Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 64

Oh Yeonjun’s eyes shone with hope. In fact, my words weren’t important; his agreement was. Perhaps relieved by the shallow comfort, Oh Yeonjun playfully teased me with a slightly taunting tone.

“With grades like yours, you should speak your mind more freely. Anyone would think you’re first in the nation.”

“The top students in our school study well. If I rest even a little, I get anxious.”

“Hey. Your mouth is going to taste sweet. Sweet. You’re going to end up being an outcast.”

If the reaction felt somehow ominous, was this also an overreaction? For now, I forced a smile.

“…Haha.”

“Well, not that it would happen to the great Kang Jun.”

A hand with a bit of force slapped my back. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t light either. It was a clearly unpleasant intensity. What is wrong with this guy? My eyebrows furrowed involuntarily.

I couldn’t act rashly because of Go Yohan, who might do anything, but I wasn’t the type to just sit still either. Aphids that covet the stem must be crushed by hand before they climb up.

“…A bit strong?”

“Ah, sorry. My bad. Study hard!”

Oh Yeonjun left with an insincere apology. This bastard, returning kindness with enmity. If he was going to be like this, why did he ask such nonsense about the March mock exam? No. Perhaps Oh Yeonjun’s actions were related to this situation. The fact that I had no one to eat lunch with now.

It sounded like a trivial concern, but to me, still a high school student, it was a bolt from the blue. Of course, if I just took my tray and squeezed in, there would be a place. The problem was that I could anticipate the rumors that would spread if I didn’t sit at the same table as Go Yohan, meaning I ate at the same time as Go Yohan but not at the same table.

‘Looks like Kang Jun got abandoned like Han Junwoo.’

‘Did he do something wrong? Or is he…?’

I stopped my thoughts with a pale face. Thinking about it further was horrifying.

To go from eating together every day for a year to suddenly using different tables? That meant a death sentence for our friendship. The crucial point was that Go Yohan was my executioner.

I wasn’t foolish enough to quietly hang myself, nor brave enough to declare myself an outsider to everyone. So, the method I chose was to use my arm and studying as excuses. Kang Jun, who had just gotten first place in the whole school, became a good excuse.

Even when everyone left for lunch, I buried my face in my desk and held my pen. I tried my best to look like an enthusiastic student engrossed in studying. If anyone were to ask, ‘Why is he eating alone?’, ‘Why isn’t he eating with Go Yohan?’, I would quickly mumble explanations to myself.

‘I’m just focusing on internal grades until the second semester. I’ll only be like this until the second semester. Anyway, it’s hard to use chopsticks because of my arm right now.’

I thought it was a decent excuse.

Then Oh Yeonjun asked first, and I answered exactly with the excuse I had prepared.

Oh Yeonjun laughed at my answer and said something completely strange. A topic completely unrelated to what I had said suddenly popped up.

“But Yohan was cool. I wondered why he was like that. Honestly, I thought he was a bit of a delinquent.”

“Huh?”

“Yesterday, we ate lunch together in the cafeteria. I was eating with my friends, and you haven’t been around much lately, so I wondered why. So I asked if I could sit next to him, and he just told me to eat next to him. So we had lunch together? And then we talked for a long time, and wow. Now I finally understand why he was famous.”

I stared at Oh Yeonjun silently.

He seemed engrossed in his own situation and started blabbering about things I hadn’t asked.

“…”

Honestly, I was jealous.

Go Yohan’s seat next to him was always my seat. As always, my petty jealousy flared up regardless of the situation. I wanted to shut Oh Yeonjun’s mouth. Seriously, I wished he would just disappear from my side. I hated it so much.

“It’s okay if his grades are a bit low. You know, right? That Yohan is super rich. Won’t he study abroad for university? From what he said, it really sounds like the US. Ivy League?”

“…Really?”

He’s acting so close. His knowing tone is annoying. Seriously. His words were so irritating that I barely listened, just fiddling with the tip of my mechanical pencil.

“Yeah. The way he talked, it just seemed like that. He seemed to be preparing to study abroad.”

“Well, that could be.”

“You don’t know either? Yohan is good at English. I was surprised. He’s completely native-level.”

