Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 75

Then what about Oh Yeonjun? I gritted my teeth. I wanted to immediately raise my head, grab that brazen face by the collar, and shake him. Why do you hang around with Oh Yeonjun? Why do you eat with that bastard instead of me? Why don’t you mention that guy? He’s the one who’s been getting on my nerves the most lately. Why? My chest swelled with resentment. But if I spoke, a choked voice would burst out. I squeezed my eyes shut and desperately held it in.

“……”

“Hm? So let’s make up.”

Go Yo Han’s fingers, which had crawled up my arm, firmly gripped my shoulder. “Hm?” Go Yo Han’s words were filled with brazenness. A dizzying tickle burrowed into my lower abdomen. The moment primal desire constricted my body, my eyes suddenly snapped open.

Damn it. No. Absolutely not. I was afraid Go Yo Han would feel my trembling, so I hastily slapped his hand away. At the same time, my head involuntarily lifted. It was probably because I was wary of Go Yo Han.

“I’m sorry, but…”

Go Yo Han, who had been smiling leisurely in the puddle, actually had a completely rotten expression in my eyes. Go Yo Han, who had raised one eyebrow, covered his rejected hand with his other hand. The cracking sound from his joints as his fingers moved was quite threatening. I chose my words to be as unprovocative as possible for Go Yo Han, expressing my emotions as little as possible.

“Please talk to me without touching my body.”

Clink. I heard the sound of Go Yo Han’s rosary moving. Go Yo Han was fiddling with the rosary on his arm. Finally, Go Yo Han opened his mouth.

“You…”

And the sound that came out was mocking.

“You’re not thinking I’m still interested in you, are you?”

Air escaped from Go Yo Han’s mouth. It was the sound of him scoffing at me. The request I had barely managed to make, with all my senses on edge, was crushed by ridicule. What did I just hear? My mind was getting hazier and hazier.

“…What?”

“I guess so. Wow, you caused all that chaos and you still think that? You’re really arrogant, so typical of you.”

My head creaked. My thoughts weren’t forming properly, then a foreign object that had been stuck between the gears popped out. The gears turned in reverse. The rapidly spinning gears generated heat in my head. My face, in turn, became incredibly hot.

“Well, my taste was exposed to my family ages ago anyway, and I don’t know what kind of embarrassing, mortifying actions you thought you could pull there… Anyway, my family knows you’re a pathetic pushover and they’ve moved on, so you don’t have to worry.”

“……”

Damn it, I had barely managed to forget it. My head was on the verge of saturation with embarrassment.

“My dad asked why you haven’t come over lately. The old man who never even talks to me, mind you. Seriously, you act like such an idiot and you’re still incredibly loved? I lost all affection for you the moment I saw you. What’s your secret? Let this neglected son learn a thing or two.”

“……Right.”

“Shit. What do you mean ‘right’?”

“……”

“Anyway, I’m making up with you because of my dad. Understand? So don’t overreact. If I say I fought with you, I’ll be treated like an idiot again, you know? Like, ‘What kind of dog-shit did you do to break up with the top student?'”

Go Yo Han’s hand, which had been twisting his joints, hit my arm. The force was so strong that my body swayed a little in the wind. But Go Yo Han didn’t even steady me. That action added certainty to Go Yo Han’s words.

“So, I don’t really want to make up with you, but I’m doing it by force.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea.”

“I get it, okay? I get it. I know, so stop talking.”

I felt irritated. Did he really have to spell it out like that? Go Yo Han was a real son of a bitch. My nerves sharpened. Thanks to that, thorny words came out of my mouth.

“Yeah, that’s good. Honestly, I don’t want to be friends with a self-centered jerk like you either.”

I didn’t want to just lose either. It was also out of stubbornness. I didn’t want to let him know that I, who had already become a discarded card, was still clinging on pathetically. But my words seemed to have upset Go Yo Han again.

“What did you just say?”

He probably felt that way because someone he disliked was evaluating him arbitrarily. Go Yo Han, whose atmosphere had changed from before, spoke in a low, sunken voice.

“What did you say, just now?”

His tone was clearly aggressive. But I only felt wronged. Is he the only one who gets upset? Damn it, someone else is holding it in.

“I’ll speak first. First of all, I’m sorry. I was just trying to help you. I admit I was wrong about that.”

