Eighteen’s Bed Novel Completed - Chapter 61

This was probably Go Yohan’s trap. I think so. While all my nerves were focused on the door, Go Yohan pulled my arm and threw me down under his body. As I fell, I covered my mouth to prevent myself from making a sound.

That posture was wrong.

Unable to use my hands, I plunged straight to the floor. The place where I hit my forehead was Go Yohan’s thigh. My face was pressed hard, and I momentarily suffocated. A shiver ran down my spine, thinking that if I had fallen on my face, I might have lost a tooth or two. Go Yohan’s scent, which permeated me, jolted me awake, and I tried to raise my head. No, I tried to raise it.

“Look at this. Of all places to fall, you buried your head here.”

Until Go Yohan’s large hand pressed down on the back of my head.

“Mmmph, mmmph!”

Even if I wanted to speak, proper words wouldn’t come out. I glared at Go Yohan with wide eyes, but he just looked at me with a flushed face. You motherfucker. Even if the injustice surging from deep within me forced my mouth open, it was blocked by the hand that was raking through my hair.

Half-kneeling, my head buried between Go Yohan’s legs. Even though I couldn’t see myself, that posture was clearly one of begging Go Yohan for forgiveness. After I adopted that posture, humiliation superseded guilt. Why me? Why am I suddenly going through this?

A defense mechanism, comforting myself, arose before the guilt.

Everyone is selfish and takes their own side. I know I’m mean, but isn’t that just how humans are? My eyes were hot. A cold wind, where winter hadn’t yet melted, invaded through my roughly disheveled collar. The hand that had been pressing my head slowly descended and gently pressed my defenseless back. The pressure made me gag. My head involuntarily lifted.

I struggled to hold back my tears. A choking sound escaped through my forcibly parted lips, but then I was scared by the hot breath on the back of my head. I stopped my gasping breaths. I used all my might to shout at Go Yohan, trying not to let him know I was scared.

“Let go. I said let go. This… Let go. Let go! Let go!”

Sniff. I heard Go Yohan swallow his tears. And yet, perhaps unable to stop crying, the sniffling didn’t stop. Go Yohan would sniff by himself to the point where I suspected he was faking it, but then when he spoke, he would become frighteningly calm.

“You’re going to run away, aren’t you? You can’t.”

What do you mean, you can’t? It was nothing short of a child’s stubbornness.

But the unpredictable whim of a childish psycho is scarier than calm fear. Go Yohan had a natural talent for creating dramatic situations. But I never dreamed that situation would happen to me. Perhaps I was a little arrogant. No, I was arrogant.

“Ugh, ugh…”

Yes, my life was always a discarded card. I’ve never been anyone’s number one. A tin can, used conveniently when needed, then thrown away if disliked. The more I realized it, the more ashamed I felt, and tears flowed.

I forced out a choked voice that tore through my vocal cords. Because I desperately wanted to ask this. So it was a miracle that it came out.

“What… what did I do so wrong…?”

From Han Junwoo to Go Yohan. Why do I have such love? I must be terrible at picking men.

“Why… why do I have to suffer like this…?”

My chin trembled. I desperately suppressed the voice that was holding back tears. And Go Yohan calmly received my sorrowful question from above me.

“What did you do wrong?”

“…Ugh.”

“You’re a real motherfucker.”

Go Yohan wiped the tears flowing down his forearm and continued.

“How could you ignore me like that in front of my father? How could you make me look like a fool in front of my family, in front of my sister? Am I really that ridiculous to you? Do I look like an idiot just because I treat you well?”

Go Yohan clenched his fist with unbearable anger on my back. The pressure was so painful that I raised my uninjured hand and grabbed Go Yohan’s hand, but it didn’t budge. I hit Go Yohan’s wrist with my fist. Unfortunately, my struggling wrist was caught by Go Yohan and slammed to the floor.

“L-let go, uh!”

“Joon.”

“Ugh, ugh.”

“Do you know how much I’ve helped you?”

The moment I twisted my head and opened my mouth, Go Yohan covered my face with his large hand. My nose and mouth were crushed, making it hard to breathe. I glared at Go Yohan, my eyes bulging above his hand. My vision gradually blurred with tears. Through my blurred vision, Go Yohan slowly twisted his neck. Go Yohan had an arrogant expression, as if telling me to remember this well.

“I made you more valuable than Han Junwoo.”

