Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 82

Go Yohan, who had watched my actions intently, laughed with an expression I hadn’t seen in a long time. I remember exactly when Go Yohan made this expression. It’s precisely the expression he makes when he’s hurting someone. It was an expression of struggling to hold back laughter in a situation where he shouldn’t be laughing because he saw something absurd. “Ahem.” Go Yohan deliberately cleared his throat loudly, composed his expression, and clasped his hands tightly. With the restraint of a penitent Catholic.

And then he lowered his eyebrows and said this. It was definitely intentional. Because he knew that if he made such a face, he would look pitiful.

“You’ve been upset with me all this time, haven’t you?”

He was doing this to trick me, to trick me.

“Right? I’m sorry. Really, really…”

Go Yohan’s large hand reached for mine. His hand, much larger than mine, covered my trembling hand. I tried to pull away, but I couldn’t.

“…Why are you doing this today?”

Honestly, I was a little scared. Not scared of Go Yohan, but afraid of the things Go Yohan might cause. Whether it was affection, or him throwing a tantrum because he didn’t like something, all of it.

“Jun-ah.”

A laugh was inserted between “Jun” and “ah.” I definitely heard it. I don’t know if it was a sarcastic laugh or a nervous, reflexive laugh, but either way, Go Yohan must have noticed my trembling. No, he must have deliberately touched my hand to figure me out. Since my expression couldn’t be read, he touched my unguarded hand.

“I’ve been thinking, and I think I made a lot of mistakes. Really, really, really, I’m so sorry. I have a bit of anger management issues, actually. The truth is, I’ve never fought with a friend before. You’re my only friend, right?”

Anger management issues? When did you ever have those? Another lie. Damn it. Or maybe his original intention was my hand. He might have deliberately put his face close to mine so I wouldn’t focus on my hand. To consume my mind. Anyway, Go Yohan is a very cunning bastard in this regard.

“You know, right? That I’m very unhappy… and actually, a soft-hearted kid.”

His act of showing me a crying face again was cunning itself. Artificial moisture welled up in his gloomy, dawn-like face. Go Yohan’s endlessly high nose tip reddened. The area under his long eyes also turned a little red.

At that moment, the thought that suddenly came to mind was that Go Yohan looked even more handsome when he cried. I twitched the hand Go Yohan was holding. It was because the surging tension was pressing my body with a jolt.

I pretended not to and put more strength into my hand. It was too late, though. I wished someone would hit my head with a baseball bat right now. I’d rather just faint.

“…”

“Jun.”

Go Yohan, who must have felt my tension, didn’t laugh; instead, he became even more tearful and pressed his face close to mine. No, this is him trying to make me soft. This bastard, he’s acting hurt, acting weak, isn’t he?

“Hey, get away…!”

“What should I do? How can I apologize to you?”

He cut me off, and a brazen apology followed. The fingers covering the back of my hand slowly stroked the prominent veins on my hand. Damn it, da-amn it. I hurriedly pulled my hand, which was trapped under Go Yohan’s palm. No, I tried to pull it out. If his hand hadn’t been caught before it could escape, my hand would have hidden under the desk.

Go Yohan’s hand gripped mine tightly. Until it turned white.

His slender eyes shifted, quietly looking down at my hand that hadn’t fully escaped and his hand holding mine. Dampness rose from between his long, tangled eyelashes.

“Before that, you know. We said we’d make up, didn’t we?”

“…”

“For now, at least, right?”

Does Go Yohan know? That when his gloomy features become moist, his face turns sticky, like the rainy season. An invisible weight clings damply and stickily to his entire body.

Go Yohan changed his pattern again.

“Jun, right?”

Go Yohan is like a game. If you were to describe a game boss whose patterns change with each phase, and you have to challenge it hundreds of times to memorize those patterns, that would be Go Yohan.

“…Yeah.”

So how should I deal with this pattern? How can I survive? I racked my brain, but no answer came. Go Yohan never had an answer. He was, so to speak, an anomaly.

I stared at my held hand, lost in thought. To get past this phase, what should I do? What does Go Yohan want to do with me? Damn, I’m not a psycho who would choose the idiotic option of dating in this messed-up situation, am I?

I thought it over carefully, but the conclusion ended in failure. Why is Go Yohan doing this to me? If he were ignoring and tormenting me like before, I would understand it emotionally. So then, what is Go Yohan thinking, approaching me kindly again? Even though he’s already so angry with me.

“Yes, for now, that’s right.”

If you can’t decide on an answer, choose the best one. The problem was that, in this jungle-like place, the best option was, unfortunately, Go Yohan. I twisted my hand to pull it out of Go Yohan’s grip. It got caught once within Go Yohan’s grasp, but when I frowned, Go Yohan opened his fingers. I quickly hid my hand under the desk and said,

“Lunchtime will pass like this.”

It was like a monologue. But Go Yohan answered my monologue as if he had been waiting. Quickly, so as not to miss it.

“Then, do you want to go with me now?”

“…That.”

“Shall we go together?”

I finally pondered and decided. Okay, Kang Jun. Let’s take the safe path for now.

“…Okay.”