I spat out the words like a machine gun. My intention was to cut him off. I didn’t want to be swayed by Go Yo Han anymore. I wanted to end this horrible conversation right here. Yeah, just hold it in one more time. I hid my tightly clenched fist inside my uniform and swallowed my breath. Just be an idiot for a little longer. For my comfortable high school life.

I exhaled the breath I had been holding and rambled on, adding the thoughts I had been having.

“…Yeah, I’m sorry, I was sorry. I got caught up in the situation of helping you and did something nauseatingly self-centered. It was even so clumsy, and yeah. It’s embarrassing. Just like you said, it’s embarrassing. I don’t even know why I did that. It’s because I’m an idiot. I apologize.”

The words I uttered were the unvarnished truth. Truly. And the wounds Go Yo Han inflicted on me broke me. I just wanted to end this frustrating and helpless situation.

“But I can’t reconcile. Let’s just pretend we don’t know each other from now on.”

To stick with Go Yo Han again in this situation? That would be hell itself. I wasn’t an idiot. Having crossed through hellfire with Han Junwoo, I knew. I learned from the naive experience I had back then. I knew well that doing such a thing was foolish and self-destructive.

In the long run, it was the right thing to do. Because I loved myself. I overcame the embarrassing, wronged, and tear-inducing situation I was in right now. Because I was someone who could see far ahead.

“Just as you said, let’s pretend everything that happened never did. Okay? You said you’ve lost all affection too. You wouldn’t want to see the face of someone you hate, would you? So let’s end everything here, whether it’s friendship or whatever.”

My words trailed off. Yes. Someone he hated. For almost a month, Go Yo Han hadn’t even looked at my face. He only came close to me to torment me, turning my stomach inside out. At the part about losing all affection, I habitually clenched my fist even tighter.

It was to hold back the emotions that felt like they would burst into tears. Damn it. I closed my mouth before I could be caught. My trembling voice went down my throat.

It was done. All over.

“Are you done with your bullshit?”

“Yeah.”

I barely managed to answer the overtly condescending sneer. Good job. I think I did well. I swallowed hard once. Then I cleared my throat as quietly as possible.

“Tell your dad you’re still close with me. That we made up. You can do that.”

The bell had been ringing loudly for a while. It was probably the taxi driver. And this bell became a good excuse. I quickly showed Go Yo Han the screen and turned my body.

“Then I’ll get going. The taxi’s here.”

Now I could go. I could leave this place. Now Go Yo Han and I would be strangers. I swallowed my pride and apologized. In the midst of it, I decided to comfort myself by thinking that I was the more mature one for enduring it. Only then could I immerse myself in the feeling of being a better person and forget this shitty emotion.

“…Where do you think you’re going?”

“Ah!”

But I couldn’t get out of that alley. It was because Go Yo Han grabbed my body as I tried to leave and forcefully turned me around. My back slammed against the wall. My body involuntarily bent, and a groan escaped my lips.

“What in the world are you doing…!”

“Then, then who am I supposed to latch onto next?”

A strange question popped out.

“…What?”

“Tell me. You fought with Han Junwoo and latched onto me, and now that you’ve fought with me, who are you going to latch onto next? That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it? Latching on like a bat.”

Latching on like a bat. Those words pierced my chest.

My gaze involuntarily went to my injured foot. Damn it, what did I do, really, what did I do? How could even Go Yo Han say something like that? My clenched fist’s nails dug into my palm. Yeah. I found my own bowl, because if I didn’t, I’d be bullied. But is that really something to be cursed at for? The feeling of injustice and anger turned into thorns.

“Isn’t it none of your business who I latch onto next?”

I tried to stand up and walk past Go Yo Han. But again, Go Yo Han grabbed my shoulder and threw my body against the wall. Biting my lip from the pain that felt like my back was splitting, I raised my head. Go Yo Han’s cold face was flushed, and he was breathing heavily.

“You, speak properly…”

“Students?”

Go Yo Han’s words abruptly stopped. It was because of the sudden, unfamiliar voice. We both turned our heads at the same time. There, at the mouth of the alley, stood a taxi driver with his phone to his ear. The bell was still ringing loudly in his pocket. The middle-aged man’s eyes looked at me and Go Yo Han with suspicion.

