Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 9

Han Taesan subtly seeks me out. And call me Jun. Since almost no one called me Jun besides adults, the change was definitely noticeable. He seemed to think he was calling me carefully, but not at all. The worst part was that Han Junwoo couldn’t hide his discomfort with everything Han Taesan did.

“Han Taesan, don’t disturb Kang Jun’s studying.”

“Huh?”

“I said don’t disturb him. Don’t you understand?”

“Oh… uh, yeah…”

As Han Taesan mumbled and avoided eye contact, Han Junwoo did something childish, hitting the leg of the nearby desk hard. I pretended not to notice. Annoyingly, the clueless Han Taesan seemed to think that no one cared about him calling me Jun anymore. Seeing as he even brazenly called me Jun, it seemed his guts had spilled out.

“J-Jun. S-Sorry for disturbing your studying.”

I stiffened and looked at Han Taesan. He must be crazy. Han Junwoo was right in front of him. Sure enough, Han Junwoo slammed his fist on the desk. Damn it.

“Hey! Han Taesan!”

“…Huh?”

The atmosphere turned like shit again.

“I told you.”

Han Junwoo was angry. Very overtly.

“Didn’t I tell you not to call him Jun?”

“…Th-That is.”

“Call him Kang Jun. His name is Kang Jun.”

And Han Junwoo’s eyes glinted as if they would devour me. I hated that look and lowered my head. At that moment, Go Yohan, sitting next to me, put his arm on my shoulder. He was so close that Go Yohan’s unique low voice was distinctly audible near my ear.

“Han Junwoo. You’re really going to screw yourself over.”

“What are you talking about, you bastard?”

“You’re going to ruin yourself.”

Go Yohan laughed. At the same time, I felt a little angry. There was only one reason.

“Han Junwoo, why don’t you say anything when Go Yohan calls me Jun?”

“Because you two are close.”

I let out a breath of disbelief, flabbergasted.

“Yeah. Go Yohan and I are super close. Damn it.”

Have Go Yohan and I ever hung out just the two of us? No. Han Junwoo clearly doesn’t know that such a thing has never happened. Because of these words, I often felt myself slowly dying, unknowingly and little by little.

My dying soul craves a new life. But the path to escape from you, who are like a drug to me, was too difficult, so I ignored the whispers of my soul and plugged my ears. And I searched for salvation in a new direction.

That salvation was often a kind of service spirit, helping the pitiful Han Taesan, praying to God, ‘I am such a good person, please grant my wish.’

I cried out that I was doing this much good to someone I disliked. However, since I was originally irreligious and my service spirit was unhealthy, driven by self-interest, God might not have granted my wish. Rather, he might have been offended by me.

As Han Junwoo started following Han Taesan, I naturally ended up sticking with Go Yohan. In essence, Han Junwoo was making me close with Go Yohan.

I also had other friends who weren’t associated with Han Junwoo or Go Yohan, but most of them were studious. My awkward friends always had their heads buried in textbooks. Conversely, most of Go Yohan’s friends either slept slumped over their desks until school ended or disappeared during lunchtime, so it was natural for us to stick together.

Lately, pitifully performing unintentional acts of service, I saw Go Yohan’s rosary and pursed my lips.

It was cleaning time.

Go Yohan was hiding between the pillars, perhaps to avoid the wind pouring in from the open window for ventilation, or to avoid sweeping. And his rosary dangled from his wrist. At this moment, I must have been intoxicated by something. Seeing as I suddenly approached him, poked him, and asked.

“Go Yohan. Does God really grant wishes?”

Go Yohan replied indifferently, his head bowed.

“Why don’t you try praying?”

“Have you ever made a wish?”

“Of course, I pray every night.”

“What kind of wishes do you pray for?”

“Peace and well-being? Success? My future and love?”

“What, that’s not like you.”

“What’s ‘like me’?”

Go Yohan, who had suddenly looked at me with a serious face, then smiled brightly.

“Was I a bit cool?”

“No.”

“You have terrible taste. How is this not cool? Is your head made of wood?”

Go Yohan buttoned up his school uniform. And he fastened each unbuttoned button one by one. The rosary swayed between his uniform and his wrist. The cross dangled.

“So, did your wish come true?”

“No, not yet.”

Go Yohan, who said that, seemed tired of talking and finally slumped down near the classroom window. I hesitated nearby, wondering what to do, and eventually sat down next to him.

Avoiding the gradually approaching chill, I looked at Han Junwoo’s and Han Taesan’s empty seats. At the same time, the broom Go Yohan had propped up fell to the wooden floor with a ‘thud’.

“Aren’t you going to pick that up?”

“Too lazy.”

I gathered my knees and looked at the broom, then looked at Go Yohan to hint at him. Then our eyes met. I was startled and looked away. Then I subtly got up, pretending to be nonchalant. I picked up the fallen broom and swept the floor instead of Go Yohan.

“You’re nice, Jun.”

“I have to do what the teacher tells me.”

“Right. So, you’ll do mine too?”

At that, I stopped sweeping the floor and looked at Go Yohan. Go Yohan shrugged lightly and smiled.

“If you’re nice, you should willingly serve others.”

“…”

That’s right. I’m that kind of guy. I became a good son in front of my parents, a trustworthy student in front of my teachers, and a pretty decent guy in front of my classmates. I had lived my whole life that way, so pretending to be a close friend in front of Han Junwoo was easy.

I didn’t have any feelings of wanting to date Han Junwoo or wanting him to know my feelings. I just waited for my emotions to faintly disappear like frost evaporating in the morning.

I swept the floor, feeling a little annoyed.

Should I stop praying now? Probably won’t be granted. Is it because I’m making too selfish a wish? But I didn’t even ask for it to be granted.

I put the broom in the cleaning supplies closet and closed the door. My hands smelled musty.

The problem is that I know reality too well. It would be nice to dream a little.