Thump. My hand, which was fiddling with the mechanical pencil, stopped.

“Did Go Yohan tell you that directly?”

The question popped out of my mouth unconsciously. No one had ever been curious about Go Yohan’s English grades. It was a strength of Go Yohan’s that only I knew. Go Yohan had told me himself. My stomach, which had hastily crammed in bread, felt queasy. It felt like my insides were completely blocked.

“Yeah. We talked a lot while eating. I didn’t even realize lunchtime was over.”

“Oh, really?”

“It would have been great if you were there too. Too bad. If you were there, he would have listened to your stories too.”

“…”

I curled my toes. It was what I did when I couldn’t clench my fists or bite my lips. Still, I always made sure not to show it out of habit. I always spoke gently, as usual.

“I can’t help it because of supplementary classes.”

“You’re really going to be first in the nation, you are.”

Oh Yeonjun was saying something that anyone could hear as sarcasm. What an obnoxious bastard. Malice born from dirty jealousy was seeping out wildly. I willingly accepted Oh Yeonjun’s teasing, which wasn’t quite teasing.

“Right. It would be great to be first in the nation. To go to a top department at Korea University.”

Because you can’t. I packed a full measure of disdain into that one sentence. Oh Yeonjun playfully laughed, patting my shoulder. It was a fairly friendly smile, but I absolutely didn’t miss the subtle look in his eyes.

“Hey, wait a minute!”

Oh Yeonjun shouted loudly, looking at the window between the classroom and the hallway, then stood up abruptly and rudely cut off our conversation before leaving. This was better, actually. I tried to suppress the boiling anger inside me and reached out to Oh Yeonjun’s face, visible through the window.

And then I thought of something completely different.

He wasn’t bad-looking. If Oh Yeonjun dressed up a bit more neatly… Damn it. I clenched my perfectly fine hand into a fist. Then I hit my thigh hard with my fist. Forget it. I had to forget everything.

As expected, Oh Yeonjun was not to be trusted. The proof was the rumor that had spread about me.

The story that I wouldn’t even eat to focus on internal grades until the second semester spread quickly. Oh Yeonjun was the only one who knew that fact, so Oh Yeonjun was the culprit. Well, I had already braced myself for it. He didn’t seem like the type to keep secrets anyway.

The first to meddle was the homeroom teacher. The teacher, who often passed by the classroom during lunchtime, would pat my back with a proud look.

“Being first place is a burden, isn’t it? Don’t study too hard, and make sure you eat your meals.”

“Yes.”

“Shall I open your drink for you?”

“Oh, it’s fine. My fingers are perfectly fine.”

“That’s true, it looks like it.”

And the teacher often gave me drinks or health supplements when I skipped meals. In that sense, the teacher was quite helpful. Except for the questions he sometimes asked me.

“Jun. Actually… I’m really sorry to ask you this while you’re studying…”

The teacher spoke to me, subtly looking around.

“Have you heard anything about Junwoo?”

“No.”

I answered reflexively.

It just annoyed me why he kept prying about something I didn’t even know. Especially in this situation, the awful memories from that time kept resurfacing, causing stress. I was tired of pretending to be an innocent model student and putting up with the teacher’s whining. Why was the teacher so kind beyond his capacity? But with endless patience, I suppressed my rising irritation and answered calmly.

“I haven’t heard from him since he stopped coming to school.”

“By any chance, do you think Junwoo will take the GED?”

“…Is he being held back a year?”

At my words, the teacher looked around to see if anyone was nearby, then cautiously replied.

“Well, Junwoo’s attendance is very low. And even if he came to school… I don’t think he’d hear good things.”

“He’s expelled.”

“…Yes.”

The teacher frowned and sighed softly.

“There’s been a lot of talk about Junwoo disrupting the class atmosphere… His grades were always below standard, and it ended up like that… I tried my best to argue, but it didn’t work out. I want to tell Junwoo the result, but there’s no way to contact him. His parents too…”

Indeed.

It was astonishing, almost suspicious, how a family could suddenly collapse like that. If it was going to fail like that, it should have failed at the beginning of the second year. Then Han Taesan’s life wouldn’t have been ruined along with it. Han Junwoo was a nuisance to the very end.