“Students, what’s going on here?”

“Oh, mister. You’re the taxi driver, right? I’m the one who called.”

While Go Yo Han was flustered, I quickly stood up and went to the taxi driver at the alley’s mouth.

“Just a moment, student, were you being bullied by that student just now?”

“No, we were just talking. Let’s go. I think I’m going to be late, I’ll pay you triple if you go fast.”

At my words, the taxi driver made a troubled face, then pointed at Go Yo Han and said,

“Student, be careful. You shouldn’t do that. Huh? I’m busy right now, so…”

“Mister, I’m sorry, but could you please hurry? I really might be late.”

Brushing aside his unnecessary meddling, I clumsily got into the taxi. The taxi driver got in, still looking at Go Yo Han with a slightly uneasy expression.

An adult is still an adult. Go Yo Han was still a guy with some common sense.

Go Yo Han narrowed his brows and couldn’t leave his spot. And after looking at the taxi driver and me for a moment, he slammed his fist against the wall.

“…!”

It was Go Yo Han’s face, similar yet subtly different from a month ago.

That face, contorted with rage.

That face, which felt awkward and scary, startled me, and I hastily tried to close the car door, which was half-open.

Of course, I failed.

“Hey.”

Go Yo Han approached and grabbed the doorknob just as I was about to close the taxi door. Is this bastard crazy? I pulled hard again, but as expected, I couldn’t overpower Go Yo Han. Flustered, I ended up looking up at Go Yo Han.

“Hey, student, what are you doing!”

Go Yo Han didn’t even flinch at the taxi driver’s shout and threw strange words at me.

“I overheard something, Shin Jaehyun? That guy? He’s a total idiot.”

And he slammed the door shut so hard that I was pushed back. Startled by the deafening sound, I flinched. In the meantime, Go Yo Han crushed his lips and said,

“Don’t get close to him. You’ll be treated like an idiot too.”

You’re more of an idiot than Shin Jaehyun. I should have shot that back at him.

All the way in the taxi, I regretted my complacent handling of the situation. I also regretted taking this taxi. It was because, during the short ride to school, I had my ears pounded with stories about how to deal with school violence. What meddlesome busybodies.

However, I couldn’t say I wasn’t meddlesome myself. In the empty classroom, I touched the unfamiliar key in my pocket. The tip of the key poked my thigh. It stung, as if my conscience was being pricked.

“Right. You shouldn’t repay kindness with betrayal.”

I had already received enough. My decision was made, and my hesitant body moved. I tore a page from my notebook. Then, after a sigh, I picked up a pen.

<Don’t pretend to know me anymore.>

And if you don’t want to be bullied either. I stopped myself from writing that last part, feeling like I was being too pathetic. Next, I went to the back of the classroom and found Shin Jaehyun’s locker. Number 18. A number just like his class rank.

There was no one in the hallway. Thankfully.

I walked up to the locker with the number 18 tag on it and shoved the folded paper into the gap. I checked my surroundings again, but no one saw me. It was a perfect crime.

I moved my heavy body towards the window. Beyond the window, the playground and school gate were clearly visible. Go Yo Han was there. Considering the time I arrived and the time I met Go Yo Han, it was a bit early for him to be there. My gaze, out of habit, couldn’t tear itself away from Go Yo Han. Then Go Yo Han suddenly raised his head. Startled, I quickly hid behind a pillar. I almost made eye contact.

“Whoa. You startled me.”

I moved as if to escape and headed to the art room.

Through the thin fabric of my clothes, I could feel the reassuring weight of the key.

This time, I returned around the time homeroom started and quietly participated in class. No one asked where I had been. I deliberately didn’t look at Go Yo Han’s seat. Just in case, I didn’t look at Shin Jaehyun either. It was because the ugly past of being beaten up while defending Han Taesan came to mind.

I hated being a nuisance more than anything in the world. I also hated ungrateful bastards like Oh Yeonjun. I just hoped that as soon as he read the note, which didn’t even have a name, he would understand what it meant and never talk to me again.

And even after lunch, I still didn’t open my mouth once.

“……”

The two backs in front of me never turned around. Oh Yeonjun, who had received the assignment topic, had erased all interest in me. Not bullied, but ostracized, then.