping the floor.

Then, heavy footsteps were heard, and a faint breeze brushed past my back. I raised my head and looked at his large back. Perhaps, my eyes might have been full of resentment. My eyes were a little blurry, so I might have cried. No, I wouldn’t have cried though. I wouldn’t have done such an embarrassing thing.

“Yohan, let’s try a little harder.”

The homeroom teacher threw out an inscrutable remark. So, did he mean, since his grades went up, he should work harder? Or did he mean, since they dropped, he should be more careful? Then why didn’t he say something like that to me?

My fists clenched. My chest felt suffocated with frustration.

I wished someone would just leave me alone, but all the cause of my problems stood tall in front of me. His index and middle fingers tapped my desk. My gaze automatically landed on Go Yohan. Then Go Yohan, with a rather kind expression, silently mouthed these words:

‘Congratulations in first place.’

For the first time, I wanted to kill Go Yohan.

Nevertheless, I did not kill Go Yohan.

To be precise, I couldn’t, not didn’t. How can a fox kill a tiger?

“Damn it.”

I skipped cram school. It was obvious that if I went today, they’d just pour out useless worries about my grades and so on. Besides, I’ve given up on my internal grades now. After all, the internal grades for the last semester of third year aren’t even needed. My long journey of internal grades ended with a mere 12th place in the whole school. I hated Go Yohan so much for causing that result that I deliberately didn’t walk home with him. I just lied.

“I’m going to cram school first today.”

But cram school, what cram school? I kindly sent off the disappointed Go Yohan, then turned my back and headed back to school. And now I’m standing in front of the art room. I’m dreaming of revenge. And making a rational choice. Shin Jaehyun was the perfect person for that situation. If I switched to Shin Jaehyun, Go Yohan would experience unrequited love, right? No one understands that suffering as much as I do, who knows the pain of unrequited love. My torment begins with my success.

…What kind of absurd fantasy is this? Go Yohan probably wouldn’t even be affected much anyway. Weaklings always try to escape reality with thoughts like these.

“Hoo.”

I consciously took a deep breath. According to what the kids told me, Shin Jaehyun often came here even after class ended. He probably went today too. Surprisingly, it was the inconspicuous Lee Yeonwoo who told me that.

“Ah, what should I even say?”

Scratching my head in frustration, I decided to use the excuse that I hadn’t talked much lately and felt left out. Whatever it was, it would be harmless. Once I decided, my actions were swift and decisive. When I burst open the door, I saw Shin Jaehyun, as expected. And it was Shin Jaehyun sitting at a desk, looking at his phone.

“… “

My eyes and Shin Jaehyun’s naturally met, and Shin Jaehyun hastily put down his phone. But that didn’t make the awkward situation go away. It seemed that I, who had a lot to ask for, had to resolve this situation first, so I spoke first.

“Hi.”

“Uh… Hi.”

“You were here.”

“Ah, yeah.”

Shin Jaehyun subtly smiled and lightly tapped a book placed near the desk, saying,

“The atmosphere here is better than reading at home.”

He’s trying to look cool. I, who was subtly sarcastic, just replied with a laugh and ended it there. It was to lead into a serious conversation.

“Actually, I came to see you.”

Hearing that, Shin Jaehyun’s eyes widened.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why me, all of a sudden?”

“Why, you ask?”

I, who had entered the art room without Shin Jaehyun’s permission, arbitrarily closed the art room door. It was very natural. With no emotions or awkwardness, everything went smoothly. I even took off my bag arbitrarily and spoke as if it were nothing.

“Because of you.”

“Me, me? Because of me?”

But I seemed to have made a mistake. Shin Jaehyun reacted in an unexpected way. His eyes widened, he stammered, and pointed at himself. His reaction made me even more flustered.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just that I wanted to see you. I just wanted to talk to you alone.”

“Wanted to see me?”

This time it got twisted again. This time the reaction was strange. He was so flustered that his fluster transferred to me, making me strange too.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just, I’m grateful you took care of me last time.”

“… “

“That… I meant it in the sense that I wanted to get closer.”

Blink, blink. His eyes and mouth slowly opened and closed. Very slowly. I, too, stood foolishly, waving my aimless hand in the air. And after a long while, Shin Jaehyun rubbed his neck with his palm. Haha, hahaha… Then he awkwardly blushed and let out a strange laugh.

What? Why is he laughing like that? It’s absurd, but I also laughed awkwardly along with him.

Ahahaha… The awkward laughter continued stubbornly.