Go Yohan spoke like a man who was showing off. He was like a peacock fanning its tail. He also seemed to be acting smug, as if saying he was this great and capable person. Go Yohan smiled demonstratively and firmly gripped my horrified face. As if to make me pay attention.

“Because you were always second string among those dickheads. Didn’t you always want the first-string spot?”

Pah. Go Yohan burst out laughing. At the same time, he wiped his nose with his hand. Go Yohan’s cheeks, where the tears had stopped, were pale and chapped.

“I did all that for you, and how did you treat me?”

“…”

“Tell me. How did you treat me?!”

Go Yohan shouted. It was so loud that my eyes involuntarily winced. It was certain. Go Yohan couldn’t control his emotions right now. I closed my eyes for a long time, trying to escape reality. An excuse hovered on my lips. It was a very pure excuse, unlike me. If I thought about it, my love was cowardly but also pure.

I just hated that you were hungry. We ate together for such a long time. You’re secretly a glutton. How could I not know that? I’ve been watching you, in a bad way and in that other way, for over a year. That’s why I brought you to my house, isn’t it? Even though I pretended not to, I wanted to take care of you. I couldn’t let you stay indefinitely because of my parents, but I tried my best to make you feel comfortable sleeping and playing at my house. I’m not that bad of a guy. Everything I did was for you.

“Ugh…, ugh.”

I wanted to make excuses, but the feeling of my heart crumbling choked my throat, and words wouldn’t come out. It was also natural that words wouldn’t come out, as Go Yohan was now gripping and pressing my face with the hand that was no longer holding my wrist. The only words I could utter in this situation, with my face buried in his crotch, were short ones like these.

“I, I did wrong…”

The sound of my swallowed tears echoed on the floor. The reason I was shedding tears was out of hatred. I hated myself for making Go Yohan suffer, I hated myself for creating this situation, and I hated Go Yohan for oppressing me like a discarded card, and I pitied my own plight. I hated my position, which forced me to awkwardly utter words that hurt my pride, and yet I hated myself for feeling sorry for Go Yohan.

But the price of apology was too terrifying.

The hand gripping my face grew hot. My face also grew hot. It was from embarrassment. I quickly pushed away Go Yohan’s hand, which had loosened a little. I thought it was an opportunity. Squeezing through the brief gap, I screamed.

“I was wrong, I was wrong!”

Yet, I couldn’t yell, only hissed like a frightened wildcat. My gaze was on Go Yohan, but at the same time, I checked the door. Half of my consciousness was searching for Go Yohan’s family.

“…”

Then, bang, I heard something hit. It wasn’t a sound from here. My breath caught in my throat for a moment. Was it a person? Did they hear? Were they listening? I flinched and cowered. Go Yohan, seeing my action, slowly opened his mouth.

“Don’t chicken out, idiot.”

“A sound… Is anyone outside…?”

“It came from my room. I left the window open.”

He was strangely gentle again. I cautiously looked up at Go Yohan.

Go Yohan moved his thumb and slowly wiped away my tears. Unlike his ruthless pressing earlier, he was incredibly gentle. As the hand that had been pressing me loosened, the floodgates of my tear ducts opened. My eyes welled up, and tears poured out.

I struggled to turn my body. This time, I reached out and grabbed any object lying on the floor. I almost fell once. I desperately avoided Go Yohan’s hand, which reached out to support me. I didn’t fall to the floor, but I stumbled, losing my balance.

“Ah, damn it…”

Go Yohan, who had lost me, immediately reached out his hand again as if to grab me. I tried to avoid it, but my tattered shirt was already in Go Yohan’s grasp. Tuduk, the sound of a button tearing was heard. My shirt ripped open instantly. My upper body, which had been tensed, lost its supporting strength as my shirt opened. I fell to the floor, still struggling to escape Go Yohan.

“…”

Then, something light was caught in my hand. I didn’t let go of it. Nothing else mattered. Anything was fine if it would just get me out of this situation. I brought what was in my hand down on Go Yohan’s head as he approached me.

Thud.

What fell to the floor with a heavy sound was Go Yohan’s alarm clock.

“Ah, damn it…”

Go Yohan held one side of his head and looked up. He seemed to have taken a significant blow, as he winced and staggered, squinting one eye. This was the moment. I pushed Go Yohan’s shoulder again and turned my body. Go Yohan reached out his hand again. Fortunately, Go Yohan was late. Go Yohan’s hand barely caught my fingertip, then let go.