The teacher kept telling me these kinds of stories, which showed he still didn’t understand the classroom ecosystem well.

If there’s a bully, there’s a bullied child. If the former was Han Junwoo, the latter was Han Taesan. Unfortunately for Han Taesan, the teacher was a teacher who wanted to save every student. But as long as the two existed in the same classroom, there would be no peace.

“…Teacher.”

The frustrating, frustrating teacher. The angel-like teacher who cared for Han Junwoo was a devil-like presence to Han Taesan.

There are no true teachers in the world. A teacher who loves all students simultaneously becomes a teacher who torments the marginalized students. To lead this jungle, one must clearly decide who to abandon and who to keep. The teacher, just over twenty-five, seemed too young to shed his illusions and become a realistic teacher.

“If I happen to meet him, I’ll tell him.”

“Is there a way for you to meet him?”

The teacher asked back with a hopeful voice, but this was all I could say.

“No, not really… But if I happen to meet him, I’ll definitely tell him.”

“…Alright.”

It was a slightly relieved answer.

“That much is thanks, Jun.”

“No problem.”

The teacher might have thought he had fulfilled his responsibility with this. He was kind but a little lacking in responsibility. The teacher slowly patted my back, then said with a sudden realization.

“Oh dear. Look at me. I just wasted a student’s time. I’m sorry.”

“No problem. Just say the word if you ever need anything.”

I smiled subtly.

“Thank you for the drink.”

“No, I should be thanking you. Study hard.”

“Yes.”

The teacher tiptoed out of the classroom cautiously. After the teacher left, the classroom was filled with silence. As I stood still, I could hear the second hand of the clock moving. The classroom at lunch, when no one was around, was this quiet. And lunch, when no one sought me out, was this lonely. I realized anew how much I was learning at nineteen.

“…What do you mean ‘study hard’? I couldn’t even solve one problem.”

I threw my mechanical pencil onto the textbook.

And the fact that I was struggling like this was also proof of being nineteen. I had no confidence to fight and win against Go Yohan, nor could I find a way to overcome this situation. All I could do was try my best to prevent the worst possible outcome.

I was afraid of falling.

There’s a difference between me who liked Han Junwoo and me who liked Go Yohan.

Han Junwoo made a mistake towards me, and I made a mistake towards Go Yohan. Go Yohan was naturally angry. It was just that I didn’t understand his way. So Go Yohan was disappointed in me, and now he dislikes me.

The commonality was my behavioral pattern.

I ignored Go Yohan just as I had ignored Han Junwoo.

Occasionally, I would unconsciously let my gaze linger, but then I would hastily and consciously avert it. I didn’t want to be caught caring. It was a matter of my pride.

Even though I had been abandoned, I didn’t want to believe I had been abandoned.

I abandoned him too. I agreed to it too. I believed that. That false belief helped me endure.

During the time I couldn’t receive Go Yohan’s gaze, I wondered why I had come to like him. First, he was handsome. I pay a lot of attention to faces. Second, he was tall. I also pay attention to build. Third, he was rich. But I’m rich too, so never mind. Cancel that. Third, he was quite good at studying. However, this was an unexpected factor, not something to fall for, I thought. Cancel that too. Third, he was quite kind to me.

Yes. He was kind to me. And he continued to be kind even after knowing my true nature.

After realizing that, it took five nights for me to regret what happened at Go Yohan’s house. Sometimes, my actions were so embarrassing that I couldn’t sleep. I was so ashamed I wanted to strangle myself. After nights of wishing Kang Jun would die, would just disappear, there was again the composed Kang Jun.

After that, I consciously avoided looking at Go Yohan. I desperately endured and endured.

One day, there was even a day when I didn’t look at him once. I was still hungry at lunch, and the bread was still tasteless. But they were tolerable days, compared to that graffiti I found in the science lab.

“…”

<Deposed Queen Kang>

<LOLOLOLOLOL you f*cker>

<Will be remembered in history lol>

The graffiti was written with a permanent marker on the second-row desk in the science lab.