At my answer, Go Yohan covered his mouth with both hands and laughed like a foolish child. His moist eyes formed a beautiful curve. After this absurd incident, Kang Jun returned to Go Yohan’s side.

It was a grand return.

Even after returning, not much had changed. However, the good thing was that I could openly demand retribution from Go Yohan.

“Hey, Go Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

“Among your friends…”

“Yeah, among my friends.”

Go Yohan was sitting on a plastic chair scattered in front of the convenience store, stuffing his mouth full of ice cream and conspicuously slurping it, which was annoying, but I steadfastly looked straight ahead and asked. Of course, I couldn’t bring myself to look at his face, only his brow. After all, a lustful face licking a pink stick of ice cream with his tongue was not a good sight for a hot-blooded high school student.

“Is there anyone who got new shoes?”

“Shoe-oes?”

Go Yohan leaned his body fully against the backrest of the chair and spoke. A few third-year students passing by glanced at Go Yohan and me. No, I think they did.

‘When did Go Yohan and Kang Jun get so close again? Did they make up?’

‘What are they doing, being so inconsistent? It makes people so self-conscious. Why is the school atmosphere like this?’

I think I heard conversations like that too.

No, it must be my imagination. Honestly, my vision was focused on Go Yohan’s brow, so what could I see clearly? There’s no way I could hear the voices of kids far away. It’s all auditory and visual hallucinations. I decided to fix my over-self-consciousness by looking at Go Yohan.

Yes, the others in my blurry vision besides Go Yohan aren’t looking at me.

People are surprisingly uninterested in me. If you live in delusion, all that’s left is embarrassment and hurt. I muttered to myself and nodded.

Still, seeing the guys in front of me acting friendly again today, maybe my thoughts aren’t entirely wrong? Then I shook my head. That’s obvious. It would be obvious to the same class. That Go Yohan and I made up. Even if it was a bit sudden.

“What are you doing? Nodding and shaking your head by yourself.”

“Ah, there was a gnat.”

“Ugh.”

Go Yohan frowned and waved his hand in the air. Whether he was really scared of gnats or just pretending, he climbed onto the chair with his indoor shoes on and sat hugging his knees. The chair, in turn, was covered in white dust marks in the shape of shoes. He was a selfish guy with quite a thick skin. And it wasn’t even his chair.

Then he took the ice cream out of his mouth and asked me again.

“Anyway, why shoes?”

“Oh, well… just.”

“That’s right. Where did your shoes go?”

“Huh?”

Go Yohan changed the subject without answering my question. Based on Go Yohan’s patterns I’ve observed, this time, he’s genuinely curious. Probably… probably.

“You always wear those shoes, you know? The white ones that smell like money. Why aren’t you wearing them these days?”

I can’t wear them because they were stolen, you bastard.

“Oh, those? I got tired of them.”

“Tired?”

Red liquid dripped from the ice cream in Go Yohan’s hand. That unpleasantly sweet liquid flowed along the apricot-colored stick and between Go Yohan’s fingers. Go Yohan left his hand, covered in red liquid, as it was and continued speaking, frowning one eyebrow.

“You really liked those shoes.”

“I didn’t like them that much. And well, you can like something and then dislike it.”

“Hey, you’re funny. Do you just throw everything away when you get tired of it?”

“What kind of talk is that? It’s natural to throw things away when you get tired of them.”

My gaze went to the pink ice cream melting at a lukewarm temperature. Red liquid dripped onto the floor, tracing the prominent blue veins. As I watched it silently, the ice cream, which had been gently swaying in the air, suddenly lunged towards my mouth.

“Want some?”

“Are you crazy?”

Why would I eat this? I glared at Go Yohan with that look. Go Yohan, however, wasn’t surprised and blinked, speaking slowly.

“It’s delicious.”

“Delicious, my ass…”

“Jun.”

I didn’t answer. I just glared. At that attitude, Go Yohan pouted his lips and acted like he was complaining.

“I’m really glad we made up.”

This time, he placed his other hand, the clean one, on his chest. He was doing all sorts of things.

“We were each other’s only friends, weren’t we?”

“…”

You? A bewildered laugh wouldn’t fade, so I shook my head, and Go Yohan suddenly stiffened his face, waved his ice cream, and began to speak passionately.

“Listen. When I was little. When I was about this tall. There was a PC bang entrance I used to go too often, and it had a sign that said, ‘Pay Today, Credit Tomorrow.’ Do you know what that means?”

“Well, it means you can get credit tomorrow, I guess.”

“Listen carefully. In my young mind, I thought, ‘Then I’ll spend a ton of money today and play like crazy, and tomorrow I’ll get credit and not have to pay, right?’ That’s what I thought. But when I went the next day, played games, and came out, they told me to pay. So I asked, ‘You said credit was possible yesterday.’ Even when I asked that, the answer I got was, ‘Then we’ll give you credit tomorrow. Today is strictly cash.’ That’s what they said.”

Go Yohan, who had been speaking at length without a break, took a deep breath.

“I realized when I grew up. I always had to pay.”

“…”

“It means ‘tomorrow’ is just a concept; it doesn’t exist in reality.”

“That.”