I have to get out of this room quickly before Go Yohan comes closer. I have to go.

That thought consumed me. I threw myself at the doorknob. Before opening the door, I turned back to check on Go Yohan. It was a reflexive action. Perhaps it was a foolish act dictated by my instincts. I think he got hit too hard. This weak thought crossed my mind.

“…”

And that foolish act made me stop. Go Yohan, dizzy, seemed unable to get up, leaning against the wall, unable to move a single step. He just looked at me and the door alternately with trembling eyes, and said anxiously,

“…You’re really dead.”

“…”

“If you move even one step from there, you’re really… dead to me.”

I was a fool for hesitating at those words. This pathetic instinct never leaves me. It was my instinct that always dragged me down to rock bottom. Go Yohan, sensing my hesitation, said nervously,

“Don’t ignore my warning.”

Or perhaps he was so dizzy he didn’t know what he was saying.

“No. It’s not over. I’ll take it back. No. So don’t go.”

At those words, a sense of déjà vu washed over me. That warning, stammered out. That warning came to mind. I instinctively recoiled without realizing it. Go Yohan made a strange face at my action. But because I didn’t know what would happen if I stayed in this place, I ignored his unreadable face and closed the door.

Go Yohan’s face disappeared below the door.

I scrambled down the stairs. As I ran towards the front door, I unexpectedly ran into Go Yohan’s younger sister, who had popped out of a room. Damn it. I ran too fast and almost collided with her. Go Rosa, holding an empty cup and with wide eyes, slowly scanned my attire.

“…”

“…”

Messy hair, torn shirt. Even if she was a middle school student, if she was a top student at a prestigious middle school, she would have immediately understood what this meant. No, she’s probably a high school student now. I’m a year older, right. Right.

Instinctively, I checked Go Rosa’s expression. It wasn’t good. My mind went blank. I’m screwed. I quickly tidied my clothes and hair. To finish, I smiled as casually as possible. But Go Rosa’s expression became even more serious. The hand holding the cup extended a finger and slowly pointed at my shoulder.

“Shoulder…”

“Oh, th-this.”

With clumsy movements, I pulled up my wrinkled shirt even more.

“…How did you get hurt?”

“Ah.”

Go Rosa’s eyes narrowed. Her small lips parted and closed a few times, then parted again. Seeing her hesitation with my own eyes, I couldn’t help but panic. What do I do? What do I do? My mind went blank. What kind of question was she going to ask? How would I answer? The answer that emerged from a trash can filled with various things, even food waste, was so ordinary and absurd.

“I’m going home, Rosa.”

“…”

“This injury is just from a small fight with your brother… I got upset. It’s nothing. Really. So don’t worry. I’m going. Goodbye.”

In that confusion, Go Rosa finally opened her mouth.

“I’ll open the front door for you.”

“…”

“Go. Just go.”

She wore the same expressionless face I always saw and scanned me up and down. With a burning face, I hastily lowered my hands to cover myself. My fingers, covering my shame, felt utterly pathetic.

Go Rosa casually turned her gaze and unlocked the front door. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the little girl’s feet. She opened the door, then ignored me and headed to where she was originally going. Her steps were very relaxed and smooth.

Suddenly, I smelled the strong perfume of a middle-aged man.

“…”

I was suddenly scared and bolted out the door. Even after leaving the front door, while crossing the garden, and on the way to my house, I ran like crazy, unable to collect myself. My breath climbed to my throat, constricting it tightly.

Finally, after opening, closing, and locking my front gate, I could relax and collapse onto the floor. I had run such a short distance, but my ragged breathing and the pounding of my heart, as if it would burst, filled the air. A trembling, quiet voice, matching my heartbeat, grew louder and louder.

‘He… he’s strange.’

‘Kang Joon. Be careful.’

Be careful of Go Yohan. Han Taesan’s voice became clear amidst my chaotic thoughts.

No. No. That can’t be. I shook my head alone. I needed time to process what had happened to me. Something like that couldn’t have happened to me. It couldn’t have happened. It must be my delusion. No matter what, Go Yohan wouldn’t do that. It’s all, all a misunderstanding.

However, the most unfortunate thing for a high school student is that even knowing the impending misfortune, they must go to school no matter what.